TommyZ

Massive Ass Swished Into Vat GLUTS

At the end of the school day, everyone is itching to leave. If you let one go ... they all would go before the bell and you as the teacher could be in hot water with the administration. You didn't mention anything about the color of the trees ... was I right about that? Yes, that is true, you didn't say anything about where the story takes place but I was wondering if you had some idea when you wrote the story. It is a neat sounding place. I guess we will have to agree to disagree on "magnetizing". It does not seem to sound right to me. It (in my opinion) is a weak word to use the way you use it in a lot of your stories.

I had a little trouble with this story in the beginning because of all the errors in it. The second half of it was much better. It was pretty depressing to read that Zac couldn't be happy because he realized that there was so much pain in the world, that it would be wrong if he ever did find happiness. This, of course, was resolved in the end. Grandpa says there are three types of people. i think there is a 4th type. There are people (maybe a lot more that we would think) that are just trying to survive. They spend much of their life doing that. If you think about it a little, you realize that most people (even the ones that think they have enough resources) are an unfortunate event or catistropic lost that would put them in a position where they couldn't afford to live. There are few people that can put this aside (like Zac's parents) and do their best to make a better world. The first few paragraphs of this story really got me to thinking. Alec is trying to figure out how he can fit into the world. He has friends but is more a loner. I could really relate to what he was thinking. I don't think it had much to do with his gayness. It had more to do with the mystery of how the world works and how he can interact in a positive way. Why is there so much pain in the world? Why do some people need to take advantage of others? There seems to be enough people in the world that are successful. If they all got together and decided to help the people who are disadvantaged, it wouldn't be very long before everyone had a real chance for happiness. But how can you get it all organized so it will work? No one has the answer to that but Zac and Alec would really like to know the answer. These are really big questions to cover in a short story. I can't help feeling that these tough questions completely over shadowed the romance between the two boys. You have this big idealogical aspect and then the conflicting love between Zac and Alec. It's an interesting mix, but just like the first review, I have to say I wish there was more.

I like poetry and sometime I get it and many times I do not. When I don't get it I do have curiosity as to what the author meant by it. You ask serious authors about their work and most will tell you that each will view it differently and that is all you get. That's fine. I don't like it, but that is okay. anyway what I get out of this poem is that there is a boy who sees another boy and is immediately attracted to him but there is just a small amount of time that passes (as described by this poem) He wonders if the guy is gay but he guesses that he is not but if there were some way that they could have a meaningful relationship, that guy wouldn't work out unless he was willing to come out to the world. The greatest thing about the guy is his eyes. It is a poem that describes a very very short period of time.

This is an interesting little short story. I did pick up a few errors. Since I pointed some out in my last review and they were accepted pretty well, I guess I will do it again. "There isn't goint too snow this Christmas but" "There really hadn't been snowing this year" "thick brown mass of trees" ___ This doesn't seem to be correct because it is getting dark and even in twilight the tress would not appear to be brown, they probably would look black. "It was magnetizing ..." ____ It wouldn't be magnetizing .... maybe mesmerizing There is a place in the story where the boy is waiting for the final bell and he askes to go to the bathroom (in school) .... Well, I (as a teacher) have had classes during this time in high school and I can tell you that teachers would not let a student leave to go to the lavatory during this time. It just would not happen. You would have to have a very good reason to leave then and you couldn't just get out that easily. If you said you were going to throw up .... I would just hand you a bucket .... really. There was so much left out of the story. There were so many questions unanswered. But that was fine. The reader could fill some in. The one question I had was, would these two get together as a couple? I couldn't decide one way or the there.

I ran into this series at Nifty. Today, i read entire story. One of the things I like about it Jace's view of is sexually. For most of the series he is of the opinion that he isn't gay, or doesn't wish to be labeled as such or just does not want to think about it. I like this approach in a story. There are a lot of people that feel this way about sexually and it is good to read in a story how one person deals with it. The writing is very good. It is so good that I think that I could never write as well. So, it is a bit of a downer for me. Then again, within this story there are suggestions for beginning writers which are very well presented. I took those to heart. And then, there is the poetry. How long did it take you to write just those parts? I found myself reading some of it very slowly and more than once. This is not a big thing but there are a couple of places in the story where you meant to say the word "show" but wrote "snow" instead. As I look at my kedboard I can see how you made that mistake. I was patently waiting for the sexual parts of the story. The wait was worth it. Usually these parts of stories are predictable but not in this story. It starts out with a school type excercise??? Really? I actually was very into it. Both boys were commited writers so when Jace made the suggestion to describe what was in front of them, it was very sexy in a nonconventional way. It was so well done. One of the things I like to do in a gay romance story is to be able to visualize the dialog between the characters. The way you write the dialog makes this very easy to do. I did not plan to read the whole thing. I just couldn't leave it alone. Do I have any suggestions? Sure, keep writing. You certainly impressed the hell out of me.

