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Comicality

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  1. Comicality
    Sunday - OMIGOD!!! I had the FREAKIEST dream EVER last night! Holy shit, what the hell did I eat before bed to bring THAT up? Because I want some more! It was a combination of hearing about Sam's little adventure on the back porch with Joey (Ugh! I really HATE that he calls her that! I don't know why, it's just...yuck! There's something just 'sweet' about it. I mean, he never made a little pet name for ME. Well...whatever..), and talking to Lee online last night. I think that was just to
  2. Comicality
    Saturday - I woke up today feeling sooooo good! Just lingering vibes from last night's party, I guess. I never thought that I'd be the kinda guy that would be going to parties like this on the weekends. I don't drink, I certainly don't smoke, and it's not like I've got a dozen girlfriends or play any sports. So I always kinda thought of myself as...'just popular enough to keep from being depressed'. But it's like, all of a sudden, people that I never thought would ever want to talk to me are
  3. Comicality
    Friday - HAHAHA!!! Omigod!!! I'm still out of breath, but I made it home! Tonight was AWESOME!!! TOTALLY AWESOME!!! Dude...I've got so much to report! I hardly know where to start! Ok....um...well let me get the 'fucked up' news out of the way first! Then I'll tell ya what happened at Jamie's party! Shit, I can hardly believe that I escaped! Ok, Bobby Jinette...he's just not playing fair anymore. What I was honestly treating as a bit of human kindness, or at least a fair trade of on
  4. Comicality
    Thursday - Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.................. If I could only put into words the feeling I have wrapped around my heart at this very moment...I doubt I'd have enough ink and paper to write it all down. I don't think I've ever floated so high before. I don't think I've ever been so in love. How the hell did I ever make it to age 14 without this feeling aching in my stomach all day long? It baffles me. We did it. Me and Brandon....we got some time to be alone. Some REAL time alone! Non
  5. Comicality
    Wednesday - You wanna know something? I don't think I'm gonna be able to look at Sam's big STUPID grinning face anymore without getting pissed in one way or another. It BUGS me, ok? It just plain fucking bugs me! I saw Sam in the hall by himself earlier, waiting for 'Joey' as always, and he was practically dancing around on his tip toes in anticipation of her arrival. When he saw me he was being just plain 'goofy', and I hated it. He giggles for no reason, he sighs a lot, and for the love of
  6. Comicality
    Tuesday - Busy day today, so I've got a LOT to go through. Most of it....um....kinda bad. It's hard to even know where to begin. Ummm...ok, let's start off with the bitch that I DIDN'T go see today! Since this deceitful whore decided to take over my math class, I just decided not to go. Don't know what I missed, don't really care. I got this girl Christie to tell me whether or not our regular teacher was back yet. And until she tells me that bitch is gone, I'm simply not a part of that c
  7. Comicality
    Monday - What the FUCK?!?!?! Ok, I just HAVE to write this down before I fucking EXPLODE!!! I can't even hold this back right now! I'll just get this out, and then try to get on with explaining the rest of my day without putting my fist through a wall! I went to my math class this morning, and was happily informed that our teacher was out with the flu. Which is great, because I never finished that homework from Thursday. And since substitutes pretty much come in without a clue as to
  8. Comicality
    Sunday - You know....I can still taste him. I can still taste Bobby Jinette on the surface of my tongue. I can still smell his scent on my upper lip. I can still feel the tingle in the tip of my dick just thinking about him. From the second I woke up this morning, I thought about what it would be like to just....roll over in bed and be able to French kiss Bobby without even putting any kind of thought into it. I won't lie...the thought actually crossed my mind that it might actually be 'cool'
  9. Comicality
    Friday - Ok, I think I totally lost my concept of reality today. I mean, to say that I was confused would be an understatement. It's not so much that life 'sucks'...or that it's...you know...good. It's just...I feel like I suddenly gotten myself stuck in some kind of emotional limbo, and no matter which way I go, there's a trap waiting for me. It's hard to explain, but it's kinda weird to spend your whole day feeling like someone is about to shake up everything and send it spilling out onto t
  10. Comicality
    Thursday - Ok.....I'm in a really difficult place right now, and I don't know exactly how to find my way out of it. Well...I guess I should know the right answer without even thinking about it...but.... How do I even begin to explain this? Well, you know how you really REALLY love somebody, and you wanna be close to them, but you just can't be? And somehow, your mood switches over to a point where you see them and instead of it giving you that really gooey feeling in the middle of your s
  11. Comicality
    Wednesday - I believe the technical term for it is 'stress'. That strange feeling of tightness you get inside when your mind is full of potential problems, but you're trying to force yourself to grin and bear it for the sake of people who probably wouldn't understand your problems to begin with. It's that 'deer in headlights' moment when you see the truck coming, but no matter how loud your brain is screaming at you to move out of the way...your body hasn't gotten the message to respond yet.
