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My Unboyfriend


When I first met you I knew you were special. I can still see your dirty blond hair, your warm hazel eyes, and your silly goofy smile. Being around you made me tingle. When I was with you I was exactly where I was supposed to be. You made me feel alive.

 

I remember our playful banter. I remember the smile you gave me when you saw me. I remember looking off the railing while we were together. The feeling of absolute happiness and joy I felt when you hugged me from behind and we just stayed there in silence. I remember the way you made me absolutely crazy. When I tried to make you see that I was hopelessly in love with you you pulled away. When I told myself I was going to move on you didn't let me. I remember you sitting on my doorstep when I came back from a date and the look you gave me.

 

I will remember how you kissed me. I was sitting and you came up behind me and tilted my head back and smiled as you kissed me. Inside I was sure that I would never let you go. I still keep that memory with me. You broke my heart. You didn't feel as strongly for me and deep down I knew it. When you said goodbye I held myself together and acted like everything was fine even though I was screaming inside.

 

I tried for a long time to get over you. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to find out you weren't so great after all. But I never did. I didn't get over you. I don't think I will ever get over you. I don't think I want to. I will keep you deep inside my heart. The emotions I felt for you were never lukewarm. I was never really yours, but you were mine. You were my first love. You were my favorite person. You were my friend. You were my unboyfriend.

  • Like 10

5 Comments


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Zombie

Posted

The pain of unrequited love :(

  • Like 1
Mark92

Posted

Sorry man that must hurt :(

  • Like 1
JamesSavik

Posted

been there, done that, threw away the t-shirt.

  • Like 1
Emi GS

Posted

I experienced the same feeling and same emotions you felt. It is the same story with my Unboyfriend too... But I have seen something that has become a strong pillar to me from my emotional trauma. But the case is always alike. I still feel the pain, and I still feel love. But he left me there alone.

 

He was my friend. He was my favorite person. He was my first Love. He was my Unboyfriend.....

  • Like 1
Lisa

Posted

And the same story with my Unhusband. Left me there all alone with our three kids. He was my best friend. Now I hate him.

 

You write so beautifully, Rich, and your emotions are so strong. Reading this got me all choked up.

 

I'm so sorry you have an Unboyfriend. I know what it's like to not want to let go, but you have to. You'll never find anyone else unless you let him go.

 

In your next blog entry I want to hear about your new Onboyfriend. :)

  • Like 1

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