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layla

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  1. layla

    the places you enter

    By layla,

    I haven't been around much, but then, over the course of the last year, I haven't really done much in the way of writing. Most day, I feel like as soon as I get started i'm too tired to keep going and when I read what I wrote it reads like gibberish to me. For awhile there, I started to think that I shouldn't bother anymore, but then story ideas started flowing on to storyboards around my office, and I decided to leave the cork boards up to see if anything got done. Ech, it's slow, but something is trying to emerge. its funny, because some days I will have all these ideas and inspiration, but the get up and go dies right out of the gate and meh, its easier to sit in my easy chair beside my dog and watch tv instead of create something. I probably need to get out more and most likely rambling here, but a few weeks back I remembered how much I used to look forward to popping in here, hanging out on the chat and in the forums and interacting with people, and kicked myself for letting time get so far away from me. This whole year has felt like it's slipped away, or maybe it was just the meds I've been on making things seem out of sorts, I don't know i'm still trying to figure that part out. anyway, I'm back, put up a new story, fingers crossed I finish it. If anyone wanted to read anything else I've done that's not here, you can find it under Layla Dorine, there's some novels and stories and stuff out there. Happy reading. Drop me a line and say hi if you'd like, I need to crawl back out of my shell again. 
     
    The Places You Enter
     
     
    Tell me what you fear
    And I’ll tell you what I am
    What you are
    what is coming
    Prophesy
    My white eye sees death
    My green one the depth of your shriveled soul
    I walk paths of cobblestone
    Footsteps splashing puddles
    tracing echoes of memory
    Shattered by cawing  crows
    Black wings tipped with red
    Fluttering
    Falling without souls to curry
    No words to carry on
    I ride nightmares in a distant holler
    Searching for a place to hide
    To change
    grow
    shifting
    Evolving
    You know you can’t destroy me
    Killing what I am
    Would be killing what you’ll be
    When it all crashes to an end
    Enter
    Hold the door
    what you gain
    may be less
    than what you leave behind
     
  2. layla
    In June, it will have been a year since the release of my first novel, Guitars and Cages, through Wayward Ink, something that I never would have ever imagined, but that I am immensely proud of. it meant the fulfilling of a dream, it meant that no matter what, i would be able to say that i was a published novelist and no one could ever take that away.
     
    Since then, Broken Prince Mismatched Eyes and Desolation Angel have been released and I am in the middle of edits for Roadhouse Reds, these four novels were born here on GA and its only fitting that they be my introductions to the publishing world. I know i've been fortunate, all of my experiences so far have been wonderful. This year i finally decided to start submitting to anthologies, first with Wayward Ink, but i also have one coming out that will be through MLRPress. That story was a particularly hard one to write as it deals with suicide and I found myself remembering a friendship from my young adulthood and a young man who choose to end his life shortly before he might have graduated. He was funny, kind, tough as nails, an amazing dancer, a wonderful listener, a deep thinker and a loyal friend, which always left me wondering how he could feel that was the answer.
     
    I don't know, but i know that when i write i carry a lot of the people i've known into my stories. Sometimes I hold back, I've been striving not to do that anymore. i feel like writing has allowed me to tap into the courage i had when i was younger, but started to hide as an adult, as if i was trying to be someone other than me just to fit someone else's mold. Breaking out of that is hard, but in the process, I've discovered that it feels good to be true to myself.
     
    it feels good not to have to hide what I write either. I love my pen name, but once my mother discovered it and read Guitars and Cages that was pretty much it. even if i don't tell people what i write, she does, and I'm starting to be okay with that. I'm wrapping up a new book, in the middle of two anthology submissions, it also means the next two weeks are going to be insanely busy since i'm heading on a roadtrip on may 11 that's set to last a month and I'm excited.
     
    just got back from BDSM Con too and wow did i learn a ton. Being sick though has slowed me down this week, but i;ve made progress on my photographs at the pioneer cemetaries too, something I'm handling for my local paper. Got a traveling computer so i could keep up on the road, and my daughter whose my youngest child is finally at an age where she's excited to see what i'll bring her, rather than crying and begging me not to go away. In truth that's whats kept me pinned closer to home these last few years.
     
    I wrote out a draft for a new novel on the bus ride to everett last month, won't have time to work on it for awhile, but it will likely be my next freebie friday story once this one is done. I've got more ideas than time at the moment ,which sometimes sucks. Or maybe i just need to focus better. its likely a mix between the two.
     
    Anyway, I'm going to get back to writing now. Hope everyone has a wonderful weakened.
  3. layla
    Today is the day! Guitars and Cages (formerly known as Guitars and Crossdressers) was released today by wayward ink. I cannot thank enough those who followed, liked, encouraged, reviewed and got behind Asher's story as it was being created.
     
