doesnt know jack

Oh. My. God. This story is soooo...interesting. :-p Ha! No, not really, it's anything but-it's fucking amazing. Brilliant. Beautiful. Heartbreaking. Gut wrenching. Tragic. And there's so much I want to say about it-but I'm having trouble pulling the thoughts back into focus. (It has something to do with that last scene being so much more than just the fact that Mrs. Harding is so right but then SO WRONG and that happening all the time to Elijah-ps.totally put me in his camp-that's just...YES!! But clearly I'm having issues articulating it.) I'll have to read it again and give you better praise next time (I swear I'm better at this and actually words that mean something), but for now just know that this is really, really, just...wow. Thank you.

That's it? Really? Gaaaa...I really need to stop reading WIPs... Best part of the entire chapter: Understanding made Bryce's eyes widened. He cuddled Delaur possessively and made an about-face, muttering, "You are far too young for this." With quick steps, he left the house. I keep telling you this, but it's those moments that make your stories so special. Also, I'm glad were finally getting more of Kynan's history (at the end); things are falling into place nicely. And I'm not sure if I can say this before the next chapter...but it seemed to end rather abruptly. Is it just me, or was this a shorter chapter than usual? Thanks!

Yes, but it's really so much more than that...it's almost more along the lines of "A rag tag bunch of creatures of (mostly) dark are thrown together to try to save the world...." Hahaha...that's why I don't do the writing. And yeah, don't worry, I never thought you were ignoring me-I don't really expect my ramblings to ever get anywhere. :-) The (only ;-p) two things to say this time around: 1) Incubus. Yeah totally did NOT see that coming. Now it's completely like WTF man? And how again is Karadur related? Seriously, canNOT figure it out!!! 2) And I actually did pick up on Aure's kid thing. Nice hint you dropped with Jacen's (wasn't it him?) "Bryce do you know how elementals procreate" thing. Wahoo!! I got one!! Hehehehe...I really need to stop with the guessing and stick to reading. Of course, now I'm actually going through the chapter again...there's so much....Love the title-again...LOVE the sex talk humor at the end...love Bryce...well, love all the characters actually (still kind of "pissed" -quotes mean relative-about Aure leaving so soon)...love Bryce's pain-I mean, f**k that whole scene and the way it ended was poetic and tradgic.... I'm still not competely sure about the whole succubus/incubus thing...I think I need to reread the last chapter. And, truth be told, I'm finding myself becoming quite attached to the characters surrrounding Alan and Kynan...hence the "rag tag bunch" thing. Once again, much thanks!

Somehow I don't think the prince will be happy with this turn in events....I don't know, could be just me. Back to harping on the subject of Kynan's parentage...I kind of figured there was something going on with him and... angels??? Hence the wing thing? Or is there another creature with feathered wings out there that we don't know about? (By the way, that dreamscape where he has the wings-beautiful. It was so...moving and subtle. I thought for awhile he would only have them in the dreamscape, I'm glad to see that's not the case.) Just one question: How is he related to Karadur again? :-p Also, I forgot to mention it last time, but I think my favorite thing about Karadur (I totally get why you would have a crush on him...) is that I really see him as an older Kynan. Give him a century or two more and they could be twins. Of course, the subtle differences between the two-I feel like Kynan might not be AS quick to loose his temper, for instance, is what makes for such good writing. I'm just glad they're all back together...now the real fun begins. Right??? hehehe (Although what that might be I certainly don't have a clue. Just bring Aure soon-the way this last chapter ended...that's completely how the loss of someone goes. Once again-beautiful.

