If you think I was gushing in the last story, this one will shock you on how critical I can be

Title: Finding Family

Setting: Rural/College, Carterville, NC and Adam State University

Plot Overview: Parker Arnold is a high school History Teacher and soccer coach, who tries to help his students both as a mentor and also as a father figure. This story revolves around his life, his trials and tribulations, and his relationships with students. It is worth reading and understanding for the overall plots in the story.

Character/relationships

Jeff had probably fell into the "rescue" kid syndrome, when he was writing this story, I'll do my best to add important characters.

Bishop "Parker" Arnold- He's a complex character and one that deserves a good deal of thought provoking questions. I do not know if he should be an ideal or a case scenario like Bill W.'s main character of Castaway Hotel. I understand why he polarized some readers and why he is also loved by so many. For modern gay readers, I know Sardusky's crimes are still a recent memory, but if you read past the first 10 chapters, you will realize that Parker is not that kind of character. He is self-conscious, which Jeff has always endowed in his primary father figure characters in all his stories. That's the part of gay characters that must always be remembered (and why I am so harsh towards Nifty's recent strings of authors), while sexual fantasies are great, your characters must have some doubt as to what they are doing. Characters are not toys or pawns on a chess board, they exist as real living people in your fictional worlds and should be treated with respect. His relationship with Karl Henson in my view was dynamic, maybe not as dynamic as Andy and CZ were, but they did develop a complex growth from teacher/student to equal partners in later chapters. Maybe Jeff pushed it on this story for a high school teacher to fall for his student, but in terms of story and character, it works.

Now as for his "rescues", I've read Brew Maxwell enough to know how those work and I think Jeff's rescues were handled decently, but I felt it kind of detracted from the character more than helped him. Some of the rescue scenarios were good and poignant like Isaac South's rescue from a meth dealing/kid molesting father or the rescue of Bart from an overzealous Mormon family (Yeah, caricature characters, but that's what makes the genre fun, plus they're not that far from reality sadly). Other rescues by Parker felt tacked on, like Nacio, who was rarely mentioned again.

A warning for all writers in this genre, don't over do it; there are good stories to tell involving rescuing gay teens, but don't feel like you need to keep doing it to maintain a quota.

Karl Henson- He is an example of immature love with a mature gay man; the exact opposite of Andy and CZ. He will eventually become a better human being and someone Parker can honestly form a good relationship with, but at times, I felt like smacking him for being so stupid. However, as the story goes on, the character opens up new areas of issues for gay rights, which I find provocative, but also troubling. He joins West Point and becomes a military cadet, but faces betrayal and dishonor by the very people he wanted to serve and work with. Jeff was trying to expand his "Soapbox" into a political commentary here, I get that and appreciate the idea. I also like how the "trauma" figures into his reconciliation and re-establishment of love for Parker as an equal partner. He's also one of the most developed redemptive characters I've noticed in Jeff's stories

TJ Ladd- I love this character as a gay teen and as a gay man, I think he really does become a well rounded character over time. He and his straight brother, Ryan, are examples of a well prepared "rescue" story arc (Though Ryan has other character issues, I will get into later). A mother abandoning her kids is not new to anyone, but I like how the tension grew between TJ and his mother and how evil she was. I also like how Parker took him into his home and protected him; though, I would have to be a little less sympathetic to the entire helping him out "sex" angle, earlier in the story before he moved in, but as I said, Parker, and Jeff himself, was conscious enough to put a stop to it as his story got into gear. Eventually TJ will end up with his best high school friend Donnie, a complex character I cannot help but praise.

Donnie Micheaux- I think if for no other reason, this character is someone you should go into the story for. Jeff has a way with minority characters and African American characters are by far the most intriguing, especially if they are latent gay men. Donnie ended up married to a white woman, he got pregnant and had two sons. His life was miserable for a while, but Parker helped Donnie out by offerring him a loan to start his own auto business. Eventually, he realizes that he had always loved TJ, but he could never come to terms with his own sexuality. At a time, when black gay characters were fairly rare, Jeff took a good pot shot and created a very dynamic one.

Trey Arnold- He is Parker's nephew, who becomes his ward after Parker's brother Deuce dies. I love this character, but I also wish he had more development with his relationship to Brian Barnes (From Love of a Lifetime). I think he is an interesting and well rounded person, but what he lacks is a strong dynamic push. The character lacks evolutionary development, but it's to be expected, when you don't have that much sex in Jeff's stories until the last three chapters

Ryan Ladd- If Jeff ever reads this, I hope he doesn't think I am being harsh on him, but I really dislike this character. I think Jeff handled his straight characters well in Love of a Lifetime, especially Justin Barnes who I'd consider straight and "curious", but Ryan was far too overly sentimental and at various points, I just couldn't believe he was completely heterosexual (Justin at least had a reason for his underlying bi-curiosity and in certain ways he was a good "temptation" character for "CZ" that actually worked well). Maybe the key problem with this character versus Justin Barnes was that he needed to be protected constantly in the story whereas Justin was the protector. Also, unlike Justin, he lacked character development in his heterosexual relations other than a few mentions of the stud on campus I understand what Jeff wanted to do in inverting his characters, but I just don't feel it worked from my view.

Supporting Characters

Robert Marquez- Ex Pro-NBA Hispanic player for the Chicago Bulls, who is secretly a gay man. I like that Jeff attempted to add a little more depth into his story by re-introducing the prospects of a retired gay athlete, but his story seemed underdeveloped at the end, serving merely as "temptation" for Parker to get over Karl's betrayal. I like the idea and the racial diversity that it brought, but Donnie Micheaux was a far better character in this story for that purpose.

