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January 16th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Pope Benjamin (Coptic) Berard of Carbio Blaise (Armenian Apostolic) Fursey Joseph Vaz Honoratus of Arles Pope Marcellus I Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God (Coptic Church) Titian of Oderzo Eve of Saint Anthony observed with ritual bonfires in San Bartolomé de Pinares January 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) National Religious Freedom Day (United States) Teacher's Day (Myanmar) Teachers' Day (Thailand) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Appreciate a Dragon Day Book Publishers Day International Fetish Day International Hot and Spicy Food Day Isra and Mi'raj National Boston Day National Fig Newton Day National Good Teen Day National Quinoa Day National Without a Scalpel Day Prohibition Remembrance Day Signing of the Peace Accords International Rooibos Day Aaliyah’s Birthday Jennie Kim’s Birthday Jubilee Sharpe’s Birthday Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Birthday Ruby Rube’s Birthday Sidharth Malhotra’s Birthday Fun Observances Nothing Day January 16 is Nothing Day, a day to celebrate, well, nothing. Started by newspaper columnist Harold Pullman Coffin in 1973, the unofficial holiday aims to provide people “with a day where they can just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring anything." An Un-Event The day is an "un-event", which means that it should not be seen as an event and that one should do nothing to promote it as such. So instead of promoting the day, we will tell you more about nothing. Nothing is an indefinite pronoun that means no thing or not anything. It refers to a person or a thing of no importance, consequence, or interest. Debates Over Nothing History is full of debates between philosophers and writers on the importance and the study of nothing. Some philosophers believe that the study of the nature of nothing is a useless endeavor since there is nothing like nothing - to answer the question, what is nothing, one must find nothing. There is also some disagreement among physicists about the true nature of nothingness in outer space. Many claim that even a true vacuum, devoid of anything is not nothing, because even if it doesn't have any particles of gravity, it contains quantum particles. How to Celebrate? Observe Nothing Day by celebrating nothing. Learn facts about absolutely nothing. Learn more about how the notion of nothingness features in philosophy and science. Watch the Seinfeld episode, The Pitch. In this episode of the popular TV series, George Costanza comes up with the idea of creating a TV show about nothing. Did You Know… …that zero as a number was discovered in India in the 9th century AD? *** For Mother’s Day: My Mom Taught Me … Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” Humor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!” *** My coworker at the hotel was miserable at his job and was desperately searching for a new one. "Why don’t you work for your mother?" I suggested. He shook his head. "I can’t," he said. "Her company has a very strict policy against hiring relatives." "Who made up that ridiculous rule?" "My mother." *** I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake. "Hi!" It was my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week. "Mom," I interrupted. "It's five in the morning." "Really? What are you doing up so early?" *** When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. When I returned him to his parents, they asked him how he enjoyed his pony ride. He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: SUCCULENT Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster SUCCULENT Synonyms: 87 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus Examples of 'SUCCULENT' in a Sentence | Merriam-Webster What Makes Succulents SUCCULENT? - Debra Lee Baldwin

January 15th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Arbor Day (Egypt) Armed Forces Remembrance Day (Nigeria) Army Day (India) Christian feast day: Abeluzius (Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church) Arnold Janssen Francis Ferdinand de Capillas (one of Martyr Saints of China) Ita Our Lady of the Poor Macarius of Egypt (Western Christianity) Maurus and Placidus (Order of Saint Benedict) Paul the Hermit January 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) John Chilembwe Day (Malawi) Korean Alphabet Day (North Korea) Ocean Duty Day (Indonesia) Teacher's Day (Venezuela) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Alpha Kappa Alpha Day National Booch Day National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day National Hat Day National Kayla Day National Pothole Day Spring Festival Golden Week holiday Wikipedia Day Women’s Healthy Weight Day The Washing of Bonfim Public Domain Day National American Eskimo Dog Day Get to Know Your Customers Day Caroline Arapoglou’s Birthday Chicago West’s Birthday Dove Cameron’s Birthday Drew Brees’s Birthday Martin Luther King’s Birthday