I'm sorry I've been so absent-life kind of go in the way of me participating, but I haven't stopped reading. I've soooo wanted to comment, just haven't had the time. Not that I really have it now, but this last chapter was just so wonderfully brilliant, I wanted to let you know that my reaction to this: Bryce blinked. "What?" Karadur frowned in confusion. Anger over Arawn's repeated insinuations that he wasn't trustworthy clashed with the flood of tangled emotions he felt through his bond with Azil. He’d never before felt such panic. "He's your grandson." Jacen spoke directly to the big, black, scary-as-f**k demon. Was something along the lines of: Say, come-a, what? Stopped me in my tracks. And then of course I laughed, out loud, at the "scary-as-f**k demon" and subsequent Karadur reactions. Question though: Is Karadur the grandfather by blood? Or is it through Azil? And that would mean that either one of them is the Queen's father...or it would have to mean that Kynan's father is also a half-demon...so Kynan is really a three quarter demon...or something. How the hell does that work? Also, one of the reasons I've been mia is that I accidentally skipped ahead to the end of the chapter where Aure leaves Bryce and I thought that he really died then and I couldn't read anymore because I was so pissed at the thought that that relationship might be over. And then I was glad that he wasn't totally gone and now I'm wondering if it's not him that will come back but...his son (that's how they breed)? I like Bryce (well, I like them all), and I like(d) Aure and it would suck to see that be over. But I'm excited for the part of Aure that escaped to meet back up with the story. (Unless I missed that, which I am-as previous posts have shown-prone to do.) Yeah, all of that's speculation....As to what this post is really replying to: I have no idea where this story is going. Obviously, whatever happens you can't make too easy on everyone so even if they manage to get Kynan and Alan back, it could be too late-maybe they've already let something slip and the prince will go after the queen and everyone will have to go to battle., Of course, I'd be willing to bet that Kynan's parantage will be crucial to the story.... Good stuff that. :-) One more thing: I LOVE the back stories. They really help bring the characters alive and made Karadur and Azil all that more endearing. Thanks, as always!!!

I just want to jump in here and say the characters I don't like are usually my favorite. It's what makes them real to me too.

Actually, let me re-direct you to chapter 1. Kynan says specifically that he is the Queen's son and that it's a huge secret known only to himself and his mother. And, you'd assume, his father, but that's another story.... -Hahahahahahaha.....clearly my observational skills are top notch. Although, in my defense I think it was a couple of weeks, if not more between the time I read chapter one and decided to go all in. And, I have to say...I think I kind of preferred being in the dark about that particular bit of information. Any reason you revealed it so early? 'Touched' people can be of any race from the World of Light. They came about when angels (servants of God) bred with the world's inhabitants. Generally, though, only creatures with devoutly Good hearts were blessed by the angels. There are some legends about the liasons between angels and mortals. After the angels were all killed during the Demon War, the Touched became very quickly rare, because most of them died in the war, too. Duncan is quite unique, and that's all the more interesting because so much time has passed that no one even remembers (at least, the humans have forgotten) the significance of Duncan's birthright. -Cool. Very, very cool. (hehe) I will also say that Waylon is not a secret identity of any of the characters we've met so far. -Really? Bummer....see, I took that whole Scattered throughout the story are the clues to help you decode all the secrets. Let's see if you can put it all together and kind of ran with it. Perhaps in the wrong direction....I think I'll sit back and enjoy now. I have more rambles...but no time right now. I'm glad you liked them, I'll keep going until you tell me to stop!!! Seriously though: I. LOVE. THIS. STORY. It's all kinds of good. I hope you've got your internet up and running...it's always weird being unplugged. (Then again, you probably do and probably mentioned it...did I say I'm awesome at the whole attention to detail thing??? :-p) Talk to you soon! PS. I still haven't quite gotten the hang of this forum thing...I'll try to quote it better next time.

