Thorn Wilde

Oh, I totally agree. And having many friends who are sex workers I also don't approve of usage of the word whore as a derogatory term. My characters say and do a lot of things I disagree with.

It is. Their relationship is very complicated.

It's a quiet neighbourhood. There's generally some sounds from the downstairs neighbours/landlords, they have two kids, but they're actually fairly quiet, and sound doesn't carry too badly here. Nowhere near bad enough to be bothersome. But my flatmate spends all day watching YouTube videos. She never does anything that's quiet unless she's sleeping, and she has ADHD so I get it, but it can be kind of exhausting, especially with her dog. Shih tzu. She's adorable and I love her, but I regret agreeing to my flatmate getting her cause she's 11 months old now and still can't be alone without barking, so when my flatmate goes to work I have the choice between hearing her bark in flatmate's room, or letting flatmate put her in my room with me. Either way it interrupts my sleep. Sorry, that was a rant. Those are amazing! I found the most fantastic ugly sweater today. Fa la la la llama!

I love watching movies by myself. When I'm in a good place, I love cooking myself a really nice meal and eating alone.I need a lot of me-time. Gaming and writing does that, too. And I require silence. Today I got my flatmate to wear a headset for most of the day and hang out on the futon in the corner so I could have the sofa by myself in peace and quiet to work on my exam. Didn't get as much done as I should have, but gods was it nice to have the place be quiet.

Always wanted to try spaghetti squash, but never seen it over here.

I spend my energy on my performances, and then I'm a shut-in the rest of the time. Performing isn't really social, though. It's me on a stage doing a thing I love and talking crap between songs. Interacting with people after can be a bit exhausting but it works. Wine helps. Also, when I'm hypomanic, I become an oversharing chatterbox. I was hypomanic when I was in a bipolar educational therapy group (like, learn how to live with bipolar disorder). I told the group, 'Yeah, I'm a real introvert.' And they all looked at me like I was crazy. I guess my introvertedness doesn't mean I'm not occasionally social. It's just that I need time to recharge afterwards.

Social anxiety sucks. I've struggled with it too, especially in depressive episodes (I'm bipolar). I'm generally introvert, as well.

Obviously, my opinion is just that, an opinion. I appreciate you sharing yours, and your experiences. Thank you!

Well, the Sonnets were only published a few years before he died, for one. Though Britain had sodomy laws, simply expressing love for another man would not necessarily have raised any suspicion, because love and sexuality were not necessarily seen as connected at the time. That doesn't mean Shakespeare wasn't queer, it just means that the world didn't 'get it'. Sodomy was punishable by death, and attempted sodomy (what does that even mean, just the tip?) gave you two years in jail. Sodomy was defined as anal sex and zoophilia. It's possible at the time that if neither of these were proven to have taken place, it didn't 'count'. As for homoeroticism in his plays, it may seem obvious today, but back then it might not have. And his plays are full of lewd jokes; plays were for the common man. Elizabethan England was generally not as uptight about sex as we imagine. Within the theatre, where they were all men (women weren't allowed to be actors, after all), homosexual relations would have been an open secret. Up until the abolishment of sodomy laws, the theatre remained a freer place. Things went on, and one simply didn't talk about it.

Thanks. Will read. A lot of long dead artists get their sexuality erased. Most people don't realise that William Shakespeare was bi, for instance. The first 126 (I think) of his sonnets were written for a man. Scholars are all, nooo, it's just platonic admiration! Right. Sonnet #20: A woman's face with Nature's own hand painted Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion ; A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted With shifting change, as is false women's fashion ; An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling, Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth ; A man in hue, all 'hues' in his controlling Which steals men's eyes and women's souls amazeth. And for a woman wert thou first created ; Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting, And by addition me of thee defeated, By adding one thing to my purpose nothing. But since she prick'd thee out for women's pleasure, Mine be thy love, and thy love's use their treasure. Number 26 is also fairly obvious. Lord of my love, etc. And there's so much homoeroticism in many of his plays. And there are so many others. As for the historical figures whose sexualities can't simply be erased, they're instead made out to be these amoral, debauched lunatics, basically. It's so sad.

I have a spiraliser, too. Got it primarily because my girlfriend was on a keto diet and I figured we could have some nice meals that way. Then we broke up. Go figure. Still, I use it occasionally.

Truth. It really is. And some of it by members of the community itself. A transgender sex worker of colour threw the first brick at Stonewall. Way too many people don't know that. Stonewall's been pink washed to fit in with a narrative that cis-het people will feel comfortable with.

You're right, of course. I have read the story, and it is much better than the film.

Yum! And tea is obviously necessary. ...I didn't have tea this morning! That's why I feel so tired! Be right back, must make tea.

Right? And, that's kind of my point. Brokeback Mountain was made by and for straight people. It's not an LGBTQ movie, and it doesn't belong on such a list. Have a lot of movies like it brought attention to how poorly the LGBTQ community has been treated? Absolutely. But that doesn't in and of itself make them good queer films. A whole bunch of good queer films made by queer people feature homophobia, and in a lot more relevant contexts, too. That doesn't make them tragedies. You can have realism without super sad endings. To some, Brokeback Mountain will give them the impression that this is how things used to be. But the fact is it's still like that for so many, and people don't realise that.