Pitbull’s Birthday Regina King’s Birthday Steph Toms’s Birthday Ben Shapiro ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 15th, 2026 - Wed Jan 21st, 2026 Energy Saving Week Thu Jan 15th, 2026 - Sat Jan 24th, 2026 Farmhouse Breakfast Week Fun Observances (2) Strawberry Ice Cream Day January 15 is Strawberry Ice Cream Day. It is an unofficial holiday that celebrates ice cream made with strawberries or added strawberry flavors. It is believed that the ice cream flavor, which is now popular around the world, was invented in 1813 in the United States by First Lady Dolley Madison, and it was served during her husband, President James Madison’s second inaugural banquet at the White House. Used as Medicine Strawberries, a member of the rose family, were consumed by our ancestors for its medicinal purposes. The ancient Romans thought that the fruit could cure depression, sadness and kidney stones. Modern day studies have shown that strawberries are a good source of Vitamin C and consumption of the fruit can reduce the levels of bad cholesterol in humans. The holiday is also known as National Strawberry Ice Cream Day in the United States. How to Celebrate? I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Strawberry ice cream to be more precise. Here are some ways to honor this hugely popular ice cream: Celebrate the day with strawberry ice cream. Have strawberry ice cream for all your meals during the day. Make your own strawberry ice cream at home. What about adding new flavors like balsamic vinegar and mint to your tried and tested strawberry ice cream recipe? Did You Know… …that botanically, a strawberry is not a fruit at all? Instead, it is a receptacle - the thick part of a stem from which a flower grows. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bagel and Lox Day Bagel and Lox Day is an unofficial holiday dedicated to the quintessential Jewish American dish made of bagels, cream cheese, and lox or cured salmon. This holiday of unknown origins is also often known as National Bagel Day or Bagel Day. In 2018, Thomas', a division of Bimbo Bakeries USA, decided to move the date of National Bagel Day from February 9 to January 15 to avoid competing with National Pizza Day. Despite this, many people still prefer to celebrate this holiday on the original date of February 9. Ring Shaped Bread Popularized first by Jewish immigrants in New York City, bagels and lox is a classic combination and is a dish usually eaten during breakfast or for brunch. Traditionally from Poland, bagels are ring-shaped bread made out of wheat dough that is first boiled and then baked to give it its distinctive chewy texture. The hole in the middle is thought to make it easier for the bagel to cook as well as easier for bakers to transport and store lots of bagels at one time – all they need to do is to string a rope or thread through the bagel holes. Lox and Schmear The word lox is derived from the Yiddish word for salmon, laks. In the United States, lox is brined and cured salmon that has been sliced very thinly. On a bagel, it is usually served with cream cheese, popularly called schmear, from the German word for spread. How to Celebrate This one’s easy. Just go to your closest deli and get yourself a bagel with cream cheese and lox. Don’t have a deli close to you? Make the sandwich yourself at home – all you’ll need is some cream cheese, a bagel, and some lox. Add a slice of tomato or onion and you have a delicious meal ready! Did You Know… ...that the shape of a bagel – a ring with a hole – is technically called a torus? The word torus comes from the Latin word for cushion. *** A musician friend is always upbeat. But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might overwhelm even her. When I asked whether her condition was especially annoying to a musician, she shook her head. “Not really,” she said cheerfully. “The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello half a tone lower.” *** Q: What happens if you play a county song backwards? A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison. *** I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say, “Hey, that was a Stop sign.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!” A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, “You just ran a red light.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!” So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say, “It’s green; why are you slowing down?” He says, “My brother might be coming.” *** As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open the register. "Open my register," "Please let me start," and "Give me the go-ahead," were some of the terms used by cashiers. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** (Pictures with the family pets) *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: RUTHLESS Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster RUTHLESS Synonyms: 113 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus RUTHLESSNESS Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