    I am including here a link to my blog with book trailer, link and expert from the novel, as well as in invite to join me in a quick happy dance. This is a dream come true.
     
    http://rainbowlyricsandmellowmushrooms.blogspot.com/2015/06/guitars-and-cages-release-day-author.html
  4. layla
    It’s been almost a year since I posted a blog entry, but what a different place I find myself in now to where I was a year ago which was kinda dark and more than just a little bit scary. When I read those last few blog entries I can see how much I was retreating inside myself, letting negativity and self-doubt take over and keep me from doing the things I loved. I’d stepped away from martial arts, stepped away from writing, stepped away from almost every online community I belonged to and just sort of isolated myself from the world.
     
    I’ll always be grateful to those who kept sending me PMs asking how I was and hoping I would finish Broken Prince, because at that point I really didn’t think that I ever would finish it or anything, but the constant encouragement was just the motivation I needed to get it completed. Thank you. I missed wandering the message boards, engaging in conversation in chats and threads and taking part in the anthology, but like many other things I abandoned when I was struggling, returning has been difficult. Some days I feel like the shy kid in the corner, people watching but still hesitant to take part but the thing is, the best thing I ever did was take part in this sight because it taught me not to be afraid to write what I wanted to write.
     
    In the past year, as I’ve pulled myself together, I’ve been more active in my writing group in my community, even helping to organize book signings for my fellow authors as well as being part of the committee to help set up open mic night in our town. What a huge leap for the girl who liked to hide in her darkened studio all day. I’ve attended workshops and retreats, traveled and even started attending historical events again, as well as getting back to fossil and mushroom hunting which I loved but couldn’t even manage to drag myself out of my house for last year.
     
    I’ve also been submitting my stories, thanks to Mann Ramblings for letting me know about Wayward Ink, and I wanted to share with you all that the story formally known as Guitars and Crossdressers, now know as Guitars and Cages would be appearing sometime in June. They have also accepted for publication Broken Prince, as well as Desolation Angel. I’m blown away by that, still, and know that would never have been possible without all those who read the stories as they were being created and left such wonderful feedback and comments.
     
    In the last three months I’ve completed three unfinished stories that have been languishing on my desk for the better part of the last two years, and am slowly working towards getting back to the incomplete stories I have here on the site. I won’t be posting chapters for awhile, I’ve learned a valuable lesson about not posting until I finish writing, but I wanted to let readers of those stories know they haven’t been forgotten.
     
    Didn’t mean for the blog to go so long this morning, really just wanted to say thank you to the wonderful friends and readers I have met here, and say how much I am looking forward to getting back into being active on the site again.
  5. layla

    taking a break

    By layla,

    The last two weeks have been really hard for me. For those who don't know, I have bi-polar disorder. The high points are when I do my best writing, and I usually manage to maintain my highs for quite awhile. I've learned over the years to channel all that manic energy into creating things, art, music, writing, i explore out in the woods, take pictures, ect, though I have to admit that its a pinball effect at times, bouncing from one thing to another, difficult at times to focus, but I prefer that to the lows. I am usually very good about controlling the lows and not letting myself fall to deeply into the hole, distracting myself, sticking close to my roomie, who knows how I get and how to help. These last two weeks have been bad though and its been hard to find the motivation to do anything. She's suggested that we get away for awhile, travel a bit, camp out, recharge, ect, and I think that's exactly what I need. I just want to let everyone know that I am not abandoning GA or my stories, i will be back at the end of summer with new chapters and hopefully a lot more energy and focus. thank you to my readers, editors and betas for your patience and understanding, If we have wifi places, I'll drop in and say hello. i hope everyone has a wonderful summer.
     
    Layla
  6. layla

    Some writing concerns

    By layla,

    Over the past few months I have noticed the readership of my stories has gone down, not only that, but the number of likes and reviews has dropped as well. I know some of it was due to the break from writing that i took when i switched jobs, but I am also trying to determine if it is the pacing of the stories, the content, the fact that I have four stories going at once, or some other factor that I have not figured out yet. I'd like to figure it out and improve my writing but it is difficult when chapters get 100+ views consistently, but 3 or fewer reviews most times. I feel like I am muddling along without any clear idea of where I am going wrong. How are so many of you able to cultivate followers who review/feedback consistently? Is it the number of stories, should I consider putting some on the back burner? I've found myself wondering if I should continue to work on some of the stories, if they haven't derailed or become uninteresting and just need to be brought to an end. Any help would be appreciated.
  7. layla

    thoughts

    By layla,

    So I should be sleeping, because I'm supposed to be getting up in the morning and going to compete, only, despite the time spent training and helping to set up tonight, i really don't want to go. I always loved to complete, especially when i was younger, but these last few years, the thought of having to go out there in a ring in front of people leaves me sitting up the night before in tears, trying to think of a million and one excuses to just skip out and go hide some where. I've felt that feeling creeping up on me all week and yet no really good excuse has come to mind yet. There are times when I close my eyes and i still see myself as I was when I was 18, 19, 20, and i see myself going through the form, or breaking the boards and I feel that old surge of confidence that i used to have, until I'm reminded that I'm 37 now and have damaged an ankle and hurt a knee and wrecked a shoulder and aren't as fast, and can't break as much and just plain flat out ain't as good as I used to be and how all the weight i've gained as just slowed me down even more and I ask myself why i am even going to bother going out there and embarassing myself by thinking I can even do any of this anymore when all i really, really want to do is crawl under the covers and pull them up over my head and say i was sick or something and just can't go.
     
