Comicality

Hehehe, very true! A good thing indeed! Maybe I've just got a bad case of the 'cuddles'! (I'm being weird, aren't I?) Anyways, we've got a week long celebration for the big "V", from Saturday to Saturday! So I'll make it a fun one.

I truly think that constructive criticism is always a good thing, but I do tend to listen to my writing peers and my readers more than I would someone who has mastered the formula of using art to make money. There's nothing wrong with it, because it's their JOB to make money. That's their purpose, that's their focus, that's what they're good at. But if I actually 'worked' for someone with that mindset, it's always been my experience that they simply won't olerate someone trying to do something new and original. A self challenge or an attempt to do something different is discouraged as a 'risk'. Nobody wants to lose money. And to them, it's always, "Keep it simple, keep it plain, follow the same formula as everyone else so we can get our investment back. If you wanna do something new...wait until somebody else does it first. And IF it works, then we'll let you copy it." I guarantee, if it was for publishing sake, things like "Skylight", "Billy Chase", and a bunch of other stories I took a chance on would have been rejected. Hell, the first year that "GFD" was out, I got a lot of emails from people who said that sci fi wasn't their thing and probably wouldn't read it. It took a while for it to catch on, but it was a little new, a little different, and eventually it worked. So I think sometimes it's good to follow your gut feelings as an artist, and commerce doesn't always have the patience or the courage to do that. They could read the "I Have A Dream" speech and go..."There should be a comma here instead of a period." And miss the WHOLE point. But then again, that's just been my experience. I don't think I've ever found a 'bunsiness minded' person who has the ability to NOT meddle in the creative process or try to worm they way in to having creative control. As for feedback from my readers and other writers, I trust that most. And I love it, both good and bad. I always listen, even if I don't change anything. (It seems weird, but sometimes I actually have an idea of exactly how I want things to go. Hehehe! So I stick to the master plan as much as possible.) And I always go back to look and see where I made mistakes and where I can make things better. However, I have run into some folks who mean well, and have a lot of great ideas, but obviously want me to write THEIR story for them. I think anyone with a great idea should try writing it out and making their own, but I can't write it for them. It defeats the purpose of it being 'their' story. Hehehe, like, don't tweak and change MY story to suit YOUR personal taste...I already HAVE a game plan! Just enjoy it and be surprised with how it turns out instead of trying to control and force it down a certain road. I actually love seeing an author use their own thoughts and methods of telling a story. I don't wanna tell them how to write what *I* want to see, because I could just go and write that story myself if I wanted it to go my way. But either way, I'm always happy to listen to feedback, no matter what. It's all a part of learning to get better.

A HA!!! Ok, so I'm not totally crazy then! Ps- Does that say Fag Hag Approved? ::Giggles:: Awesome!

Really? Wow...I think I ma have been spelling that wrong since junior high! Yikes!

Don't know why! I'm all lovey dovey and weird for some reason. But it's a good thing! ::Giggles:: Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know that I've got a nice little "Valentine's Day" treat waiting for ya next weekend! So I hope you'll be around for the celebration! Got a few 'surprises' coming in the near future too. ::Nods:: ((Big Ol Mushy Cuddles And Kisses)) Hehehe, TOLD ya I was feeling weird!

Now, I'm thinking that this might be able to go either way, but I'm not exactly sure as to why though. When spelling the word....is it.... 'Judgment' or 'Judgement'? Is there an 'E', or isn't there? Because my spell check always catches it and tells me to take the 'E' out, but I could have SWORN that it was spelled with an 'E'! Do I have this backwards? Or is it one of those words that can flip flop in spellings depending on where you are? Anybody have a ruling on this?

