TetRefine

I remember the first time I watched this, and seeing the struggle of the teenage boy. I quietly cried to myself. It was so relatable. I haven't watched this music video in awhile, and seeing it again brings up so many different emotions. Thanks for posting!

In no particular order... -Born This Way (Lady Gaga) -Go West (Village People) -YMCA (Village People) -Macho Man (Village People) -This Is Me (From, The Greatest Showman) -It's Raining Men (Weather Girls) -Dancing Queen (Abba) -Believe (Cher) -Finally (CeCe Pendleton) -Free (Ultra Nate) -Smalltown Boy (Bronsky Beet) -RESPECT (The immortal Aretha Franklin) -Freedom '90 (George Michael) -I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Whitney Houston) -Sissy That Walk (RuPaul) -I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor) -I'm Coming Out (Diana Ross) -Pride: A Deeper Love (Aretha Franklin) I could go on and on. So many classics from so many decades, and they keep on coming!

I'm not sure if this counts because he is fictional, but the character of Malone from Andrew Holleran's Dancer From The Dance. His struggle and wanderings through life searching for something he (un)consciously denied himself was a breathtaking story, and one I can very personally relate to. If we are talking real life, then Lady Gaga. When her song Born This Way came out in 2011, I was a 19 year old, mostly closeted college freshman. That song was one of my inspirations for beginning to come out.

Another Philadelphian!

I don't live in New York, but grew up in a family of born and bred New Yorkers, and have been a frequent visitor of the city for as long as I've been alive. I go about 12-15 times a year, and am pretty familiar with the city. So I may be of some use if you can't find others.

Exactly!

I can't think of anything that was once gay that got better when it became more "mixed". I'll use my once-favorite club here as an example. When I first started going in college, it was almost entirely gay and the best place to drink, dance, cruise, and hang out. Starting about a year and a half ago, more and more straight women started to show up because they realized gay clubs are just better and there are no straight men to bother them. The atmosphere slowly began to change as more and more women invaded the space. When things really started to go downhill was when the straight men began showing up with their girlfriends. Suddenly there were more fights, more sloppy behavior, and a much more "I'm insecure so I have to act super macho" attitude that has completely ruined the place. In the space of a year and a half, it went from the most popular gay club in the city to one where very few go anymore. I spend most of my day in a straight world surrounded by straight people doing things by straight-decided rules. I want to spend some time around people who just get it in an atmosphere created and ruled by our version of life. We screwed ourselves by begging straight people to accept us by using the "we're just like you" tag as a tool. Now our once unique identity and culture is being overrun and watered down by those very people we begged to accept us in the first place. God forbid straight people can't have 100% of the world. 😒

Me either, although I wouldn’t rule myself out of trying it at some point though. But yeah, most of my gay friends have never touched the V so I don’t think it is all that odd.

You mean that never having slept with a woman before makes you an oddity in the gay community?

Thank you to everyone who responded. It was definitely an eye-opening and very interesting thread to follow.

Okay yes, but that pertains to all facets of society. If a foreigner only watches Hollywood movies, then they would think that America consists of nothing but New York and LA, everyone is a 9.5/10, and we're all rich. It is the lived reality of the people who produce those kinds of things, but yes it doesn't pertain to 95% of actual Americans. I made the same mistake in my initial post in assuming my gay experience was one that was more common then it is. I assumed that gay life in America was what I see in the Northeast and California, neglecting the fact that most of us don't live there and don't live that kind of life. Hence why I revised my original statement and got a nice reminder that my lived experience is my own and not always reflective of the majority. One of the reasons I asked this question on here is because so many of the people on GA are not like the people I know in real life. They don't live in big cities, they aren't necessarily party animals, and have a much wider variation of interests and backgrounds.

Hearing this, and also seeing it myself in real life, makes me happy like no other. It is crazy to see how fast things have changed from when I graduated high school just 8 years ago. I can't wait for the day where no gay kid has to go through what I and so many others did growing up.

