jaejordon

Nicely done Ace, It's really coming along. So who is Elijah? Loved how you left it

Wow, chapter two was jam packed with a lot of activity, my head is still reeling in a good way. Nice intriguing little end there. hmmm, I wonder what's going to happen next. I suppose all with be revealed in the next chapter. Nicely done Carlos

Thanks Rex for taking the time to read and comment. You will definitely get some insight and a measure of some of the other characters introduces as the story progresses. Thanks again

Sorry to hear what you're going through little man and yes, your sense of humor may not be for the masses. Equally, you're a young person trying to find your way and that need to be understood by your elders too. You've said your sorry and you deserved to be forgiven for your indiscretions. I hope you don't decide to lay low. I would miss you, as I'm sure so would a lot of others. You are an entertaining and creative young man with a lot of talent. Just be mindful before making comment, which may not be to everyone's liking. However, I also think we as grown up ought to remember what it was like to be young. And that trampling all over a teenager is not cool either. Our role is to nurture and guide not to destroy. Stay strong little man.

I thought the prologue was good, but chapter one blew me away. These are two very engaging characters, you feel right there in the story with them. I'm now invested. Keep the chapters coming Ace. Well done.

An interesting beginning, the sense of anxiety is evident and the angst of every shy young person is well demonstrated. A good start well done. Looking forward to reading more. So keep it coming Jae

An awesome start, I was hooked from the beginning. I really enjoyed both parts to the story. However, I do think the story would benefit from a transition sentence linking the two scenes together so it doesn't jump out at you as you move from one scene to the other. I don't know something angst, maybe like- he was troubled, how AJ would view him now - which would make the troubled dream less instant. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this, and will follow this story as I'm super interested to see where it goes, Well done

Ha! The phone calls to the chef tickled the hell out of me. What a network to be in. I want them to be mine fiends too. Nicely done, quite the cliffhanger chapter ending. Someone was me to come back and read the rest of their story

Thanks drpaladin, All will be revealed. I have that same smile as I continue to write this story. Isn't it great

thanks Ace, you'll have to keep reading and find out he is adorable actually

Thanks Carlos, I'm hoping an editor will read it and offer their services. I'm glad you like it.

Hi Stephen, thanks for reading and providing feedback. I'm really glad you got this character. However, I dare say he will get worse before he gets better. But there will be change and growth. In which direction only my muse can say, thanks again.

I smile at my reflection. I’m pretty fly for a white guy. Damn, I have hair that women would spend good money to glue to their heads, with its natural thickness and volume. It’s as tamed as it is luscious. My man Keith has got the shits, due to the laxative I put in his tea earlier. Teach the lazy privileged bastard to make his own tea in the mornings, I’m on an agenda. I should be studying, I have finals next week, but here I am plotting and scheming to bring down that rich bastard with the ru

A Young man bent on changing his destiny.

Nice,

I couldn't get my head around the positioning, but I don't care. The end scene was hotter than a mouthful of scotch bonnet.

I like this story, it's well written and interesting. I will reserve comment until I read the other chapter, However, this a promising start to ad intriguing story, and somehow I feel this will only get better. Nice, hot and a good read. Forward to chapter two