Can I just say: I f**king LOVE your writing. And this story...wow. Brilliant. And beautiful. And really awesome. Um...yeah, usually when I jump in to say something (very rarely) it tends to be a bit more...constructive. Or at least specific. So here goes: Bryce smirked. "Told you." He stretched lithely, knowing how Aure loved to watch the play of his muscles. Elementals did not have muscles. "Want me to be all animalistic and stuff?" "Is there a choice in the matter?" This was no time for jokes. "Not really," Bryce answered. -Favorite part so far. I laughed out loud-which was kind of awkward because I was sitting alone at the computer-and had to reread it. Twice. :-) And the fact that it was completely obscure and totally an "inside joke" (as in, only the characters knew what was going on) made it all the more richer when you detailed out his attack. Love it. It's that whole showing-not-telling kind of thing that really makes me respect authors...and one talent that I think is so hard to find. The chapter titles? AWESOME. It's such an amazing attention to detail. Like you warned, this story is dark. And tough. There's a ton of shit that's going on-characters, history, whole other world thing...it's easy to get bogged down. And I usually don't pay attention to the titles of chapters because, come on, really what is their relevance nine times out of ten-but you? They're so funny! And oddly appropriate. They add much needed relief to the tension you've so skillfully built up. My favorite(s): Elementals are Scary, Vampires Suck and Who is What Again? The other thing I've enjoyed about them is how they add voice to the characters-or at least they do in my head. I think it was "Elementals are Scary" (title, not actual chapter) that clued me into the fact that Kynan really is younger than how he tries to come across. I don't know if any of that was intentional, but I hope it continues. Oh and the whole Kynan being the Queen's son thing...the only place to actually confirm that suspicion (as of now) is here in the forum. However, the hints are super subtle, and totally there. Again, it's been just another way you've told the story so wonderfully without revealing anything outright. I agree with some of the other posts...sections of the retelling history parts are a little long, but I'm kind of on the fence as to how much they get in the way. Sometimes a lag in story is what you have to sacrifice/put up with when you read fantasy. I think it goes with the genre (?). Then again, I really have no idea what I'm talking about. (Hence the screen name.) What makes me read the things like back history or "passages from ancient texts" is the payoff in the end-in other words, if it holds relative information, or is a constant in the story, I will not only tolerate them, but actually pay close attention. I hope events do reveal the importance of those passages...and if you'll allow, I'll go out on a limb and guess that they (the creation myth sections) probably have something to do with the prologue and Waylon. I'm dying to know who he is. :-) I thought Kynan was Waylon for two seconds and then Kynan went and got all young. Now I really have no idea...I'd say Bryce but that doesn't really add up...and for awhile I thought it was Duncan, but he's so clueless...then again, I might be totally off my rocker thinking Waylon is even the story. I tend to get these ideas in my head that send me off on these tangents that have no basis in reality what so ever....(It makes reading good clean fun, let me tell you. :-p) Ahem. Back to what I enjoy about this story: The voices. Again, that's another element I think is hard to pull off: writing unique voices for each character. Especially when there are so many. But each one has it's own tone and feel. It's a beautiful thing when an author can pull off giving characters character without listing character traits. (In other words: see the whole showing not telling sentence at the beginning of this rant.) One fact I'm not totally clear on and too lazy to go back and try to find: Does the prince know that Kynan is a half-demon? Is that why Kynan has to restrain himself so much? (Don't actually answer that second part...I have a feeling it will reveal itself. :-p) And are Touched mixed with any race (i.e. demonic) or just those races of light? And how rare are they? I got a little confused about the uniqueness/importance of Duncan-is it because he's Touched? Or is it that his mixed ancestry is directly from the Ancients? I think I have to reread that part more carefully. Other things I can't get enough of (specifically from this chapter, if I included all the others, THIS would turn into a novel...): The conflict within Kynan: He was a monster and he wept into Alan's neck and hair. (Seriously, BEAUTIFUL!) Alan's unconditional and ultimate trust in Kynan's goodness: Alan smiled his lopsided smile, Kynan's profound relief making the expression even dearer to him." Can we do that again?" whispered Alan." Hell, no!" snapped Kynan, but he laughed anyway. "You crazy wolf -- you scared the f**king shit out of me!" (And their fondness for one another.) The amazing way you build up tension (i.e. Kynan's dark broodiness) then ease it with something totally out of the blue but completely in character: The pup cocked his head slightly, one ear forward, one back. He stretched his nose towards Kynan and licked his ankle with a sticky tongue. "Augh!" exclaimed Kynan, yanking his foot away, and staring at Alan. "I cannot believe you just did that! That's so gross." (Again, I laughed.) So, yeah, I could go on. And on. And on....but that would be awkward...or something. :-p So instead I'll end with this: I'm so happy that you didn't drag out the relationships too long-it makes them part of the story as opposed to THE story-it's just nice. I LOVE the bond you've already created (and yes, I use BOND purposfully-it has something to do with Alan's soul almost being ripped out-right? Maybe???) between Alan and Kynan. But the connection between Bryce and Aure is pure writing gold. Made all the sweater by foreboding you dropped in chapter 12. So that's all the review I'll do for now...I tend to not write these things because I get pretty excited and run the risk of sounding stalkerish...anywho...point of all of this is, I really enjoy your writing and look forward to seeing more! Thank you! (Also, review or forum? Which one do you prefer?)

