I'm being slightly unfaithful to GA.

Or rather, I'm broadening my rainbow horizon beyond GA.

Just to recap, GA was the first gay site that I started to visit regularly a few months ago. Various messages on the boards prompted me to come out to a few friends and family members, but I'm still mostly in the closet.

Things are moving along though... in my mind, at least, and I'm growing incredibly impatient about meeting someone. It might seem strange, since it took me months to figure out what I really wanted. But since I took my decision to look the gay way rather than the straight way, part of me expects the Earth to suddenly open up and reveal the new love of my life.

Since that is unlikely, I decided to give the Earth a little help.

Two weeks ago I registered at a French LGBT website. I figure I need some closer, local perspective on what I'm going through, and I need to meet new people. Don't get me wrong, I'm meeting plenty of nice people over here, and I'm not leaving GA any time soon. But as much as I like GA, it gets me nowhere closer to having someone to kiss goodnight and wake up next to in the morning. Even worse, I feel like, because I'm new to this "self-reinvention" I'm likely to get a silly crush on someone here and get hurt in the process. I will deny any claim that it's happened already. Shusshh! After all, it's easy to chat on an anonymous forum: you don't get the awkwardness of a face-to-face conversation, it leaves plenty to the imagination and you can hide your flaws and ugly mug behind a cute avatar.

Anyway, I need to slap myself back to reality.

So, even if this Paris website is no more a dating site than GA is, I'm hoping to get some contats close to home, and meet some like-minded people in real life, without having to go through the scary bars and clubs or the creepy dating sites, where all the guys apparently want is get into your pants, not into your heart.

Last week, I went one step further and registered at an international gay meeting group over here. These guys go and grab a beer or coffee from time to time in a neutral non-gay environment, and this is something I'm comfortable with. For some reason, the idea of getting a French boyfriend does not really appeal to me. I've been used to having some international flavour in my life, so anything else than French would be nice! Not that I would reject a French lover if I found one!

On Sunday, I also found myself in public in a group of openly gay people, within a bigger crowd. It was a first, so I felt a little intimidated but otherwise I was fine. I made some new friends and now it looks like I won't be going to the Gay Pride by myself. That will be another step further out of the closet, one that I need to take so that my own choices really sink in, and move from the fluttery virtual world, to the tangible, real one.