" 'Oh, look, xxx published my short story. The cover is beautiful'? No." Hahaha! You know...I honestly don't think that I would get along with a publishing company at all. I just sorta...write what I write, mistakes and all. But I think I would be extremely frustrated with a company of other people trying to 'guide' me on how to do what I was already doing YEARS before it caught their attention. It's kinda like telling Picasso, "Nice painting....ut you know...that eye is just a little bit off. Fix it, or we're not releasing your painting to the public." That would bug me beyond BELIEF! Add this, take that out, make it shorter, fix up this dialogue, change the ages, don't use italics, cut back on the swearing, too cliche, target this market or that market....ARRRRGGGHHHH!!! As much as I would love to be cut out for the more professional side of writing, I think I would seriously hate every minute of it. Whatever I feel just 'comes out'....and once it's out, I'm like 'leave it alone'. If *I* wanna change something, I'll change it, but God forbid somebody else tries to tweak it for me. I'd be completely raving mad by the end of the first chapter.

::Giggles:: You 'DID'! In fact, I answered yours first. It's under the 'just a question' post. You didn't go back to check? Shame on you!

I know what thats like! Hehehe, I've been trying to get certain characters to follow my 'game plan', and the little brats basically tell me, "No, I'm not doing that. Find another way." But I trust 'em. I don't know if it's still in the archives of the "Library" on my site, but I posted nine or ten different unfinished stories that were years old but were never shown to anybody before. I'll leave a link if they're still there. The peace of mind comes from the release of getting my thoughts out and giving them some kind of purpose. It's like....you know when you get in an argument with someone at school or at work, and even after it's over, you're still having that angry inner conversation with yourself that won't go away? You're thinking of all the good points you should have made and all the angry things you should have said at the time, and the conversation spins around and around endlessly until you get it out of your system? For me, I'm doing the same thing, but I'm typing it out on a keyboard. It puts all of my feelings and inner conflicts out there for me to deal with, and all of the little things that happen to me during an average day work their way into a story eventually. That's a big reason why I don't just work on one story at a time. If I'm feeling good and had an awesome day, it's hard for me to try to write something really sad and blue. And if I'm frustrated or angry about something, it's even harder to write something playful and happy. So instead of being distracted, I take that anger and por that energy into something like "GFD" or "MOE" where it can really connect with the story, and relieve my mind at the same time. And when I see a cute guy and spend the day talking and laughing with him, I might come home and add to "Kiss Of An Angel" while that bubbly infatuation is still in me, pumping out all that sugary sweetness. Hehehe! It's not something I can really 'force'. I've tried, and the result is always terrible. So yeah, the peace of mind is needed, and that's why I write for me and at my own pace. But posting is a whole other terrifying experience.

I really loved the responses we got to the 'anti-gay pill' question we had before. So I figured that, since we had everybody putting in their two cents, I might bring over some more questions that we've talked about in the past. I really love the amount of wisdom and variety of opinions that come with questions like this. So feel free to comment whenever you like. Cool? There are no wrong answers, just say what you feel. Let me ask you guys something. If you live in a major metropolitan city, I'm going to assume that there is a 'gay section' of town where you can go and be yourselves. (Not always, but in a lot of places there is) Do you think that having a separat 'gay' section is a good thing? If there was a gay district, gay schools, gay societies in general....would it help the gay tolerance situation? Would it be better to bring up gay and bi people in a community of their peers where they wouldn't be judged and criticized for what they feel? OR...does it further separate us from the social 'norm', and make it easier for heterosexual people to see us as strange and different? Shoving us into little areas where they wouldn't have to 'deal' with us? What do you think?

Thanks dude! And welcome to GA! First time poster, you're a 'virgin'! ::Grins::