January 14th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Barba'shmin Devasahayam Pillai (Catholic Church) Divina Pastora (Barquisimeto) Eivind Berggrav (Lutheran) Felix of Nola Macrina the Elder Odoric of Pordenone January 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Defender of the Motherland Day (Uzbekistan) Feast of the Ass (Medieval Christianity) Flag Day (Georgia) National Forest Conservation Day (Thailand) Old New Year, and its related observance: Azhyrnykhua (Abkhazia) Yennayer (Berbers) Ratification Day (United States) Sidereal winter solstice celebrations in South and Southeast Asian cultures; marking the transition of the Sun to Capricorn, and the first day of the six months Uttarayana period. (see April 14): Magh Bihu (Assam) Maghe Sankranti (Nepal) Maghi (Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh) Makar Sankranti (India) The first day of Pongal (Tamil Nadu) Uttarayan (Uttarakhand, Gujarat and Rajasthan) World Logic Day (UNESCO) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Cesarean Section Day International Kite Day Makar Sankranti National Dress Up Your Pet Day National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day National Take the Stairs Day National Undhiyu Day Novy God (Russian New Year) Orthodox New Year Take a Missionary to Lunch Day Alejandro Rosario’s Birthday Dave Grohl’s Birthday Gatsby the Corgi’s Birthday Jason Bateman’s Birthday Kai’s Birthday LL Cool J’s Birthday Mackenzie Turner’s Birthday Benedict Arnold Holland Taylor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wed Jan 14th, 2026 - Thu Jan 15th, 2026 Magh Bihu Wed Jan 14th, 2026 - Sat Jan 17th, 2026 Pongal Fun Observances Organize Your Home Day January 14 get started early on this year's spring cleaning and organizing on Organize Your Home Day. It may sound like a lot of work, but you will thank us later. Your home will be organized, ready to receive company at a moment’s notice and more importantly, if you keep it up throughout the year, you will have an organized home next year this unofficial holiday rolls by. Beneficial All Year Being organized can balance your life. It can reduce stress and makes you more productive. It can stop you looking for things, of having to buy new things that you don't need. If you make it your way of life today, it can soon become a habit and you will reap the benefits for years to come. How to Celebrate? Get your cleaning supplies out and get scrubbing and organizing. Rope in your family to help you organize, give everyone a task and award them for finishing them. Hold an organizing party, and have friends help you. You can thank them by making them their favorite meal or by helping them organize their home in return. Make an organization itinerary. Attack a room or an area every week and you will have an organized home in no time. Declutter by donating things you don't use anymore. Did You Know… …that cleaning can help burn calories? On average, mopping the floors for an hour will help you lose about 160 calories. *** Spotted on a Laundromat corkboard: “Please keep clothes on while doing laundry.” *** Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. *** The four most beautiful words in our common language: 
I told you so. *** I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by. *** You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace. *** A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. *** Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it. *** The holiday 
season:
a deeply religious 
time that each of us 
observes, in his own way, by going to the 
 mall of his choice. *** Being president is like 
running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening. ---Bill Clinton *** I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —Ronald Reagan *** As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties, and the marital counselor said I needed to do something sexy to a tractor." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: RECALCITRANT Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster RECALCITRANT Synonyms: 142 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus Examples of 'RECALCITRANT' in a Sentence | Merriam-Webster

January 13th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Blessed Veronica of Milan Elian Hilary of Poitiers Mungo St. Knut's Day or Tjugondag Knut, the last day of Christmas. (Sweden and Finland) January 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Mongolia) Democracy Day (Cape Verde) Gluten-free diet day Liberation Day (Togo) Old New Year's Eve (Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Serbia, Montenegro, Republic of Srpska, North Macedonia), and its related observances: Malanka (Ukraine, Russia, Belarus) Sidereal winter solstice's eve celebrations in South and Southeast Asian cultures; the last day of the six-month Dakshinayana period (see January 14): Bhogi (Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu) Lohri (Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh) Uruka (Assam) Stephen Foster