When you set out on a quest, it is necessary to accept that you may fail and you may find what you seek. More important, it seems, is to be prepared that in the gap between success and fai to find that lure lies the far greater possibility.
Finding something else entirely.
Deep cave systems?
Fallen cathedrals with impossibly deep basements?
Those are fine.
For myself, it's enough to look through a storage box of thumb drives.
Inner critic: you call this a Story? Don't Bother writing it. There's at least three versions of the same thing on Crunchyroll. there's more but I got bored counting after 3.
No one's going to read it, it's derivative.
Me: But it's different...
Critic: oh? What are you doing that could possibly make something so overdone interesting again? What have you got to say that no one else has said?
Me: I won't really know until I write it.
Critic: brilliant plan maestro... with that kind of Genius, it's no mystery why you have so many unfinished books.
Me: Well, for one thing, it's a love story. None of those anime are.
Critic: oh sure, that really narrows down the competition. As if nobody writes love stories. You don't seem to be helping your case here.
Me: There's gonna be sex.
Me: Character driven, emotional sex that moves the plot along. Or at least lubes the wheels.
*Critic opens mouth*
Me: we've met, you and I. Hello? Gay sex! On screen! With a purpose! And the whole thing told my way.
Critic: ...Tell me more...
Me: if you promise to shut up until I'm done.
Critic: we both know I'm going to heckle you from the balcony worse than those two grumpy Muppets.
But I guess I'll give you some chances to get work done.
Me: .... *shrugs and starts typing*
*Some time later*
Critic: it would be easier if we just watch Netflix.
Critic: I'm bored. *smirks* Hey, Anxiety said there's a mistake in the budget spreadsheet.
*phone lights up*
*turns off without unlocking*
Me: Nice try. *typing resumes* Go 69 Anxiety for a while, we'll all feel better.
*Inner critic gets up* Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
You know, no one else will think this is funny.
Me: who cares?
Inner critic: you.
Me: could you just go you' ve got all night to bother me in my sleep.
Critic: fine, write this stupid thing, I tried to warn you
Me: and I cannot convey my gratitude adequately. *typing goes on*
Inner critic: *walks off*
*calls out without turning back*
"What about Predators?"
*typing goes on*
*5 minutes later*
Me: *shouts in the general direction of inner critic*
File a complaint with Imagination, he's never in the office when I want to talk to him, just leaves me notes I can hardly read, and can almost never find again if I lose track. And none of my complaints have done any good. But hey, we landed a lover, so anything can happen...
*reads a note that appeared on the keyboard*
Oh, that's a good one.
But could you at least keep the squirrels related to a story that's already going even if it's not the one I'm trying to work on?
Me: I suppose trying is all any of us can do.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where I just kind of duck behind the nearest cover and wait for it to happen around me. If I'm lucky, my family will forget to actually invite me until the day of and I'll have viable "other plans." "Oh, sorry Mom, I've got other plans. I didn't know what you were up to. What? Oh you can totally bring me some pie! Love you." Now I love my family. I can and have and will probably again twist myself into knots trying to be there for them. But... I can barely endure a group dinner at <c- pizza buffet franchise>, a restaurant! You add in all the extra activity and stress and pretending looking at the same TV is a great way to have a conversation, etc., for HOURS and it's just... no. Nuh uh. Mark me as "unavailable." Or: How about I hang with my sister and her family on Saturday and... Hey, Dad, what are you doing next Tuesday? Nice and manageable. Mmm... pie.
So, I'm through a round of proofreading for two chapters.
I'm no closer to knowing if the chapters work.
Of course they make sense to me, I wrote them.
If only there was such a thing as someone reading a story before it's published and make suggestions.
Public service announcement:
If your name is Brisby, stay out of the farmhouse. That way be Dragon.
That is all.
Well, for once when I started saying a story out loud I actually managed to grab the tape recorder from my nightstand. There's also one in the back I leave my house with.
I have over an hour of me yammering my way through , expressing in first person does she not already outlined as a third person Observer the other night.
Last time I did this, I actually followed through on the idea of using the tape recorder, I got 45 minutes in and tested the sound quality only to find that I couldn't hear anything more than a whisper.
This time my voice plays black loud and clear. With that same old school hearing yourself on the answering machine disconnection. That feeling of is it really me? Do I really sound like that? Shit.
The real test is coming up. Will the software I have on my computer be able to transcribe any of it?
Will the hero of the story make it out alive?
will this new material ever make it to ga?
That moment when you realize the voice recorder you took out of storage relies on a cable that used to be ubiquitous. But is now an endangered species and the only sample you're sure you have isn't where it should be.
I found another one, in the drawer where I keep all my Zune stuff. (RIP Zune, RIP Windows Phone)
The one that should have been connecting my external hard drive to my desktop I just found laying on the floor next to a lamp between the TV stand and the storage furniture thing that holds all my video game accessories that I don't use.
Perhaps it got bored?
My computer is I think transcribing it. The software doesn't have any progress bar for this function.
Holy shit it worked.
Not perfectly. But I can work with it. There's maybe 80 or 90% that's right. Next time will be better because I'll be more careful how I speak while I'm recording.
3099 words. That might otherwise have never have made it onto paper. Years after saying I would try it this way, and it worked!
Now muttering to myself will have some purpose.
