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My thought process and the deleted Blog Entry


Warning.....Rant Ahead

 

Ok, the first thing i want to say is that I had a completely different entry written and even posted but not published. I deleted it because I didn't want to cause any trouble and hurt anyones feelings. I guess that's how I am. I have a lot to be angry about (in my mind) but I don't want to express all of it because I don't want to cause problems for everyone else.....if I can't handle whatever it was I made my deleted entry about, I can always stop coming here and ask Myr to delete my user name.

What's so sad to me is that my last post was actually a warning for a lot of people who I'm worried about. I can see something happening that I'm not sure they see themselves, and I don't think it's right for me to just sit here and stay quiet. But, since it's mostly none of my business(except when I'm involved involuntarily) I'll just shut up now.

The reason I'm making this post is because I can't sleep. The problem has been on my mind for a few days and I hate that I'm letting it bug me. Unfortunately, I can't get rid of the sick feeling in my gut because i feel like a coward for not having the balls to publish what I wrote in the first place. I'm just nervous that if i did, people would decide to either

 

A.) Flame me and say I'm being silly. Or...

 

B.) Leave because of my entry. Or.....

 

C.) the GAC's could ban me .

 

 

I'm not trying to have any of that happen, so I'll just vent a little here and let it go. Maybe i'm just a little nervous because I'm starting my first job tomorrow at 4:45. I'm really excited about ot, but I'm also worried that I might not do good. I guess I can't actually do bad, and it's not like I'm getting paid from my employer. I'll be working for tips as a bagger :)

I think what I'm most worried about about is that I wont be able to handle working and keeping my grades up. My dad already said that if my GPA falls even one one hundredth of a percent, I'll have to quit. So, there's the added pressure of letting him down. I just wonder what's going to happen.

I can remember when I first started this year and I had triple the homeowrk I had in middle school and I was staying up until one in the morning sometimes to finish it. Now it seems like I have even more homeowrk, but I'm getting it done in just a couple of hours and I figured out that I can get some of that done at school if I spend less time socializing and more time doing my homework at school since we actually get time to do that in most of my classes.

Of course, that also leaves me with another problem.......my social life. It's not like I do much during the week, but I'm always out doing something with Taylor and some of our friends on Friday night and Saturday night. I guess that since the commissarry closes at 9 I can get home and still have time to go out, but it wont be the same. If it were a regular grocery store, maybe my friends could come hang out with me there like we do with my buddy Steven who works at Farm Fresh. Ugh. I better stop and try to get a little more sleep before I have to get up. It's like 4:25 and I have to be up in an hour.

Okay, if you read this, I'm sorry i went off like I did. I'm just stressed out and I've had a lot om my mind

 

 

Kisses

Nick

10 Comments


Recommended Comments

Camy

Posted

I only know you through your writing, which I think is good btw.

 

You sound really stressed, and life is honestly too short for stress (Ha! I'm a fine one to talk).

 

I promised myself that If I wrote a blog entry I would never delete it. You should do the same. They are part and parcel of who we are. Several times I've read stuff back and cringed, finger hovering over the delete button... Does it really matter?

 

If you can get away with awful ranting anywhere It's probably here. This is one cool community.

 

so erm, yeah. Chill.

 

Good luck with your job too.

 

Camy B)

Tim the Traveller

Posted

Hey Nick. Sounds like you need some stress relief.

 

Since I have no clue about the situation you speak of, All I will say is this. Whenever I think something I have to say may irritate people, I Say it anyways. Keeping it inside only creates more problems, And besides, I'm always up for a good argument. It's really easy to ignore people who aren't worth your time of day, and speaking your mind is a good way to "thin out the herd". And remeber also, this is your blog. It's not my blog, It's not Myr's blog(ok so technically speaking it is Myr's), It's not Vic's blog, it's not Green & Chaz's blog, It is yours. If it offends you, then think twice about publishing it, but never because of what someone else may or may not think. But if it may get u banned from here, that is a hard one. I don't think I could handle that.

 

Oh, and your Dad's rule about you GPA staying that close on--is he nuts?!?! I had a 3.4 GPA my last year of HS, but it varied at times over quarters, And I think just about eveyone's does slightly, unless you are the kid with perfect school attendance and the resident butt-licker. Just my opinion though.

 

Have a good day Nick!! :D

Mark Arbour

Posted

Well, I've certainly vented extensively about the tight controls (or censorship) on posts in the GA forums, and it seems decidedly inconsistent with an agenda of tolerance to then turn around and make sure that nothing that could offend the varied sensitivities of our members can be posted. But, this is not my site, I am a visitor here, and I eventually caved to that realization and try to support Myr and his dream as best I can.

 

Myr has given us a wonderful forum to bitch and whine: our blogs. They aren't censored or screened, to my knowledge. I'd encourage you to say what you're thinking and be specific, but do it here. That way you can have your say, but in a forum that won't infect the rest of GA.

 

So what did you post that pissed someone off?