My two cents...for what it's worth (probably not a lot at this point... :-): What do you mean by "likeable?" To me, it's the complex characters-those who could go either way-that give depth to the story. The characters I prefer to read about are those who you root for because of their circumstances despite the fact they might not be top notch people. I like Zen off the bat-because he's flawed and yet still seems to hold himself to a high standard. The not wanting to fight but having to is what drew me in so quickly. My attention was held until the end-something I've found to be rare for online stories, but something you manage to do so well. As for the confusing part...I think things will be fleshed out more as you go. One of the things you do so well is to show NOT tell what's going on. That's not an easy thing to do, and sometimes it feels like it's even harder to find. It's not about laying out the story from the get go, but rather, it takes a hint there and a nod here and suddenly, before you know it, the picture unfolds. That kind of writing puts demands on the reader-it's not sloppy and so you can't get away with just skimming it. It's also, in my opinion, one of the reasons why your writing draws people in so well; as a reader you don't have the option not to pay attention. Again, I'll take a complex, well written story that takes a few chapters to get footing over a simple, cliche one any day of the week. So I know I said this before, but clearly I've become more invested in this that I intended: I vote yes. Do I get two by the way??? :-p

Oh you had better keep going! :-p Please! I LOVE all of your stories...all of your characters. I hate WIP, but I always read yours because they are just that good (and you've done a good job at not abandoning them). I also don't usually review-and really need to do something longer to give your stories justice-but, well, I figured the need was immediate. So I vote for YES!! This has the potential to be different and different is always (well, most of the time) good. :-)

I did that and nothing comes up under Stories. I'm having trouble finding stories for anyone at this point...any help would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

Wow. That's all kinds of awesome...and seeing as how, like Cia, I currently identify as most of the things on that list, I wonder what special section of Hell I'll get??? :-)