Memorial Day (United States) Yennayer (Berbers) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Calennig Korean American Day National Catherine Day National Kathleen Day National Peach Melba Day National Rubber Ducky Day National Shop For Travel Day National Sticker Day Poetry at Work Day Poetry Break Day Printing Ink Day Public Radio Broadcasting Day National French Bulldog Day Liam Hemsworth’s Birthday Lori Harvey’s Birthday Mike Majlak’s Birthday Nique Nique&King’s Birthday Orlando Bloom’s Birthday Patrick Dempsey’s Birthday Tre Brooks’s Birthday Tyler Henry’s Birthday Andrew Yang Julia Louis-Dreyfus ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tue Jan 13th, 2026 - Wed Jan 14th, 2026 Survakari Kolyady Fun Observances Make Your Dreams Come True Day January 13 is Make your Dreams Come True Day. If you have been procrastinating on fulfilling your dream, this is your chance to get things right. This unofficial holiday with unknown origins encourages people to be proactive about achieving what they want in life. Dreams That Inspire Dreams are a part of life. We all dream when we sleep, but most of us don't remember them the next day. No matter how big or small, there are some dreams that inspire us and allow us to make our lives better. It is these dreams that Make your Dreams Come True Day celebrates. Dreams that motivate us to do better, encourage us to take on more challenges, and energize us to succeed in our lives - professionally and personally. How to Celebrate? Get started on making your dream come true. Talk to someone who inspires you. Make an inspiration board with images and words relating to your dream. Write down your dream, make a project plan, and create deadlines for you to work towards. Did You Know… …that according to experts, most people on average have a dream every 90 minutes? *** On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. He suddenly grew indignant. “Why should I pay someone to shovel?” he demanded. “I can get my son to do it. He’s only 70!” *** The other day I got carded at the liquor store. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. The clerk shook his head, said, “Never mind,” and rang me up. *** One of the shortest wills ever written: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.” *** Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat. "What are you doing?" asked Fred. Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied "I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can't find it." Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. "But I've got to", said Sam, "my teeth are in it!" *** You can see the strangest things if you look hard enough. The other day I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. It was bread in captivity. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: INTREPID Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster INTREPID Synonyms: 142 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus

January 12th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Aelred of Rievaulx Benedict Biscop Bernard of Corleone Marguerite Bourgeoys Tatiana January 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Memorial Day (Turkmenistan) National Youth Day (India) Prosecutor General's Day (Russia) Zanzibar Revolution Day (Tanzania) Yennayer (Algeria) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Coming of Age Day Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day Kiss a Ginger Day National 4th Graders Day National Curried Chicken Day National Gluten-Free Day National Hot Tea Day National Kettlebell Day National Pharmacist Day Plough Monday Remembrance Day Stick to Your New Year's Resolution Day Work Harder Day Do Kyungsoo’s Birthday Howard Stern’s Birthday Issa Rae’s Birthday Jeff Bezos’s Birthday Rob Zombie’s Birthday Zayn Malik’s Birthday Raekwon Fun Observances (2) Marzipan Day Celebrate marzipan, the sweet, almond-based multi-purpose confectionary on January 12, Marzipan Day. Marzipan is one of those food items that evoke extreme reactions. Love it or hate it, it is one of the most well-known and widely used food item in kitchens and bakeries around the world. Decorating Cakes Made of almond meal and sugar, marzipan is usually used to decorate cakes. Its dough-like consistency makes it an ideal material to make novelty shapes and figures. Some historians believe that marzipan has Arabic roots, while others believe that the Chinese introduced it to the world. Either way, it has now become the mainstay of holiday and wedding celebrations in many parts of the world. How to Celebrate? Make your own marzipan and use it to make treats. If you can’t make your own marzipan, buy pre-made marzipan and shape it. Learn the different ways marzipan is used by people in different cultures. Did You Know... …that the wild varieties of almond are not fit for human consumption? This is because they contain a compound called glycoside amygdalin, which turns into hydrogen cyanide if the seed is crushed or injured. