VampireMystic

She may be the character we know least about. Except for the father. We see her less, we'll let her win. we don't know what might be in her background. There might be some watershed moment in her past that completely informs her behavior. The fact that she stands her ground in that kitchen and lets him go makes him go, almost entirely redeems her so far for me. It may in fact be a sign of exactly the waking up you are wanting to see. As others have said, disappearing reappearing supporting characters are something to watch out for. (I'm aware I'm commenting on the early chapters of something that goes much further ahead. This is just a general point.) The supporting characters need to be, even if only for the author, almost as real and permanent as the leads. I believe this, I struggle with this. There is a breach of characterization that bothers me. The father. If he is a control freak, how come he didn't notice the basement was clean. I expected him to go down and check it just to make sure it was exactly the punishment he had in mind, even if he only looked that morning. I expected either: he would argue the point that it couldn't have been Zack that had done it. Somehow corner Zack with his lie that night about the bathroom. Or accuse him of lying about being the one who cleaned it. Or that he would see it and trash it so that Zack had to clean it again. and catch him "lying"about it being clean However, the bastard is human and arrogant and it's not impossible that it could happen exactly the way it did, simply because he was too self-assured to check. I consider myself an extremely open-minded optimist. in fact I teeter on the edge of plummeting into negativity. I'm entirely more ready to overestimate my villains. This probably only stood out to me because I'm a vicious scourge upon the lives of my characters. ( maybe it was a writing prompt I picked up somewhere, but I sometimes imagine what it would be like to meet my characters. As interesting as that might be, the fantasy usually turns into a Lynch Mob) I don't know. I had more to say I think but I'll leave it on a funny note.

Uhh Comsie, Sir? Wasn't there something about Adam's cousin's sister's something, someone letting them in the side door of the theater so they didn't have to pay? Hehe

keep in mind that this is been going on for about 6 years by this point. If behavioral changes are subtle enough, over a length of time, rhey just become the new normal and don't stand out. People have an intense ability to rationalize. If someone believes, for example, that fathers don't hurt Sons, they will rationalize a great deal rather than question that essential belief. Same if they truly deeply believe that certain things can't happen to people they know, that they only happened elsewhere. I'm not defending the mother explicitly, but I am telling you this is reasonable. As a character, we don't know anything about the mother or her background. She may have something in her that leads her to stay silent even if she suspects rather than confront. As for teachers, also keep in mind that we don't explicitly know when this is happening. teachers and other stuff we're trained a lot differently when the PlayStation 1 was in its Heyday if that's what we're dealing with. Also, if this is a large school the teachers probably have too much on their plate just doing their job. They may not have enough time with any individual student to notice details. Also, Zack himself is working to deliberately mask the emotions obfuscate evidence. So far, we haven't even seen a single direct conversation between Zach and an instructor. They may suspect, that something is wrong, but without more evidence or direct testimony they probably don't have enough to even begin something. Sigh. Okay. Umm... Look, a squirrel!

The last line is the kind of emotional Cliffhanger that could have ended this if it was one shot.

Oh. Misremembered something somewhere. Thanks. Still feels like too little time left. But that's my issue. I'll probably have a 12-hour writing binge this weekend and create it. XP

I have the entire plot for an anthology piece. Missed the whole 1500 word challenge thing because... life. Fortunately, the life stuff inspired the plot for the even better idea. I think I'm going to have to write the scenes out of sequence, I can't quite find the point of attack to begin writing the opening as intended. Nothing I have in my Vault that might be long enough to be a novella is summer themed. At the rate I'm going everything I'm working on will be done at the same time... in a bad way.

*Stands* "Hi, my name is VampireMystic, and I'm a Comicality fan. It's been 0 minutes since I got to the end of something. One-shots are safer. Beginning middle end, all right there. This was a series though, so now I've got that hunger. For another one. Trust me folks, vampire is in my name, I know Hunger. *Comedy drum sting* It won't subside until the next chapter. Little chance of freedom until it's officially 'complete.' (Not just moving to another book. Sit down, GFD. You too, Billy), I mean done. Finished. Resolved. End credits. The End. What can scare me, as a Comicality fan looking forward to finally 'knowing,' is the idea that when I finally read THE END I'll be glued to my seat, scanning the credits, hoping, even after all the... everything... it took to get to this point (anyone else hearing Uma Thurman as Quentin Tarantino's The Bride right now? Squirrel!) Ahem. *checks notecard* What scares me, is that when I finally see this: THE END I might be looking for: ..? So, why risk another hunger? Simple: I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. (and that's all I have to say about that.) I wanted to know, I thought I knew, then I thought I missed the point completely, and now I'm waiting for the next chapter. *sits* Meeting leader: "Well, thanks for sharing... so who wants to go next?" Someone in the back: "Get back to work!" Me: "Yeah, yeah." *starts to go* *pauses* "You know I don't have to be writing copy for a story to be working on it, right?" *Goes on* *at the exit now, pauses * " I'm only going because I want to!" *leaves* Fade to black. Roll credits. (...?)

