Hitting Rock Bottom Still Puts Me on Top (and Other Detective Delusions)

[Thirdly]

I like comments. I like the people leaving them. I’m not scared of negative feedback. And I’m not insecure about my writing. But for some reason, I still can’t bring myself to read or respond sometimes.  - That's what the emojis and like buttons are for. Just go the Gen-Z route and hit the "like" button. 😂 (says the person that responds to things no one even asked about)

Edited October 27, 2025 by Thirdly

[Jack Poignet]

There, I did it. I left an emoji under the „anxiety“ post. Of course, I questioned if that was even appropriate,  because… What‘s the correct emoji here? „Thumbs up“–too generic, impersonal. „Love“–might make me seem like a heartless and tone-deaf monster, even so it touched my heart and made me emotional. „Haha“–can‘t say it‘s funny even though it is and probably is meant to be. „Wow“–could be interpreted as „what a freak“, even though it‘s meant to convey „Greatest Respect“. „Sad“ or „Angry“–might be conceived as „I hated this, don‘t bother me“ instead of sympathy or compassion. So I settled for „Fingers crossed“… yeah, it‘s not easy, you just can‘t do it right. 

Btw. I‘m currently editing my story „BigPaws“ and a main character there is very „funny“ and „chaotic“… my beloved and always right internet editor Gemini AI suggested I should elaborate on this behavior as a coping mechanism for PTSD. But I guess putting different names on a beast doesn’t really change it.

[Jeff Burton]

Your words are still pretty even if the anxiety isn’t. Remember when you first pm’ed me? That took what? A couple of weeks? 😂 I still look forward to every reply.

But I agree with @Thirdly just mash that heart react and move on if that’s all you’re able to do. 

[Inkognito]

Thank you to everyone who replied, reacted, panic-deleted their reply, chose a neutral emoji to avoid social consequences, and generally spiraled in beautifully synchronized chaos. Solidarity has never looked so emotionally unstable.

Just to clarify though: my original post wasn't about struggling how to respond to comments. It was about not being able to even open the page because my brain short circuits at the idea of even reading the comments.  
  
Other attractions in this anxiety circus include:

• Letting unknown numbers go to voicemail and instead choosing to Google them like I'm conducting a background check for the FBI  
• Skipping doctor appointments because that requires calling to make one, and phone calls are just surprise public speaking to someone who can see your medical history and knows you've been avoiding them for eight months  
• Letting packages sit at the post office until they're returned to sender because picking them up involves human interaction and eye contact, and honestly at this point I've forgotten what I even ordered so it's probably fine  
• Marking emails as unread so I can “circle back later,” which in my personal timeline translates to anywhere between tomorrow and the sun exploding

Honestly, the fact that I’m replying in under a fiscal quarter qualifies as both growth and divine intervention. I’m apparently still coasting on the feral energy and profound spiritual clarity that comes from publicly roasting Talo, a man so smug and so flammable he’s now both a cautionary tale and a limited-edition campfire scent.

Momentum is momentum.

Or maybe it's a cocktail of caffeine, spite, and the lingering scent of burnt marshmallow.

Either way, we ride at dawn.

[Lee Wilson]

1 hour ago, Inkognito said:

Momentum is momentum.

Physics lesson: You’re confusing momentum and inertia. According to dictionary.com:

 Inertia: inertness, especially with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.

Momentum: force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events.

The car gained momentum going downhill. Her career lost momentum after two unsuccessful films.

[Inkognito]

9 hours ago, Lee Wilson said:

Physics lesson: You’re confusing momentum and inertia. According to dictionary.com:

 Inertia: inertness, especially with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.

Momentum: force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events.

The car gained momentum going downhill. Her career lost momentum after two unsuccessful films.

Good sir, I was referring to the emotional kind of momentum, the kind powered by caffeine, spite, and mild character growth.

I promise no actual physics was harmed in the making of that sentence. But I do admire your commitment to keeping my metaphors scientifically honest.

Respect.

[Inkognito]

Confession #006: Dude, Where’s My Car?