You know, it's a strange thing with me. Because I try really hard to just write for myself. And more times than not, I'm doing just that. I write everyday regardless of if I ever post it not. There are stories that I've written YEARS ago that have never been posted anywhere. It was more for my peace of mind than anything else. So the actual WRITING part of it, I do for myself. But when it comes to posting stuff online, that's when the opinions and feelings of other people come into play. And that's when I begin to stress over whether or not I'm making sense, or conveying the emotion I wan to get across. I start changing stuff at the very last minute, adding things, taking them away, trying to 'fix' what I feel is broken. And if it comes to the very last second when I KNOW that I'm supposed to post something on Friday...but it still doesn't 'feel' right, I end up delaying it a day or two (Sometimes a WEEK) until I think it's ready. The writing part is automatic for me, so that's the easy part. But making it ready for 'other' people to read...that takes me forever! And I stress about it constantly. And if I post something, and it gets no feedback or reaction, my mind automatically goes to the worst case scenario, and honestly...to me, it's embarrassing. I never want to be known for putting out mediocre or crappy stuff. And it sucks that it often makes people wait longer for stories, but it gets under my skin like you wouldn't believe to think that I did a shitty job when I could have waited and made things better.<p> So...can I write without an audience? Sure. Can I POST without an audience...I doubt it. To me, being ignored is a rejection. And I would EXHAUST myself trying not to let that happen.

Hiya, Tyler! First of all, welcome to the Cafe and to GA in general! I was just touched by what you wrote here, and wanted to let you know that, despite the rough road ahead, you're on the right path, dude. I'm just sorry that it takes a few toads before you get the prince. I know EXACTLY what you mean about that first time seeing two guys kiss and be ok with it. The first time I saw two guys kiss was on some cable special on homosexuality that I watched with the volume almost all the way down, and terrified because my mom was in the other room. So I kept my hand on the rmote in case I had to change the channel really fast to keep from getting caught. I just remember thinking about gay life being all about rough sex and hiding it in secret and being ashamed of it and all. And then...I saw these two guys, one of them really cute, just cuddled up on the couch, and sharing a sweet kiss between one another. Not some deep throat tongue action or anything, just an intimate moment betwen two people that loved each other. And that just....it meant EVERYTHING to me! It let me know that being gay wasn't all some rough and tumble 'prison rape' type of thing, and that it wa nothing to be scared of or ashamed of. I think I was 14 or 15 at the time, but it really changed the way I saw myself. And it helped. Now...I did have a few lucky 'incidents' growing up as far as finding boys was concerned. Hehehe! But I always felt like being gay was like a cocaine habit! I thought it was wrong and screwed up and it certainly wasn't worth ruining my whole LIFE over....but DAMN if I wasn't tempted! So I occasionally 'fell off the wagon' as far as being straight was concerned. Hehehe! But I had fun. And you will too. No matter what, there are people out there who would be lucky to have you. And you'll find them in time. Once you learn to love yourself, finding love from someone else is much easier. Not EASY....but easier. As for your friend....I'll just say that I NEVER got that. And you should be angry. "Gee, I'm ok with you being gay as ong as you never mention it, never think about it, and it has absolutely no impact on our life or our friendship whatsoever." What the hell kinda sense does THAT make? You know? But either he'll come around or he won't. And if he doesn't, you can do better. ((Hugz)) Anyway, welcome aboard, dude! Happy to have ya! And let us know when you get that story finished! We'd love to check it out!

Awww, dude...I don't think it's a 'cowards' way out at all. It's honest. You're doing what you think best suits your particular situation at this particular time. Nothing wrong with that. I just wonder who I'd be if it wasn't for me being gay. Not just keeping that secret...but when I think about it, most of my closest friends aren't really the 'girl chasing' type. They're straight, but they're not your average Monday Night Football, bikini watching, types. I wonder if I'd even get along with them if I was 'stereotypically straight'. And if not...and they pretty much molded my sense of humor, and my interests, and have been a part of most of my biggest experiences...would I have ended up being a completely different person? I gotta admit, it puzzles me sometimes.

So, maybe that's a big part of the question too. Maybe one of the biggest factors about taking th pill is WHEN it is actually offered to you. I suppose a scared and confused 14 year old kid might be more eager to take it, than a 20-something college boy that has come to accept himself a bit more. And that 20-something might be more inclined to take one than a 40-something or older who has already built a life around what he knows about himself, and might have grown comfortable with who they are. Of course, it's not JUST age. There are tons of other issues where at any age or era, being gay is a hassle, a serious risk, or even 'illegal'. But I imagine that a decision I made 10 or 15 years ago would be completely different from the decisions I would make now. Maybe, you'd have to be at least 21 before you could take the pill? That seems to be the big number in the states (after 18).

