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The approach of death

old bob

Entry posted by old bob

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It's strange how the feeling of the approach of my own death, coming from the last events about my cancer, gave me a feeling of contentment and satisfaction. I felt relieved to know where I am.

In six months, the next check up will tell me if I'm still in remission or if I should undertake a series of long-term treatments. My docs told me that this could take many years, with the current advances in medicine.

At worst, I still have at least 10 years before me, unless an accident (heart attack or car accident) does not come prematurely change my destiny. 10 years, this means that I would reach a ripe old age of 92 years !

God knows what may yet happen in 10 years. I just hope I'll always have my head on my shoulders, with all my mental faculties, even if I may be walking with crutches.

 

Anyway, I must put some order in my business. I'm still active, but my family should know what to do if I become incapable of understanding or if I disappear. Since a few days, I began to classify all my files, to write specific instructions, to prepare a variety of documents to be signed by my wife and my sons. I only regret not having started earlier this work. What a pleasure to be in order, to know that everything is planned for my departure.

Preparing for the future is also an opportunity to take stock of my past, to remember all the circonstances which led me to where I am, the head of an happy family, enjoying my life day by day, without fear of future.

 

Life has been good to me. I went through all the difficulties of the past with optimism and I was right. In conclusion, despite my mistakes, I never succumbed to despair and I was rewarded. Even the deaths of two of my children and the difficult times I experienced then never did me make to lose my courage.

 

Young for ever is still my motto, for today and for all the happy years to come.

 

Live is not "to wait to the next death". It is to pluck the day.... and it's what I really intend to do, with friends, with family, also walking alone in a crowd of unknown people, trying to guess how many gays are around me, giving hope to the wetchs though my smiles and enjoying the weather (even if it rains !) the nature and the nice small streets of my home town. What I also enjoy, is making bills for my advices to my small tribe of old clients . I dont despise the money and the pleasures it brings by spending it, for me and for others:great:.

(I edited the last phrases as an answer to Marzipan's comment)

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Marzipan

Marzipan 963

Posted

:hug: Bob. It is good to hear you feel satisfaction in prepairing, but remember that life isn't just about waiting for the death to knock on the door. However, I think you already know that, you wise, wise forever young man.

 

I want you around in my GA family for a long long time.

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Trebs

Trebs 1,132

Posted

"pluck the day" - loving that phrase... SO much better than seize that while good, always seemed a little too militaristic. Love the imagery of each day being a ripe piece of juicy fruit.

 

Outlook is everything in life - and you've always had a great one. Hope all goes well medically and echo Marzipan that we expect you to be around GA a long long time :-)

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Cia

Cia 59,363

Posted

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Hmm... your blogs always make me think and usually leave me with a bit of peace in my mind when I'm done as well. Because I had a scare with a fatality car accident and I have kids I made sure I have done things like talk to my family about my wishes and made a living will, stuff such as that. It's early doing it in my 20s but I always want my family to be on the same page I am if, lords forbid, I am every forced to leave them before I'm ready. Life is a path, sometimes it divurges from where we think it's going. It's always good to be prepared. I truly hope to never outlive my children or have truly bad events happen in my life but you are a sterling example of the power to overcome and not lose yourself in the process. Thanks for the reminder, again.

MikeL

MikeL 2,841

Posted

Bob, you are wise and philosophical and you are applying great wisdom to the inevitability of life. Facing a situation similar to yours, I hope you are always around when I need encouragement. Let's make the most of our last ten years. To paraphrase your words, let's be thankful for every day regardless of the weather.

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old bob

old bob 321

Posted

..... Facing a situation similar to yours, I hope you are always around when I need encouragement. ...

Mike, you know you can count on my support. Dont hesitate to call when needed .

BTW, I'm more than 13 years older than you. I'm sure I will be the first of us two to leave :D.

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Bleu

Bleu 535

Posted

Bob, thanks for your blog posts.

 

I have very much recovered, now, from a tragedy which taught me to keep the same kind of outlook on life that you seem to always have. It's not easy every day, but I manage it most of the time. Thanks for providing such a model of optimism :)

MikeL

MikeL 2,841

Posted

..... Facing a situation similar to yours, I hope you are always around when I need encouragement. ...

Mike, you know you can count on my support. Dont hesitate to call when needed .

BTW, I'm more than 13 years older than you. I'm sure I will be the first of us two to leave :D.

 

Thanks, Bob. I'm not so sure you will leave first. At your age, you may suffer some other disease or accident as you said, but as for prostate cancer, I was told about six months ago that my life expectancy then was about ten years. (In April 1998, I was told I had five years.) I don't know what treatment you are currently getting, if any. I started on the three widely used hormone treatments (Lupron, Zoladex, and Degerelix) in July 2007. I have now been through all three and went back to the beginning of the rotation (Lupron) in October 2010. So, I may be ahead of you in the long parade of treatments.

 

In any event, I hope you will continue to feel well and have a long life. La'chaim!

old bob

old bob 321

Posted

La'chaim to you my friend !

 

Our glasses should be filled with the best French Champagne, sparkling and breezy....

 

 

 

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