LOOKING FOR MORE

[Christian000]

LOOKING FOR MORE

 

Every day I am found

Every night I am lost

For I come and go

 

"Friends?"

"Family?"

Who will I remember

Who will I be tomorrow?

Since when have I cared?!

 

Who cares if I hate the night!

I will still have her

 

Who cares if my hearts lives!

With Vanity I dance in the cold air

I laugh!

I scream!

I quench my thirst with sand

I beat my drums to death.

(while my heart bleeds for truth)

With empty lips I kiss the shadows!!

(while my heart starves of love)

 

OOH How I mock pain

OOH How I've become Numb!

. . Oooh

How _________ I________ feel _________ so

profoundly

EMPTY

Edited April 6, 2008 by Christian000

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow! There's a lot going on in this poem.

 

I like the general feeling of searching and the way that you've managed to indicate that the opinion of friends and family is not the ultimate good. Yet, your mention of them also speaks of the inherent influence that they do wield in our lives.

 

The punctuation and general flow of the poem is very experimental and dynamic. I almost had a tough time keeping up with it in that it moved so quickly that it kept me on my toes. Is this a parallel attempt to express the quickly changing, dynamic searching of youth?

 

The end both seems to "fit" really well with the overall tone of the poem yet almost catches the casual reader by surprise.

 

Excellent job, Anthony!

 

I really enjoyed this piece

 

-Kevin