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The unfinished masses



I found myself organizing today, somewhere in between all the edits on my final project and the frustrating realization that I needed some help or advice from my teacher before I proceeded any further, which, incidentally, had me at that place somewhere between tears and puking my guts out, when the heart is racing and everything seems to be going a little too fast to be real. Anyway, in an effort to calm down and not freak out, since of course it just HAD to be raining outside, so you know, going for a walk was out of the question, it's too damned cold to get wet out there on a night like tonight, I started sorting through old journals and pieces of writing, looking at all the things I've started but never finished, ideas that were outlined but never got off the ground, character creations that fizzled before the story even began. As I looked, I was reminded that somewhere in that pile, I had a notebook filled with ideas, and progress and thoughts on them that was supposed to help me pick my next project to work on, a novel concept, if I could have stuck to it, but somehow, I always ended up in some other direction, hijacked by my muse and leaving all those other projects behind. My roomie is forever telling me that lack of organization means you’re a more creative person, and I’m forever telling her that lack of organization leaves me wanting to either pull my hair out or gouge my eyes out, depending on the day. All in all, I found myself sitting here at near 4 in the morning, a new chapter of my story finished and ready to be proofread and edited, thinking that while I wait on some (hopefully) divine intervention from my teacher, I should look more carefully at all those notebooks, and give some serious thought to whether or not there’s anything in the pile that can actually be saved. I asked my cat’s opinion, he’s a wise Ginger Tom with the sweetest disposition in the world, and he sort of purred and curled up, nudging my hand in that way that suggests either write something or pet me, damnit. So here it is, my first blog. Joining up here at GA has done wonders for my creative process, and who knows, maybe things will finally get finished.


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