Yettie One

Argh so Ahmon was working for Mr Nan all along???? Heck that means he was sleeping with the man he had been sent to find. Oh Oh. I wonder how that's going to go down when it is discovered. Between Han and his lusts, and Ahmon and his lusts. My gosh, everyone wanted a chunk of SarEr!!!! So finally Zun is vindicated and Jiro is being chased. I wonder if they will catch him. Also just a little worried now that SarEr has become a pawn in a game to hurt Choi Yang and his life or safety are of little consequence to Dao Ming. Poor Cole. I don't know whether to feel sorry for him, or relieved he finally knows the truth! lilansui this story is such a tease. Wow.

Damn. This tale just keeps getting thicker and thicker with mystery. Sooooooooo Jiro is related to SarEr??? Oh my!!!! And me thinks that SarEr maybe used to hurt his father now! And now that Cole has entered into this whole world of mystery and deception and everything, I can't help but wonder how it is going to pan out. I am still lost as to why Laing is being held by the Police and how Ahmon ties in with the police, as he says he is trying to help him and all. This plot is a web of deception and confusion, a master plan to hide the true nature of the dastardly needs of a man hell bent on revenge. How cunning..... Oh boy onwards to the next chapter.

My goodness, if I felt confused before, I'm really quite lost now. Things are moving so quick. I am not totally sure that I understand why Jiro needs to escape HongKong, or even exactly why it suddenly appears that he's actually been helping SarEr. That part is not clear yet, and a really mysterious. So Han was despatched by SarEr's father to look for him. Funny I thought he'd gone hunting for him on his own selfish quest. And erm Ahmon is a Cop???? No he can't be, coz he's working with Han, or seems to actually be instructing Han. Hmmmmm This is getting really intense now.

OMG What the devil is going on???? So cleverly worked up into a twist of possibilities. Not really sure what to expect next, who knows what, and who is doing what! Somehow, I fear that Cole is in for a rough time of it as he begins to learn the truth of this whole sorry story. But then again, I also think he's got the mind and the tact to find a way out of it. I hope..... Interesting way to leave us all teetering on the edge of the cliff, and I also love the natural feel of a realistic relationship that you depict in this chapter. Oh I am glad I don't have to wait for the next chapter.

Well hell, I never expected to find that Little Man was such a domineering little chap! I love the way he handled Ogre. Got to say that this chapter is really awesome. It was quite refreshing to find that there were subtle twists to the standard expectations, little nuances that gave the story a flavour all of its own. The betrayal the break down, the road back to normality all par for the course and expected, yet along that route, tiny hiccups that made me smile, gave the plot a sense of originality and a genuine pleasure as a reader. The attention to detail here is really cool. And the final result, something that I was probably not expecting considering the route you took us down to get there. Great going buddy.

Flirting with danger. Heck this is the easiest way for secrets to come crashing out! But then again, it is amazing what you can really get away with when you play the game well. Great chapter, but I worry about Little Man. I am not 100% sure that Ogre will turn out completely gay, and it would seem as if he is in some way trying to make amends for his own guilt at not sticking up for his best friend. That is maybe not the best way to start out a relationship. Yet as that may be the case, it could well be that Ogre is completely gay and just suppressed his desires so damn well, even he didn't know! Argh to be in such a quandary of whether to trust him or not!!!! The funny thing is I suspect that Eric already knows, or suspects. Maybe? haha. Great chapter Mann Ramblings, and looking forward to more.

