PrivateTim

Brad has known Robbie what, all of 30 days? There is a difference between love, lust and infatuation. I get that everyone is different, but I don't get how you can say you are in love with someone and be with someone else so casually.

Brad is the one who couldn't commit to the relationship. Was he really in love with Robbie when he said it in Yosemite? If he had been he would not have blown Lark just days before. Love is willing the good of another and that means making sacrifices. If you are thinking about yourself, it ain't love. In 1980, when this story is set, a lot of relationships that started at 17 ended in marriage. The median age for marriage has skyrocketed since then. "I was a little, shall we say, assertive in explaining the morality of a man sleeping with a 16-year-old boy, but...." Ummm, excuse me Professor... over here.... ummm weren't you sleeping with a 17 year old boy named Jeff?? I pushed him back and jumped on top of him, forcing my lips onto his, grinding my body into his. He resisted, tried to fight me off, and clenched his mouth to block my kisses. I believe that is called "rape" and based on what Robbie has told Brad about his getting raped, then seeking it, but not really wanting it, Brad should be smarter than this and JP should get Robbie in therapy. “Sounds good,” I said, so we took the longer, more scenic route. Yeah, Stanfurd to the Malibu Colony is 571 miles on the 101 vs 569 on the 5. The time difference is about 3 minutes. 😂

It is incongruous that Brad has this self awareness about his shortcomings, but is unable to control himself. It was douchey to invite to invite the waiter to stay. That is Brad's horniness and he doesn't realize the misery he is setting up in the future between him and Robbie. Right now Robbie is piecing together that Brad cannot be relied on to control his dick. And again with the drinking too much, losing control and memories and puking and hungover. How hard is this to figure out? I got drunk my first semester of high school (water polo end of season beach party) and wound up puking my guts out after drinking Gallo Spañada. I didn't drink again until my junior year in high school. It was not hard to figure out.

“Cut him out of my life?” I asked. He nodded. “That seems a little cold to me. I have a feeling he's really going to need us in the near future. I don't think he's going to be able to stay in the closet.” Dewd, seriously? Jake let your father's partner fuck him, seduced Robbie after you told him you were into Robbie, but you worry about cutting him out of your life? That it seems cold? He is going to need help? What about Doug whose life you ruined? That wasn't cold? You threw him out of your PARENT'S party and he needs help. Pull your head out broski.

Brad doesn't care. Brad is all about himself. If I was falling for a guy, I wouldn't fuck anyone else or fool around with anyone else, but Brad is too much of a selfish bastard for that. I also again fail to see the attraction of drinking too much. You puke your guts out, feel like crap the next day, make an ass of yourself and make very poor decisions.

Have I ever mentioned how fucked up I think Brad is? It is okay for Brad to fuck Jake, but not Robbie somehow. Regardless of whatever Jake's deal is, Brad went through all kinds of mental gymnastics to justify fucking Jake, but he's pissed/butt hurt that Robbie is? Brad feels compassion and sorry for Sam, who is his father's partner, but caught him fucking a 16 year old; yet he is pissed off and has ZERO compassion for Doug, who DID NOTHING TO HIM, other than freak out over the sex he and Brad had. And for that Brad tells huge whopping lies about him in an attempt to hurt him. Hell, it could be downright dangerous, what he did to Doug, BUT it is fucked up Sam he feels sorry for. THEN Brad is unhappy with Doug because BRAD wants to classify him as gay. That isn't Brad's place. People get to self identify on their sexuality and no one can tell them otherwise. To do so is a form of bigotry. So no, Brad did not score any points with me this chapter.

Ah, I so remember the Emporium in San Francisco. So many great department stores of my youth have closed, Liberty House, Bullock's/Bullock's Wilshire, Marshall Field's, Wanamaker's, Gimbel's, and many more and now they are all effing Macy's.... pisses me off. Speaking of pissed off.... what is up with Brad? Just because Robbie is gone when he wakes up he freaks out? And then treats Robbie like shit? Dude's got major problems.

I am surprised more of the Hayes clan aren't in prison. Not sure how Brad made the leap from Robbie visiting to Robbie moving permanently. Gail was fun, and her time isn't up yet.

I am trying to figure out what it that Lark brings to the friendship with Brad. He seems to be mostly a pain in the ass. And when do we get an update on Doug? I think Brad made a mistake in talking to Jake about him. These people talk too much in general.

