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Horrible Writing Advice


Horrible writing advice...

Heroes wear white. They ride on high white horses and have shiny plot armor. They are, of course, interesting because who wants to read about a bum, right? Heroes should be flawless role models because seeing them overcome their petty human experience is just plain boring.

Villains wear black. Their horses don't really like them. They don't get shiny plot armor because the writers guild demands it! They aren't very interesting because they're just plain old evil and no one really cares how they got that way. Furthermore, they always have henchmen or perhaps lackeys and are linked to shadowy nefarious plots.

Dynamic characters are passé. They confuse the reader, so we shouldn't use them despite, real people having to learn and grow. It confuses the reader when heroes make mistakes and do things that aren't heroic and might be considered dastardly, cowardly or just plain wrong. It's even worse when a villain does something to show virtue and integrity. This whole line of writing should be saved for litany fiction since nobody really reads that stuff.

Role Reversals- Everybody hates it in a story when the hero and the villain reverse roles. It's too complicated for the modern reader that has a 15-second attention span before they change the channel. Besides, the guy in the black hat saving the girl would be just plain un-American.

So remember: always write what's expected. You can't go wrong pandering to your audiences' shallowness and stupidity. Throw in some populist political ideology for good measure to prove you're woke and, you can't go wrong.

After all, it's worked so well for Kathleen Kennedy's Star Wars and the new Doctor Who.

 

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