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Demetz

Yippee!

Yes! I finally got my computer back! *does a happy dance   Okay, so a couple months ago my videocard burnt out. If I had money, it could have been fixed in two days. I didn't have money, so I had to go out and get some... finally got the money and everything all ready, sent it in, and have it back again! I can finally start writing again and of course, I'll be dropping by chat much more often now. I'm officially a part of the community again.   ~Deme
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Vacation outing

So my mom flew in to Kansas City Missouri to visit her family a few weeks ago. She managed to not tell my grandmother about me being gay and having a boyfriend for the entire trip... almost. This morning they printed off a bunch of the pictures on her camera and among them was one of Silven. My grandmother asked who he was... my mom said he was a friend of mine; she asked how we knew each other, mom said we met over the internet; she asked what we had in common and.. .well... my mom doesn't know
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Unsteady

Ever get the feeling the world or the universe as it were is running against you?   A year ago, I saw myself today being about to start my third semester of graduate school. Where am I instead?   I'm in the smallest room of my parents' house. I have a crappy job that doesn't pay well enough for the bank to approve the loan I need to get a non-crappy car. This means I do not have the option to move out of my parents house. Why is that? Surely I could just get a crappy car without the loan rig
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Unentrenching

A thunderous excursion at criminal velocity,   Prompted by tormentuous raging pychopathy,   Preceded all preference for bodily safety,   For no latch remained locked within his fragile psyche...             Crash.
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STD Testing; Sonogram results

So today I went in for a consultation, talked with a doctor about various things concerning safe sex, and talked about the various dieseases they could test for and whether I want each of the tests.   I decided to be tested for them all.   Dwayne if you're reading this, I'm not writing it to hurt you... I don't know what I can or can not believe about what happened between us. I have asked you to tell me... its your decision to do so or not. If you leave me to put the pieces together with pi
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Standardized testing... yawn

So Yesterday after I got out of class I noticed a flyer about a lecture to be held regarding "The hundred Languages of Children." Well, being only a few weeks away from co-fatherdom I decided I'd drop in on that lecture, thinking it was going to be about children... what with the topic being the hundred languages of children.... as you can probably tell, for the most part it had very little to do with children. It was mildly interesting to down right sleep inducing to watch Mr. Pence talk about
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Sometimes...

I am only your boyfriend some of the time. The rest of the time I am nothing. My voice has no words My mind is without content My heart has no value I exist, as only a broken shadow in your mind. For I am only your boyfriend some of the time.   I look back through my blogs here, public and private... I look back through e-mails, many I never sent... I look back over my life and for so... so long I have been unhappy - in a desperate struggle with my boyfriend to get him to show the love h
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So much for stage two!

Haha, okay so maybe not yet but with last night....   Well I'll start at the beginning. The beginning of yesterday, anyway. Yesterday was a Tuesday, my day off, so I had lots of free time and its also the day I do my best to find myself a date. During the day time I went out and took the Florida Criminal Justice Basic Abilities Test. While I was there I decided to go ahead and start the PASS process, which when complete will put me into the candidate pool for law enforcement agencies across al
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Sick of Being Stood UP

I'm not even going to bother anymore. Even when someone agrees to meet (rare enough, everybody's got some excuse) they don't actually show up.   I'm not that bad looking. I like to think I have a decent personality, but nobody bothers to actually go out with me.   So now I'm not bothering. Just going to do my own thing and quit caring.
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Running away with me

So last night I did what I've wanted to do metaphorically in a literal way. I ran. And Ran. And kept right on running. It was pouring rain out. I went anyway. Lightning striking all over the place. Sun set well below the horizon. I kept running. Soaken wet, heart pounding, foot numbing I stopped and walked long enough to so I could feel my foot again and catch my breath, then I ran some more. And ran, and ran. I ran right past the road I was supposed to turn down and didn't realize it for a half
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Returning to the previous schedule as best as possible

Okay, so... after some clearing up by the administration as to what constitutes porn in their eyes, i will soon be posting Nathan and David part 2, not quite on the schedule i had hoped, but probably within a week. Liberty Island will remain behind the scenes and a chapter of Webs should be on its way by some time in the middle weeks of the month. Sorry about all the confusion.   Also, while you're here, I updated the story tracker to give a summary for the month of march. Hopefully at some po
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Remix

So yesterday I get a call from Jeremy, apologizing again and wanting to hang out because he's bored and doesn't really have much to do. What a coincidence, I'm generally bored with nothing to do too. So, I agree to hang out and when he gives me a call after work I suggest we play a game of Axis and Allies - an exceedingly complex board game that can go on for hours and hours. I also suggest he ask Aaron to come over and play as well...   It seems that between talking to Jeremy that afternoon a
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Reflecting on a turbulent past

