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He held me.



After yesterdays nonstop interruptions. I decided that I was going to take a day for myself. I went to the beach alone. It was cold but I always like to go to the beach when it's cold. For one no one is there and I can actually walk on the sand without falling into it and two sometimes you can see seals at the edge of the shore. I didn't see seals but I was alone for a good time and I could think about everything that is happening.


It was actually beautiful and I took out my camera and took some good pics. It's good sometimes to take the time for yourself. The air felt so clean. I went to a local restaurant where I just read a book. I also put my cell phone on off so I wouldn't be interrupted. all in all I had a nice day today finally.


Then It began as I got home. There were three cars in my parking lot. One was Chaz's brother, the next one belonged to Selene and the third belonged to David. As I walked into the my house they rushed me. "Where have you been we've been so worried," Julio says.


"We were so worried," Selene said.


Then Chaz who had apparently driven here in his bro's car gave me a huge hug. "Dudewe thought something happened to you," he said.


So i asked them why and they told me how they had called my cell phone and I hadn't answered. Then they called my mothers house and no one knew where I was so they got worried. And here I think that I'm paranoid. So I told them where I was and then they looked at me like I was crazy and I really felt bad abaout not telling them so I made them all dinner, Making sure Julio didn't help, I know better.


So were actually having a good dinner when My ex burst into my house again. "What are you kidding me?" I yell. "Get out of my house!" Julio is already getting ready to pund some ass and Selene pulls him away.


"Dude I already told you I want nothing to do with you," comes from Chaz's mouth. I'm like what?


"Can't we just talk," my ex asks Chaz.


"No. Get out!" I yell once again. I walk over to him and start to push him out of my house, still wondering how he got in and that's when I notice the alcohol in his breath and I really don't want him to drive. I ask Chaz to call him a cab and I fish his keys out of his pockets.


"I'll drop your car off tomorrow," I said. I should just drive it to the junkyard.


"Why are you always trying to make me unhappy?" my ex asks me.


"Look your drunk right now so I'm going to be nice to you even though I shouldn't be," I said pulling him outside so we could wait for the cab.


"No," he says, pulling away from me. "I want to talk to you. I want to know why you think I'm so horrible to you?"


"No I'm done talking about this and I've moved on alright come on your cab'll be here in a moment," I tell him. He looks at me for a long time.


"Why?" he asks me.


"Because I don't want you to control me ever again," I said. He gives me this long look like he was searching for something but I know that what I tell him is the honest truth. "I'm happy now can't you be happy for me?"


"No you're not," he says laughing. I really wanted ot kill him and thank god that's when his cab shows up. So I put him in the cab and I actually give him money to go home, because he didn't have any money. The sad part Is I actually pitied him as he left. I watch the cab pull away when Julio came and put his arm around me.


"You're too good," he whispers in my ear. For the first time I actually told him everything I went through with my ex. Julio held me the whole time as I did.


GREEN of the good kind.


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Looks like your ex put you through hell and back. I am glad you were able to move on like you have and still be kind to the guy when he is clearly a mess. I know a few people that would never have responded the way you did. :great:


I am starting to see why your boyfriend loves you so much and why Chez seem to be intrested as well. hmm, I'm thinking that you would make a great mentor. 0:)



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Okay, so always the giver huh? Sounds like me a little which can get you into trouble emotionally at times, but I guess it's what makes us who we are so...


Anyway Green, lots of :hug: for you for being such a good human being.



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You just continue to make me and all of us smile, shed tears of well good tears....no such thing as being too good or too human and you have plenty of goodness, decency and kindness in you all of which makes us love you :)


There I said it....and I am so glad you found time for "Green" (even if you didn't get to see the seals). I agree with you. I find a walk on the beach incredibly calming. The same with watching the stars and moon and sky at night or early morning.


I am also glad Chaz told your ex to take a hike.....and the ex is a control freak...duh, no thanks...they scare me and tend to make me run (I grew up with a control freak step mother and step sisters..too toxic for any one)


Ok, back to paper work I go. Green, you continue to inspire me:)


Hugs sent your way!



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Grrr- your ex makes my furr stand up Green.


It's official Green: your first trick or treater this year came as a bozo. :rolleyes:


Julio however, sounds like a real sweetheart. You definitly traded UP. :thumbup:

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