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Clean Off Your Desk Day To honor an uncluttered, organized and clean workspace, the second Monday of January is celebrated as the Clean Off Your Desk Day. This unofficial and clearly made-up holiday encourages people to have a clutter-free, clean, and organized workspace. Increase Productivity Productivity experts and scientists agree that a functional workspace is important for having a fulfilling and productive work life. Clean and organized work desks allow workers to focus and to organize and process information. In addition, research shows that those who work within cluttered spaces tend to get frustrated faster than those whose workspaces are organized and clean. How to Celebrate? Clean your desk, of course! Take a few hours to organize all the paperwork that has piled up over the last year and to purge your desk and workspace of things you have no use for anymore. Shred any paperwork with any sensitive or personal information, give away duplicate office supplies, and file away important documents. And while you are at it, organize your PC or laptop desktop as well. Did You Know... ...that the word desk comes from the old Latin word discus meaning platter or plate? *** I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, "In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out." *** I answered a 911 call at our emergency dispatch center from a woman who said her water broke. "Stay calm," I advised. "Now, how far apart are your contractions?" "No contractions," she said breathlessly. "But my basement is flooding fast." *** When my friend spotted a blind man and his guide dog at a crosswalk, she stopped her car and waved them on. "Uh, Cynthia," I said, "he can't see you." "I know that," she said indignantly. "I'm waving the dog on." *** Movie Quotes—The First Drafts The Godfather: "I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?" The Terminator: "I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m up?" Dirty Harry: "You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work …" Taxi Driver: "You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Sorry, it looked like you were talkin’ to me. My mistake." *** A doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss." The patient said, "Oh no, Doctor. What's the bad news?" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Eddie Munster (then) Eddie Munster(Butch Patrick) Then and now *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: DISCORDANT Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster DISCORDANT Synonyms: 219 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus

January 11th 2026 - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Children's Day (Tunisia) Christian feast day: Anastasius of Suppentonia (Roman Catholic) Leucius of Brindisi (Roman Catholic) Paulinus II of Aquileia Pope Hyginus Theodosius the Cenobiarch Thomas of Cori Vitalis of Gaza (Roman Catholic) January 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Eugenio María de Hostos Day (Puerto Rico) Independence Resistance Day (Morocco) Kagami biraki (Japan) National Human Trafficking Awareness Day (United States) Republic Day (Albania) Carmentalia (January 11th and January 15th) (Rome) Prithvi Jayanti (Nepal) Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details) Baptism of the Lord Birth anniversary of National Artist Atang de la Rama Cigarettes are Hazardous to Your Health Day Golden Globe Awards Heritage Treasures Day International Parity at Work Day International Thank-You Day Kosrae Constitution Day National Arkansas Day National Girl Hug Boy Day National Hot Toddy Day National Joel Day National Milk Day National Sunday Supper Day National Tara Day No Longer New Year's Day Paget’s Awareness Day Secret Pal Day Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day Unknown Citizens’ Day World Sketchnote Day Gold Heart Day Alexander Hamilton’s Birthday Alfonso Arau’s Birthday Emmie Alice’s Birthday Jania Bania’s Birthday Kyle Richards’s Birthday Mary J. Blige’s Birthday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sun Jan 11th, 2026 - Sat Jan 17th, 2026 Cuckoo Dancing Week Home Office Safety and Security Week National Mocktail Week National Pizza Week Universal Letter Writing Week Fun Observances Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day January 11 is celebrated annually as Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day. Morse code is a way to transmit text through a series of signals. Each character or alphabet in a language is represented by a sequence of dots and dashes. SOS First demonstrated on January 11, 1838 by Alfred Vail and Samuel Morse, Morse code soon became commonly used by the military and the aviation industry worldwide. Until 1999 the distress signal "SOS", or "··· – – – ···" in Morse code, was used to communicate distress by ships and naval vessels around the world. Although it does not stand for anything it has been remembered as "Save Our Souls" or "Save Our Ship". It was replaced by the Global Maritime Distress Safety System in 1999, but