So I recently inherited a car. It’s only a year newer than the car I had, but it's in way better shape.

Here’s the thing though.

I had my old car for fourteen years.

FOURTEEN.

That’s longer than the average marriage worldwide.

It was a purple Scion XD.

I almost never saw another like it on the road.

It was weird.

It was wonderful.

It was my ride-or-die toaster on wheels.

I even drove it in GTA V Online back in the day.

Homegirl and I should have gotten a cake.

Because now?

Now I drive a silver Ford Edge.

It’s nice. It’s reliable. It’s safe.

It also looks like witness protection.

Every parking lot is now a game of Where’s Waldo?.

Except everyone is Waldo.

So yeah. Upgraded in comfort, downgraded in personality.

Sniff

RIP, Purple Toaster.

You were a wheel one. ✌️

[Zombie]

8 hours ago, Inkognito said:

Upgraded in comfort, downgraded in personality

older cars could be loved💕, modern cars might get liked 

oh, and I beat u on ownership - 16 years my previous  

[Inkognito]

Confession #007: Ahh, the Sweet Surprise of Stationary Impact

So here I am.

Sitting in a massive, mostly empty parking lot, minding my business and enjoying the peace, when this lone ranger rolls in like they’re on some personal side quest to ruin the vibe.

Because out of every open spot in this freaking asphalt galaxy, they decide right next to me is the place to be.

Naturally.

And as if that wasn't already annoying enough to this introvert, they then proceeded to climb out and WHACK their door into mine.

I'm talking a full-force THUNK that echoed with the confidence of someone who has never paid a repair bill in their life. Rambo over here literally shook my damn vehicle.

And I'm just like... bruh.

Seriously?

What in the ever-loving Ford F-150 fuck are you doing, bruh?

[Jeff Burton]

9 minutes ago, Inkognito said:

Confession #007: Ahh, the Sweet Surprise of Stationary Impact

So here I am.

Sitting in a massive, mostly empty parking lot, minding my business and enjoying the peace, when this lone ranger rolls in like they’re on some personal side quest to ruin the vibe.

Because out of every open spot in this freaking asphalt galaxy, they decide right next to me is the place to be.

Naturally.

And as if that wasn't already annoying enough to this introvert, they then proceeded to climb out and WHACK their door into mine.

I'm talking a full-force THUNK that echoed with the confidence of someone who has never paid a repair bill in their life. Rambo over here literally shook my damn vehicle.

And I'm just like... bruh.

Seriously?

What in the ever-loving Ford F-150 fuck are you doing, bruh?

That happened to me a couple of nights ago.

All I wanted to do was treat myself to a little Taco Bell before I went into work. It’s night it’s quiet. I’m in the Walmart parking lot IN. THE. BACK. So far back there isn’t a loose shopping cart to be scene, why? Because the average American isn’t going to park that far away from a door unless the lot was packed and Amazon stopped free shipping.

im watching YouTube tearing into my tacos like a fat kid on a cupcake and what happens?

Chevrolet Silverado with its high beams on parks directly in front of my car facing me nose to nose.

@&$%!!!!!!

I moved, backed out, and went right a little bit and cut through the parking lot, cutting him off from opening his door to get out and  parked two rows over.

He got out looking at me like I’m the asshole.  The nerve of some people.

 

Edited November 24, 2025 by Jeff Burton

[Jeff Burton]

On 11/3/2025 at 9:09 AM, Zombie said:

older cars could be loved💕, modern cars might get liked 

oh, and I beat u on ownership - 16 years my previous  

Both of you are more stable than I’ll ever be. The only thing I’ve managed to old onto for longer than a year is crippling depression and I’ve owned that baby for almost 30 years. 😂

[Inkognito]

Confession #8: Impact Statement 

All good things must come to an end, and ever since I bought my corner home five years ago, I’ve always had an irrational fear that someone would crash into it one day.

Tonight, someone crashed into my home and my vehicle, rendering it undrivable.

From this day forward, I will no longer consider any of my fears irrational.