There are many here who have lived that life, on either side of that decision. It's not an easy choice.

I went through the same thing (I even wrote something about it on my blog - but most of the thoughts stayed private ). It's not an easy decision, it took me some time too...

thanks guys.... It's a lot for me to think about... and confront - perhaps sooner than I would have liked.

I hope you will find an appropriate solution. I hate it to be like the movie "Maurice"

Yes lots of good questions ... Like what would you do if you did meet Mr. Right? or Mr. True Love? Would you do anything to make that life happen? Would you be willing to leave those that disapprove?

I do hope you find a win-win solution.

I wasnt on chat when you were there. Here just my comments to your blog.

I you want to know more from my own experiences, pm !

I suppose I'm the eldest in GA (born 1929). I'm bi and knew it since I was 14. I accepted it very soon and came out only to some chosen people.

I married at 23, had 4 children :2 still alive (53 and 46, the youngest who is gay), a daughter who died 7 years ago (AIDS) and my eldest son who died 2 years ago, (heart attack, smoking too much).I'm still with my wife, who also accepted me as I am and we are both happy to be together.

Till a few years ago, I lived happily two lifes (an open one, straight, and a more hiden one, gay, with a few friends). Looking back the last 57 years, I dont regret anything and all my memories are happy ones, even the bad times I had sometimes to endure.

My only advice : know who you are, accept it and enjoy your life, all your life, the good and the bad days.

Old bob

I think that Old Bob's advice is the best you can get. Work on yourself, on discovering who you truly are. Then you will be able to make a more rational decision about what you are to do, and be true to your family/friends when explaining that decision.

Like Bob's, my wife accepted me as I was. I chose to stay faithful to her because it suited my situation, my needs, and my personality. But I can understand that others made different decisions, or that life took them in another direction.

You don't have to come out of the closet to everyone ; you might just get away with opening the door slightly. But if at all possible do not build your love life and your family life upon a pile of lies.