Thanks RJ Always love getting your feedback

Ok there was a wicked little touch of humour in the end, considering a big buff jock like Ogre being worried that Little Man would consider "Him" a bad shag! haha. Oh google you wonderful invention! There were parts I loved and parts I cringed at, but that is my fussy personality and not your writing ability, so please don't shoot me when I say I like some of it, and don't like some of it. The little throw in of asking each other their real names, was cute, had its place, and answered a question I'd wondered myself in Chapter 1. The quirky nervousness of the straight jock, suddenly feeling out of his comfort zone visiting his second home in Little Man's presence. The avoiding each other at the gym, all little bits of reality that enhanced the great simplicity of the plot and its characters. Then we have Ogre's worry, fear, curiousness, issues. He's totally unsure of himself, yet somehow he is sure of himself. Then there is more sex....... Argh. Ok, ok I know. Horni teenagers, totally plauseable. Yeah of course, and more than realistic given the circumstances. I just reflect back to my own first time and the guy it happened with, and the effect that it had long term on our friendship. While it did eventually work itself out, it was not easy, and not quick. I really do think that the weight of guilt of making that first transition is something that we don't focus in on enough in Gay Fiction. Especially for a "Straight" guy who's just done something gay! But all in all, this is just as I say, me being fussy, and while I did frown in this chapter if I am totally honest with you, I did still enjoy it. LOTS

Hey Mark, and the rest of ya wonderful gang. I haven't been into the thread here for a while, kind of got caught up in my own world of activities and stuff recently, and it has been a bit of a welcome break from being constantly faced with woe and worry. I get so bloody selfish at times it saddens me. I forget that the world is still spinning, and the people that have reached out and helped me when I am down, are still there, some still needing support, others just wanting a bit of a cuddle, or a simple hello. Meh I am the first to admit that all too often I get caught up in my own little world, and it seems I suddenly forget those that matter. Right now at this time in my life, I am lucky in that I have a friend who brings me down to earth in the kindest possible way, and prompts me to do this or check up on that, and so after a quick message, i realised i needed to stop by and say hello. Mark I am so sorry about the loss of the beautiful Cher. I don't consider it sad or silly that you mourn a pig. Pets are personal things, a character, a loved on, a special companion in times when human companionship just doesn't cut it. Just coz for you it was a friendship with a pig makes it no more trivial or less impacting for you, and non of us would consider any less of you for feeling the loss of such a close and constant friend. I think most of us at some stage in our life have had to endure the loss of a pet, and they say it is good preparation in learning to deal with loss period. Not sure that I buy into that theory, but I do know that it does hurt. So for what it is worth, I hope you feel good for having shed a tear, and been suitably moved by the loss of your cherished companion. I respect you and wish I could be there to tell you that it will be alright one day, that things will hurt less, but as I can't please accept this hug over the miles. To those here, the ones that are faithful friends, and loyal followers of the thread, its many contributors, and the people who come and communicate so openly and freely, I admire you all. Talking about the things that trouble us is never easy, and we feel even worse for admitting that we are weak or broken or lost. Putting words to feelings is really scary, and each of us has a different battle to face, a different challenge to tackle, a different monster to bare. Yet we are all similar in that we need each other, and it is this community spirit that I so admire. People coming together to be there for one another. Not all of us for the same reason, yet we open up, we share, we communicate. This is such a wonderful place to meet people, learn to not feel so alone, and it is each and everyone of the contributors of this thread that make it so. No judgement, no jumping to conclusions, no looking down on one another. Is this not what being human is all about? I am grateful for this thread, and for the people that use it, are a part of it, and that have learnt to accept me and support me in ways I never considered possible. Thanks.

Thank you Jo Ann Love you !

