Message Board Topic For 4/9

[Topaz]

Have you ever been reading a story with a decent concept, a decent story, and decent characters...but were so completely thrown off with the bad dialogue that it just ruined the story for you?

 

"I certainly do love you Joe. I hope that you and I can be boyfriends for the rest of our years on this planet."

 

"Me too, Bobby Jo. I, too, feel as though I would like to love you with all of my gosh darn heart. Please kiss me."

 

"Ok. I will kiss you."

 

Smooch smooch smooch! Hehehe, there's no way around it, sooner or later, your characters are going to have to talk to one another. And when they do, they'd better be interesting about it. Now, that doesn't mean that sparks have to fly with every word they speak...but there should be some sort of natural flow to the way they interact with one another. Even if it's an awkward and bashful situation, even that has to have a certain 'rhythm' to it that will keep the reader interested and match the mood of that particular scene. The question is, how can an author go about doing that? What makes dialogue 'work' for you when you're reading it or writing it out? What do you like? What DON'T you like? Whatever your thoughts are on dialogue, let's talk about it!

[Graeme]

For me, dialogue has to sound real. That means not only should each speaker have a personality (okay, some people do have personality bypasses, but you know what I mean), but that what is said should sound natural.

 

The way I do it is to imagine I'm the one saying the words. Would I say that if I was the character? Does it sound like something that character would say? Would it feel natural to me if I overheard it in the street?

[JamesSavik]

Good dialogue is something of an oxymoron: it is something synthetic that must appear natural to be considered any good.

 

There are a few classic mistakes of dialogue that are usually disused: too much dialogue, too little dialogue, uncharacteristic dialogue. unnatural language in dialogue, overuse of dialect and "tell-all" dialogue.

 

The author must use their own judgment in regard to what is too much or too little dialogue.

 

Unnatural language in dialogue is a common mistake. Remember WHO you are writing about: are a group of middle school kids very likely to speak the queens English? What is their vocabulary likely to be like? While it is unnecessary to be as profane as real middle schoolers, portraying them as wide-eyed innocents is lame. Some of todays middle schoolers can tell stories that would make a sailor blush. [i'm not making a value judgment on this state of affairs, I'm just calling it like I see it.]

 

Overuse of dialect can be very annoying to the reader. While the use of dialect adds some regional flavor to the story, a little goes a very long way. Be careful to use dialect that is not too obscure or you'll be sending your readers to the dictionary. You don't want to do this as it interupts the flow and breaks the spell of the story you are trying to tell.

 

While dialogue may be used to reveal character, take care to keep a character's dialogue in character. I hate characters that talk like a gangsta in one scene and a rocket scientist in another.

 

Tell-all dialogue is horribly annoying. For an example of this sort of abomination just listen to 7th grade girls talking on the phone. [be VERY careful doing this as it can cause shooting sprees.]

[Topaz]

A LOT of very good points made here! Thanks you guys! I'm definitely taking notes!

 

I find it really difficult to get into stories where the dialogue is stiff, unrealistic, or just plain boring. I truly judge a character by two things....'said' and 'unsaid'. If the 'said' part of that equation is off, then there's a huge hole left for me. I'm not saying that dialogue has to be overly witty or award winning stuff. If it just sounds somewhat natural and fits the mood and tone of that particular person, then I'm happy. If they're infatuated, if they're sad, if they're angry, if they're uncomfortable, een if they're meant to be unlikeable...fifty percent of that personality is transmitted through the words they use and the conversations they have with other people. So I think it's really important to make it work.

 

I always try to create some kind of natural flow by thinking of all of the characters involved in a certain scene, and simply start off with a single sentence. I start with the 'plot point' that I want this conversation to have (For example, if this conversation is going to explain to Justin how to find the vampire Zero, or if it's supposed to hurt Derek and get him to leave the opera house without telling Tanner, etc). What is the actual point of this conversation, and what will be

accomplished when it's over? That's what I ask myself, and begin with a single phrase or statement. After that, I just think about the characters involved as real people. I think about what is going through their heads, what their life is like, and what their current emotion is. Keeping that in mind, I just let them 'talk' to each other naturally, and try to keep up with them. You almost have to put yourself in their shoes and become that character while they react to what's being said, and then switch over to the other character and do the same.

 

If one character says, "Hey, let's go out on a date sometime. My treat." Different characters react to that in different ways.

 

If someone is extremely shy and insecure, they may only answer with a single mumbled word or two. "Um....I guess....sure."

 

Someone who is head over heels in love and unbelieveably nervous at the time, might babble or stumble over his words altogether. "Go out? Well, I mean, 'go out' go out??? Like, on a date? You did say DATE right? So like kissing and stuff afterwards? NOT that we HAVE to kiss or anything! Or that you'd even want to! But if you did, I'd totally let you do it, you know? Shit...am I talking too much?"

 

Someone who was hurt by this person or angry, might act as if though they don't care, or may make a snide remark to hurt them back. "Oh, I see...now you're interested in going out all of the sudden? What's the matter? Is Kevin too busy to 'go out on a date' with you?"

 

And a character that has had bad experiences with love, doesn't know how to handle the pressure, or has a low self esteem may withdraw from the question entirely. "You know...I'm kinda..'busy' that day. I can't do it. You know what? I should go. I'll see you later, k?"

 

Whatever the character's personality is at that point in the story, that's what guides his or her reaction. And of course, the boy who did the asking for the date will respond differently to each answer above. And that conversation will bounce back and forth easily until the plot point I wanted involved in the story has been reached. And then I can move into the next scene.

 

So if any author can match their dialogue to their characters, and throw in the 'unsaid' mannerisms to support who that person is (A shy person staring at his feet, an angry person turning his back on the boy he's talking to, a hurt person wiping a tear from his eye, or an adonis gently brushing his long soft hair out of his eyes), then I'm hooked. You've got me. But that dialogue has got to be there to keep me locked in. Without it...my mind starts to wander.