Like the post above me, I'm coming on this pretty late. (Congrats on becoming a hosted author by the way!!) First, off I whole heartily agree with all the compliments on your writing. You so eloquently and succinctly express your thoughts in a way that makes me, well slightly envious. As a lurker who pretty much just observes from afar, I vacillate between "struggling" to identify with a label, and deciding to just f*** it-who really cares anyway? But this post struck a chord with me about my own journey with labels and sexuality. When I was growing up, I had the fantasy of finding a boyfriend, getting married, having kids, and a car, and a dog, and "living happily ever after." There really wasn't room for any other narrative in my world view...coming from the small community I did, there really wasn't the option for there to be. I don't really remember when that view expanded, but gradually it did. In high school "sexuality" was two options: you were either gay or straight. Then came college, and suddenly, my world view expanded and I started lurking on line. Among other things, my best friend, who had been in a very serious relationship with a girl, came out (not to the surprise of anyone); my best girlfriend, who had come out in high school, fell in love with a guy; and I jumped on a whole new band wagon. This time, it was the "everyone's different degrees of bi" philosophy. At the time it was kind of a revelation of sorts. As we all do from time to time (or maybe it's just me0:)) I even prided myself on what "liberal" and "open" thinking I was engaging in. Oh my. I've since come to see that even that narrative is problematic. And, the issue I have with it really is more mathematical than anything. This is the progression as I see it: we (as in USAmerican "society") went from having just one point-or one option for the expression of sexuality: "straight" to having two: now you're either "straight" or "gay." Which opened up a lot of space for a lot of people, but still doesn't quite cut it. So, we throw in the line connecting the two points ("bi") and now we have a scale on which to place ourselves. However, that scale, or rather that line, is still confining and really doesn't, in my opinion, allow for all of the possibles ways sexuality can be expressed and experienced. You're still operating on a binary, you still really have only two (maybe three if you're lucky) options in that system. How in the world can only three possibilities account for the infinite number of ways that the human experience is expressed? Take my own internal reactions for a second. I am a female, I am very much a female and, while the identity of my gender is not in question, there are times, and ways in which I "identify" (if you can really call it that) as male-and, interestingly enough, sometimes it's sexual. And don't even get me started on the whole "asexual" aspect of my being. Because it is there (I've never had a "romantic" or "sexual" relationship of any kind with anyone for starters) along with strong sexual attraction to many people from many walks of life over the years. What then, is to be done with all of that? Should I just label myself as "confused" and go through the angst and worry of trying to "figure" out "what" I am, even though "what" I am changes moment to moment anyway? Personally, I would rather not. (I just wish I had the guts to actually live this...) Instead of trying to come up with labels and boxes that we can put ourselves and (even worse) others in, let's maybe add a third point, or rather another axis to the model above. Why not take binary system of black/white, right/wrong, yes/no, one/many, x/y and expand it so it's more spherical in nature-allowing for infinite points of expression along an infinite plane of possibility? It's kind of ironic, really, because I think I've come full circle in the quest for labels. Instead of putting everyone on the gay/straight/bi line, maybe a better "label" to have is that we're all sexual. And in that aspect of our humanity, we all have a myriad of ways to express and experience that sexual nature. (Including the negation of it.) Why can't we just leave it at that? Trust me, I understand the investment labels (it's one thing to say, another to do)...and how terrifying it is to break out of their grasp. They provide the illusion of safety and of ground. Unfortunately, they are no more than that- illusory; and, sadly, the tighter we grasp onto anything for safety, the more likely we are to cause harm-harm to ourselves and harm to others. So I just looked up to breathe and realized this was getting a little lengthy and soap-boxy. I think that's probably a good note to end on. Thank you for your writing and for getting the discussion rolling. And sorry for my rambling!

Okay, so first off I want to thank you for calling me out on stereotyping (my word there), and, in all honesty whether you intended to or not, challenged me to better articulate what I wanted to say. Most people who know me know that I don