    I don't know, in 6 hours the alarm is going to go off, and i don't want it to. I'm not ready and a part of me really just wants to quit all together and not even bother to train anymore.
  8. layla

    2014

    By layla,

    Well, it's 2014 and for me that's meant a whole bunch of changes. Right after the New Year I made my second shift in jobs in three months, the bakery job I'd taken over the holidays proved to be temporary, but in life, I've always believed that things happen for a reason and I had been looking for a reason to pour myself full bore into freelancing and writing. For the past 2 weeks I've been submitting photographs and material everywhere i can, getting my small home office set up and making contacts, now I'm happy to say I'm ready to get my focus back on writing again. It's been a struggle these past few months to have the energy and drive to write after working 10 plus hour days, which has been depressing, really, because I miss my stories and my characters I feel horrible for making everyone wait for chapters for so long. My goal is to have a new chapter out for each story each week until they are completed. Once Broken Prince and Guitars two are done I will be focusing on one story at a time, splitting my focus hasn't really been beneficial and it seems like one story always seems to take precidence over another, so there will only be one story in the works from here on out. Thanks again to everyone who has stuck with my stories through my miserable few months and thanks to the friends I've made here who drop lines of encouragement whenever i'm away too long.
     
    Love you all
     
    Layla
  9. layla

    Mid-summer blog

    By layla,

    Summer is about halfway over, and wow, what a summer it’s been. The trip to Colorado was amazing, so much inspiration there that I started penning a brand new story that will eventually be released once I’ve finished writing it. To wake up in the morning and be so close to nature, stand in the face of all those beautiful mountains and know you have nothing but time to go explore was just an awesome experience.
     
    The heat sort of kicked up after I came back, Iowa is never fun when it’s hot, so all in all I haven’t gotten as much accomplished this summer as I’d planned (no A/C makes for a grouchy and miserable Layla), but that just means I have a ton of fall projects already set aside. I did get six new batches of Jam made Saturday when the weather finally cooled. Plus some weeding in the garden done. It’s coming in nicely, will certainly have tons of cucumbers for pickling and Zucchini for bread. Should have a good crop of pumpkins and watermelon this year too and who knows, maybe this will be the year we have okra to spare.
     
    Concert last week was an amazing 3 day event. Creedence, Loveboy, Joan Jett and the Blackharts on day 1, god damn Creedence rocked out the whole venue. Day 2, I spent most of my time watching from a picnic table and writing. The music was good – 10 Year, Flyleaf, TUGG, but the only band I really wanted to be part of the crowd for that night was Sublime. Love outdoor venues and how easy it is to rotate in and out of the crowd without missing anything. Day 3 I was parked up front on the rail for Trapt, Drowning Pool, Sick Puppies, Bret Michaels and Buckcherry, it was an amazing performance by all. Got trapts autograph, a drowning pool guitar pick, a sick puppies playlist from the stage, just wow on experiences there. Loved camping in the campground and actually being up at the main part of the place early because band members actually wandered through and would talk to the few people milling around up there.
     
    Came home to my birthday, 37, wow, it’s the first year I didn’t feel like I’d aged a year if that makes sense. It’s funny, but this last year I’ve never been happier. I’ve finally gotten to that point in my life where I have free time again for me and can explore the things I love to do. Spending my days in the woods when I’m not working, glued to my camera has given me a sense of freedom that I felt like I’d lost.
     
    Getting to write again and share it with everyone here at GA has been so inspiring. Getting up this morning, I sat and wrote a chapter, working on a second one now actually, had some tea, listened to the spawn working their garden outside and feeling truly blessed to just have time to enjoy a simple day working on a story.
     
    Roadhouse Red’s indecently, is almost complete. By the end of the night there should only be 5 chapters left to write. Its sad to see the story wind down, but I feel so lucky to be almost finished with it as the first chapter was written years ago and then forgotten in a drawer. I’d almost given up hope of ever finishing it, until it found a home here on GA and a loyal group that followed, read, reviewed, liked and encouraged.
     