::Giggles:: No comment on that one! LOL!

Aw, NO WAY!!! Hehehe, damn you! You're wrecking the curve!

As both "Savage Moon" and "Magic Man" only have a few more sections to be posted each, there will be a big return to all of the high school stories. And, of course, "MOE" is always high on that list. So shortly after Valentine's Day, you'll definitely have a brand new chapter to read. And yeah, sometimes the story is hard to write, but it's a happy part of the story. So it's much more enjoyable these day. The earlier ones were much harder. But that was also my irst time really dealing with things. So hopefully the experience is still getting the 'poison' out, you know?

By the way, very god points about age and marriage being a factor as well. Time changes so much. Even now, there are boys in high school that I talk to now who do things that I NEVER could have done when I was in high school in the 90's. And...if I was married and committed to a family that I cared about...I would definitely want to keep that committment. So I understand where you guys are coming from, totally.

Thanks so much for answering this one, you guys. I always love seeing the honesty in these kinda of questions. There's always some wisdom to be learned from stuff like this. And Eggman??? Hahaha! ::Smooches:: What's up stranger??? Tell Thor my leg misses him! (Stephen too! ) For me personally? I wouldn't want it. I honestly don't know who I would be without it. When I think back to all of the people I've met, and all the crazy shit I've done, for the sake of a pretty boy...it makes me dizzy. I saw my first sunrise because of a cute boy. Went to a lot of parties because of cute boys. Met my best friend in the world because I was hot for him. I just think that I've invested so much of my personality in liking guys that it would be hard to switch now. Besides....I enjoy noticing that beauty! There's nothing like it in the world. (Still think girls kiss better though.)

I 'KNOW', right? I was actually pretty confident about the test when I was taking it. Hehehe, I thought I'd at LEAST get a 70%. I guess I need more practice

One question I always ask at the Shack every six months or so, just to get an idea on what people think, is this:<p> IF....there was a magic pill out there, created tomorrow and put on the open market....that would easily and flawlessly make the 'gay' go away....would you take it?<p> If it would chemically stop you from being a homosexual...and suddenly make you straight (Or...as most would have you believe....'normal'), would you want it?<p> On one hand, you give up everything that you are and everything that you've learned to live with over time. Your life would change drastically, and the chance of you being the person you are now, might be lost for good.<p> On the other hand, you are being given the chance to let go of the stigma of being gay. You could be socially accepted. You could be free of what some would consider a 'curse'...and could live an entirely different life from the one you have now. Without judgement or ridicule. <p> What do you think? If someone could 'cure' you tomorrow....would you want to be cured? Let me know what you think....<p>

DAMN! Hehehe! Good man! <p> I really screw up on those double 'tt's, double 'rr's, and double 'cc's'! Every time! <p>

Good points made all around. And I agree with a great deal of it. Sometimes it's really difficult to get a bunch of creative individuals on the same project. So keeping it down to just a few choice authors is probably best. The less, the better.<p> But I still don't think it's impossible for a round robin type of story to work. It just takes a lot of work and communication to pull it off. As I believe that I was warned about that before starting the "Lost In Shadow" story on my website a year or two ago. ::winks::<p> As for a smaller collaboration, I really like the idea of it. I think the matching of styles and ideas would really be something amazing if it could be pulled off. Something like that takes a lot of hard work and planning, but how would that be any different from a lot of well written online stories? You know? I think it's just a matter of 'constant' communication and discussion, and most important of all, compromise. Which is extremely hard for a lot of authors. But not impossible. I'd love to see some match ups come together, you know? Great minds could do amazing things when they work together.

Hehehe, awesome! I could see that! Love the facial expression too! It fits.