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LJH

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  1. LJH
    As an editor of fiction, (in South Africa there aren’t many), I have come across manuscripts that belong at the bottom of the slush pile, manuscripts with a literal value, manuscripts that are mediocre, entertaining, and some downright sloppy.
     
    At times I value the plot, other times the characters, but, in the end, it doesn’t matter what I value, essentially the publisher has the last say. All I do is make sure that the manuscript is as perfect as it can be the moment it lands on the publisher’s desk.
     
    My view of perfection must always be linear to the writer’s view of perfection. You might argue and say, Well, I’m writing for myself. By all means do so, and make sure that you stash it in a drawer, with all the other manuscripts you have written that will never see the light of day. If you are writing for yourself, please, please do keep it to yourself.
     
    However, if you wish to share your writing with a workshop group, or editor, and you wish to grow through the process of learning the craft, by all means I will do my best to make sure your writing is handsome to the eye.
     
    With this in mind, there are words that I never want to see in a novel.
     
    I make a list of the author’s favourite words, these are words that the author uses repeatedly.
     
    In many manuscripts I mark the margin with something like: Be careful of this word, it is used repeatedly throughout the chapter. A word like JUST. It is used in dialogue so often that the author is not aware that he has repeated it 45 times in a chapter. The warning will be something like this: JUST – try to stay away from using this word, it tends to be repetitive. I am reducing all JUST’s.
     
    Other repetitive words include: SO, WELL (especially at the beginning of sentences, and often used in dialogue), SMIRK, THE FACT THAT.
     
    The following qualifiers and verbs: A BIT, A LITTLE, FAIRLY, HIGHLY, BACK, LOOK, KIND OF, MOSTLY, PRETTY, QUITE, RATHER, ACTUALLY, REALLY, SLIGHTLY, SOMEWHAT, SOMETHING, SORT OF, THAT WHICH, AS WELL,THOUGH, LOVERLY, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE, HORRIBLE, NASTY, TERRIBLE, SILLY, COMELY. THE REASON WHY. THEN (too many). THAT (too many).
     
    The list goes on and on. These words do not convey what the writer is seeing. He sees something terrible but doesn’t allow the reader to see it. He sees a beautiful man or woman, but fails to convey the beauty. If the writer uses any of the 5 senses to convey the last nine words in the list, then he will have succeeded in showing the reader, instead of telling the reader what he/she is seeing.
     
    Another pet peeve of mine is WOULD OF, instead of would have, COULD OF, instead of could have.
     
    Body parts that act on their own: HER HAND WAVED, instead of He/she waved.
     
    LOOK and GAZE. These two verbs are so overused in all writing, including mainstream. There are better words to use, that is why there is such a thing called a thesaurus.
     
    The words BEGAN TO and STARTED TO. In good writing, there is no beginning. The characters just DO IT. Which is better? He began to scream or He screamed? The horse started to gallop up the hill or The horse galloped up the hill?
     
    Leave out the word THEN as much as possible. Why? Most things happen sequentially anyway.
     
    He THOUGH TO HIMSELF. Well, who would he think to other than himself? TO HIMSELF is redundant. Delete it.
     
    There are so many words that I scream at. Unnecessary articles, a/an/the. Whole cliché’s. Unnecessary words. Roundabout and indirect words. Redundant words and phrases like THE SKY ABOVE. The sky is above. Everyone knows that. (I should hope so). Unnecessary possessives like: She held up the diamonds, (her) eyes gleaming.
     
    Other words I dislike are: SO AS. UH OH. VERY. SUDDENLY.
     
    I AM SAT HERE. (It’s true that someone may have sat you there) but it should be I am sitting here.
     
    Why do I dislike all of the above? They call attention to themselves. The moment a reader starts noticing repetition, he/she is no longer lost in your story. When the reader begins to play with his commitment ring after the tenth THE FACT THAT, you’ve lost a reader.
     
    I am not against using any of the above in dialogue. Dialogue exists to show character and to move the story forward, it exists to create conflict. But if I find these words used repeatedly in the narrative, most of them will be deleted.
     
    Churchill once said: This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
     
    I second this.
     
    If your manuscript is riddled with all of the above, then it’s not ready for an editor. Your work is not finished until you have these all ironed out. When I say ironed out, I mean that you should play with the sentences. Never rush. Especially if you are writing for an audience. I dislike rushed work. I can see it immediately from reading the first paragraph. Make your sentences crisp, clear and precise. Clarity and precision are paramount. Rewrite that troublesome sentence 100 times if you must, but please get it right. Not for the editor, not for the publisher, do it for yourself.
     
    Have a juggernaut weak, and should I not great, my hand will wave from where I am sat.
     
    Hugs
  2. LJH
    I read today that that Thomas Hitzlsperger has outed himself. Thomas is a retired soccer star who once played for Everton, West Ham and Germany and had a mean left goal kick. I admire any celebrity who outs themselves because mostly it paves the way for other celebrities to come out, and break the barriers between what is PERCEIVED to be normal and what is not perceived to be normal.
     