    That’s really the true treasure of GA, the inspiration and motivation to be found in the readers, reviewers, Editors and Betas who take the time to follow the stories and help them grow to completion. I’ll be taking this week to finish writing those 5 chapters and get them to Mann and JoAnn, my Editor/Beta team, so that I can turn my attention back to Broken Prince and bringing you a chapter, if not more a week. I have the story all planned out, its just a matter of getting it complete as well.
     
    Guitars 2 is all planned out as well, my trips so far have provided me plenty of time and clarity to brainstorm. The Desolation Angel’s sequel has also been planned out as well, though no writing has taken place on it yet. I want to finish Red’s, Broken and the story drafted in the mountains first. 3 stories at once has definitely been an undertaking, I apologize for not always getting up a chapter of each story a week. From here on out, I won’t be posting new stories until there are already several chapters stockpiled, in case I fall behind on my writing again.
     
    Anyway, thanks for reading, thanks for helping me make Promising, and thanks for helping make GA a wonderful experience. Here’s to many, many more stories to come
  10. layla

    Back from Vacation

    By layla,

    Well, where to begin.
     
    The trip was amazing, being up in the mountains, spending the days hiking and on horseback taking pictures was just this intensely peaceful and relaxing feeling. The first night there I arrived in the mountains too late to do much but have a campfire and cook dinner and start taking pictures of the mountains and the area around the campground. Mostly different birds and plants, cactus (cacti?) that were flowering, things like that. An osprey, (I think), some gophers , and the majestic mountains. The second day I was up at 6:30, cooked a quick egg breakfast over the fire, hand an apple with it and hiked down to the shuttle that took backpackers between trails. I hiked to a place called fern falls, saw a bear lol, (thankfully from a distance) and saw plenty of elk and other critters.
     
    Second day I spent I horseback, going up and down trails and taking pictures along the way. I hadn’t ridden in 2 years but it all came back quick and easy and it was so much fun. Saw mule deer and elk, awesome views, some neat flora and fauna, and of course, different views of the mountains. Third day I was again up at 6:30, did some hiking, a little fishing, then went on a jeep ride up and down some trails and holy cow, that was wild, learned a great deal about the mountains, took tons of pics, including some from an observation tower with a 360 degree view of the mountains and plains. That night I also got to take pics in the Stanley Hotel where the Shinning was written (and based off of).
     
    Forth day in the mountains was spent during even more hiking, bear lake and beaver lake trails, its so peaceful up there before tourist season hits, I can’t wait to go back but the next itme I go will be with a backcountry pass so I can hike even further into the mountains.
    Each night, being able to sit about the campfire was awesome, I got a ton of notes on all of my stories written, things plotted out, decided on some directions and did a ton of writing while on the bus as well.
     
    So, in regards to my stories, I just need to sit down now and type up new chapters for all of them. I’ve had a pretty busy few days since being back, its felt like a whirlwind in comparison to my laid back vacation. Finally replaced the living room couch today, YEY, the old one was slowly becoming a death trap of springs and broken recliner parts.
     
    There’s 3 pics up from the trip, I’ll prolly put more up later. Gonna start a chapter now, hopefully finish it tomorrow, Iowa is hot, I already miss the cool of the mountains.
  11. layla

    Pree-vacation Blog

    By layla,

    Just wanted to drop a quick note to the readers of my stories. I'd like to apologize in advance, i don't think i will be able to get another chapter of Broken Prince up before I leave on Saturday, but the good news is i plan to have several chapters written in my notebook by the time i come back on the 8th, so I'll be making up for the missed weeks then.
     
    A chapter of Guitars 2 before I leave is a possiblity, its written and in the hands of my wonderful Editor Lisa and the latest chapter of Roadhouse Reds just went up. I won't have a laptop in the mountains while im camping, but i'll be writing in notebooks to type things up when I get back. really looking forward to seeing colorado and taking pictures there, ill prolly upload some when i get back.
     
    Thank you to all the readers who have been keeping up with my stories I look forward to coming back home with a bunch of new chapters for you.
  12. layla

    beautiful weekend

    By layla,

    Just got home from an awesome mother/daughter weekend with my nine year old daughter, and just, wow, the memories made on this trip are just priceless. We drove down to cedar rapids yesterday morning and spent the morning exploring the city, taking in the beautiful architexture and museums as well as having a nice dinner together and then totally going gaga over the half price bookstore we found. I think we both could have moved in there for a week and still not explored everything. After the bookstore we found a park and took a stroll through it at around sunset, feeding the ducks and walking around their pond for awhile.
     
