The job is ugly, my numbers don't see any light at the end of the tunnel if we keep this up. I am awaiting a Board meeting to make a presentation of my findings and hope some of our outside directors can see the inherent flaws in internal management. Heck, even portions of senior management are siding with me (partially to save their own asses, sad but true).

Outside of work...I have just found my new favorite gay movie: From Beginning to End

http://youtu.be/BH6vtx3HVB8

This movie was fascinating and deeply touching. The guys had great chemistry and the story of two brothers that grow up together into lovers makes this movie.

Now comes the strange part, beyond me liking a movie about gay incestuous brothers (would be better if they were named Sam and Dean Winchester, but one step at a time), if I use my cold logical brain to watch this movie, it simply does not work. I doubt South Americans would allow such a taboo relationship to continue or even progress into full blown love. There are so many things about their love that is way too perfect, it's almost divinely manufactured or plot holes waiting to happen.

Yet, I won't lie a part of me still believes in love, despite being single for the last year.

I have been as of late lonely, unhappy, and probably somewhere between depression and apathy. Work probably triggered part of these issues into the surface, but the lack of companionship doesn't make life better.

I once said that I keep my mind and heart very separate, because I don't trust my heart to make the tough choices in life and I don't trust my mind to make the leap of faith. I want to believe in perfect love, but rationally, I can't see it ever being so perfect.