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Posted

It's natural for an author to draw inspiration from his or her own life when writing a story. It's the talent of being able to take that current emotion that they're feeling, and truly explain and translate it in such a way where it's accessible to everyone who reads it, that really separates some authors from others. That can mean including real life events, discussions, people, and situations, that took place while they were putting pen to paper. (Or fingers to keyboard, in this case)

 

But...when including other people's lives in your fiction, even with the names changed or characters made to be 'anonymous'...is that an invasion of privacy where other people are involved? Even if it's meant to be harmless, other people might not like being written about. Even in a positive way. CERTAINLY not in a negative way. But when you take a piece of your personal experience as a writer, and it involves other people close to you...is that really a fair process concerning them and their feelings? Say, you write about a fight you had with your best friend, or a private matter that happened between you and a parent, or a sexual encounter that happened with you and someone you work with...should those parts of your story be left out of your writing? Or is it just the kind of fuel that you need to make it more real? Let us know what you think!

 

 

 

Posted

It's natural for an author to draw inspiration from his or her own life when writing a story. It's the talent of being able to take that current emotion that they're feeling, and truly explain and translate it in such a way where it's accessible to everyone who reads it, that really separates some authors from others. That can mean including real life events, discussions, people, and situations, that took place while they were putting pen to paper. (Or fingers to keyboard, in this case)

 

But...when including other people's lives in your fiction, even with the names changed or characters made to be 'anonymous'...is that an invasion of privacy where other people are involved? Even if it's meant to be harmless, other people might not like being written about. Even in a positive way. CERTAINLY not in a negative way. But when you take a piece of your personal experience as a writer, and it involves other people close to you...is that really a fair process concerning them and their feelings? Say, you write about a fight you had with your best friend, or a private matter that happened between you and a parent, or a sexual encounter that happened with you and someone you work with...should those parts of your story be left out of your writing? Or is it just the kind of fuel that you need to make it more real? Let us know what you think!

 

I think it's better to draw inspiration from people you know and events you've experienced, but not try to put those people or events into the story with any great fidelity to what actually happened in real life.

 

There are several reasons for this. First, of course, there could be legal repercussions, but that's the least of my concerns, actually. What I have found is that it's easier to construct a good story if you are free to depart from what actually happened and make dramatic and story choices that best serve the story. Thus, the second and far more important reason is that trying to "write from life" can be too limiting. One's mindset moves from constructing a good story to the different discipline of reporting what happened.

 

Having said that, I think there's every good reason to be alert for interesting elements, quirks, and character traits that can be incorporated into a story -- either directly, or by taking their opposite. Thus, if we have an acquaintance who is a neat freak, we can incorporate that trait into one of our characters, even if that fictional character does not otherwise resemble our real-life neat freak friend. Or we can take the opposite tack, and use the friend as inspiration to create a character who is an unbelievable slob. If we have an acquaintance who constantly checks e-mail a smartphone, we can incorporate that quirk.

 

I think it's more fun, in many ways, to maintain the freedom to send characters in whatever direction we want without worrying about real-life counterparts. I have taken great joy in making characters who embody characteristics that I wish I had, and finding out vicariously what it would be like to have those characteristics.

 

The last thing I would add is that I suspect every writer may unconsciously incorporate things from life even while holding a strong intent not to do so. A story idea may appear in their head, which at the time seems original, but may actually derive from some actual life event that for some reason has fallen below the consciousness horizon. I don't think there's any way to avoid this.

 

A

Posted

YES. It is.

 

You simply can not do it ethically. There is too much room to cause injury to innocent parties.

 

You must fictionalize the story.

 

Change the names, people, places and things.

 

It need not affect the plot.

Posted

To draw inspiration from our personal lives is a natural, predictable thing; it can have a powerful influence on our writing. But we must not take our real lives, families; friends, and paste them into a book, we must limit our use to shadows of them, or perhaps only glimpses of the shadows.

 

I know some of my family and friends have claimed to recognize themselves in some of my stories, but I always try to put the obvious traits into a positive light. There was only one Italian woman in the world that would (lovingly) cuff the back of my head at supper time when she would say; "Mangi! Mangi!" (Eat! Eat!) She started demanding royalties when she saw how often I used that trait...! But any trait that would not be seen as loving, I would suggest using exceedingly cautiously.

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