SolarMaxx

Welcome ---

Things seem to be looking definitely up for Billy in this chapter. He has a cool summer job that he loves, in a music store populated by fascinating, if not cryptic characters. And Brandon is actually reaching out to Billy after a seemingly-endless roller coaster separation -- offering flirtatious smiles and fresh hope of a rekindled relationship. But Billy is on thin ice and doesn't know it -- and Jimmy LaPlane is a blow torch! Jimmy did plenty to poison Brandon's mind before Billy broke Jimmy's heart. What will Jimmy do -- and how far will he go when the thunder breaks, and he painfully learns that he is the odd-man-out in an skewed love triangle -- with nothing left to lose?

"The Island's Secret" is almost poetry in it's simplicity and beauty. It is sensitively written: Set in the plush beauty of central Canada's sprawling woodland. Here, two young teens, Ben and Asher find friendship, adventure and ultimately each other, during one golden summer on the shores and pristine shallows of a Muskoka lake. Along the way, they make a bold and insightful new friend, explore the hidden wonders of a private island, and bask in the privileged comfort of a wealthy uncles lifestyle. This story has heart -- as it gently explores the intense stirrings of a first-love, a first kiss and the innocent wonder of adolescent self discovery.

I admit to having been a Billy Chase junky from chapter 1 -- as much for his flaws, as for his virtues. He's a big hearted, well meaning teen, who sometimes falls prey to his basic desires and need for self-discovery. In all honesty; who among us can cast the first stone? In this chapter, we're again reminded of what a rare and caring friend Sam is: Willing to tell the unvarnished truth, not to punish -- but to guide. I think Billy is starting to grasp the full scope of damage he's unwittingly inflicted into Jimmy's fragile existence. In the process, he's also forming a more mature understanding of his father's life and actions. Like father, like son -- it can be a bitch! I hope Sam can talk Jimmy down without getting too pulled in himself -- for everyone's sake! Few forces are more dangerous than the fury of wounded heart!

Good point! That is a vague statement. If a person is truly attracted to both sexes and chooses to commit to a person of a particular gender, it seems the other half of their sexual profile -- being essentially unexpressed -- becomes repressed by default. I wonder if that has a damaging long-term psychological effect. Or can it be benignly ignored?

I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to repress part of yourself without damaging the whole. . .

XD -- I've spent considerable time in Narnia myself! I don't want to come across as an anti-religious zealot -- because I'm not! I've visited many places of worshiped and studied their traditions. There is almost always a core of values that embodies truth and beauty, and worthy of reflection. It's only when virtue gets perverted into a self-serving addenda that I become weary! Maxx

Thanks zaf89 -- I'm agree with you. I was reminded in a previous posting here, that I shouldn't be trying to tell him what to do. It is his decision. I find myself embracing that sentiment, especially since I've never come out to my own parents -- or any other living soul for that matter. I guess I'll never know for sure, but I've always suspected that if I had had the courage to try, my father would have burned me at the stake to save my soul! I know that's hyperbole -- or maybe gallows humor -- but it's probably dangerously close to the truth! Maxx

My siblings and family members, without exception, are about as religiously extreme, and fundamentally dogmatic as anyone I've encountered through direct experience! I've seen harsher extremes in the news, but I don't want to go there! On one hand, I'm often reminded that I will "burn in hell for all eternity..." for audaciously questioning my religious teachings! On the other hand, when someone is troubled and seeking solice, they usually wind up at my doorstep -- almost secretly -- to talk. Since I'm an agnostic, I think it comfort's them to know I won't be condemning them to hell! Maxx

WOW! Talk about living in the Twilight Zone!

