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Comicality

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  1. Comicality
    Wednesday - Today was..... Hmmm...I don't quite know how to explain it. Better than yesterday? No...well....yeah, maybe Just by a little bit. I just don't know what I'm thinking any more. Maybe I'll figure it out as I'm writing this down. Because it seems as if every time I get rid of one problem, another one pops up. But...but what if it's not really a problem? What if it's just...well, I mean, what if... Ok, this isn't getting me anywhere. Let me start over. I pretty much sta
  2. Comicality
    Tuesday - Okay, so things are SERIOUSLY pissing me off today!!! If I could punch a hole straight through the center of the Earth and blow the whole fucking WORLD up right now, I would!!! And my dad pretty much screwed it up worse than anybody! You should have heard what he said to me? Like...I need to clean up may act or something! Like...like I need to do something with my life! What the hell does *THAT* mean??? Oh, so my life is soooooooo fucking 'lackluster' right? I mean, I'm no
  3. Comicality
    Monday - This has been....kind of a fucked up day! I don't know whether if I'm just...being paranoid...or what. But it's bugging me, and I don't imagine that life could get much worse. Where do I even....BEGIN...? Well, I guess I could start off by saying that I have now been reduced to some kind of weirdo, bashfully 'spying' on Brandon in the hallways like a frightened butterfly. It's like...I'm terrified to talk to him now! I mean...it's just too much, you know? It hurts to h
  4. Comicality
    Sunday - I had to literally take TWO naps after the labor I was put through today! I swear...my mom is totally taking advantage of this punishment situation! I mean, Jesus, we're gonna have a fucking MTV crib when I'm through cleaning and polishing everything up! My God...at least the Karate Kid got to learn a martial art from it all! All I'm learning how to do is sleep more than twice a day and how to appropriately apply sore muscle ointment after my third shower of the day. So...t
  5. Comicality
    Saturday - Fuck! This has been a day right out of a fucking comic book! I have literally been stripped down to shorts and no shirts and subjected to teen slave labor, thanks to the details of my 'punishment'. And when added to the fact that my mom was just looking for a reason to teach me a lesson for having a party while she was out of town, and the fact that the phone call from my dad fired her up even more...I'm, like, TRIPLE fucked! That's so not cool. Especially when I'm already hur
  6. Comicality
    Friday - You know what's worse than having to waste an entire day in school doing practically nothing? Having to stay there even LONGER in some stuffy detention hall. That's what. I think that this is gonna be the longest week in history. The only thing that makes it even bearable is the fact that Trace is there, sketching some graffiti in his notebook, and occasionally looking up to make faces at me. It didn't save me from detention, but it was entertaining enough to keep me from wantin
  7. Comicality
    Thursday - DAMMITT!!! Ok....alright...I shouldn't have done it! I am TOTALLY shocked and embarrassed that I did it, but I just couldn't help myself, alright? Look...today, I just woke up in a REALLY fucked up mood! I mean, I was still hurting, it had been DAYS since Brandon told me to get lost, and I was just NOT in the mood for any bullshit today! NONE! So...um...when I got to gym class today I kinda 'jumped on' Bobby Jinette. I DIDN'T MEAN TO, OK? It just sorta 'happened'!
  8. Comicality
    Wednesday - I feel like I'm seriously losing it, you know? I'm trying to just....get up, go to school, get through my day, and come home again, without everything falling apart on me. But...this feeling in my heart just keeps getting fucking...WORSE with every breath I take! Every day that I'm apart from him is like another day without food and water...and the hunger pains are getting to the point where I almost can't bear them any more. I'm SORRY, Brandon! I'm soooooooooo sorr
  9. Comicality
    Tuesday - I honestly wondered if I should even write anything down in my journal today. Nothing changed. Nothing that matters, anyway. So much of my life feels so 'numb' right now that it's hard to even pick out any daily details worth writing about. But, as I was just sitting here at my desk with nothing better to do than squirm and ache over losing the most important thing in my whole fucking life...I guess I'll give it a shot. I wish I could say that the pain wasn't getting worse
  10. Comicality
    Monday - Yay. Wow. Whoopee. Whatever. You know, despite all the sudden 'hype' surrounding me today, I think I was officially the most depressed 'popular kid' in the whole damn school. Honestly. After my party this past weekend, it seems like every single person in this school looks at me differently. Better, actually. I mean, I had people inviting me to eat lunch with them, or asking me to hang out. People who NEVER talked to me a day in their LIVES...suddenly knew me by name and wa
  11. Comicality
    Here you will find the very private diary of Billy Chase. Occasionally updated as he lives his life as a closeted teenage boy. This is his life, feel free to peek in from time to time.
