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Personality Flaws


So, in my life I've realized that there are two major personality flaws about me- I can be incredibly self-absorbed to the point where I say things without really thinking about how other people will take it, and I'm quick to assume things.

 

I try to be on guard for those traits, especially the self-absorption bit. When I was a teenager and early twentysomething, I got constantly called on the fact that I talk too much and that I'd "hijack" every conversation and bring it back to myself. I get that I'm an pretty annoying person in that regard, but I've felt like when I'm having personal, one-on-one interactions with people, I try hard to listen to and react to what the other person is saying. I once got told that I'm "too quiet" by someone, and that's honestly because I feel like when I start talking, it's almost impossible for me to shut up.

 

I'm not sure why I am this way, but it's been that way for as long as I can remember. I think my self-absorption comes from not having any real friends while I was growing up. That's my guess, in any event.

 

So I'm bringing this up because a poster at a discussion board I post at basically got at me about how I make all these self-absorbed postings, hijack every damn thread, etc etc. I was shocked, because I felt like I hadn't been nearly as bad about this as I have been in the past, though I suppose I must have been oblivious in that regard. (That's another flaw that feeds into my self-absorption.) I remember when I was contantly battling with the group's owner, to the point where he kicked me out several times while I left the group several times, and I got what the problem was- I wrote a lot of antagonistic posts and the like. But now, I'm not trying in any way to piss people off, and it seems like I still do it.

 

I don't plan on leaving the group, but I do feel much more self-cautious about posting there, and I want to take at least a few days off from posting there. When I got called on shitty behavior there, that was one thing, but it felt like I was getting called on behavior that I honestly can't help, and honestly wasn't trying to antagonize peope with.

 

I do feel pretty down about it, though. I feel like I've been getting this criticism for 15 years, and as much as I've tried to change that about myself, it doesn't seem like something that I can change. I guess all I can do is channel it into posts either here or at my Twitter/Facebook instead.

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Y_B

Posted

yeah like when jwolf was still posting that new story of his and updating his forum, you somehow managed to take everything in and around the story and write these dissertations about how what you read reminded you of your life and you'd go off on tangents talking about you and Maryland College or whatever bullshit school you went to :P

 

I mean...you can do whatever you want...but just saying since you're bringing it up yourself...but the most interesting part about it isn't quite the fact that you like to voluntarily manifest your scattered autobio into whatever crevice of cyberspace you can find but that you write as if you're wine in the goblet of jesus when the content of what you provide suggests that you're really more a glass of water...just saying.... 

methodwriter85

Posted

    And I think that's a pretty fair criticism- it's not meant to come off as me thinking I'm the shit, but I can see why it'd come off that way.

 

    I do that because I like to relate to the story, and what it reminds me about my own experience. Not that my experience is anything particularly special, but I like feeling like I have some kind of common ground with the author's experiences.

 

    The other thing is that I'm fascinated by people's life stories- the common people story- and I figure by sharing my story in the context of being a regular college kid from the mid-2000's/late 2000's, I'd get other people to share their stories about their lives.

methodwriter85

Posted

when the content of what you provide suggests that you're really more a glass of water...just saying....

 

Hey, dude, I think I at least deserve to be a bottle of Dasani water.;-)

 

I'd rank you as a nice hot cup of green tea. LOL.

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Mark Arbour

Posted

yeah like when jwolf was still posting that new story of his and updating his forum, you somehow managed to take everything in and around the story and write these dissertations about how what you read reminded you of your life and you'd go off on tangents talking about you and Maryland College or whatever bullshit school you went to :P

 

I mean...you can do whatever you want...but just saying since you're bringing it up yourself...but the most interesting part about it isn't quite the fact that you like to voluntarily manifest your scattered autobio into whatever crevice of cyberspace you can find but that you write as if you're wine in the goblet of jesus when the content of what you provide suggests that you're really more a glass of water...just saying.... 

 

Alright, here's the deal.  So basically Adam Phillips and I made Jeremy our bitch, and that means nobody gets to pick on him except us.  And Sharon, because everyone's afraid of her.  And maybe Jwolf, because Jeremy's got a major hardon for that dude.  :-)  But that's it.  So back off.  (SMILE)

Paradise

Posted

I'm not sure how to respond to this.  Part of me is torn because I'm opinionated...the other part because I know the gay community.  Do you want honesty? Or would you prefer a sheltered view?

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Y_B

Posted

Alright, here's the deal.  So basically Adam Phillips and I made Jeremy our bitch, and that means nobody gets to pick on him except us.  And Sharon, because everyone's afraid of her.  And maybe Jwolf, because Jeremy's got a major hardon for that dude.  :-)  But that's it.  So back off.  (SMILE)

 

And who are you?

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Y_B

Posted

oh I take no participation in the kind of "pick on" you refer to that implies a sort of camaraderie involved. (Smile)

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Mark Arbour

Posted

And who are you?

Just some dude that hangs out here every once in awhile.  

  • Like 1

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