I'm inclined to agree with most of what your saying Ashi. My nephew already knows he has a place with us whenever; and for as long as he needs it. Neither my wife or myself would want him anywhere else, in a worst-case-scenario. But if it comes to that, it will divide the family catastrophically, and permanently, I'm afraid. And Even though he would be safe and loved here, I think it would damage him in ways he might not be able to see just yet. It would also cast one hell of a shadow over his remaining high school years! As for me, I'm loyal by nature, and I never spent much time considering what might have been, or how I could cheat to get more! I was lucky enough to find my soul-mate and fall in love early in life -- and yes, I'm happy it was with a women, I guess it could have just as easily gone the other way -- and wise enough, most days, to be grateful! Thanks for the feedback, Maxx

Thank you Larwain, for your supportive words -- and taking the time to send them. They definitely ring of truth, and you've given me some constructive ideas to consider. I have to say, there are some very impressive people on this site. I wish I would have had access to it in high school. The information vacuum for anything existing outside my family's belief system was absolute! Maxx

Thank you for that thought gnomenreigen! I think maybe I just needed to hear it from another person. Until recently I've always felt that same way, especially because I do love my wife, and we have a happy life together. I sometimes wonder if we would be even closer if I told her about my gay half. I don't she would believe me, but if I did managed to convince her, I think she would be very supportive as long as I wasn't on the prowl! I honestly don't know if such a revelation would be painful for her or not! Since it has always been a moot point, I guess I never will. I think this whole thing with my nephew stirred up some dormant feelings. It's not easy being a sin-eater in my family! For all the scripture quoting -- there seems to be an awful lot of sins! I have 14 nephews and 6 nieces -- and every single one of them is perfect! Thanks again, Maxx

OK -- I'm not exactly proud of this, or necessarily ashamed -- but I've have never told anyone about my bi-sexuality, or even had a single same-sex experience. I suppose I closed that part of myself off in high school, and while I used to think it was complicated, it's really not. Dating women exclusively was always far easier and safer! I always had lots of opportunities and I was lucky enough to fall in love and get married early in life. I don't want to piss anyone off, although I know I probably will, but that's the path I chose without regret, and I have a great life most of the time. Until recently, I never looked back. I grew up in a very large, very religious family, in the rigid heart of the Midwest bible-belt. Tolerance and progressive thinking aren't exactly hallmarks here! My nephew came out to me some months ago, probably because I'm the family sin-eater (dumping ground for everyone else's problems) -- and he knows I'm agnostic! He doesn't know about my sexual duality, and I'm not inclined to tell him because somehow I just can't do it, and I also don't see how it would be helpful at this time. My first inclination, when he asked my advice, was to advise him to follow his conscience -- because he actually seems to be OK being gay! But frankly, advising him to be honest with his parents at this point in his life seems like majorly-dangerous idealism! I already know I'm a bad one to ask so don't even waste a single watt of energy admonishing me -- I really can't handle the additional guilt. He's a very good kid and I know that lying & deception don't come naturally to him. But I'm really concerned that if his "coming-out" goes badly, his life could become a living hell! I'm now thinking that discretion is a more practical path for him, at least until he is on his own. I wish I didn't know any of this -- it's definitely keeping me up nights. I'm really concerned about giving him the wrong advice! I want him to feel good about himself and who he is -- but also be aware that it can be a hostel world, and oppression and cruelty can be unrelenting -- even among those you love!

What advice do you give a 15 year old nephew about coming out to his parents?

Hi, I'm Maxx, -- I'm too old to live in my first childhood, and too young to start my second! Staying balanced between a spoiled inner-child and responsible outer adult is a full time job -- but it's a good job and most days I'm happy to have it. I don't give much advice, but I am a natural born listener, and love the written word. Anyone telling an interesting story can hold my attention.

In the same why that sexual orientation is not a CHOISE -- I'm wondering if hatred is. Albeit taught, often at an early age before insight can develop, I'm wondering if hatred can be neutralized in a damaged person -- poisoned from birth -- under the right circumstances! Is it actually possible to choose to want to change? If so, maybe one needs to extend tolerance to cultivate tolerance in others. Maybe we are all meant to "better" this world one person at a time.

It seems to me the biggest obstacle to tolerance and exceptance is the notion that somehow people are able to choose a sexual preference, or set of feeling! I know too many highly educated people who truly believe this.