Dear Santa Claus:
I've been a very good froggy this year. Mostly. Shh! I've been eating my flies, and kept my tongue inside my mouth (unless asked not to ).
Pagey and Albert still refuse to let me play with their spouses. So rude!
The triplets continue to wreak havoc. Instead of a naughty list, they should have a naughty storage room. The brothers have a kinky attraction to each other, and the sister teases them about it.
Dugh and Gary are not feeling well. Could you send nurses to take care of them? A ginger male nurse for Dugh, and a ginger female for Gary. (I'm sweet, not stupid ).
Guys have been worshipping my friend Thor's hammer. Is that a new religion?
And, guess what? I made two new friends! SuperMan and The Raven. Both of them are superheroes, and that's why I can't tell you that their secret identities are Craig and Terry. SuperMan fights crime during the day, one audit at a time. And The Raven fights crime during night-time at restaurants, bars, and clubs. Have you seen those prices? Criminals!
Anyway, give my best regards to your husband (yeah, I know he uses a wig for appearances. Otherwise, the nutjobs' heads will explode ). Take care, fly safe, and Merry Christmas.
P.S. I know Keanu is unavailable. So, now that he's single, I'd like Hugh Jackman as a Christmas present.