Okay, I think some people misunderstood the question I was trying to ask. Also, after rereading what I wrote, I (unintentionally) defined what "being gay" is based solely on my own personal experiences. That was not my intention, but it's how it came out. My experience being gay is entirely within a very cosmopolitan, big city lifestyle with very established and diverse gay communities. Living here in Philadelphia, and traveling frequently to places like New York and other gay meccas, it is very easy to live what many people think of as a gay lifestyle. Aside from work, almost everything I am a part of has "gay" as a qualifier. So yes, I let my own limited worldview on what being gay means bias my own question and I can see why some people who don't live that life would feel left out of this thread. I guess the more accurate question would be: "What does being gay/LGBT/other mean to you?"

Nope, that makes perfect sense and the kind of answers I am interested in hearing about that fall outside the two ends of the spectrum. Just about everyone I know in my own life is either just a guy who has sex with other guys, or someone who fully embraces the identity. So it is interesting to hear about more grey areas.

I'm curious to know how many people on here identify as a part of the gay community versus how many just identify as having same sex attractions without feeling a part of the larger, cultural gay community. For example, I personally identify as gay and very much feel a part of the larger gay community. Most of my friends are gay, I go to a mostly-gay gym, I play in a gay sports league, I go to gay bars/clubs/circuit parties, and whenever I travel I make it a point to check out the local gay scene. What I love about being gay in the cultural sense is that no matter where you go, you already have an established tribe/community that you can find support in through shared identity. I've found in my post-college years is that we are a community that tends to protect our own, and we've created our own institutions separate from the straight world to fulfill that purpose. It's ghettoization to an extent, but after living in the stuffy confines of straight life for so long, I've found that this much smaller community offers freedom to a level and in a particular way that people who aren't a part of it will never get to experience. So where do you fit in, or not at all?

Generally I'm not a fan of Kesha but this one is good.

This is the best piece of advice. Definitely head it.

So much soul in this song. I love it!

If I read romance, I guess I prefer M/M because it is what I can relate to in real life. Generally when I read realistic fiction, I need to be able to relate to it from my own life to stay interested. I can't relate to anything in my life other then M/M relationship wise, so I'd have no interest in any other kind of relationship. Though to be honest I don't like popular romance in general. It almost always follows a easily predictable style and plot and wraps everything up neatly and perfectly in the end. Real life relationships, and real life in general, are rarely ever as happily-ever-after as romance portrays them as. But then again, maybe that is part of the appeal as it offers a more happy escape from the harsher realities.

Jeremy, he had 5 Super Bowl rings already, and is playing as well at 39 as he was at 29. What happened this year is a moot point. He is, undisputedly, the Greatest Of All Time.

This remix is amazing.

Anybody who doesn't say Tom Brady isn't being objective. He is the GOAT.

Yeah, Alegria is absolutely crazy. We got there a little before midnight and didn't leave until a little after 10am the next morning. I wanted to stay until closing and keep dancing, but my friends were shot. Another friend who did stay said that when it finally ended the floor was still packed to the gills. It was rough when it finally did end, because I finally realized once I stopped that my feet were basically numb from dancing for 10+ hours and that it was full on daylight outside. Would I trade that experience of pure bliss for anything? Hell no. By the way, Black and Blue is on my list of parties I want to attend before I retire.

New York City Pride was absolutely epic and over the top, as always. For those of you who don't know, World Pride is coming to New York next year, which means it'll probably be the biggest Pride in New York yet, and that's saying something. Tickets for all the events are already on sale, so if you're interested in going get them now because they will skyrocket in price. Here's a little video clip I found of the Alegria Pride closing party from Sunday night-Monday morning. This is the annual marathon closing party that runs from 11pm Sunday night till Noon the next day. It was absolutely epic, from the guys to the performances to the DJs to the atmosphere of absolute happiness and bliss. Dancing for hours on end amongst a sea of other gay men and feeling like you completely and utterly belong really hammered home what pride means to me. Skip to about 2:00 for the good part. This queen killed it!

No, they are documentaries from legitimate channels and sources that were taped and uploaded to YouTube. NatGeo, History Channel, PBS, the major networks, etc. YouTube is far from being amateur content nowadays.