Okay, so I'd thought I'd chime in. Should I do the whole intro thing...reading for awhile, really like the story, yada-yada-yada...or should I just jump in? Yeah, I think I'll just jump in..... Before I do say anything though, I feel that I should say I have absolutely no direct experience whatsoever about what it is I'm actually going to be commenting on. I'm not Asian, my family (including friends-yes that reference is significant) have always been accepting of whatever I do, and I've never been in-or even close to-in an intimate, romantic relationship. I'll be the first to admit that what I'm about to say mostly comes from my academic escapades in mental masturbation and sitting quietly on the sidelines than anything else. That said, the subject of "love" is something that I've grown quite passionate about-more specifically, how people "love." Perhaps one of the big issues here (maybe why people here are being so hard on Kan???) is that the US definition of love, and the rest of the world's definition of love are so different. We have this image that "love conquers all"- but what kind of love are we talking about? Honestly, when we look at it, more often than not, it's a very small, very perverted kind of love-it's the kind that always needs to be reassured, the kind that is defined and boxed in and ignores any other possibility of definition. It's a kind that static and doesn't bend-the kind that causes someone to wake up next to their partner of thirty years and make that absurd statement, "You're not the person I fell in love with." And I'm not saying that in this culture there is only that type of love, I'm just saying that of the infinate expressions and possiblities of love, the above is one model that is prevelant. In other words, just as Kan comes from a culture where honor, respect and tradition mean everything, so, too does he live in a country where love is seen as this static force that doesn't allow for the expression of anything else (family love, tradition love, for instance). What about a version of love that turns things around, that is built upon knowing, and being, where love is a verb instead of a noun, changing always. Where every moment is new and fresh and the possibilities are endless. Where I can love you without needed for you to love me back, where I can love you because of who you are and where you come from, not in spite of it. Where the importance of love doesn't have to be in tandem with that of breathing, but instead can be a compliment to living. Sorry, got a little off topic there....back to point: I thought Kan made himself very clear on where he stands, the problem is, as I think was covered nicely in the story, Beau can't relate. In this culture, LOVE is put above all else. (And, if you ask me, it's a slightly skewed version of what that term could potentially encompass.) How could he possibly understand the implications of what Kan is going through if all he's ever seen/been told is that if you only have love than you have everything. The rest of the world just doesn't operate like that-nor do I think it should, quite frankly. Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is forever, least of all romantic "love" - at least the way it's seen in this culture, the "I-love-you-if-you-love-me-together-forever." But if you think about it, things like tradition and family, albeit subject to the same laws of change, at least hold the illusion of being there always; especially if you come from a background where the above kind of love really doesn't exist (or, if it does, it plays a secondary role). (And that's to use an example that is shallow at best.) The implications of family and tradition run so much deeper than that. Kan has much more to loose, so much more at stake than I think Beau (or any of us who've grown up with images of prince charmings and happily ever after burned into our subconsciousness) could ever understand. Even if Beau was in a situation where his family disowned him, it wouldn't cup as deeply as Kan's loss. Yes, I understand what I'm implying (and I don't want to be little that experience for everyone), but there's a difference between loosing family and loosing family. Again it really comes down to a difference in definition and where the value is placed. I don't think any of us have to look very far to see that, at least in the US, honor and respect is way low on the totem pole-forget coming in second-especially when it comes to family. (Take this rant for example, how many paragraphs have I spent on the subject of "love"? Just sayn' is all...) Here our families are created and extended out and blood holds little meaning any more. I don't really think we get what it means to have "family" threatened-how can we? So I just took a breath and realized that I've rambled (or rather regurgitated) on for quite awhile. I'm really not even sure if any of this makes any sense. I think the bottom line of what I'm trying to say is that what Kan's doing with Beau isn't personal, it isn't giving false hope, it isn't stringing along-how can it be? And I've think you've conveyed that beautifully and even, dare I go there, tragically. There are a lot of things that are depressing in this world-one of the forefront in my opinion is the inability to see out of any other lens than the one's you've been given. In any case, thanks for giving me the opportunity to rant and rave. And thank you for your courage and for your story.

I found this and had to comment, it echoes my life? sentiments? ideals? so well. I say, f**k the game-any game. And it's not that you shouldn't play, it's that you shouldn't even go in the store to buy the damn thing in the first place. Of course, that's easier said than done; half the time I'm running back to the safety and comfort of what I think I know (i.e. what I've been conditioned to believe). No, it's not easy, but I have to look around me and believe that the alternative (i.e. The Plan) is just not worth it. I guess what I'm trying to say is congrats and good luck. Because someday, with enough of us out there, maybe we'll look around and realize not only have we changed the rules, but we've picked up a different pack of cards.

Yeah, me neither. Granted I'm half way around the world and practically one the equator, but still. I'm so jealous and so wish I was there! All of you out there who are buried 10 feet deep, enjoy the white fluffy stuff!!