    But, I do have concerns. Sport is not the domain of baby makers. Sport belongs to everyone. Heterosexuals are under the impression that sport belongs to them alone. They should get over it. Get a life. Make more gay babies. I understand the reason behind a celebrity who comes out, as I am sure we all do. Michael Johnson who once sat on the Football Association's Advisory Board, has stated that homosexuality is detestable. He fails to recognise that one infallible rule: Sport is Not Exclusive to Heterosexuals.
     
    Celebrities fear the backlash. The media prey on stories like this. It is BIG news.
     
    Tom Daley (Olympic diver)
    Anton Hysen (Swedish footballer)
    Jason Collins (US basketballer)
    Nicola Adams (British boxer)
    Orlando Cruz (Puerto Rica boxer)
    Robbie Rogers (US footballer)
    Billie Jean King
    Navratilova
    And others et al.,
     
    They are not only stars in their own right, but are standing examples for the gay community. And make no bones about it, the gay community needs stars. And why not? The heterosexual world has its stars. However, in order for us to have our stars, they must twinkle, in other words, come out.
     
    But why? Thomas states:
    ‘I’m coming out about my homosexuality because I want to move the discussion about homosexuality among professional sportspeople forwards.’ He also states that '...coming out is taboo in the dressing room...'
     
    We are living in the 21st Century. Heterosexuals force us to come out because they regard homosexuality as an evil. Taboo. Etc. Disregarding the fact that we are more than able to play sport, or sing, or act and win. They regard themselves as holier than thou when they themselves are prone to more crime, more evil, more perversion than homosexuals. They would be, they are in the majority.
     
    Still, why?
     
    Here is a comment by a reader of Thomas's outing:
     
    A person's sexuality is immaterial to any sport and, quite frankly, nobodies business but their own. You make an effort when you play and give your all to the supporters then you'll do for me. It's 2014 and it's far past the time when people should have moved on and grown up about it. There's no bravery in coming out, there's a warped ideology in the World that makes an issue where none belongs but bravery? No. It's nothing more than being "allowed" by society to actually just be yourself. I don't think society should be empowered with the perceived "right" to make somebody feel they have to explain themselves in their choice of partner, whatever their preference, any more so than "allowing" somebody to fall in love with a blonde, brunette, blue eyes or brown etc etc. So long as it's consenting adults then, frankly, the World in general should keep their nose firmly out of it. It's time we all collectively said in one voice. "Move on. Nothing to see here."
     
    And another reader states:
     
    We live in a largely ignorant and judgemental world where any difference is perceived as a weakness and attacked. That is why there are probably still many more athletes who would perhaps like to be openly gay but are too sacred about the potential consequences and stigma. Hopefully those that have recently made the decision to come out will make it easier for anyone else who is considering doing so.
     
    By moving on, does it mean that we all will EVENTUALLY have the right to be what we want to be? So then parents will not disown us, the army will not send us for aversion shock therapy, we will not be jailed, we will not be put to death, we will not be bullied at school or university, our parents will accept us and we won't commit suicide.
     
    When that day comes, please wake me up.
     
    I admire David Cameron's tweet to Thomas:
    As an #AVFC fan, I've always admired what Thomas Hitzlsperger did on the pitch - but I admire him even more today. A brave & important move.
     
     
    I say that homophobia is an illness. It should be treated as such. Maybe a few years in a mental health institution. Maybe straight aversion therapy for homophobics.
     
    I say our sexuality is just as important as a heterosexual's sexuality and we should offer no apology for being homosexual. Straights don't go around saying, " Listen mate, I am sorry but I'm straight.' Straights don't go around saying, 'hi, my name is so and so and I am straight.' So, why should we? But we do. Not all of us. But we do.
     
    I remember the day when a customer brought her son with her to buy books in my store. We got to chatting and she wanted to know if I was married. I told her yes. She said she would like to meet my wife. I told her I'm married to a man, not a woman. Her son, about 15 years old retorted: 'Wow! Mom, a real gay person, that's amazing, mom.' His mom smiled and said, 'Yes, it is amazing.'
     
    That made my day.
     
    Thomas Hitzlsperger, thank you.
  3. LJH

    Step Up

    By LJH,

    I am passionate about anything Book. Writing. Editing. Collecting. Selling. Being the owner of a mobile book store, I travel a lot over weekends and meet many bookworms. This last weekend, after setting up our store, I did something to measure people's reactions; I placed the Gay section right next to the Children's section. I knew there would be reaction, and let me tell you, some were funny, others mumbled and grumbled. Two customers looked shocked. One customer mumbled "disgusting" and walked out, and another customer approached me with, "you should move that gay section away from where it is". Two customers, one pushing a pram, laughed about it. One customer shut his son's eyes with the palm of his hand. One child asked mommy, "What is gay, mom?" to which she answered; "Gay people come home from a party at five o clock in the morning..."
     
    What?!!!!
     
    It sounded hysterical.
     
