Bottom or Top?

[markycielo]

Why the long face? Bottom can be super fun!

 

lol... can it?

[VictoryPanda]

Indecisive.

[myself_i_must_remake]

seeing as though one of the phd programs i'm applying to will be in austin, i'll be needing to know what jsmith is

 

i'm versatile, btw, though leaning top lately, which is very odd for me. when i was 21 i just wanted to bottom everyone and his brother, and now i'm totally chasing tail everywhere.

[MJ85]

lol... can it?

 

Ohhh, trust me - it can be. I should know.

[markycielo]

Ohhh, trust me - it can be. I should know.

 

oh gosh lol...

[Yettie One]

Versatile pretty much although have a tendency leaning towards top. A dominant man does bring out my submissive side though!

[Prince Duchess]

Mine changes with the guys that I meet and see theres some that i'd like to dick down and then theres guys id want to dick me down. eitherway a bj is a given in either instance.

[ryan jo]

I don't like sex.

[MJ85]

I don't like sex.

 

Then...why would you answer?

 

Maybe I'm being jerk-y...but I don't get answering a question asking whether you like to bottom or to top, with "I don't like sex." I don't get doing that, at all.

[ryan jo]

Then...why would you answer?

 

Maybe I'm being jerk-y...but I don't get answering a question asking whether you like to bottom or to top, with "I don't like sex." I don't get doing that, at all.

 

Because I answered it.

[Y_B]

Ryry is a bottomless pit of colon. I can vouch.

 

[ryan jo]

Ryry is a bottomless pit of colon. I can vouch.

 

 

You make me sound so loose. But you're fairly right.

[Prince Duchess]

I don't like sex.

 

Gurl I dont know why you in here lying! You know good and well you a power bottom boo boo. Just because you aint had sex in a minute and you might be a little rusty dont mean you dont like it.

[markycielo]

Mine changes with the guys that I meet and see theres some that i'd like to dick down and then theres guys id want to dick me down. eitherway a bj is a given in either instance.

 

i go about it the same way though i keep meeting tops... so yeah... bottom.

[tyssonalves]

I'm versatile.

I just don't understand one thing: why do people always ask us to choose A or B? I mean, the question "top or bottom"... why don't people ask "are you top, bottom or versatile?". Why do people ask "are you gay or straight?" instead of "are you gay, straight or bi?"

I think it makes a relevant difference because these questions are always sort of forcing us to choose one or another and forget about the other possibility there is which is enjoying or being on both sides instead of one or another. You know what I mean?

[JSmith]

I always hate meeting a great guy, going on a couple dates, then when we get down to the good stuff, we're 'incompatible'. Granted, even getting to the date part is few and far between for me, but its extremely irritating! Do you guys find it inappropriate to ask the top/bottom question early on? And how do you go about that conversation?

 

Assuming you're not just looking for a quickie...

[Y_B]

I'm imagine the best thing to do is just go along with the dates until you get to the good stuff to find out. Either way you reach the same point (you're compatible or not) but you don't come off awkward by asking that question early on like you're already preparing for the bonking. But then again, I'd imagine it being pretty awkward too when you're both just laying there wondering why nothing was going up anywhere. If I was dating someone and things were going well and he asked me if I was a top or bottom flat out, depending on how (un)smoothly integrated it was in the convo, I'd just be like...hmmm so yeah, if you must know, i suppose just do your best to weave it into convo as naturally and non-chalant as you could. or maybe it could go like..."wtf am I sitting on? geez...I hate having things poking my butt *hint hint*" Anyhoo, good thing I'm versatile, so it will never be an issue and I wouldn't ever have to ask the question.

[raydeayon1]

Both but i like bottom way better i love it when my bf grabs my hair and im not in control almost like im tied up or something um did i say to much hehe

[Abersloth]

Both.

 

At the same time.

[comicfan]

Both.

 

At the same time.

 

So either you are really "talented" or you have a very large bed.

[MJ85]

I always hate meeting a great guy, going on a couple dates, then when we get down to the good stuff, we're 'incompatible'. Granted, even getting to the date part is few and far between for me, but its extremely irritating! Do you guys find it inappropriate to ask the top/bottom question early on? And how do you go about that conversation?

 

Assuming you're not just looking for a quickie...

 

I think...if a guy's asking "the question", he's probably looking for a quickie. (Or even a not-so-quickie, but you get the idea...)

 

I've just gone with the flow when it comes to dating that leads to sex...the only times I've ever had the question come up is from guys looking for flavors-of-the-moment. Maybe it's just me...but I think if a guy's going to date another guy and he flat out asks "the question", he's still thinking with the head not attached to his shoulders, and he's not after the other guy for his heart's sake. Even for those who are strictly tops or bottoms and they are dating for the right reasons (i.e. Not just for the sex)...when it does come up, it won't be "That awkward moment when..."

[JSmith]

Ah, but that's my point! When is it appropriate to 'pop the question'? Say you've been dating a guy for a couple weeks, things are going well, you both like each other, then you get to the sex part and you're both strictly tops or bottoms and it doesn't work out. I wouldn't say it's a waste of time, but it is definitely one of those 'That awkward moment when...' situations.

 

So for those that are strictly tops or bottoms that are interested in dating and getting to know someone before they sleep with them, what's the appropriate way to go about figuring it out? I mean, sometimes it's easy to tell when someone is a total bottom or total top, but then there are those where you can't really tell and have to guess when you first start dating.

[Cyhort]

Ah, but that's my point! When is it appropriate to 'pop the question'? Say you've been dating a guy for a couple weeks, things are going well, you both like each other, then you get to the sex part and you're both strictly tops or bottoms and it doesn't work out. I wouldn't say it's a waste of time, but it is definitely one of those 'That awkward moment when...' situations.

 

So for those that are strictly tops or bottoms that are interested in dating and getting to know someone before they sleep with them, what's the appropriate way to go about figuring it out? I mean, sometimes it's easy to tell when someone is a total bottom or total top, but then there are those where you can't really tell and have to guess when you first start dating.

 

 

I think the best way would probably be to offhandedly mention it yourself. Like, if you're having a conversation about, say, what movie stars you think are hot you could say something like "I think _______'s really hot, I'd ride him all day long" or "________'s sexy, I'd love to bend him over the couch" and then end it with a laugh so it comes off as a joke instead of you lusting after someone else while you're on a date. Just a way to get it out there so if you're both the same maybe it'll promt him to ask. *shrugs* But that's just how I'd try to do it. I've never actually had to before so I could be totally wrong.

[Ashi]

Oh well, if it's incompatible, then at least you gained a nice friend. (as long as you don't fight for the same guy later on... MEOW)

[Traveller_23]

Okay, so I have limited experience here, i.e. just one experience...but this how it went for me.

 

I'm versatile, and I doubt I'd date a guy who wasn't too to a certain degree. When I first started talking to/dating my current boyfriend, we talked a lot to get to know each other, and when the conversation got a little dirty this topic came up. But it wasn't awkward at all because it was in the right context. So yeah, I'd say bring it up, but in the right context. When the conversation is light hearted, and a little dirty hehe.

 

I think it is an important thing question to ask, and it's okay to ask early. Third date maybe though, not the first one!