For me personally, the last two weeks have been a quietly controlled spell of manic activity in the bigger scheme of things. For a while, I have been locked down in a world of woe, wondering what tomorrow will hold and when the inevitable is going to happen. It is never a pleasant feeling, knowing that you are headed for a world of pain, and there is nothing that you can do to avoid it, side step it, or even really prepare yourself for it. These are facts of life, nature in all of its cruel splendour, the things we have no control over, pain, sadness and sorrow that there is no words for, no proper way to describe, no real effective means of communication. What is lovely about being busy is the fact that my mind has little time to ponder these circumstances. I have thrived over the last two weeks, not only from the personal fulfilment of a long time desire, but also from the satisfaction of feeling productive, needed, back in control of something. It may sound stupid, but being able to make decisions, being allowed to make a contribution, being involved as a working part of the dynamic is a strangely rewarding and liberating feeling. In some ways I am ashamed to admit these words. Regret that I feel this way. Feel bad that I like to feel alive and part of something that I can influence, control and manage. The feelings of uselessness are abated the frustration of having to sit and watch, unable to change the course of nature is soul destroying and only depresses the mind, body and spirit. There is only so much that one person can handle, and when we are faced with things we cannot affect, we are not only completely out of control of destiny, but also out of control of our feelings and abilities to deal with what is happening around us, this is when we find ourselves at our lowest. This is when we are vulnerable, exposed, out of our comfort zone, alone! I know what tomorrow holds for me. Maybe not in the physical sense of tomorrow, the day after today, but I know what is coming in my near future, and as I struggle to prepare myself for this eventuality I have begun to realise that I am totally incapable of preparing myself. I do not have the skills or the experience to know how I am going to handle the things I will have to face. I know not, where I will find the strength to do the things I will have to do. I cannot begin to plan for it, do not want to face it, cannot accept that it is necessary. Yet, this is my lot. This is the reality of my situation, and so be it. I begin to understand too, that while I am not in a place or frame of mind to really be able to cope with these things, I am in some ways starting to plan for these times. While focusing my mind on things to keep my busy right now is in keeping with my trend of burying my head in the sand and pretending I do not have to deal with these things, in so many ways the things I am engaging in right now are the foundations of my preparation for life beyond my current situation in life. Networks and friendships I am forging with people who understand, care, love without condition and share without expectation are the corner blocks of setting up a life line, a safety cord that I can reach out and hold in the dark times ahead. There is a sense of relief in knowing that someone, anyone will be there. Loneliness is a curse that no one wishes to meet. It is one that far too many of us live with, accept and embrace. It is a bitter pill that swallows us! I don't want to feel alone, and I know that you don't want to feel its embrace either, so when a simple post card drops through my letter box, the person that took the time to write it can never know how special the words scrawled across the white surface mean to me. When a short and simple message pops up in my message box saying here is a random hug for you, on a day I was just thinking about you, the writer of that message can never truly know how much the words enclosed in that missive sent through the marvel of the internet really means to me. The cheerful banter in a chat room, the laughs we share on skype... The stories that I manage to get lost in, the encouragement through comments, feedback, conversation..... It all adds up. And I don't think we really give full credit to the power of these simple actions we undertake on a day to day basis. You are reading this thinking, "heck, maybe he is right," or maybe you are not, but did you stop and realise while you are reading this, just how special YOU really are? No? Well take it from me, in my eyes each one of you that make the effort to be a friend are so much more than you allow yourself credit for. It is people like you that make the world spin. You give life meaning, bring a sense of purpose to survival, and without realising it give value to the things, relationships, actions we each undertake, that we become a part of, that we live for daily. Those things that have kept me busy for the last two weeks, gave me cause to sit and think to myself today while I was working. Yes they kept me active, they thrilled me and involved me and made me feel productive and useful. However, they also gave me a reason to reflect on how much I value the contact that I have with people. People like you reading. Many of you will interact with me in some way, simple and brief as it is, it is appreciated You may be reading and have never spoken with me before, yet what I say rings true in your own mind, and mirrors itself on your own experiences. Who knows, maybe in reading this blog you will for the first time reach out and say hello, to me or someone else important. Whatever it is that prompts us to take an action, make an effort, touch a life, it is our humanity and our need to be seen and to feel needed and wanted and accepted that allows each and every one of us to add value to each others lives. I am much like you, much like the person next to you, much others dotted in over 7 billion places across this globe of ours. We are all essentially the same, thoughtful, vulnerable, curious, mysterious, unique, interesting, judgemental.... I could carry on using words into eternity but at the bottom line of things, we all have to accept that we are no better than the richest or the poorest, the most arrogant or most humble, most knowledgeable or most severely disabled among us. I am NO better than you because of what I do or who I am, and the same goes for you. When we overcome this perception of ourselves and our fellow man, maybe we can begin to understand how special we are, and what level of potential each of us holds. We can change the world by touching people, we can reach out and fill that void of loneliness, fear and pending hurt. We can all make a difference to someone's life, circumstances and sense of self worth, and is that not something worth trying to do? For today, I am grateful that I have reached out here, and made friends. Friendships that I treasure, relationships that grow with every day. I say this kind of thing often, and will continue to do so, as I really do believe the things I have said before, right now, and will say in my future are true, important and real. You are Special, today, tomorrow, forever. Thought for today - "Butterflies do not know the colour of their wings, but human eyes marvel at their beauty. Likewise you cannot see how good you are, but others see and know that you are special." Author Unknown Song for today - Feeling the Moment by Feeder

