Sarcastic Answers to Questions Relatives Always Ask At Holidays

[methodwriter85]

Sacastic Answers to Annoying Questions Relatives Ask At Holidays

 

LOL.

 

This is the one I relate to the most:

 

"So how do you make money?"

 

"Oh? You're asking because I went to school to study something I'm interested in and love? And not to make tons of money being unfulfilled post-grad? Solid question, relative or family friend. I guess I make money the way everyone in my generation does now, by leeching off my parents with grandiose visions of entitlement and laziness.

Pish posh, everyone knows art doesn't pay and doing what you love? Why bother? It's much more exciting to roam around Brooklyn — yes! Brooklyn! Or some such other hip neighborhood you've seen on TV! — wearing thrift store clothing, having terrible, unprotected sex, and smoking marijuana cigarettes. The only thing I care about, ironically, is my own apathy.

Do I ever want to succeed or be happy? No. My generation is worried that anything like that will take away from our precious Twitter and Facebook time. I'll probably continue to take money from my parents with no end in sight because I'm a spoiled piece of shit with no self-awareness or long-term goals. By the way, can I borrow 20 bucks?"

 

****

 

That is my life. To a T.

[JamesSavik]

At weddings obnoxious old people say, "you're next".

 

They stopped when I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

[comicfan]

I can't see why you don't want to settle down?

 

Let's look at the family shall we? You've been married twice. Evidently it didn't take the first time. Your children are by different partners and I believe your oldest has said unless they can marry one of both they aren't marrying. However the rest of your children have followed your example. Your daughter is on her fifth marriage isn't that right? I just feel I can't compete in that sort of race. I would be at least two marriages behind at my age and I am not sure I have that sort of energy.