AFriendlyFace

Posted

Hey Nick :hug:

 

I'm so sorry, about whatever it is that's bothering you :( I think it's a good thing to be careful about hurting people's feelings, but I also know, as someone who has trouble speaking his mind when it might offend, that it can also cause problems and make you feel even worse/helpless/ignored. Perhaps you could try to communicate privately (PM or email or something) with these people and try to let them know how you feel in an inoffensive, nonthreatening way. Anyway I hope you feel better!

 

As for the job, good luck! First jobs are always very exciting, and a big adjustment. I didn't work at all in high school, but in college I've generally put in between 30-50 hours a week. It takes some getting used to. Good luck!

 

Have an awesome day, good luck with the job, and try to feel better :D

Kevin

Masked Monkey

Posted

:blink::huh::unsure: :wacko: :wub:

 

Love Ya Nickolas

 

:king: Snow Dog

NickolasJames8

Posted

I only know you through your writing, which I think is good btw.

 

You sound really stressed, and life is honestly too short for stress (Ha! I'm a fine one to talk).

 

I promised myself that If I wrote a blog entry I would never delete it. You should do the same. They are part and parcel of who we are. Several times I've read stuff back and cringed, finger hovering over the delete button... Does it really matter?

 

If you can get away with awful ranting anywhere It's probably here. This is one cool community.

 

so erm, yeah. Chill.

 

Good luck with your job too.

 

Camy B)

Thanks Camy...for someone in his late 90's, you're pretty cool :P:P:P

 

Seriously, though, I've relaxed...I think I was just stressed out over my job and some other stupid stuff that doesnt really mean anything when I stop to think about it. :)

 

 

Kisses

Nick

 

 

 

 

BTW, thanks for reading my stories0 :great:

NickolasJames8

Posted

Hey Nick. Sounds like you need some stress relief.

 

Since I have no clue about the situation you speak of, All I will say is this. Whenever I think something I have to say may irritate people, I Say it anyways. Keeping it inside only creates more problems, And besides, I'm always up for a good argument. It's really easy to ignore people who aren't worth your time of day, and speaking your mind is a good way to "thin out the herd". And remeber also, this is your blog. It's not my blog, It's not Myr's blog(ok so technically speaking it is Myr's), It's not Vic's blog, it's not Green & Chaz's blog, It is yours. If it offends you, then think twice about publishing it, but never because of what someone else may or may not think. But if it may get u banned from here, that is a hard one. I don't think I could handle that.

 

Oh, and your Dad's rule about you GPA staying that close on--is he nuts?!?! I had a 3.4 GPA my last year of HS, but it varied at times over quarters, And I think just about eveyone's does slightly, unless you are the kid with perfect school attendance and the resident butt-licker. Just my opinion though.

 

Have a good day Nick!! :D

:) thanks Tim...actually, I feel a lot better now, and as far as my dads rule, it's how he is.....I have to get straight A's or I'm in trouble..one time he let me have it for getting a B in conversational spanish(actually, it was for mouthing off to him when he was yelling at me about the B )

 

As for perfect attendance, thats not me...as for the last thing............ J/K

 

 

 

Kisses

Nick

NickolasJames8

Posted

Well, I've certainly vented extensively about the tight controls (or censorship) on posts in the GA forums, and it seems decidedly inconsistent with an agenda of tolerance to then turn around and make sure that nothing that could offend the varied sensitivities of our members can be posted. But, this is not my site, I am a visitor here, and I eventually caved to that realization and try to support Myr and his dream as best I can.

 

Myr has given us a wonderful forum to bitch and whine: our blogs. They aren't censored or screened, to my knowledge. I'd encourage you to say what you're thinking and be specific, but do it here. That way you can have your say, but in a forum that won't infect the rest of GA.

 

So what did you post that pissed someone off?

lol.....Actually, i never published it and i dont think anyone saw it (GAC's I mean). If they did, no one got mad, but I think they would have...anyway, it's all good now and I feel better.....except that I have a raw crotch :(:(

NickolasJames8

Posted

Hey Nick :hug:

 

I'm so sorry, about whatever it is that's bothering you :( I think it's a good thing to be careful about hurting people's feelings, but I also know, as someone who has trouble speaking his mind when it might offend, that it can also cause problems and make you feel even worse/helpless/ignored. Perhaps you could try to communicate privately (PM or email or something) with these people and try to let them know how you feel in an inoffensive, nonthreatening way. Anyway I hope you feel better!

 

As for the job, good luck! First jobs are always very exciting, and a big adjustment. I didn't work at all in high school, but in college I've generally put in between 30-50 hours a week. It takes some getting used to. Good luck!

 

Have an awesome day, good luck with the job, and try to feel better :D

Kevin

Hey Kevin,

 

 

Thanks for talking to me last night in chat. I really liked that and I think you're a totally cool guy and a good friend here on the forum. I made 38 bucks today :)

NickolasJames8

Posted

:blink::huh::unsure: :wacko: :wub:

 

Love Ya Nickolas

 

:king: Snow Dog

:wub::wub::wub: awwwwwwww.....ILY2 Snowy :wub::wub::wub:

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