I've had other status updates that inspired blog rambles, but this time I actually managed to write one. I'll have to remember that beginning it right afterwards seems to help. LOL
I hope you folks enjoy it
Ever look back and realize you've done more than you thought you did? I've mentioned some word counts before. Edited chapter 4 of "2-14-9X" today for @Comicality's magazine. When I pasted the edits into this running word file I keep the whole story in I noticed something. 30, 747 words Now, that's not too far from the last publicized count, I know. But it's still been a while since I took stock of the whole, you know? Considering most of that was written between December 2017 and March 2018 progress has slowed considerably. But, to those of you who read my interview in the March 2018 issue of @Comicality's Imagine Magazine, my writing hasn't, and isn't always as readily available of my imagination. The gap between imagining something, no matter how detailed, and expressing that vision. is sometimes wider than others. Sometimes it's the crack in the sidewalk between to slabs, something unnoticed as w=one goes along. Sometimes it's a canyon, and there isn't always a bridge. Sometimes it feels so far that one side is out of sight of the other. Even when it's working, another issue is control. I may say "I really need to edit chapter 5, I'm behind schedule," only to have my concentration slide away from me to concepts, scenes, whole stories, that have nothing to do with a certain night's events that happened to be on Valentine's Day. And trying to force it one way instead of where it wants to go can mean that nothing really gets done. Proofreading is one thing, and that can be hard enough to concentrate on, but editing is more than that. In the case of chapter 5 well, there are things that have to work or… Well they don't yet so no chapter 5 for you guys. And I may say that "chapter 8 really needs some attention" (XP) same deal. Just because I want to write it doesn't mean that's what I can concentrate on. I mean just look at chapter 2 of predators 3/4 finished since before I started 2 – 14 – 9X. I know what happens next, I watched it play out a a dozen times in my head. (Are you loving or hating a look behind the scenes right now? Be honest.) And sometimes, this is speaking more historically, there's a difference between writing something, writing something that's good, and writing something that's useful. I have at least three "novels" that are each unfinished, probably more than 100 pages apiece, and they tell so little of the story for all that wordage that it's not even funny. Not to me anyway. It's not that what I wrote is bad, it's just... ugh. Slow. Or focuses so much on setting that by the time the actors start doing something there's no momentum carried over from the previous scene. So maybe there's only been a few thousand words of progress over the last few months. But trust me, a few thousand words of progress are better than tens of thousands that don't go anywhere. *Looks offstage when there's muttering from the wings* "Yes yes I'm still going to tell your stories someday." Probably in the grand scheme of things my old writing accomplishes in more than 100 pages less story mileage than I've managed to do in Predators: 2-4-9X thus far. I'll take the right 4k words over the good but useless 40k I might otherwise have added in the past. Am I making sense? Writing aside, life presents its obstacles and distractions. Work, home, mood disorders, drama drama drama, even as a spectator. Sigh. I've got a couple people that might become beta readers. That will help if it happens. Nothing refuels focus on writing like talking about it with people. I've also joined a writing group IRL. While I don't know ow much that will help, I'm not exactly eager to volunteer "hey I write about teenagers having sex. Gay ones." I mean, that's not what I want to be the focus of my writing, the emotions are what matter but I think we all know that's the part that would stand out. They do something for national novel writing month and I have vague operations of participating. Which is why, except for engaging with my potential beta readers and if the mood strikes me to do otherwise, I'm going to be focusing on prep work for a short story that has been preoccupying me and the broader story that it inspired because that may be my NaNoWiMo project. I know 2-14 is already behind schedule and any diehards have been waiting for seven years for Predators chapter 2. But I hope my readers and fellow writers and everyone here can focus on the positive. If I even get close that means you guys could see something pretty complete. And writing is writing. . I started this log entry thinking about how far I've come, it makes sense to leave it at I thought of how far I have to go. I've said before, in that interview actually, my writing is my journey, and I hope that some of you want to come along.
Ever look back and realize you've done more than you thought you did?
I've mentioned some word counts before. Edited chapter 4 of "2-14-9X" today for @Comicality's magazine. When I pasted the edits into this running word file I keep the whole story in I noticed something.
30, 747. Still 5 chapters to draft.
I don't know if work's been crazy because of the people that come there, the people that work there, or if I'm the crazy one.
I have this uncomfortable feeling it's all three. At least this weekend the only crazy person I have to deal with is me.
Hopefully I'll catch up on messaging and get some writing done.
Wait... That last bit sounds familiar....
I find myself reflecting on the progress I have made in my life.
Me: I want ice cream. Uhh please. *phew nailed it*
Mom: Only after you eat your dinner.
*well played, mom. Well played*
Nom nom nom.
Presented with a Corel cup of vanilla.
Me: More please?
Age 31 3/4
Me: I want ice cream.
Goes to freezer, gets icecream, bowl, spoon, etc.
Fills cereal bowl with icecream
Nom nom nom
Hmm... I want more.
You know... there's still the rest of the quart in the freezer.
And... Salted Caramel icecream is a TOTALLY awesome dinner!
I had a feeling it was older than that. Being right is a warm fuzzy feeling. Good thing to find on a Sunday morning. Your writing has grown and changed a lot. But has always been good. #another20years PS Cameos of your characters from oneshots could be cute. (Probably already happening) even if it's 20 years later in the background of another teen couple's story. #anniversary PPS I think I'm going to ride this warm fuzzy feeling all the way to the coffee machine and then a keyboard. No saddle? Well, there's always "bareback"
Nice story. Reminds me of the earliest Comsie stories I read. Not surprising once I saw that it was posted 2010. Not complaining or criticizing. Very nice story. Sometimes hot and fast is what's going to hit the spot. XD Clearly, Brian hit Josh's.
Ummm... caught up finally with the predator... so any Ideas on next installment...???
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Procrastination is an art. The thing is, that chapter should have been all pretty because it was edited months ago. Before I put it here. So, I can't blame procrastination for that one.
Because maturity is overrated.
I had plans but now it looks like I'll spend my weekend helping someone write a last-minute resume