Hi Everyone So i haven't updated this in a while so I thought I would.

Life is going very well - I'm about to finish my Masters, just achieved an Associate Fellowship of a national teaching organisation (and have been asked to apply for full fellowship) and i'm sort of seeing a nguy - not sure what will happen with him, but we shall see. Keep you posted

But that's not the purpose of this blog. So I am currently volunteering as a director for a local theatre company and I wanted some advice.

I to the best of my ability try to avoid conflict because I just don't like it. I have a co-director and she also hates conflict, so that doesn't help. She is going through some mental health issues at the moment, as she normally handles the drama, I can't put that on her at the moment.

We all signed a piece of paper stating our responsibilities, because I don't have time to be marketing a show or stage managing a show. I did that all with our most recent show and it was far too much for me, especially when working alot, which I will be doing from this month. I also did this to protect myself legally because I know he breaks the law frequently - and therefore I am indemnified from all legal responsibility (I was clever when I wrote it )

So here is my problem. I spoke to a girl who i know makes costumes, and asked if she would be interested in making some costumes for our production of Peter Pan. She brought in some work she'd made and I thought it was wonderful so I said we can approach the artistic director to ask if he could add some funds to the produciton so she could purchase fabric to make select costumes.

I also said to the regular costume lady that we won't need her help with this show, as we are asking the cast to source their own costumes - so she can focus on the other shows (as they have two shows in November, and one in October).

Now i'm not sure if she took this the wrong way, because when the girl approached the artistic director he turned around and said 'That's not John's decision to make, it's a production decision, which has to involve the whole production team.' Now, that's my problem. I did consult my production team and we do have specific slots that we talk in (Mondays at 8.3) FYI) about production issues. He doesn't realise that he's not a member of the production team - and I did discuss with them.

It just seems whenever I try and do things for productions, He instantly says 'Oh it's John's idea I should say no.' Also, he hates creative ideas. For example, our Peter Pan is going to be very very different from the tradition. Hook is a woman, Peter is a Girl, Michael is a girl. The pirates are the Government, The Lost Girls are the Street Urchins and it's the Urchins overthrowing the Government of The City of Neverland. Very original, very different. And I already know that he's going to hate every second of it because it's not a traditional boring adaptation of a show. I'm sorry, I hate doing what is expected, it's not me as a director.

In my work, I rejuvenate existing work into a context of the subliminal, grotesque and chaotic world we live in. <- Bit of an extract fro my Artist Statement for you there

I'm just fed of the he said, she said environment that he produces. I've had every member of my cast from the most recent show saying that this show has been the most relaxed and fun environment of any of the shows that they have done. Which is exactly what you need to do in community work - make it fun, but also keep it serious about the work - which I know I achieved.

One other thing that upset me, was that he didn't bother to turn up to the opening night of our most recent production. And also, he openly stated in front of several people that for the performance he turned up to: 'Well the pressure's much more on now because I'm here, I must give them a bit of a boost.' Oh and also at the very start of our rehearsal process he in no uncertain terms said 'We take too many breaks and you don't get enough done in your rehearsals.' and continued to talk. At this point, I essentially said to him 'How dare you. I'm insulted that you think that we piss about in our rehearsals, you were at ONE rehearsal where it was our first one. We wouldn't take that many breaks normally, and if you don't like how I work then fire me.' I just wasn't having him insulting me or my cast. I draw the line there.

All of these things, I dont understand why he does them. And i'd love to know is it something I did? something I said? What did I do to deserve such horridness? I'm nice to everyone, I try to keep a good rehearsal

I just wanted to share the air on this because I just think his behaviour is simply horrid and I don't understand why he is like it.

We are all there to make good theatre, but he just seems so stuck that it has to be the him show all of the time and if he's not taking the credit then it's not right. Example: There was an article in the newspaper, and I didn't get mentioned more than once. It was all about my co-director because he hadn't directed before and about how this guy helped him throughout the process. He was at one rehearsal at the start! It's just upsetting because i NEVER get recognised for the work that I do for this organisation.

I so wish I could drop out of this company now because i'm unhappy doing work with them. It's not the cast I work with. I adore working with my casts that I choose. It's the ego and the nastiness of some people that ruin my hobby/professional work, and that isn't right.

Sorry to have a massive rant, I'm just fed up of his narcissism.

In other good news, I have the rights for an English premiere of a play and also am gathering a cast for a summer production of Note Dame de Paris by Victor Hugo. I'm also now an Elementary School Drama Teacher

So life is good at the moment - it's just the drama with my extra-curricular stuff that makes it not good. But after December that all changes.