    We sat up late last night drawing, reading and watching the Disney channel before falling asleep, had homemade waffles for breakfast (I’ve never made waffles from scratch before, that was neat, with the waffle iron and all though I nearly made a mess lol) We found a market filled with artisans and food venders and had a blast wandering through it and sampling things before we went to the art museum and spent almost three hours exploring the exhibits. She was really taken with the Roman busts, as well as the Grant Wood collection (he is the artist who did American Gothic)
    Hearing her thoughts and impressions of the artwork helped me look at the pieces with different eyes and from a different point of view, and I love how excited she is to visit more museums, it isn’t something we have much opportunity for in the rural area where we live.
     
    We capped the day off by seeing the Twin City Ballet’s performance of Cinderella, which was just beautifully done. She was captivated by the dancers and watched with rapt attention on the edge of her seat through the whole performance. I was so glad that the weather was gorgeous for our outing. So many times when we go places we have a full van so to speak, it was awesome to have time just her and I.
  13. layla

    Current Playlist

    By layla,

    So all the talk about music in chats the last few nights has me posting the playlist I'm currently writing to while working on Broken Prince and Mismatched Eyes. I'll post the playlist for Roadhouse Reds as soon as I have one pulled together, maybe that one is flowing so slowly because it doesn't have a playlist yet lol So yeah, anyone wanting to suggest songs for that one or good songs to write by, throw some my way!
     
    Playlist for Broken Prince
     

    -Broken (Seether)
    -Monster you Made (Pop Evil)
    -Every Storm Runs outta Rain (Garry Allen)
    - Hurt (Johnny Cash)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHnlhxfhKWM - if you could read my mine (Johnny Cash)

    - I drive your truck (Lee Brice)http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=T3rXdeOvhNE&NR=1 -Photograph (nickleback)

    -Many Rivers to Cross (Jimmy Cliff)
    - The Lost Boy (Greg Holden)
    - Lips of an Angel (Hinder)
    - Sorry (Buckcherry)
    - On the Turning Away (Pink Flyod)
    - Something i can never have (NIN)
  14. layla

    Procrastination Rant

    By layla,

    I don’t want to do my homework, I find it difficult to care about my assignments for the week, I am apathetic to the point where procrastination has become my one friend, and yet, I only have five days left of the class. Logic would say just go ahead and hurry up and get stuff done, but I can’t, because I cannot find the motivation to care about the stuff I was assigned to do. I have a low A at the moment, I never expected to get better than a B out of the class, so of course, I sit here and tell myself that I have wiggle room to mess up, because it’s hard to be motivated to do stuff you’re told over and over is wrong anyway.
     
    Maybe that’s the biggest part of my frustration with the class, going into it knowing it was a weak subject for me and one I had little interest in but needed to pass as it is a requirement. Looking at the first weeks assignments I was immediately put off by them, and that just grew and grew week after week until not caring became outright anger at some of my classes.
     
    Couple that with lack of sleep though, and all that anger and frustration has been a downer this week, leaving me close to tears on a constant basis two days in a row. I just want this done, I want this over with, I want my time free to actually do stuff I care about doing again, I want the snow to stop, I want to get out into the woods, I want to take pictures, I want to go hiking, I do not ever ever ever want to draw another stupid human based character because those do not interest me in the slightest.
     
    I get it, I do, they want us to be well rounded, they want us to be able to pick up a model sheet and be able to follow it, but I am more of an idea person, concept art, not the actual animation, I’ll come up with the ideas, the character sketches, the backgrounds, the scripts, I’ll edit, I’ll do exposure sheets, I’ll do sound effects, ect, ect, I just do not ever plan to be the person who has to draw the same thing over and over because repetition is NOT my friend when it comes to that.
     
    You ever wanna see a person freak out and come up with 115 different things they can do to avoid doing something, give me a task where I have to repeat a process over and over and over. My concentration and focus just goes right out the window, and my stubbornness sets in and with me stubborn and angry go hand in hand and then I’m trying to think up ways to calm down before I have a meltdown and leave myself grouchily unable to do anything.
     
    Have been somewhere between depressed and ranting/raving lunatic all week, culminating in this rant, which is yet another bit of procrastination on my part as I do not want to do tonight’s assignment either. When this class is over on wednsday night, I have a bottle of SoCo in the corner with my name on it, and I plan to see just how much of it can be consumed in a siting.
     
    So um, to those reading my rant, thanks for letting me rant.
  15. layla

    Venting and Such

    By layla,

    So my new class has started and I already hate every bit of it which is never a good way to kick things off. It’s an advanced 2D animation
    class and I figured out years back that 2D was not a style that I preferred, but this is a core class and the last 2D class I have to take for my major. The plus is that my classes are only five and a half weeks, the drawback to that though is that they are a very intensive five and a half weeks and the teacher is picky as hell about every little thing and that isn’t helping me much either. We were assigned characters, which took away the freedom to create, and what’s worse is that we were all assigned the SAME character, and given a character turn around sheet to basically copy the character from. Well, gee, I’m just so thrilled to have no creative freedom whatsoever, yay, I just really feel like drawing now NOT! He asked for thumbnails, and then said they wrong because they weren’t detailed, thumbnails are not supposed to have that much
    detail, at least not the way they were explained in other classes, what he’s asking for is a storyboard, only he sure didn’t word it that way so now the time I spent drawing last night was wasted because it all has to be done again. Joy.
     