Humph! You know, taking things back to those times when I was a youngster, in love from a distance with a guy in my school, this chapter brought back some pretty vivid memories. A world of illusion and imagined romantic escapades that took place in my life, dreams of a man/boy I yearned for reaching out and owning me in the way Ogre did to Little Man. What really touched me was the simplicity that you have used to evoke those images in my mind. I have never been a fan of the "perfect world". I guess I am the kind of person that is more inclined to enjoy a sense of realism in the way love unfolds and how life is lived. Stories where everything just happens perfectly kind of give me a sense of frustration, as the fantasy is the kind of life we all wish we had, but the reality is far from similar to the fantasy of that kind of writing. However, having said that, there is a sense of plausibility that this really well thought out plot line takes us. I love the simple flow of your writing. It suits the characters, it lends a sense of reality to the text, fits their age, meets with a readers expectation and draws us into the world of the characters in an easy pull of desire. We want to see where Little Man ends up, need for him to feel happy, yearn for some sense of fulfilment, achievement, acceptance for the character. He gets lost in drawing on peoples skin, and we become lost in this need to see him smile. That is great writing. I am actually thus far really enjoying this tale. I have found that despite my normal reservations, I relate to the characters. I've stood in their shoes. I'm glad I spotted your post and resolved to check the story out. I shall endeavour to see where this adventure of young discovery takes me.

Gotta be honest DaddyDave that Amphitheatre looks stunning, and your right such an awesome setting for a concert. Would love to see someone like that perform there.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm actually I never had a stuffed animal, but I did have a blanket that I called "Sharmie" for some strange reason. Mind you back then I came out with some right corkers. I called my granddad "Grambo" and my sister Joanne was called "Susanna" Ok I'll shut up with the embarrassing moments here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL What is it about the Welsh always saying - See you now in a minute?????? hehe In someways I think its quite cute.

Ok when I left Africa it was mainly due to political strife, and I arrived in the UK with very little to my name. I basically had to start life over again, and ever since I've always had a thing about being homeless. Scares the hell out of me really. As for phobia's - SNAKES!!!! I'd curse here if I could coz I really really can't stand the things. They are pass out material for me!!!!

OMG I am ADDICTED to this song at the moment.

My Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!! He's Alive. **does mad jig around the room** Wooot the beautiful Mira lives on. Oh where the hell is Shay? I could kiss him. Thank god his powers gave that little kick of life to keep him going long enough to pull through this. God, through all that, his steadfast loyalty to "The One" is completely unshaken and as strong as ever. How can you not fall in love with the loyalty of this creature, this perfect, quiet gem of a partner we all wish we had at our side. He is quite remarkable, and a joy to follow through this story. Haha, me finks that Mira should open a self defence studio and teach humans how to twat sharplings once they have punished Harltey and his cronies. Heck the audacity of that man, sending a sniper to kill Shay. Oh now see, just another reason to Love Mira, he's saved Shay again. Argh heck I hope that Hartley has a long, slow, painful death. My blood is boiling coz of him. Superb chapter Stellar. I love the pace, frantic activity and sense of desperation you get reading through this part of the story. It is confusing and a whirlwind of escape in the midst of a calm and calculating mind. Totally get a sense of a boy that is driven to fulfil his destiny of protecting Shay till death does he part. Oh hell, I can't wait to see what happens when Shay know's Mira is ALIVE!