Oooh, looks yummy! Aww, that sucks.

My mum's a teacher. It's awful how much work she has to bring home with her that she doesn't even get paid for. At least she gets a good wage now, having worked in the same school for 22 years, but it was tight when I was a kid and she was a single mother trying to make sure I was fed and clothed while my dad resisted paying child support.

Jealous! I had just cereal for breakfast. Sigh.

Also the name of a Norwegian black metal band. 🤘

It's true. My Instagram is ridiculous. I like it. And you should definitely make muffins. Yum! Good morning, molly! My morning (early afternoon now) is going fairly well, though I'm not working anywhere near as hard on my exam as I should be.

You know what I mean, silly.

Note: I'm frustrated. I swear. Deal with it. I was browsing YouTube yesterday when I came across a 10 Best LGBTQ Movies video. As I always do, I clicked on it, cause I'm always up for potentially finding new movies to watch. There were some good ones on the list, such as Call Me By Your Name, Milk, and Weekend for instance, and I found a couple I hadn't seen, either. But when they got down to #3, they lost me, because according to them the third best LGBTQ film in history is Brokeback Mountain. I was 17 when Brokeback Mountain came out. I saw it in the cinema, and I cried, and I thought it was wonderful. Because I was a 17-year-old at the time girl who hadn't really been exposed to a lot of queer cinema. I bought it on DVD when it came out, and watched it again. Then a few years passed, I became more experienced, watched other LGBTQ movies, and realised that Brokeback Mountain is, quite frankly, shit. All of my IRL queer friends agree with me. Not most, all. The film tends to be conspicuously absent when queer people make lists of greatest LGBTQ films. I feel like Brokeback Mountain caters to a straight audience that wants to feel liberal and accepting by watching gay characters on screen, but who ultimately feel more comfortable if it ends in tragedy. The story it's based on was written by a straight woman (not that there's anything wrong with straight people writing LGBTQ stories, and we have many, many straight authors on the site here who write absolutely wonderful gay fiction). Brokeback Mountain has served a purpose, of course. It has made gay stories more palatable to straight audiences, which is a good thing. The acting performances are marvellous, too. But it also demonstrated that the only way for an LGBTQ movie to win an Academy Award is if literally no one involved in its making is visibly queer. I'm not of the opinion that straight people can't play gay characters (they definitely can) or even that cis people can't play trans characters (they can, though they have a responsibility to to do well that few manage to fulfil). But nobody even remotely queer has their name on that movie. Author of original short story, straight. Writers, straight. Producers, straight. Ang Lee, totally straight. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal? Ding ding ding! Straight! As of last year, the only gay man to win an Academy Award playing a gay character, is Ian McKellen. And that was twenty fucking years ago. Meanwhile, if a cis-het actor plays a queer character in an even remotely successful film, they're guaranteed a nomination, if not a win. No trans actor has ever won an Oscar. No lesbian playing a lesbian has ever won an Oscar. Another movie that straight people keep harping on about is Blue is the Warmest Colour, which is objectively shit. After the third lengthy porn inspired male gaze centred sex scene, I switched that motherfucker off. Bohemian Rhapsody is being lauded by straight critics, while LGBTQ audiences are disappointed at the misrepresentation of Freddie Mercury's sexuality and the way everything goes to shit when he tries to live out his queer identity (which is a factually incorrect assessment of Freddie's queerness), while embracing his straight friends and staying out of 'that world' makes everything better (also factually incorrect). While not in and of itself a bad film, as a queer film it falls short, and a movie about Freddy Mercury ought to be a queer film. He's one of the most famous queer people in history. We've got Elton John, William Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Alexander the Great, and Freddie Mercury. (Notice how there are no queer women on that list? Sigh...) There is a lot of great queer cinema. We've had long, extensive threads on the subject in The Lounge, where people have shared their top picks of literally hundreds of wonderful films, many of which actually have happy endings for once. Straight audiences can't handle a queer movie with a happy ending. It has to be sad, or it has to be heteronormative, and that's what we get. Things are improving a little, sure. Love, Simon is a notable exception in being a well loved queer teen movie with a sweet and happy ending where no one kills themselves. How lovely! Of course, Love, Simon didn't even earn an honourable mention in the video I watched. Weekend took second place, which redeemed the list somewhat. Carol came in first. Which is fine, it's a great movie, and doesn't end in tragedy. But fucking Brokeback Mountain ought to die a fiery death and be buried in an avalanche of awesome queer cinema. EDIT: Just to clarify: I'm not saying that Brokeback Mountain is objectively a bad movie, nor am I saying that the short story it's based on isn't good. What I am saying is that it's not an LGBTQ movie, it's made by straight people for straight people, and as such I don't think it belongs on lists of good queer movies. It's a bad queer film, that doesn't necessarily make it a bad film, period.

Morning, everyone! Today is non-creative writing day. Ugh. Hey, I can't move furniture alone, and I'm 30. But yay, Christmas tree! ❤️ Pics or it didn't happen.

I've stayed up way too late again. It's 5 am. Time to sleep for me. Good night, everyone! ❤️

My Christmas playlist has exactly zero conventional Christmas songs on it.