is still widely recognised as a distress signal today. How to Celebrate? Learn Morse code. Of course, learn how to spell out your name in Morse code. Don't have time to learn a whole new language? Spend some time on learning more about the role Morse code has played in society. Did You Know… …that the fastest Morse code transmission was achieved by Tarry Turner in 1942? He reached a speed of 35 words per minute. *** The speaker at my bank's drive-through window had been broken for weeks, and we tellers had to resort to miming or writing notes to communicate with our frustrated customers. One day a sweet elderly lady whom I would see every week pulled up to the window, leaned out of her car and smacked the glass in front of my face. "Hope this is bulletproof," she yelled. There had just been a robbery at another bank nearby, so I was touched by her concern. "It is," I yelled back. "Good," she continued, "because someone is going to shoot you if you don't get that speaker fixed." *** 1-800-WasteMyTime It was late in the afternoon, and I was putting the final burnishes on a piece of writing that I was feeling pretty good about. Yes, okay, it was an e-mail, but it was a clever one and I hated to lose it. My cursor had frozen. I tried to shut the computer down, and it seized up altogether. Unsure of what else to do, I yanked the battery out. Unfortunately, Windows had been in the midst of a delicate and crucial undertaking. The next morning, when I turned my computer back on, it informed me that a file had been corrupted and Windows would not load. This was followed by some mysterious lines of code, which I took to be my computer saying "Serves you right, careless pea brain" in its native tongue. More graciously, it offered to repair itself by using the Windows Setup CD. I opened the special drawer where I keep CDs that I have no intention of ever using. There was an IKEA how-to CD, which featured young Swedes assembling kitchen cabinets with nothing but a sardine can key and untrammeled wholesomeness. Mostly, there were CDs of music that my friends are always burning for me, unbidden, because they think I'll enjoy them. But no Windows CD. I was forced to call the computer company's Global Support Center. My call was answered by a woman in some unnamed, far-off land. I find it vexing to make small talk with someone when I don't know what continent they're standing on. Suppose I were to comment on the beautiful weather we've been having when there was a monsoon at the other end of the phone? So I got right to the point. "My computer is telling me a file is corrupted and it wants to fix itself, but I don't have the Windows Setup CD." "So you're having a problem with your Windows Setup CD." She had apparently been dozing and, having come to just as the sentence ended, was attempting to cover for her inattention. I recognized the technique from a thousand breakfast conversations. "We took that rug in weeks ago. Should I call the cleaners?" "No, thanks. I'm good." It quickly became clear that the woman was not a computer technician. Her job was to serve as a gatekeeper, a human shield for the techs, who were off in the back room, or possibly another far-off continent, playing cards and burning CDs for their friends. Her sole duty, as far as I could tell, was to raise global stress levels. To make me disappear, the woman gave me the phone number for Windows' creator, Microsoft. This is like giving someone the phone number for, I don't know, North America. Besides, the CD worked; I just didn't have it. No matter how many times I repeated my story, we came back to the same place. She was unflappable and resolutely polite. When my voice hit a certain decibel, I was passed along, like a hot, irritable potato, to a technician. "You don't have the Windows Setup CD, ma'am, because you don't need it," he explained cheerfully. "Windows came preinstalled on your computer!" "But I do need it." "Yes, but you don't have it." We went on like this for a while. Finally, he offered to walk me through the use of a different CD, one that would erase my entire system. "Of course, you'd lose all your e-mail, your documents, your photos." It was like offering to drop a safe on my head to cure my headache. "You might be able to recover them, but it would be expensive." He sounded delighted. "And it's not covered by the warranty!" The safe began to seem like a good idea, provided it was full. I hung up the phone and drove my computer to a small, friendly repair place I'd heard about. A smart, helpful man dug out a Windows CD and told me it wouldn't be a problem. An hour later, he called to let me know it was ready. I thanked him, and we chatted about the weather, which was the same outside my window as it was outside his. *** A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened." *** A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Just the facts: PERVASIVE Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster PERVASIVE Synonyms: 49 Similar and Opposite Words | Merriam-Webster Thesaurus