I'd swear I read almost the exact thing on Nifty.org, years ago, with a few differences: The older boy had forearm crutches. The wrestling started as imitating DragobBallZ. That one had two chapters. But I think they covered the same arc. (Physical, then emotional) Google has failed me in finding this other "A Step Brother I Could Love," however, I asked that author about a third chapter. (At the time) Their answer was something like: "going on would require bringing in the parents, and can't see how it would go." Even if this has nothing to do with the other story I'm remembering, the same fault exists. If it goes on, the relationship has to interact with the wider world. Com doesn't shy away from conflict, so it probably WASN'T his story. However, the relationship would likely go through a lot of bad before it recovered. And he has so much else to write already. PS - I don't have a step brother fetish. I just have a really good memory for stories and titles.

Ok. Yesterday I read the original version. 2006 anthology. Thank you anthology throwback blog! Today: Lightbulb! The title was familiar. There's more somewhere. Found! Read! *Dreamy Sigh *Comsie's got me hooked on something else. And then the inevitable crash. Hunger. Withdrawal. The "you've reached the end of this series for now" message on Crunchyroll. (Comsie-roll) The man writes addictive substantive stories. Hello, my name is VampireMystic, and I'm a Comicality fan. It's been 10 minutes since I got to the end of something. *sits* Group: Hi Vamp! (Ugh. 7 or 10 years ago, why didn't I lead with Mystic...) Sorry, saw a squirrel. Ahem. Believe me. I'm right there with Comsie that you have to write what you're in the mind space to write. It took me 6 years to find my way back to my story, Predators. (Lot's more soon.) And, even more so, now that I'm writing again I understand that it takes minutes to read what someone took weeks or months to write. We should just be thankful he doesn't pull a Netflix and cancel stories because he "has too many hits." Comicality sensei Respect, mine, you have. *bows* Seriously I have *one* story... Shut up, novels in the other folder, I'll get to you when I'm damn good and ready! Oh, alright, Predators. *gets back to work*

*watches his previous comment evolve wings, and take to the air* "Fly my pretty, fly..."

Awesome! I can see all of the ingredients of a long running Comsie love story here. Complex living characters Teenage hormones Internal conflict (Potentials for) external conflict: "It was so uplifting that I never really expected things to change. Things always change” They do. since the statement followed his list of positive coming out experiences, the comment led me to think of experiences that don't go so well. “ All Eyes Watching” Not all eyes are friendly Potential for twists We know almost nothing about the background of the boys. Or their friends. In other news, I want this comment to serve as testimony that this is the first day I’ve ever seen this story. Any awkward phone calls I may have already written, any Irish accents I may have already imagined, existed before reading this story. Also, I know what it feels like when you start out to do a small thing and it just won't stop growing: First, a test tube shatters. Then the box you up-ended onto it starts to creak and slide around. You dive out of the room and slam the door, but it's taken shape, and like a velociraptor, figured out how to open doors. Through the door, it is soon too wide for the hallway, and there goes the drywall. Larger, more complex, more intelligent, on and on it grows. Moats, pits, fences, minefields, it grows past them all. Eventually containment is impossible. You've done all you can to shape it and teach it. You watch it leave... You don't know what you this thing you created is going to do or how it will affect the world... You don't know if they will cheer you or curse you... But you know, you're going to be proud. And you should be, Com, you should be.

As most of you may have noticed, because I won't shut up about it ;-), since I came back at the end of December I'm trying to get my main serial story moving again, finishing a side story for a certain day in February, even considering reworking a stalled chapter novel into a set of serial chapters. And yet... After my Godzilla short story, I'm itching to do something actually short. So I'm going to try for the 1500 word challenge and if that doesn't stay small it should work for the anthology. ^-^ Suppose I could have led with that.

I can say that compared to my contemporary or postmodern fiction, (so far a city is a city even if it's on another planet with better technology) high fantasy, with it's need for greater detail and a different vocabulary, develops pacing problems. ( none of it is here yet for that very reason) By the time I've set the stage for a new scene, after the description, the momentum of the previous is lost. Which I then have to rebuild. As if everyone is standing around waiting while it loads. I'm wondering if that's what you meant by losing the audience. Or if you meant losing them in the descriptions themselves.