    So why am I typing this rant instead of drawing….because I hate this class and I don’t want to draw some stupid, droopy, slacker human character for a comedy club skit when I hate comedies and think the script I came up with is stupid. Mostly though, I’m just venting before I sit here and redo the mess I’ve made of my work so I can actually move on to something more amusing till I have to draw again. If I don’t vent I’ll just sit here and stew and be angry for hours like a petulant little kid while my kids walk through the living room laughing at all the paper I’ve thrown all over the place and whispering comments to one another that “mommy’s pouting.”
  16. layla

    Music and creativity

    By layla,

    I absolutely can’t work without sound, doesn’t matter if it’s drawing or writing or sewing or cooking, I have to have music playing or I have to sing, no other background sound will do. I’ve tried the TV, but unless I want to put it to the classic rock or alternative music channel, then the TV is useless too and usually it’s on for sports so I can watch the game, (like now- Minnesota’s winning!) but not really have to listen to it. So as I was sitting working on another chapter of Desolation Angel, I thought I’d take a moment (because lord knows I love to distract myself lol) and share the playlist I’ve used for the story since it started, and ask the question of others out there what they listen to when they’re writing or creating, and if the music ends up fitting or influencing the mood, theme or emotion of the piece.
     
    Playlist:
    John Moreland – Earthbound Blues (entire album)
    John Moreland –Everything the Hard Way (entire album)
    Elton John – Tiny Dancer
    Black Label Society – (just about anything and everything)
    Nine Inch Nails –Something I Can Never Have
    Shawn Mullins –Soul’s Core (entire album)
    Danielia Cotton – Let it Ride
    You and Tequila – Kenny Chesney
    Even If it Breaks Your heart – Eli Young Band
    Pink Floyd – Wish you Were here and One the Turning Away (and just about anything else)
    Emily Browning –Asleep
    Tom Waits (just about anything and everything)
    Greg Holden – The Lost Boy
    Bruce Springsteen (anything and everything)
    Charlie Parker (anything and everything)
    Stevie Ray Vaughn (anything and everything)
    Bob Dylan (anything and everything)
    The Doors (anything and everything)
    Neil Young (just about anything)
    Jimi Hendrix – All Along the Watchtower, Hey Joe, Voodoo Child

     
    I'm always open to musical suggestions, i love hearing about and learning or new bands and new music and am pretty open to most types of music, though pop/boy bands have never been my thing. I love Jazz, Country, Gospel, Metal, Rock, Classic Rock, Industrial, Alternative, Blues, some Classical, and just about ANYTHING that is guitar heavy. I don't have a playlist planned for the new story I'll be starting after the first of the years, when 'Angels' is done, so I'm really looking for ideas and suggestions for songs I can really get lost in while i work.
  17. layla

    Second Guessing

    By layla,

    I was writing yesterday, and I hit a place in a chapter where I stumbled and had a hard time continuing on, not because I didn’t know what was supposed to happen there, but because I was second guessing myself and what had come to me while I’d been outside thinking earlier in the day. I do this a lot really, second guessing myself when I write, stopping myself from going to the place I was headed out of fear that I might be going too far or that it won’t sit well with others. I’ve found that when I second guess, I’m not usually as happy with how the thing turned out as I am when I just go with my gut, and let the story go where the characters wanted to take it. I found myself wondering how many others out there do the same thing when they write, and if it was just a common thing in writers, or if I was spending too much time ‘thinking’ and not enough time just going with the flow. I recently read over the first story I posted here to GA, Cold Confusion, and I could actually count all the places where I second guessed myself and didn’t go where I had intended to go. I like the story, but I think it could have been a stronger one if I’d written what had come to mind, rather than downgraded, downplayed, shortchanged, or downright did away with some of the thing that I’d had planned. One day maybe I’ll re-write that one and add in all the things I left out.
  18. layla
    I've been meaning to do a new blog post for awhile, but now I have a bunch of things to share. As those who have been reading ....And All Shall Fade To Black have seen, i have finally started working on a new story after more than a year. This doesn't mean that I've forgotten my other works, I have plans to finish them all, as time frees itself up. About a month ago I landed a job with the local newspaper, something i had initially applied for when I first got to town a decade ago. It's a thrill to be doing journalism again, it's also helped me deal with some social anxiety issues, including talking to people I don't know, especially since I have to call people on the phone or actually approach them for quotes and interviews.
     