I get depressed from time to time. It usually starts when I experience a series of small set backs that keep piling up and then depression hits me. I feel that (this is for me now) depression is some type of chemical inbalance in my body. I can feel it take hold of me and from experience, I know that if I wait it out long enough it will go away. It has never gotten bad enough for me to consider suicide but I can see how some people who do seriously think about commiting sucide can get to that point. You just get to feeling so bad that it doesn't matter what you have done with you life, whether you were successful or not, you just want to throw in all your cards.

Yet Every Animal's Rear Stinks well, at least it was original! BASES

Okay, sorry thanks for another "a' to give me another chance. Austin (Texas)

20-90 I really was clueless about doing something sexual with anyone. That was not the case with this guy (high school). He tried very hard to be my friend. We started off sharing a locker, at his suggestion (clueless, there were a lot of lockers, why share?) Of course, I was eventually invited to his house (no one was home except us). I was starting to get a bit antsy. Was he making advances towards me? I wasn't sure and I wasn't really thinking of him in a sexual way. He suggested that we play poker ... strip poker (now wouldn't you expect I would have some idea of what he wanted to do? Clueless). I told him I didn't want to do that and I was getting somewhat unsettled. Then, he got me into his bedroom. I sat on the bed (why was I still there???) He started to gently touch me (which turned out to be the right thing to do cuz if he had tried anything like kissing or hugging I would have been out of there). I was going 10 mph in a 65 mph speed limit. He picked up on that really well, so he started out at very low acceleration to get me up to speed. Every little thing was a shock to me but it was a small shock. You have heard of the frog in a pot full of water that is gradually heated up and he just stays there until the water boils and it's too late? Well, that is what happened. We probably all have had a break-up or two. Boil it down and tell us what was the reason for most interesting or weirdest reason for the break-up?

Hault All Paper Pushing Yuppes PBINK

Antartica

I have a doctor (male) that I see every 3 months now. He is okay. He will listen. He has he's opinions which are probably more correct than mine. Some times he is stand-offish which is fine with me. Now that I am a bit older I really feel that my health is in my hands. I know what I have to do in terms of eating (in two words NO FAT) and be a vagen, exercise (which I do but not enough) and get my weight down (I'm not that over wt but I know I have to be skinny. That last thing about getting skinny is very important to me now. I am in my 60's and I want to prepare for my 70's and 80's and hopefully 90's. God, I know what is coming. All these old people with walkers and stupid looks on their faces .... shit. I don't want that. I know there will be some major bumps in the road because the road is already turning into gravel. So, as far as a doctor, I look at it this way. If something major does come along, it's really a crap shoot if it is handled properly. Doctors know generally how to do things but they are not experts in what they do as far as treating ME. So, I don't expect all that much if say, I get cancer. If I had a lot of money, I would have several doctors on retainer and that retainer would be large enough that they would be very interested in keeping me alive. Then, you would get really super treatment. So that is not going to happen unless I will this 300 million lottery .. Oh wait! I didn't even buy a ticket ... so it's not going to happen.

Yeah, well that is going to happen. You have to deal with it. What I mean is not get so upset about that. I think that is hard to do especially if you are a young driver. The correct mind set (I am talking from experience here) when you are driving is to let the stupid stuff go and stick to the main objective we all should have when we are out on the road. That is ... TO GET TO YOUR DESTINATION WITHOUT HITTING ANYTHING! SAFELY! That means, driving is not a race with some other jerk that just has to get infront of you in traffic. What the f is that? So you get there a little later. Big sh*t. If you see someone approaching you from the rear, just get over to the slow lane if possible. Avoid touchy situations before they could possiblity cause an accident. I really dislike these old farts (Hey, I'm an old fart and I don't do this!) that drive in the fast lane going the speed limit. I know they are thinking " I'm going the speed limit so you ass*oles behind me should just slow down and I'm going to make you slow down. That is just wrong. Unfortunately there are some drivers that are not aware that they are on the road with anyone else. They are out there and they are so clueless (because of their age) that they shouldn't be driving.

Well, I do not read the Twilight stuff. At least not yet so I wouldn't be too helpful there. But I would be very interested in your ideas for a HP fanfic. I have read all the books and some fanfic stuff. So, what is your ideas for HP? Ideas on HP fanfic: how about changing the ending of HP and have the half blood prince interact with HP love ideas?? maybe one of Harry's sons getting it on with one of Hermine and ron's kids???