This comment has almost everything I was going to say . I'll just add that, I think this one of the first articles that made it very clear you need both. Other articles leave me with a clear impression that failing to show over tell is, well... failing.

"Soft heart for hurt boys" I like that. Almost poetic. That may be true. Many things can make a heart change and shift. I hope that my explorations of the hearts and minds of my characters continue to be compelling. I keep saying this, but more is coming.

Yes. In one instance a certain kind of trauma crept into a character's background without my knowing why I put it there or why I couldn't get rid of it. Pieced it together a few years later. The unconscious seeking an outlet, it seems. I do agree that talking about things, especially if they're difficult, is a strong part of healing.

well now I don't have to go find his writer's block one... Says it even better here.

I've started carrying a tape recorder, to try to frame ideas as I have them if I can't write them down when I have them. I've actually got four hours recorded that were epic and would've written some very intense chapters. Alas... if you go that route, on your phone or otherwise, do a sound check every once in a while ,but especially at the beginning. Trust me...

I'll let you know when I feel rediscovered. In all seriousness, I know I'm going to agree. ( I'm not really counting the couple of new readers that I've pointed to my story after speaking with them in a chat somewhere, seems more like hitting them over the head with it than being rediscovered. XD) It's still gratifying to reread comments that have been there for six years. So there's that. I saw an interview where Juliana Margulies, an actress, while talking about her later show at the time, she did say how good it felt to have people come up and comment on a show called ER. (I feel old because I watched it when episodes were new.) It's from decades ago and fans are still discovering it through syndication. So what you're saying is manifestly true even in other professions. Once my story from six years ago has some friends, (soon), I'll speak from experience instead of imagination.

There's an article @Comicality wrote. The title is "Oh nos the Dreaded Writers' Block," for some such. ( When I find it I'll edit the end of the post.) Paraphrasing, it discusses the certain stories or certain scenes require a certain frame of mind in order to appear genuine to the characters and the mood. It might be hard to write a happy scene after a shitty day at work, etc. I agree with the philosophy. There are times when I have to stop typing but the scene keeps playing in my head and it's great. But if I'm trying to write it down later when I'm in a different mood, it falls flat, even even if I'm to covering the same conversation/plot points. Follow your fickle muses, and just be grateful you can get anything on paper you like. Also, your topic title is fabulous.

Just a quick thank you for all whom have offered answers to my quandary, and all who may yet. Given me much to be considered. I'll share my further thoughts soon. Thank you,

A Good Read VampireMystic _________________________________ In an isolated corner of the library, past the signs “Special Interest Section” and “LGBPTAQQA” (To which someone had tapped a hand lettered explanation in marker “Alphabet Soup” with a rainbow sticker, Subdued light from nearby reading lamps casts a cozy, inviting look over this corner of the library. A young man is sitting on the floor. He is sitting on his hip, feet curled in front of him. There a rustling

For all I know, this has been asked. Just because I didn't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there... We've all managed to create worlds, people them, and poke things into happening. But, I'm finding that the hardest description to weave in naturally is that of the person doing the rest of the descriptions. Why would the narrator narrate themselves? Ask me what I'm wearing and I'll give you a list. But I'm not naturally inclined to describe myself the way I would describe the jerk I can't stand or the love of my life. In my story, Predators, I tried to have the narrator reflect on aspects of his appearance at points it was natural to reflect upon them. I've been hearing that he's hard to picture from the neck up. How do you folks bring the storyteller into their story?

I've been playing with how to do this in something I've got coming. it's a variation on travel. Instead of having the established characters travel, put them in a point of...crap! Brain freeze. Lost the noun I wanted. (And I left it right here yesterday...) Anyway: Two characters walking through some place that draws travellers (Chicago Navy pier), the place may be familiar, but the composition of people there changes. Provide a detail that draws attention naturally, watch the fun. (Can't say more...yet!) Basing adventurer type protagonists in a busy trading point near (or as) a necessary service. (Local slightly rough inn. Blacksmith) New people literally walk in and say hello.) Local carnival, country fair, town anniversary. Basically, you can naturally draw people to your cast with things. Happenstance could work. "Excuse me, you dropped your (noun). Is that a "C" on your hand, by chance?" (I'm just not going to the party...:P) Ok, I'm going to drop a smoke bomb and run. Pretend you don't see me, k?