“Don’t they look good together?” he chuckled to me.

I peeped over his shoulder, realizing how much I didn’t want him to be right. I watched as he held her hand, overwhelmed with the feeling to be in her place. I knew that it could never happen, but I didn't understand why I couldn’t have "that." I didn’t want him to be right. I didn’t want to believe him.

“Yeah, they look super cute together” I replied with hesitation. I didn’t understand why my heart and my mind were never in sync. I didn’t know why I blurted out those words, because I knew it was another lie.

“They look super cute together” I laughed with him.

stop.

“Don’t they? I think he looks perfect with her” he chuckled

stop.

“Yeah, watch them get married in a few years.” I laughed.

Please stop.

I sat there and laughed with him, holding back the pins and needles in my heart.

I excused myself to class, and as packed up my things to leave: I glanced back and saw how happy they were. I couldn’t stop lying to myself. I wanted to cry, if only. If only the things people said about me were true. If only I was as beautiful as they say. If only I was as desirable as they see. If only I felt like what they say I am. I couldn't in that moment. But I believed in one thing for sure, that him and I were never going to be together.