    In the meantime, Broken Prince, Mismatched Eyes was released as an ebook through Wayward ink, the amazon link can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Prince-Mismatched-Eyes-Mauritanian-ebook/dp/B017WXGBM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1454191356&sr=1-1
     

    I created an author website with links to all of my ongoing projects : http://layladorine13.wix.com/layladorineauthor
     
    And Desolation Angel, one of my first stories here on GA was picked up by Wayward Ink as well, in fact, they have also accepted for publication, Guitars 2, Roadhouse Reds, and the dirtbike story I never had the chance to place on GA. It's sometimes kinda surreal, to think someone enjoyed my work that much to want to publish so many pieces of it.
     
    I wanted to do ...And All Shall Fade because it was a chance to work on something I could share 'in the process' again, and because the encouragement and support I received here was the only thing that made me dare show my writing to a publisher in the first place.
     
    It's great to be back sharing stories on GA, and I hope some of you will consider supporting my Thunderclap campaign to better promote my author website, it's free to support it, just a click of the link and a choice of which social media to support-share through. https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/37020-guitars-broken-prince-n-more
     
    I've also been writing short stories since I've been away, with one appearing in March's Mix and match anthology through Wayward ink and another that just got picked up by MLR press. I'm hopefully of being able to take part in one of GAs anthologies this year too as i finally feel like I've gotten my mojo back writing again.
  19. layla
    Phew Fair is over for the year. Its been a long week with little time to write, unfortunately, but now my summer is finally winding back down to normal. Got to teach my daughter to make Jam (she did strawberry, raspberry, blueberry) for her fair entry as well as watch her show her first cow. Was so proud of the way she handled Buttercup, her 8 month old calf, in the bucket/bottle calf show.
     
    My son got selected to go to state again this year (second year in a row) for a photo he’d taken during photography camp this year. He also had a second photo considered for State and a woodworking prject considered for State. While the woodworking ended up not going to State, he was asked to display it at our conservation center and give a talk on the crafting process. So very proud of him for how much effort he put into creating it.
     
    I was awarded three blue ribbons in photography this year and three for Jams, along with 2 seconds in each category as well. Got to watch the figure 8 races and the demo derby as well as a concert and tractor pull, and tons of animal judging this year, which was a lot of fun. Finally getting to sit down tonight and get caught up on a few things, so hopefully writing projects will be back on track after this week.
     
    A few notes on that, as I never did get to finish Roadhouse Reds due to the fair, that will be finished this week, without fail, everything is outlined, and at one chapter a night I will have it done by Friday. That puts me finally able to focus on Broken Princes and getting that back on schedule. Guitars 2 as well, though that one has a bit easier flow and is quicker to write.
     
    Want to take a moment to thank Mann and JoAnn for all the time they’ve put in as Editors and Beta on Roadhouse Reds to help me get the last of the chapters out so fast, I think we had 4 chapters get out the week before last. This will be the last big week on that project, YEY. Thanks to all of my readers for putting up with my weird schedule this summer, its been a crazy, hectic, fun summer so far, but I am more than ready to get back focused on my writing.
     
    Thanks all J
  20. layla
    2012 is almost done…wow, just a few more hours and a ton more wine. I’m so ready. I think I’ll walk around town with the camera tonight, if it’s not too cold, take some pictures of the drunks staggering out into the snow. What a way to ring in the New Year huh. 2012 was fun for me and full of self-discovery and adventures, conquering fears and discovering new ones. I decided to list my five biggest triumphs of 2012, as well as a list of things I plan to do in the 2013 in the hopes that listing them will mean I get to cross things off the list as the year goes on.
     
    Top 5 triumphs of 2012
    Earning my black belt in Tae Kwon Do
    Having my nature photos put up on display at the library and the nature center in town
    Having 2 blue ribbon jellies at the summer fair (blackberry-lemonade and cherry-limeade)
    Actually completing a novel which I doubt would have happened if I hadn’t found my way here to GA
    Getting my GPA back up to a 3.9 (only one more year left till I finish this course of study yey!)
     
    To do list
    Make blackberry wine from the blackberries in the garden
    Spend 4 days camping out by the caves in the eastern part of my state
    Go to Sturgis
    Spend a week hiking and taking pictures in Colorado
    Trap that pesky rabbit who lives in my garden so he doesn’t get to half the vegies this year
    Get my bow hunting license, see if I do better than I did with the shotgun this year
    Lose 50 pounds
    Spend some serious time playing my guitar again
    Christen the bonfire ring, I got it built, still haven’t lit a fire in it
    Get the strawberry patch planted, and make sure the pumpkins go in on time this year
    Finish all the half-finished crafts in the craft bin
    Take and pass the 3ds max head class I’ve been dreading
    Go canoeing for the first time in 15 years
    Convert that old shed out back to a working machine shed
    Finally check out all those local winerys I keep on meaning to go see
    Take my oldest to monster truck racing and my youngest to the theater to see a play
    Learn to make Christmas fudge without wrecking it
    Finish the uncompleted writings scattered all over my room.
  21. layla

