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just when it seemed our writer VM was going to spend another night watching TV and muttering stories outloud, wasting the effort, the internet failed.
And with it's failure uncountable distractions were removed.
"Aw shit, well at least I might get some work done."
And our writer gets comfortable beneath his laptop.
"Open the file and..."
Microsoft Word cannot open this file please try again when you have an internet connection.
The downside of cloud storage...
Un- ok, slightly, daunted our writer VM smiles. "Cellphone Wi-fi hotspot."
A short time later...
" you know, this is kind of funny. The internet goes out, so I want to get something done that used to be simple, but now requires the internet."
And then, on Gayauthors.org...
Spotify gave me a Guitar Hero flashback.
From the first phrase...
Mother told me, yes she told me, I'd meet girls like you...
(Where have I heard...)
As covered by Less than Jake. A song I only recognized because I played Guitar Hero 2 on the PlayStation 2.
Edit: Correct lyrics, band name. YouTube link.
Something some may find funny:
Allow me to set the scene.
*Someone, over the phone, asks how to do something that you find to be simple.*
*You, eager to be helpful, describe the process quickly*
*They, trusting the explanation without question, hang up*
* later, along with a number of groceries, they bring you the thing that needed buttons pushed, because it didn't work for tbem*
* you accomplished this simple thing in the exact amount of time you thought it was going to take them (<30 seconds)*
* astounded, and probably frustrated, they ask how you did it*
And when you explain with device in hand...
You live that moment when realize a slight misunderstanding of your instructions caused them to fail.
When, if you had taken the time to thoroughly review what each of the buttons on the new bluetooth headset looked like instead of skipping straight to " hold down the volume up key and the button on the microphone" they wouldn't have pressed the RED button on TOP of the microphone when you meant the GREY button on the SIDE of the microphone.
Thereby causing a smart person to feel stupid, and undermining their confidence in using the gadget you really want them to enjoy and use.
(If you have to hold the phone in one hand hang up the phone and drive. better yet, don't answer)
If someone asks you how to do something, don't skimp on the process of TEACHING the answer.
(Really. Don't answer. It doesn't matter if you're only going a couple miles. I read somewhere that most accidents happen within a couple miles of home.
and the highway isn't much better even if there is less to worry about. At any given time, one of those cars could be driven by an idiot. Their mistake becomes your problem)
This turned into a public service announcement by your friendly neighborhood VampireMystic.
(*muppet in the balcony* "But you're on your phone in the car all the time."
Me: Yeah, as a passenger. Quietly texting.)
I have a story that takes place on a Valentine's Day. I let the holiday go by without commenting on that or capitalizing on it.
I fail at social media.
I hope everyone that's in love this year was lucky enough to find it in a positive relationship.
I hope everyone who's been single so far this year, finds a positive relationship.
Snow day when you're an employee somewhere it matters: Less Money
Less use of bus pass: Wasted Money
Fixing your parent's wi-fi from 45 minutes away, because smart router: Priceless
Another December 24th
Another year I didn't die
I always figure the origin of the birthday party is a celebration another year that some plague or something hadn't killed you.
I can still count it as a victory.
According to my spreadsheet, despite the year's ups and downs, and nearly spending it all out of necessity...
I'm ending the year with 58 more dollars saved than I started the year with.
Thanks to ups and downs, only a few thousand dollars less debt.
More written in 2018 than 2017 and the several prior.
Epic fucking victory.
I'm trying to think of a relatable example. Something with suicidal odds, a protracted action sequence, and a big explosion.
But it was a LOT harder than getting two missiles into a 2 meter hole. Laser turrets and opposing fighters not withstanding.
Been a good year, then.
I seem to be fighting impulses to throw things when severely angered lately.
So far, I've only actually done it once.
Something provoked severe anger
Strange new impulse to throw
Last second thought: "Not your smartphone "
Next nearest object arcs impressively across the kitchen.
Note: I was the entirely alone
End of story
When you set out on a quest, it is necessary to accept that you may fail and you may find what you seek. More important, it seems, is to be prepared that in the gap between success and fai to find that lure lies the far greater possibility.
Finding something else entirely.
Deep cave systems?
Fallen cathedrals with impossibly deep basements?
Those are fine.
For myself, it's enough to look through a storage box of thumb drives.
Inner critic: you call this a Story? Don't Bother writing it. There's at least three versions of the same thing on Crunchyroll. there's more but I got bored counting after 3.
No one's going to read it, it's derivative.
Me: But it's different...
Critic: oh? What are you doing that could possibly make something so overdone interesting again? What have you got to say that no one else has said?
Me: I won't really know until I write it.
Critic: brilliant plan maestro... with that kind of Genius, it's no mystery why you have so many unfinished books.
Me: Well, for one thing, it's a love story. None of those anime are.
Critic: oh sure, that really narrows down the competition. As if nobody writes love stories. You don't seem to be helping your case here.
Me: There's gonna be sex.
Me: Character driven, emotional sex that moves the plot along. Or at least lubes the wheels.
*Critic opens mouth*
Me: we've met, you and I. Hello? Gay sex! On screen! With a purpose! And the whole thing told my way.
Critic: ...Tell me more...
Me: if you promise to shut up until I'm done.
Critic: we both know I'm going to heckle you from the balcony worse than those two grumpy Muppets.
But I guess I'll give you some chances to get work done.
Me: .... *shrugs and starts typing*
*Some time later*
Critic: it would be easier if we just watch Netflix.
Critic: I'm bored. *smirks* Hey, Anxiety said there's a mistake in the budget spreadsheet.
*phone lights up*
*turns off without unlocking*
Me: Nice try. *typing resumes* Go 69 Anxiety for a while, we'll all feel better.
*Inner critic gets up* Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
You know, no one else will think this is funny.
Me: who cares?
Inner critic: you.
Me: could you just go you' ve got all night to bother me in my sleep.
Critic: fine, write this stupid thing, I tried to warn you
Me: and I cannot convey my gratitude adequately. *typing goes on*
Inner critic: *walks off*
*calls out without turning back*
"What about Predators?"
*typing goes on*
*5 minutes later*
Me: *shouts in the general direction of inner critic*
File a complaint with Imagination, he's never in the office when I want to talk to him, just leaves me notes I can hardly read, and can almost never find again if I lose track. And none of my complaints have done any good. But hey, we landed a lover, so anything can happen...
*reads a note that appeared on the keyboard*
Oh, that's a good one.
But could you at least keep the squirrels related to a story that's already going even if it's not the one I'm trying to work on?
Me: I suppose trying is all any of us can do.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where I just kind of duck behind the nearest cover and wait for it to happen around me. If I'm lucky, my family will forget to actually invite me until the day of and I'll have viable "other plans." "Oh, sorry Mom, I've got other plans. I didn't know what you were up to. What? Oh you can totally bring me some pie! Love you." Now I love my family. I can and have and will probably again twist myself into knots trying to be there for them. But... I can barely endure a group dinner at <c- pizza buffet franchise>, a restaurant! You add in all the extra activity and stress and pretending looking at the same TV is a great way to have a conversation, etc., for HOURS and it's just... no. Nuh uh. Mark me as "unavailable." Or: How about I hang with my sister and her family on Saturday and... Hey, Dad, what are you doing next Tuesday? Nice and manageable. Mmm... pie.
So, I'm through a round of proofreading for two chapters.
I'm no closer to knowing if the chapters work.
Of course they make sense to me, I wrote them.
If only there was such a thing as someone reading a story before it's published and make suggestions.