“I don't know. I like him, and I thought we had something special, but then he acts like he wants to fuck every guy he runs into, One of the most ironic lines ever spoken in the CAP series from the guy who is so into every new guy who comes along. "that we have a new ‘cousin’ who is hot as hell and turns me on like no one I've ever met" How many more time will Brad say that is the next 13 CAP books? Sam never should have been part of the story because John Paul should not have been fucking his TA; not his first TA, not Tom and not Sam. It was fine to pick up the bellhop, but once the bellhop turned out to be his TA, JP should have cut it off. I don't get how Jake goes from Claire's friend to deep closeted gay boyfriend of Brad to flaming slut boy in two weeks.

Brad needed to have a conversation with Jake. Jake has gotten TOO comfortable around gay people and with his sexuality, but the "but" is I can't imagine a guy who is so deep in the closet, and been hiding it so long, is suddenly going to switch off the façade. I guess no one knew, meaning none of the kids, that Jeff was biologically Billy's father? The kids knew Jeff, I assume they've met Frank before, surely they would have seen the resemblance?

Brad can piss me off, but not like Will can. Many of the CAP characters are too cavalier about being open with their sexuality and having money and privilege. At least Brad has known a lot of pain, even if he was younger. He should be able to sympathize with Jake and where he is coming from; what the consequences of being outed could mean.

I don't like Lark, never will. And I don't trust him.

Hey if Brad had been put in therapy in 1980 the CAP series would have been considerably shorter 😂 But I agree with the rest. The way to stay in the closet is to stay in the closet; telling Lark and blowing a sophomore in the light of day, stone cold sober ain't the way to stay in the closet. Of the guy in middle school and high school I had sex with (sex being mutual hand jobs and blow jobs), only three didn't involve alcohol. Two of the three, my cousin and a neighbor boy, we started very young (read naïve and horny) and didn't know any better at the time. By the time we figured out boys weren't supposed to that with each other, it was too late. We liked it too much to stop and we were dating girls pretty normally anyway. The third guy was the neighbor boy's best that he'd been doing stuff with him in parallel with doing stuff with me, just like I was doing stuff with cousin. My cousin, neighbor boy and I were 12 when we starting doing stuff together. The friend jumped in at about our freshman year of high school. I did stuff with these guys 4-6 years and not once did we ever talk about it, we just did it and it was well understood no one would ever know about it. The others guys I fooled around with always involved alcohol so we could pretend it was the alcohol fueling our hormones and nothing else. And again, it was never talked about what we did, we acted as if it never happened. As far as I know, each of the guys was straight, is now married and has kids. I suspect a lot of our classmates were doing the same. If one believes the studies, 40%+ of boys had a same sex encounter before 21 in the 1950s and 60s. I'd suspect that number is even higher today. The point being, EVERYONE kept it all very quiet and I suspect still do. Brad is stupid to not keep things quiet.

Mark is nearly 80? 😄🤣 THAT won't please him... As to Doug, he isn't worried about Brad being gay, he is butt hurt over Brad's behavior at the party and frankly, I don't blame him, as I laid out in the last chapter.

I grew up in the same circles that Brad did, albeit 15 years later, but the same type people, education levels, wealth, etc and almost no one I knew spoke French. The guys I knew who spoke foreign languages spoke their family languages, which means I had friends who spoke Italian, Armenian/Russian, Greek and Persian. Within a few years that expanded to Spanish and Mandarin, but still no fluent French speakers. We could all order off a French menu and sound like we knew what we were doing, but the same was true at Japanese restaurants. But back to Brad. What is with the fucked up men of CAP? First off Brad promised Stef he would not do cocaine, and we know how Stef hates to be lied to. Second, I understand that high school kids drink, but most do it sneaking around, I think it is completely wrong that Stef takes two 17 year olds to a Hollywood party and gives them the okay to drink. I think it is completely irresponsible. I knew kids in high school whose parents supplied the alcohol for their parties. The guys I was friends with and hung around and I thought those were douchebag parents, not cool parents. Third, if I had gone to an adult party with the object of my lust, someone I was just getting to know and liked, and had done the things with him that Brad already has, no way do I let him out of my sight at the party. I'd be on him like his little shadow and never leave his side; not clingy, but subtle. I sure as hell wouldn't be impressed by a B actor (except of course Mark-Paul Gosselaar or Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the objects of many JO sessions). Maybe it happens in the next chapter, but if I was Brad, I so would have so had a driver take Doug down to Newport so he could show me his favorite spots to surf, maybe even hang with a few of his old friends. Very last, I'd think Stef would have insisted Brad use protection, based on Stef's experiences in the Hollywood sex scene. While AIDS not named yet, it was certainly already in LA. The Dallas star that Brad fucked was a Hollywood fuck boy and would be dead from AIDS before the end of the decade.