  12. Comicality
    Sunday - You know.... Sometimes you do things in your life...and you think that you're going to be ok, because it's meant to be harmless. It's not done with any kind of evil thoughts or bad intentions...it's just a stupid moment of selfishness where you ask yourself 'why not?' and can't come up with a convincing enough answer. Well...that's pretty much how my day went today. Finding out just how hurtful those stupid little moments can be when you're forced to answer for them later o
  13. Comicality
    Saturday - This morning...this glorious morning...started off just the way I wanted it to. No...actually, it was BETTER! When I woke up, I had almost kinda forgotten that Brandon was laying in the bed next to me. I remember just feeling the weight on the mattress next to me before opening my eyes, and smiling to myself at the overwhelming feeling of love and comfort that it brought me. It was like my whole heart puffed up and my body was given a whole new life of its own. I opened my eye
  14. Comicality
    Friday - Shhh....omigod...I TOTALLY can't believe this is happening right now! I'm in the kitchen right now, it's like 3 o'clock in the morning...and my BOYFRIEND is sleeping completely NAKED in my bed right now! Like...COMPLETELY naked! It is really hard not to SCREAM right now! But I've gotta be quiet right now. Otherwise I'll have to write this tomorrow. Brandon still hasn't seen this diary yet, and I don't think I'm even close to being able to show it to him yet. I don't know, m
  15. Comicality
    Thursday - Ok, so I already don't like where this is going! But no matter what I said, it was like I couldn't STOP it once it got started! The word spread like cancer, and the more I tried to push it back, the faster it traveled. Dammit, Lee... The FIRST thing I heard from Sam when I saw him and Joanna at school today was, "So, dude...I hear you're throwing some kinda party this weekend? What's that about? You don't throw parties." I'm thinking....what the hell? I'm like, "Part
  16. Comicality
    Wednesday - This is CRAZY! Totally crazy! Ok, so I just got off the phone with Lee, right? I mean, he just HAD to call me when I told him....wait, let me start over So, you remember when I said that I had a relative that passed away? Well, I guess my mom is kinda obligated to be there with the family for the funeral this weekend. Which really bummed me out the second I heard the words leave her mouth, because I could totally envision her dragging me with her. Great, just what I need
  17. Comicality
    Tuesday - Have you ever had one of those long lost relatives in your family that you only remember vaguely for a moment or two...and then forget about the second they're out of your sight? One of those family members that you only need to know on two occasions...when you know they're coming to the family reunion...and when they up and die on you. Well, one of them up and died on me this morning. My mom says that I should remember him, but I really can't recall anything at all. I mean, do
  18. Comicality
    Monday - FUCK!!! I left my homework at home!!! It was just a MISTAKE! I swear to God! I was working on it last night on my desk...and I left it inside my textbook. It was sitting RIGHT there on my desk, and while I was eating breakfast, I forgot to put it in my backpack! So I went to school without, and naturally my teacher didn't even believe that I even did it. Gave me the same fucking dirty look that I was expecting to get from her! Avoiding that fucking dirty ass look was the only re
  19. Comicality
    Sunday - So, my mom gave me another caring 'talking to' again today. Don't worry, it wasn't anything unique, or different, or remotely original. She basically patted the space next to her on the couch when I went into the kitchen to grab some pop tarts for breakfast. So I groaned and rolled my eyes, and sat down next to her...while she threw that awkward arm over my shoulder to, like, 'hold' me, or whatever. You know...it's cool for your parents to cuddle you when you're, like, SEVEN. But whe
  20. Comicality
    Saturday - Sighhhhh....today was everything I had hoped that it would be. And MORE. Even though it started off 'horribly'...Brandon made it infinitely better. He always makes things better. Basically, this morning was a total disaster. And it all started with a phone call. My dad evidently had some grand idea that he and I would spend some time together this weekend, and he wanted to come by and pick me up to take me out. I picked up the phone right after my mom did, and I was going t
  21. Comicality
    Friday - Omigod, I had a close call today!!! Jesus, I've REALLY gotta be more careful! See...I had completely forgotten about talking to Simon about coming over today after school to hang out. So when he asked me during class today, I figured, what the hell? You know? It would be cool to have him over again. It's been a while. And it won't be some mentally exhausting tutoring session like last time either. So I was kinda looking forward to it. Well, he came over, and we just kinda slippe
  22. Comicality
    Thursday - I'm so stuck right now. I'm totally wicked. I'm totally EVIL! I actually went to school for two class periods this morning...and then, I snuck out and took the bus to Bobby Jinette's house. And you can pretty much 'guess' what happened once I got there. I don't even know how many times we had sex today. I kinda stopped counting after the fourth explosion. I was there for like seven HOURS, and I didn't wear a lick of clothing the whole time! We even had to make a froz
  23. Comicality
    Wednesday - Well...tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow is the day that I practically sell my body and soul to Bobby Jinette. All for a chance to spend some quiet time with my boyfriend. Should I be 100% honest here, or should I not write this down? Shit...what the hell, right? I want to be scared. I want to feel guilty and stupid and confused. I want this to eat away at me so badly that I can't even SLEEP when I think about it! Because if it felt THAT bad inside, I'd develop some kind
  24. Comicality
    Tuesday - Ok...I think I've honestly had enough of this fussy BULLSHIT!!! I'm serious! My dad called the house tonight, just after dinner, and I picked up the phone. At first I really thought that this was going to be about me ditching class, but he didn't even mention it. Which should have made me feel better, but ended up only making me more paranoid about it in the end. Anyway, he was actually being somewhat 'nice' to me, which was a change. But my mom overheard me talking, and figured out
  25. Comicality
    Monday - Hehehe...I'm so damn 'bad' sometimes! Ok, I am being really goofy right now, but I was kinda chatting with Lee online a few minutes ago, and we just got into some 'weirdness' out of the blue. It was fun though. Anyway, he had a great time at Jamie's party and all, and we talked about maybe throwing a party of our own some time. Which I must admit, would be a really COOL idea! How awesome would that be, inviting Jamie Cross to a party that *I* was throwing, and having him in
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