    A story ends a story begins

    By layla,

    Desolation Angels is finished, wow, what a month, I never expected that a short little draft scribbled in my journal while sitting in a little blind squirrel hunting would morph into what it did. I loved every step of the writing process, even the chapters where I knew the characters were going to hurt were exciting pieces to write because I knew that in the end, there would be good things for them. I want to take a moment to thank again everyone who read the story, everyone who ‘liked’ it and everyone who reviewed, because that was the encouragement I needed to put fingers to keyboard each day and get the next chapter done. I have too many starts and not enough finishes, so many notebooks filled with ideas and drafts and outlines but hardly any completed works so to finish “Angels’ was a huge accomplishment for me, one that I’m glad I could share here on GA.
     
    This isn’t the end for the Angels though, in fact, I suspect it is just the beginning. I’m sure in time they’ll tour and there will be a story to come out of all their exploits on the road. Ray’s story as well is tumbling around in the back of my mind, and I think Jonathan might have a thing or two to say as well. I guess we’ll all see what time brings. Until then, I hope some of you will check out Guitars and Crossdressers as some members of the ‘Angels’ crew will be filtering through that as well. While Angels went up pretty quick, I don’t expect Guitars to be so easy to write, especially with snow finally on the ground here in my little part of the world, I can get the camera back out and take some more pictures before school kicks off again. I do plan to have Guitars finished by Jan 20th, the day before my next class starts. Its Advanced 2D animation, which means a ton of drawing, which I loath, especially when it’s the same figure over and over but it’s the last 2D class required for my major, thank the gods. I much prefer working in 3D or a photo medium.
     
    So glad I found my way to GA, this is a great community to be part of and I look forward to doing a ton of reading, writing and reviewing in the upcoming year. Happy (soon to be) New Years Everyone. Stay safe and have fun.
  22. layla

    Leaving Alone - A poem

    By layla,

    I wait for you
    When the black leather seats of the diner
    Are no longer plush
    And stuffing oozes
    Like mashed potatoes
    From broken stitching
    Cracked
    Faded
    Like the rearview
    I watch for you in
    Walking
    Through fields of blooming clover
    Thumb out
    Waiting
    For the aged silver bus
    Painted in flowers
    To ride on by
    And me
    In beads and braids
    Hanging out the window
    Mellow and warm
    Swaying
    To old freedom songs
    Lost
    Now
    In the pounding rhythm of a country
    So far removed
    From all that is holy
    It has forgotten
    The blood
    The magic
    The sex
    Spilled and leaked
    On the old highways
    That forged America
    And pumped life
    Into withered veins
    Pain
    And agony
    Torture
    In restriction
    The loss
    Of what made us gods
    Haunting
    The American nights
    Where Jazz is dead
    And blues are the swirling neon
    Of too many bars
    All pressed together
    In tiny rows
    Huddled
    Pretending there nothing wrong
    With a place
    That says come in empty
    And leave alone.
  23. layla

    The unfinished masses

    By layla,

    I found myself organizing today, somewhere in between all the edits on my final project and the frustrating realization that I needed some help or advice from my teacher before I proceeded any further, which, incidentally, had me at that place somewhere between tears and puking my guts out, when the heart is racing and everything seems to be going a little too fast to be real. Anyway, in an effort to calm down and not freak out, since of course it just HAD to be raining outside, so you know, going for a walk was out of the question, it's too damned cold to get wet out there on a night like tonight, I started sorting through old journals and pieces of writing, looking at all the things I've started but never finished, ideas that were outlined but never got off the ground, character creations that fizzled before the story even began. As I looked, I was reminded that somewhere in that pile, I had a notebook filled with ideas, and progress and thoughts on them that was supposed to help me pick my next project to work on, a novel concept, if I could have stuck to it, but somehow, I always ended up in some other direction, hijacked by my muse and leaving all those other projects behind. My roomie is forever telling me that lack of organization means you’re a more creative person, and I’m forever telling her that lack of organization leaves me wanting to either pull my hair out or gouge my eyes out, depending on the day. All in all, I found myself sitting here at near 4 in the morning, a new chapter of my story finished and ready to be proofread and edited, thinking that while I wait on some (hopefully) divine intervention from my teacher, I should look more carefully at all those notebooks, and give some serious thought to whether or not there’s anything in the pile that can actually be saved. I asked my cat’s opinion, he’s a wise Ginger Tom with the sweetest disposition in the world, and he sort of purred and curled up, nudging my hand in that way that suggests either write something or pet me, damnit. So here it is, my first blog. Joining up here at GA has done wonders for my creative process, and who knows, maybe things will finally get finished.
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