Argh My Oath!!!!!!!!!!! And we were just chatting about killing off Mira in chat!!!!!!!!! And now he's dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I actually felt quite physically sick when I read that he was dead. I know that this is the short, sharp, unkind reality of the world, but even still. Fricken heck! I miss him already damnit. Oh for the love of revenge! I want blood and lots of it!!!!! Argggggggh. Ok, great chapter Stellar, but I'm still major miffed the beauty of Mira is gone. Having said that, I did wonder if Carlos and Shay would ever...... erm...... well you know! I am pretty damn sure now that Carlos has some proper intense feelings for Shay! So hey, maybe it is not all bad! I'd still love to know what the hell Konstantin and Hartly have discovered/understood/worked out. Argh, major impatience for the next chapter now! Tomorrow??? hehe

"sut" - (not really sure it has a 'correct' way of spelling it) Expression of Never or There Is No Way. "How much?" - Classic Yettie expression in dialogue when someone says something of disbelief. (ie- "I climbed the steps of the Eiffel Tower." Yettie, amazed says, "You did How much?") Has often lead so some really quite priceless expressions of confusion in conversations, probably why I like using it. Yuses - (sounds a bit like jesus in some ways) Exclamation of surprise. (ie Bullet skims past your ear, "Yuses that was close!") I love some of the derogatory terms for a person that I've come across in my time. You plank! You tit! Sucker! (not in a good way either) You're such a Zombie! Dunder Head! You Chop! Also love some of the expressions we've created to describe the wonderful joy of the male of our species having a good old tug on a member of his anatomy. Spanking the monkey! Pulling one out! Tossing off. Beating the Bishop! Polishing the rocket! Rounding up the Tadpoles! Entertaining Mrs Palmer and her five daughters. Shaking hands with Shorty! The Erky Jerky! Tickle the Pickle! Measuring for condoms!!! Milking the lizard! Jiggle the Jewellery Killing the beast. Holding your sausage hostage! Hand to Gland Combat. Flogging your log! Choking your chicken!! Terms of teasing or taking the piss out of someone - Yanking your chain. Pulling your leg. Taking the micky.