  12. Comicality
    Tuesday - I did something today that.......just..... I mean....it was just.... Ok, maybe finding the right words for it is gonna be harder than I thought it would be. But I've been spacing out over it since the words left my mouth. And I've been kinda aying here on my bed for almost an hour now, just kinda...I dunno....basking in it, I guess. It's such an odd feeling. Like, I don't really know what to do with it at all. This is all so brand new to me. I didn't think it would be, bec
  13. Comicality
    Monday - Today was weird. And I guess...it kinda leaves me in the middle of being happy and being...um...I dunno...not as happy. It's hard to explain. First off... All damn day, I've been running into Bobby Jinette! And he is constantly giving me this knowing smile! You know...like...."I know you remember what we did this weekend!" You know? It's like he was TEASING me with it! Like...like...he just KNEW that I was gonna wanna do it again! But I'm NOT! I'm not even thinking about it
  14. Comicality
    Sunday - They keep settling in more and more every minute of the day, you know? Good feelings...bad feelings...I can barely tell them apart anymore. I think I probably wasted 90% of my day, string off into space and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with the Bobby Jinette situation. I couldn't believe some of the things that I was entertaining concerning him and Brandon. Maybe it's selfish....oh what am I talking about, of COURSE it's selfish...but my mind kept trying to wo
  15. Comicality
    Saturday - God? Forgive me, okay? I MEAN it...really. I just...it was all for a good reason. I promise. Andnow...things can be more...'cool'. That counts for something, right? Okay, let me just go head and say it...I had sex with Bobby Jinette again today. And I'm trying really *REALLY* hard to feel bad about it....but.... Ok, LISTEN!!! It's NOT like I don't feel guilty about it! Ok? I feel fucking guilty as HELL about doing this behind Brandon's back! AGAIN! I just....I was tr
  16. Comicality
    Saturday - NOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO??? How could I have possibly made things worse than they already were? God, I wanna cry my fucking EYES out, but I don't think I even deserve that much. I'm total scum. I'm WORSE than scum! And even though I'm scared to deal with any of this...even though I should TOTALLY burn for it...I kinda want...more. I can't help it....I want more. :( Look...it all started like this. Brandon called earlier this morning, and I was still
  17. Comicality
    Friday - Well, usually I'm practically 'skipping' out of school on Friday afternoon, because I'm so happy to have the weekend to look forward to. I don't know if there's much to rejoice in this time around. Gee...where do I even start? How about this? Short and sweet....I made plans to tell Bobby the truth about me and Brandon. Well...the truth about me and 'someone else', anyway. I've actually committed myself to the confession now, so there's no squirming out of it now. I'm k
  18. Comicality
    Tuesday - I wish there was a name for that weird feeling you get in your stomach when you're really anxious to see how something is gonna turn out...but you're kind of expecting it to be bad. I had that feeling in my gut a few times today. It's just hard to put it into words, I suppose. My mom made me breakfast this morning, but went to go back into her room right after she set it on the table. I'm trying really hard not to take this kinda thing personally, but it's hard to do when she's
  19. Comicality
    Wednesday - Ever since my mom and I had that....um....'thing'....that...moment yesterday....she's been kinda avoiding me. I mean...did I do something wrong? I was trying to.....COMFORT her, you know? But now she's like...embarrassed, or something. I think that maybe I fucked up somewhere. Maybe I hugged her wrong or something. I don't know. Geez, I can't even do that right. I hope she gives me the benefit of the doubt and realizes that I'm kind new at this sorta thing. Awww dude...I
  20. Comicality
    Tuesday - Ok...today was a total meltdown. I don't know what it is, but it seems like God has these vicious moodswings every now and then. It's like he picks THIS particular day to totally hate you, and just make life miserable in every possible way. But then again, who knows? Maybe I deserve it. Maybe this has been coming for a while now. I had a bit of a 'surprise' today that I wasn't really expecting. It kinda blindsided me, because it literally came out of nowhere. I was at my l
  21. Comicality
    Monday - DUDE! I have no idea what happened this past weekend at Jamie's party, but when I went back to school today, it was like EVERYBODY knew me! I mean, upperclassmen were pointing and winking and saying hello to me all day! People I didn't even know! Omigod...what did I do? I'm not sure what I did to suddenly get so popular, but people evidently noticed me much more than usual. Was it the mere association with Jamie Cross that gave me this shining halo of greatness? Who knows? But I
  22. Comicality
    Sunday - Have you ever had one of those weird days where you feel like you've just...I don't know...stepped into a whole other level of your life? Like...things from there are going to seriously change from that moment on, and you'll never be able to get back to square one ever again? It's hard to explain. It's just a feeling I got today. No particular reason. It kinda started when I called Sam today. It took him a while to answer the phone, and I almost half expected him not to be
  23. Comicality
    Saturday - Wow. You know what? Today was like...perfect. Well...almost perfect, but it was close enough for it to count. At least in my book. I say almost perfect because...well...mostly because I still have this leftover ache in my gut over what happened last night at the party. I mean, I was seriously hoping that I'd just go to sleep and wake up this morning having forgotten all about it. But to be totally honest, it was the first thing that crossed my mind this morning, even before I
  24. Comicality
    Friday - You know...despite the awesome time I had tonight...I have this really sad and sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just can't seem to get rid of. It's like...more than heartbreak, you know? It's like...this stupid feeling that I've been a completely moron for most of my life...and dammit, it just hurts. That's all. I wish it would go away. It's not like it's doing me any good. It sure as hell shouldn't be doing me any harm. I just....sighhh...whatever. Anyway, before
  25. Comicality
    Thursday - I'm a little bit confused about something, but I'm sort of afraid to think about it too hard. Mostly because I guess I should just take my blessing and run with it before I wind up jinxing myself and making things worse than I ever imagined they could be. I couldn't forget the way Bobby Jinette looked at me yesterday when he saw me and Brandon together. It was such a...'mysterious' emotion to try to read on looks alone. It was this subtle shift in his attitude that concealed i
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