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Betrayal


Betrayal exists and is one of a few things that can rip your heart to shreds. 

This past week has been probably the worst experience I've gone through in my life. 

The hardest part for me is the unequivocal fact that the betrayal came from someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally and vice versa. 

When unconditional love starts to impose conditions which are only beneficial to one person it's time to step back and reevaluate. Even if that person is a vital part of your family. 

Are there things I could have done differently? Things I could have said or not said? Probably. It's a lifetime of 'what ifs'.

Mental illness is real. It serves to disrupts the lives of those who it affects and those who know them. It's particularly hard on those who love them. It's a destroyer. It destroys relationships, it destroys dreams. It destroys hope. Worst of all, it destroys love. 

Yes, it can make people stronger and of course it can be managed. I have friends who have succeeded and done well even though they live with depression and anxiety and I'm so proud of them. 

But when mental illness is used as a crutch or a means to manipulate others it becomes a problem. Anyone living with someone who has mental health issues will tell you, that person is the only one who can decide to help themselves. When they refuse it wreaks havoc as this past week has shown me. 

Making the decision to go no contact with someone is difficult. I'm a fixer. I want to fix the problem, even if my attempts at fixing are rebuffed over and over again. But I had to face reality and cut ties in order to preserve my own mental health. I can no longer live with the constant lies, broken promises, and refusal to take accountability for one's actions. 

Am I okay? Absolutely not. Will I get through this? Absolutely. I don't know if the relationship will ever be repairable. Only time will tell. For now, I have to step back and let time pass. 

A few of you know the details and have bolstered me immensely these past few days. You know who you are. I can't thank you enough. 

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9 Comments


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Mikiesboy

Posted

i don't know what to say, only that I've seen some of what you speak of from the side of the person with the illness and from your side too. Wherever you are is hard.

i cut ties with my brother, my only family and it was hard and horrible but there was no other option. The door's been open, but he's never even knocked. i respect his choice, though it's sad.

i am sorry you're having to deal with this. i wish for you peace and continued strength. xo

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kbois

Posted

10 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

i don't know what to say, only that I've seen some of what you speak of from the side of the person with the illness and from your side too. Wherever you are is hard.

i cut ties with my brother, my only family and it was hard and horrible but there was no other option. The door's been open, but he's never even knocked. i respect his choice, though it's sad.

i am sorry you're having to deal with this. i wish for you peace and continued strength. xo

Just knowing that you understand brings me a sense of balance. You are one of the people I am proud of. You recognize your struggles and do the best you can to manage them. 

Thanks for supporting me and making a positive impact. ❤

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kbois

Posted

1 hour ago, spyke said:

I am sad that things got to this point and that this has happened to you. But you're 100% on point that when it is used as a crutch or a tool of manipulation, it's time to step back and remove yourself from the situation. Playing along wouldn't have benefited anyone and you have to do what is necessary to protect yourself. It has to be extremely tough for you, but you're strong and you will get through this.  Just know that there are many people that are sending you good thoughts and positive energy. 

Stay strong and take care.

Having members of this community such as you helps so much when I need a reminder of the positive and good things in my life. 

Thanks. 

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kbois

Posted

54 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

All I can say, I've said. But you don't need to hear more from me.

I am always willing to hear you. Reach out as and when you want or need to, Katie. 

Be patient and kind with yourself. 

You have no idea how much I appreciate your support. You are a safe place for me to seek out when I need it. A mere thank you seems inadequate, but I'll say it again anyway. 

Thank you. 

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  • Site Moderator
Reader1810

Posted

I’m sorry I missed this, k. I hope you’re doing better. 

:hug: 

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MichaelS36

Posted

All I can say, I've said. But you don't need to hear more from me.

I am always willing to hear you. Reach out as and when you want or need to. 

Be patient and kind with yourself.

  • Love 4
kbois

Posted

2 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

All I can say, I've said. But you don't need to hear more from me.

I am always willing to hear you. Reach out as and when you want or need to. 

Be patient and kind with yourself.

You have no idea how much I appreciate your support. You are a safe place for me to seek out when I need it. A mere thank you seems inadequate, but I'll say it again anyway. 

Thank you. (you're the best)

  • Love 4

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