This is a funny old world in terms of friendships, relationships and how we interact with people. I have found over time that my outlook on life, and how I value my friendships has changed so remarkably in the last few years, maybe as a result of doing a bit of growing up myself. Traditionally I have always been terrified that allowing myself to 'grow up' or become more mature would make me boring. I guess in my limited view on the world, once you got to thirty or something, you automatically became old fashioned, boring or too sophisticated to have fun. Well I'm thirty nine now, so been in my thirties for quite a while, and I've come to realise that being thirty does not make me any less weird or crazy than I really ever was. The biggest change is that my body can't keep up with what my mind wants to do, and as a result I am frequently at an internal battle to get more out of myself. Another thing that I have come to realise is that once you get over that hurdle of accepting that age is not the be all and end all of life, you actually begin to realise that older people are indeed a lot more fun than I'd ever given them credit for. Yes they have so much more life experience and are more willing to er on the side of caution, but this is not because of boredom it is more to do with them wanting to help us avoid pain or hurt in the long run, or simply avoid it for themselves. We don't give the older generation the consideration or credit they deserve sometimes, and I have been massively guilty of this in my time. It is sad to think that it has taken all this time for me to realise this. I have written a couple of times on my blog about age and how the golden glow of youth is so treasured and sort after, and I think that much of the world chases after that image of perfection and eternal youth. I know that personally I never really wanted to grow up. Foolishly, I always wanted to consider myself young at heart, and I figured that this meant being young in life, but sadly I have grown up, and aged and gotten older and wiser. I now realise that I can remain young at heart without having to associate with the young, and still be able to enjoy myself without the fixation on youth. As a matter of fact, I am beginning to learn that without the fickleness of the young, relationships, friendships and communication is a whole lot simpler, more sustainable, and has a loyalty and stability that I am wholly unaccustomed too. Friendships up to date have existed around a bristle of selfishness, uncertainty and an egotistical climb to the top of the ladder. Don't get me wrong, friendship is friendship, and I have wonderful memories, and some amazing mates, but I do believe that while most friendships have a certain degree of selflessness, and an awful lot of selfishness, there comes a time in your life when this balance swings in the opposite direction, and you begin to realise just how important and precious friendship really is. We all use these words; "I love my friends, I couldn't live without them!" Yup, even I have been one to say something similar. "You can never have enough friends!" The cliché statements about friendship are endless, and while there is some truth in the words, the majority of it is a hollow expression of what we want the world to believe we mean, but fail to act out. As I reflect on friendships I've had in the past, I can't help but face the fact that I've been guilty of failing to be a true friend. I've always had a selfish streak, expecting people to stay in touch with me, always chasing the next big fix, forgetting about the people that maybe need a quiet word, or a simple hello. The worst thing is realising that there were people who were that kind of friend to me, and have fallen by the wayside as I surged onwards on my selfish quest for self fulfilment or something I never really found. Oh how the benefit of hindsight is a curse. Hindsight is a wonderful teacher, and if we heed the lesson, and we can change. Yes I have waisted some cherished friendships. People who have moved on, yet at one time or another were right there at my side, and while I may never get that back again, I can learn to shift the balance towards being a true friend myself. As you grow up in life, you begin to understand that the world does not revolve around you. There are those that are delusional enough to believe this still, and for them I feel sorry, but for the vast majority of us, at some stage in our lives, we wake up to the fact that we need to give more than we receive to survive. This is the balance of true friendship. For some, they will learn this lesson very quickly. Others, like myself, will take a while to get it. Whatever the time line, we all come to the realisation one day that we are not islands in the world. I see those that think they can survive on their own terms, and revel in their selfishness, and while I do not despise them, I only see myself in them, and realise that at some stage in the future, they will come to the hard realisation that their point of view, selfishness, and deluded understanding of true friendship is skewed. So while in my past I have been foolish, I have come to learn that friendship can be very satisfying with people from every walk in life. I have met and continue to meet amazing people on GA. This place has been a real special place to me in so many ways. Not only does it mean I get to test my ability as a writer, but through friendships and associations here on GA, I am learning so much about life, myself, and the world around me. The people I am lucky enough to consider my friends here are teaching me that sharing is a wonderful thing, that life has many facets, and that learning to accept who I am and what I am to the people that see me, is all part of being alive. There is true value in a strong relationship, and not every friendship is based on some form of attraction. There are many assets in the people around us, and each has their own special gem, a quality that makes them stand out from the crowd. It is taking time to see beyond what I need from a relationship that has allowed me to realise that I have so much to give. I can be a good friend, I can share, I can make a difference with a simple hello, or a kind word spoken on a bad day. To those that have taken the time to befriend me and show, teach and encourage me, thank you. You will never truly know the full impact you have had on my life, and continue to have every day. GA for me, as for so many others is so much more than just a place to read stories. Thought for today - "Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it is broken, but you will always see the crack in its reflection." - Lady Gaga Song for today - Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye

You are such a cheeky git! Haha, I'll always smile while your around to step on my toes with those farmer weelies of yours! haha

Hahahahaha, gotta give the kid credit, its totally brilliant. What a way to capture attention. Very creative and funny, I mean you can't help but smile when you watch him.

Sometimes you just got to write it as you see it. II don't really think too much about how I write, I just write what's on my heart and mind. Love to share, and appreciate those that take the time to read. Thanks Joann.

Thanks RJ. Good to have you commenting again bud! x