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Fae Briona


Spoke with someone at work I'm close with, who had known about my relationship with C, and told her what had happened.  She offered to get in touch with his sister ("M") on Facebook -- as I don't have a Facebook account (or Instagram, or twitter, or....). She got a response.  M did see the flowers I had left for C when I visited his grave, which makes me...  well, not "happy" but pleased? They're waiting on a response from the VA on the headstone, and hope to hear back soon, though with the gov. shutdown I think that's optimistic.  Work friend just introduced me as someone who cared about him deeply, not as the man he'd been dating; she did pass on my private email address (with my permission), so I hope M does contact me at some point. She hasn't been doing well -- they were extremely close. It sounded from t he conversation that I was correct in thinking that she didn't know who I was. He was a very private person, and I don't think he talked to his family that much about his private life. He was out, but I know there was some baggage there from when he was younger that -- for him at least -- made things more complicated. So it doesn't surprise me that he would be short on details of his dating life.  This is the financial side of me, but I've also wondered in the last few days if she realized how much his Alberto Vargas print collection was worth.


A winter storm moved in on Thursday, which started Wed. night. Had the automatic though, "I should send C a txt telling him to drive home safe" -- then the moment of sharp pain when I realized I couldn't do that.  I know I mourn not just the loss of a friend, and a man I cared for very much; but the loss of my dreams for our future, my hopes of how things would work out, my longing for our first "private time" that was supposed to be next month....   Some of those hopes/dreams may never have materialized, but the loss is still there. The potential that is no longer. 💔

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Posted (edited)

Those automatic thoughts...not sure they ever stop entirely. In some ways that's a comfort, at least to me.

Your friend reaching out to M was very kind. I hope M does choose to contact you one day.  You sound a very practical person, in connection with the print collection. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just how our brains work.


Considering everything you've written about and said, you sound like you are doing okay ... coping. That doesn't mean you won't cry or be angry, or sad. To me it just sounds as if you are doing okay.

Edited by Mikiesboy
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tim hit the nail on the head... If anyone should know he is a great candidate... I lost mine late 70's early 80's and well everything tim said has happened...but on a firmer note, you can survive and be ok just sometimes things will remind you, and you reflect and cry and get sad but... It has helped keep him alive in me... 🤔😊😊 and hugs help also...😗😗

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