From the very first chapter and first time I read this book I didn't like Lark and still don't. One of the things I remember from high school so clearly was that I didn't have any desire to kiss any guys or make out with them, because that was just so gay. Mind you, it wasn't gay that I'd traded blow jobs with a bunch of my friends ever since I was 12, but kissing a guy, no way; that was straight up homo shit. I also lost my cherry near the end of my freshman year, and while I wasn't obsessed with pussy like half my friends, I wasn't adverse to getting laid with chicks, and still would not, if I was single. Brad self identifies as gay, but doesn't seem to have any issues getting hard and having sex with women. I have gay friends who can't even stand the sight of a naked woman; that isn't Brad.

I forgot to add that I found Stef's admission or self awareness on becoming more flamboyant since becoming Greg's "wife" interesting, maybe even annoying. Most of the flamers I know have always been flamers. They were the kid in 3rd grade you were sure were going to be gay, because they were so gay already, without the sex part. Then there were the guys who got flamey after they came out. It was like they were conforming to an old stereotype. So the question is, why did Stef get more flamey, if it wasn't his natural personality?

I know we had this discussion in the forums on the old site, but I don't see any way Ace, Brad, Claire and Billy would go to public school. In a family that values education so much and is as wealthy as JP is, I think all the kids would have gone to Menlo. If Ace was a star athlete, he might have gone to Sacred Heart Prep, which had the outstanding sports programs. I also don't see the attraction to drugs that freak you out and make you throw up. I get the pot, the way JP uses it to relax and mellow out, but he isn't getting baked to the max every night. I never got 'shrooms, acid, ludes and X and really didn't understand coke, but I knew lots of guys who did like them.

I am very critical of people who think with their dicks and make very poor decisions as a result. Greg was greatly diminished in my eyes because of his philandering, even more so than Roger. Roger had deep seeded psychological issues; Greg was just a stupid horndog. Of the people who've been in the orgy rooms at Jackie's and then Greg's, I bet 70-80% are dead from AIDS in 10 years. They were people who believed their lifestyle choices had no consequences physically, emotionally or socially and they were wrong. I've always thought it would be a blast to be at the 1950's/early 60's gay weekends in the walled homes and backyard of Cary Grant, Liberace, Alan Ladd and the rest. Those days seemed more sedate than the late 60's to 70's when the scene was like the one at Jackie's parties. I have to reread Millennium and 9-11 soon, after Be Rad and Man in Motion, but I don't remember Ace having a big part in them. Even though Ace is straight, I'd have expected him to have a big part in 9-11, post the attacks, based on how tight he and Brad were. Childhood bonds like that are strong. I'd also expect Ace to have had a bigger role in Will's life, as uncles do. As I alluded to earlier, I am sorry to see the jump in time, 1974 to 1980. I am greedy, I would have liked two more books in between to see Brad and Ace grow, Stef and Greg to get deeper and Roger's success as California wines explode on the scene. I also seriously don't remember what becomes of Armand, but I do hope it isn't bad.

Curious if this shooting was based on an actual event or if it is strictly poetic license.

I meant to mention it last chapter.... while sometimes I think the later books move too glacially, weeks or months at a time vs the 5 and six year jumps of the early books, I wish we'd seen Brad at 11, 12 and 13; the real coming of age years. By Be Rad he is so different from the shy boy in this story.

I guess I have to reread Be Rad to figure out where Brad stops wanting to be an animator. As he gets older does he feel unspoken familial pressure and that is why he goes to Yale instead of Cal Arts? The famous Escorial pot is mentioned, but not Mike? Is he still tending the plants and Isidore?

Prime example of how fucked up these people are. Stef is a mess. How can someone be so smart allegedly, and so completely unable to control his dick and his emotions. Stef is 28 now, not a high school, or even college kid. If I'd had the person I thought I was madly in love with ask me to move in, sex with someone else wouldn't even appeal to me. I have lots of people I've been infatuated with, even more I've been in lust over, but only three or four people I was really in love with and only two of the four loved me back in the same way I loved them. To be fair, there were two others who loved me more than I loved them, but I knew neither one was "the one". I could have built a life with either, but it would have left me feeling unfulfilled. Stef has been madly in love three times in this book so far; intensely and crazily so. I don't think love, real love can happen in four months.

When did Stef turn into such a wussy? He has businesses to run; he has family obligations to Gail and Brad and all he is really doing is trying to bury memories of Roger. And then there is Roger. Who is tending the vineyards while he is being a house boy?