Tyronne- Robert's son, who dated Isaac for a while and ended up in a fling of wild sex with other partners. I don't know if Jeff was trying to point out inherent flaws with promiscuity or if the character was deeply flawed due to his wealth and upbringing. There was no real evolution to this character either, so just like his father, another untapped potential.

Memorable Rescues

Isaac South- If anyone remember Justin Davis from Brew Maxwell's Foley Mashburn Saga, Isaac could be his non-related cousin Honestly, I love the story line and the slow build up in intensity for this rescue. It felt right and it matched up with the deeply rooted Meth production issues in the South at the time, not to mention the child sex trafficking. Jeff would use this character along with a few others in his side story "Construction Job", which is a decent read, too.

Brandon Harris- An interesting scenario, he was not being trapped by abusive parents at least currently, but he was being held captive by his own fears and memories. An ex-Army veteran, who lost his lover in Iraq, resonates with modern gay audiences even now as we are reeling from that war to this day. I am glad he found a partner in Josh.

Bart Harris- A cross-Continental rescue worthy of another series from this era, all it's missing is a transporter and some phasers Beyond that, Bart Harris is an interesting character, he's Brandon's little brother and a gay kid in fear of his life due to the Mormon religion. Through the effort of Parker's friends Robert, he was rescued from "evil" Salt Lake, Utah to Carterville, NC. Highly implausible, but it is a great story arc that shows how far Jeff could stretch himself. He hooks up with Isaac south as his partner.

Johnathan/Wes- Twins separated at birth, Jeff don't go to Soap opera territory...wait they're also a couple Yes, it's really implausible and complex in a not so good way. I think the couple is memorable though and I do love the idea of twincest , but this couple also showed that Jeff really got sidelined by the shift in story genres during this period of gay fiction. I like them for all the wrong reasons, which as a reader is both good and bad.

Josh- Hmm...I don't know, he's memorable because of all the plot that surrounds him, but the character is two dimensional. Again, I like the rescue genre, but some characters need more focus and Josh definitely was one of them. Jeff could have explored Josh's determination to find his mother's killer, by extension, add some conflict into this story, but Josh's character was under-utilized despite a lot of plot developments like his relationship to Brandon, his protection by Parker due to fears about his life, and a potential danger to the other gay kids in Parker's care. I think Josh should have been Jeff's gravitas to final chapters, but he was not.

Finally, everyone else, we got cameos from When Love Comes and Love of a Lifetime, including the Barnes Brothers Brian was the only one really highlighted, briefly, but his evolution from gay boyfriend swapper to lover was a nice touch that launched us into "Three Voices", could have been stronger, but it was a nice addition.

Theme

Teacher-Student Relationships- Jeff took this one on again, but this time, he did it in high school. I will grant that it was consensual and it was hot. I also think Jeff's detractors got him wrong here, the immaturity of many characters made it hard for any of them to establish real partnerships in this story, which is realistic to life. It is only when they face life altering situation like Karl at West Point that they actually begin to understand how love is created. This was actually a well written area of the story.

Rescues- Ugh, I have already said a lot at the top, but I will just repeat that extraneous rescues hurt a story, not improve it. While it might have pleased a fan base that hungered for those kinds of stories, you must balance the demands of plot with it. Jeff experimented with this style of writing, it was fun and memorable for a few cases, but some of them just caused problems with the plot and character development.

Family- I've read a lot of gay family stories and helped write a few, too. Jeff did a good job here, he made perfect use of diverse characters and their backgrounds for the development of an ensemble cast. However, the issue of the continuous and gratuitous rescues made it hard to focus on any pre-established characters. What was worst was the lack of development meant we had stunted characters like Ryan Ladd running around. Jeff tried to make corrective writing moves on it and I can tell he was trying to balance his demands with his plot, which in the end at least got the family together.

This part of the story is what can be considered an idealistic fantasy that every gay kid in the world could join into a family that accepts them and protects them. The sex is appealing with your "brothers" who may be partners eventually, but it's the heart that counts. Is this a good idea for modern audiences? I don't know, it appears to be a little too haphazard legally, too perfect for a story plot, and too implausible for acceptance. If I remove the extraneous issues from the rescue stories though and the potential psychological attachment problems, I think Jeff actually did the right thing here with family development if he had focused soley on that aspect.

Story Review:

After reading what I wrote, I think most people would understand why I felt this story was the weakest in the 4 I am reviewing. Don't get me wrong, I like the things Jeff attempted here and he succeeded in a lot of areas, but in terms of plot and structure, he lost a lot of steam from Love of a Lifetime. I still like what he wrote and what the story ultimately comes down to.

A cardinal rule few writers observe, I do it too, is that stories need to be planned in your head before you write. A stream of consciousness story is fine, but structured fiction needs preparation. At various points in the story, I felt Jeff rushed or could not focus on where needed to be and left things hanging.

No amount of sex or wild rescue scenarios will make a difference after a long period of time. Jeff's stories were classic, because he brought the characters out as human beings, not 2-d cut outs. His first two stories were amazing and prescient, but I fear Jeff nearly derailed his own story with excess. It's also why I think his next stories were so short and focused. It's too bad too, Jeff had a good baseline for a story, a controversial reversal of his earlier elements, and a potentially death defying plot line if he pushed it. I hope if he writes again, he will try to write a long story and focus on the plots that bind everyone together.

I also want to note that around this time Bill W.'s Castaway Hotel began to come out on Nifty and several other stories of similar style appeared. Gay readers were clamoring for this, so I don't think Jeff knew how uneven his story became.

I still like this, but it is a far cry from his earlier work.

I give this:

7.5/10

Sad, I know he can do better and part of the blame belongs to readers like me

Tomorrow will be my final review in the series, it is a tearjerker, but at least, I think Jeff was back to form

Story Link:
http://www.crvboy.org/stories/jeffallen/s005/c01.html