I went to buy some new pants for work, and normally I buy Dickies cause they're pretty heavy duty, sturdy, and I liked that when I was doing more than just standing there and looking cute while flirting with firemen as I sell them groceries and overlooking the old guy that won't stop calling me Toots. Anyway, I decided I might like something a little nicer and made for a girl, since I am one, and I have these hips and everything. So, since they closed Mervyns down a couple months back, I decide to go to Kohl's, cause every time I've been in there, I like the stuff I see. Well, I should insert at this point, that I HATE shopping for clothes for me, likely cause I'm not thin and nothing fits right and it sucks. This is a HUGE clue as to why fat girls love shoe shopping, just so you know... cause no matter how fat you get, shoes always fit, but I digress.

I went in and looked around and couldn't find anything in my size or that I was brave enough to try on, and got frustrated and was going to go back to the Dickies place anyway where they have stuff that I KNOW fits, but instead, I decided to stop at the mall across the street and go into Lane Bryant, which I hate doing... because that's like... hello, reality check, you're fat. But I go... and I easily find a rack of black dress pants and as I'm looking for a size 18 to try on, on a lucky day, and depending on the cut, I can do 16, but that's rare, and everything on the rack says size 1, 2, 3, 4, etc... so I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong damn store or something! But no, I look up on the wall and there is the Lane Bryant sign, so then I wonder if they started carrying clothes for normal sized people (yes, my brain thought this awful thing) and so I venture to the other side of the store to check for stuff that has 2 digits in the size. I don't find anything like that, but what I do find is a BIG sign saying that they have a new 'Right Fit Waistband' with three different cuts, depending on the shape of your body and how 'curvy' you are, and to get measured with the 'Right Fit Waistband Tape Measure' to find out what size you are.

So, I ask to be measured, and the girl tells me I'm a 4... she thinks I should go with moderately curvy. I try on a pair, and they're a bit too big so she brings me a 3 and they're better, but I still think the cut for the straighter type bodies would be better... I try a pair, and I like how they look better, but they don't have my size so I go with moderately curvy, whatever. I get up to the counter to pay for these pants, which by the way, is run by overweight women, and this is the conversation that happened...

Me: I just want you to know that I think it's absurd that at Lane Bryant, I am a size 3.

The Girls: Well *giggle* it's fun to be able to say when someone asks you what size you are, that you are a size 3.

Me: On what f**king planet is anyone going to look at me and believe that?

Further, I think that that is just going to make things even worse for overweight women. It's like denial at it's best, and worst. If the system makes you unhappy, make a new one where you can pretend you are. And now that you don't have a weight problem, cause you're a size 3 after all, you can totally stop doing anything you were doing and any and all efforts you were making to try and maintain some modicum of health and fitness.

Also, according to Twitter, the PATD boys were one mile from my house and maybe three miles from my work, hanging out in my city, and did not come to visit me... on what f**king planet does that even happen?!

Hugs,

Viv