    The covers were not explicit with nude males, maybe just one. But it's not a full frontal. Just his torso. On the whole, I sold a lot more gay books than ever before, so guess where I will place them next weekend. Right.
     
    On to last week's editing requests. JL Alberto, Scotty94 and Cole Matthews are looking for help with their stories. Scotty stepped up and volunteered to beta for Cole Matthews, so a great big hug and shout out to Scotty. Thank you.
     
    I posted a paragraph in the Editor's Corner on Saturday about Ghost Editors, and I want to repeat it here: Once you have purchased the editor title from the store (free), please step up to help our writers. This doesn't just apply to editors and betas, it applies to authors who are able to edit. Don't be shy. Just step up. We need you.
     
    Here is a tip for writers: there are a lot of articles on grammar, punctuation and the rules they follow in the Editor's Corner, why not take a look at these fine articles by fine writers and editors like Libby Drew and Cia? You might find an article on comma usage, or how not to end your sentence with prepositions. Maybe you struggle with the words Get and Let. Too many Thats and Thens in your story? These articles are valuable and really help the writer out of a jam.
     
    So, until next week, on behalf of Joann414 and the editorial team, have a great week and remember, please step up to help us.
  4. LJH

    Hell

    By LJH,

    What is hell?
    No partner? Living with a partner, lover, paramour? Living with an incurable ailment? Writers block? Rejection slips from publishers? Losing a chapter because you forgot so save your work?
    Hell no.
    Hell is being without Wi-fi.
    Suddenly, everything you want to do on the internet, is put on hold. Like quarantine. Like Jail. Like sitting in a doctor's consulting room waiting for bad news. Life is put on the backburner. All that is left is the miserable 3G byte gobbling service on your cell phone.
     
    I have made arrangements to purchase a new contract. The service provider offers the most lucrative deal against other service providers. 20 gigs a month for under R200.00. They have given me a pin and authorisation number, however, the router has not arrived. They are waiting for stock.
     
    Projects are on hold.
     
    The writers for whom I edit, will have to wait. My own writing projects are on hold. My daily curiosity of surfing the net to find wonder stories of authors who have hit the big time, is also on hold. As an agent for some authors, I am unable to communicate with publishing houses, and lastly, my own book site, one that requires daily maintenance, cannot be accessed.
     
    Hell.
     
    But, hey, things are not that bad. I still have my life-saving I-phone.
     
    I looked at a couple of gay sites yesterday, just to get a feel of what these sites are promoting. Now, I like erotic stories, no doubt about that, but do you think I could find one site that didn't have the same sex disclaimer, urging the reader to move on if he/she does not agree with male to male or female to female sex.
     
    My question is this: Why the disclaimer?
     
    Do straight sites say if you do not agree with male to female sex, move on?
     
    Nope. They don't. So why should we? In a world that is more accepting of gays than ever before, I don't see the necessity. However, having said that, I do realize that there are some countries and states that are intellectually and morally restricted, those states and countries that outlaw gays, and so I can live with that. Barely so.
     
    A story is just that, a story. Straight or gay or transgendered. If a straight person comes across a gay sexually graphic story on the internet, and if that person is shocked, naturally he will move on. If he stays and reads, well, that is his choice.
     
    And it really is all about choice.
     
    But being without Wi-fi is hell.
     
    Oh, and before I forget, we are always on the lookout for new Editors and beta readers. Without them, many stories will never see the light of day. If you are interested, give us a shout, we need you. I cannot link you to my name LJH or Joann414, because this is written from my cell phone.
     
    Have a great week.
  5. LJH
    After having read Stephanie's heartwarming novel about three men consistently intertwined in each other's lives, I paused to consider what I should say in the review. It took just on six hours to read the book. It could have taken four or maybe five hours without interruptions.
     
    To say that I was swept away by emotion would be an understatement. To say that Stephanie's characters engaged me in a three dimensional sense would be an understatement. I was transported into Phillip's world and yes, I will admit here and now, I too fell in love with him.
     
    I reflected on this beautiful story ahttp://www.gayauthors.org/forums/files/file/48-for-the-heart-of-phillip/nd it didn't take me long to know what I would write in my review. I wanted to write something that other reviewers miss.
     
    Now, we all are capable of writing a review. Many of us don't go further than: What a lovely story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Can't wait to read more. All good. But this is just a comment, not a review. To write a review we must dig deep. Come up with an eloquent discourse of how the story affected the reviewer, touch on characters - how did they make you feel? Settings. Scenes. Climax and anti- climax. Everyone will have a different way of expressing their thoughts and feelings about the story.
     
    Then I remember one simple truth: There are readers, and there are reviewers. I am both. But when a story as good, as rich, as fullfilling as For the Heart of Phillip, hooks me, i have no option but to praise the author in ways that other readers or reviewers have missed.
     
    I hope you will read the book. I hope you will be transported into the deep. For the full review please visit the eBook page, contemporary fiction.
     
    http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/files/file/48-for-the-heart-of-phillip/
     
    I was. And it made my weekend.
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