I wrote this poem some time ago, and I'm posting it again now, with some extra stanzas. It tells my story pretty well I think.   I was walking across a rope bridge Behind me, my life without you Before me, the day I move in with you Below me, no rivine, nor rushing stream Below me lay a vastly wide river Moving warm and slow To nowhere I'd rather go Than the other side.   You were standing on the other side When I saw you disappear, And a moment of confusion crossed my mind When yo
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Posessive-Obsessive Exes

Last night... what a trip.   I get a call from Aaron who I hadn't heard from in two weeks apologizing about not calling because he'd not had any access to a phone and the bitch of a roomate who does have a phone refused to let him use it.   He says that he and a bunch of friends, including his ex, are going to be meeting at a park to hang out for a while and he invites me to come along. So I do - this is about 10pm. By around midnight the other friends have all left and its just me, Jere
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One exam left!

So yesterday I took two exams, one in Management of information resources in the public sector, and the other in Contemporary political philosophy.   I'm not sure how I did on the first one, but I'm not especially concerned either. I would have to get below a fifty in order to not get an A in that class. As for Contemporary Political Philosophy... that one I gambled on a bit, and my gamble worked great.   You see, we were told that 6 questions would be on the exam, 3 in each of two sections.
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Old wounds mostly healed

http://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewsto...&chapter=11   I wrote this several months ago, but at that time I could not quite bring myself to actually post it among the other poems I have written for Silven... however, as time has passed, and much of the pain has eased, I think it may be suitable after all. Its not the happiest poem, it certainly took a lot out of me, though at that time it was more reflecting pain already present... even in pain though, and perhaps its just the survivali
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Okay, so its been a while...

A general update on things....   Gavin and I are friends, and not more. His low sex drive and disinterest in the romantic did not make him a good match for me for a boyfriend... we're still friends though. I actually just got him a job working at the same theater I'm working at.   Oh yeah, I got a job working at a theater. The pay sucks, but I do like the job and the people I work with.   I'm looking at a job elsewhere, if I can go to work as a waiter in a restaurant around here, I think
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New Year's Bad News

So today I was told i have 30 days to leave my current residence. It seems my landlord has a friend moving here from out of state and as the other friend already living here has known my landlord longer i'm at the bottom of the totem pole and on my way out.   Interesting how he didn't bother to inform me of this until AFTER I've paid him this month's rent, which had I known his plans, would have been paid to him weekly until i had a new place to stay.       I am not happy about this.
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New guy; new job?

So last night I had this guy come over. We go out to dinner at applebees for their 2 for 20 special and have nice and ranging conversation... then we go back to my place and for the next couple hours our hands are all over each other but we keep our pants on...   Actually... I could give a very thorough and exciting description of all the foreplay that went on between us, but instead I'm going to skip all that and say that at about 2am I asked if he wanted to spend the night or head home... he
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New Content Block

For my own amusement, I started keeping track of how many new reads and reviews I was getting for each of my stories as well as keeping track of how many new chapters are being put out on a week to week basis... this helps me track how popular stories are in the present, rather than just how many times they have ever been read. My good friend TL The Writing Tiger mentioned that would be an excellent thing to add to a blog... and so I tried to do just that... the thing is, it wouldn't all fit int
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New beginnings

These past two days have been incredible.   Two days ago, out looking for a new place to live and a job, I meet this woman who wants to pray for me, so I figure why not? It couldn't hurt. Later, while checking out a place for a job, I meet another guy who's looking for a new place, we talk for a few hours and we think we've got a decent business deal worked out to cut down on our costs to find a place to live. He's not gay... he does have a nice body but not all that cute in the face, and kind
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Never making it to shore.

This poem is straight from the heart, very emotional, very metaphorical, and possibly tear jerking. You've been warned.   I was walking across a rope bridge Behind me, my life without you Before me, the day I move in with you Below me, no rivine, nor rushing stream Below me lay a vastly wide river Moving warm and slow To nowhere I'd rather go Than the other side.   You were standing on the other side When I saw you disappear, And a moment of confusion crossed my mind When you retur
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Nathan and David Part 3 on the way

Okay, I admit, its been ages sinces I've posted a new chapter of... anything >__<   However, I do have a new chapter of Nathan and David on the way, it just needs a bit of editing to polish it offf... the problem is... If you've talked with me before, you've always heard it referred to as the final part of Nathan and David.   This is no longer the case as I now have some insidious, explosive, boiling hot plans for our boys and their honeymoon.   In any case, be on the lookout for so
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Moving Out

For ages now I've wanted to move out but earlier this week I made the decision: I'm going to do it.   Today I got a call back from someone whose ad I had responded to. He's 37, buying a house, and looking for a room mate. The house is a two bedroom, one bathroom home with big beautiful trees in the yard. We've set up a meeting saturday afternoon to meet and look at the place. He also mentioned he might drop by my restaurant friday evening.   Its 500/month with utilities included.... more th
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