Doctor Oger

At first I was following a boy and a giant on a path through a forest, and that became just me and a person I knew (but don't actually) crossing the path of an almost blind man (whom I actually know). I greeted him, he greeted back respectfully and told me something that I've forgotten now. But it's not important. Before us was a giant, cave-like structure. This forest was very tall, and this cave was right in the side of a mountain, with this broad path leading straight up to it, and it was ver

Mohammed Hehe. You won't believe this. Benni has earned my everlasting worship now. If he ever needs an accomplice for robbery, murder, a bombing, anything, I'll be there. I'll lie for him now, give him a kidney, a lung, half my liver, blood, marrow, anything. I'll foster his children, cover for him, jump between him and an army of armed hooligans. Thanks to him, Mohammed is sitting at my desk right now and checking the tram schedule. "What are you writing?" He's looked up and is smiling

I don't know why exactly, but this man who looked a little like Martin Freeman in a police uniform and was my pretend-husband (and I a person in a yellow raincoat fluctuating between male and female) wanted us to get off the tube at the very last station and hide in a niche at the underground depot. I was pressing myself into a small wallgap to stay unnoticed, whereas he just stood there in plain view of the subway people and no one seemed to care. The subway people finally left and we'd been su

Very interesting point of view. You've managed to package the horror into a shiny case of pretentious words that make it into that ironic frame for the little horror-window. ("Under the influence of the myriad drugs that I had mixed in your drinks all evening, you kept repeating your mantra in stilted breath. "This is not happening to me." Yet it did.") It's good.

It was a hall of beds in a hospital, like it was a hundred years ago, with over two dozen occupied beds in one big room. I know that there were in total two floors like this in the building, as well as two or three hallways lined with smaller rooms, like hospital bedrooms today. This was due to the small size of this hospital, I knew. I had a bed in this big room, which was bustling with the activity of nurses and the other patients. Sitting up, I could overlook most of the ward, because behind

Thank you! I appreciate the multiple read very much.

Then it worked. Thank you for not looking away.

In for a penny, in for a pound In for a penny in for a pound is what they said to her when she was found. In for a penny in for a pound you knew you were in for this merry-go-round and merry and merry you did go around in for a penny in for a pound. You danced with him and let him believe showed bits of skin so you were in deep you were in deep for a kiss, pretty miss, for a penny, a pound. The deeper you delve into sin, into vice, the steeper the price you bri

I'll take a "Wow" over a Like any time, haha.

The Lizard People In the dream there was a hall in a mountain with many colourful boxes and containers like in Sokoban my people were led through it while men worked there and pushed boxes. I fell back two paces and in my way they pushed a wall of open boxes and cut me off from my group. I jumped onto a stack that was several metres high to jump over this wall behind which my men turned around towards me and waited for me. It did not work I took a detour displaced as a little pr

... Interesting...

I’ll catch you up later. (add quotation marks) The group I call the others (italics) The Adam-Codey encounter strikes me as a bit unrealistic. How would a kid react to being approached like that? Codey seems unusually trusting and open and Adam seems uncharacteristically forward and open here. But I guess that's done now. I go back inside, to my friends. The others, I correct myself. (Well done.) “Hey man, I thought I had to text you now whilst I still dare to, else I might just not do it. I am hoping you maybe want to, I dunno, go for a walk or something today? I’d like to just talk and be outside, because the weather is nice today. What’ya think?” (not too long for a text?) “So, I noticed you first while walking through the hall. You looked a little down, that’s why I decided to… uhmm,” I try to look a little embarrassed. “I decided to watch you for a few days. Just to see if you made a habit of being sad.” I look at him. “And you did. That’s why I decided to follow you home,” I lie. “And then I met your mother, from then on you know everything I bet.” (Stalker! Stalker! That's creepy, Adam! If Codey doesn't back away now he's either stupid or very interested in him.)

The bane of our eight-year-old existence, ha.

Beautiful review, Lisa! ;D

It's about complaining and never getting anything done - you know people like that.

;]

Thank you very much!

This is a very good chapter. You're really good at characterisation. And I admire how you manage to give other characters a full personality we can look into, even though you have a first-person narrator. That's not easy. Adam is many-faceted and interesting as well as reflected without being too insightful. Very nice, Stannie. - him never able to ("him never being able to") - Normally I don’t feel a lot for visiting others while I can be at home writing posts (This is good) - I can’t help but to blush ("I can't help but blush") - my respond ("my response" – respond is the verb, response the noun) - this does feels good ("this does feel good") - 30 minutes / 100 percent (You know... Either words or numerals. You know words have my vote.) - regret sneak upon me ("sneaks up on me")

- We don’t know what kind of person is the writer of the posts. (Syntax) - I can once like her ("Once" means "one time" or "one time in the past" – NOT future) - help me making dinner ("help me do something" – always infinitive. "Help me make dinner") - not 100 percent honest. (Decide whether you want numbers or words. Either write "not 100 % honest" or "not one hundred percent honest." Whichever you choose, keep that up throughout the story with your numbers. Either write them out or keep them numbers, but do it consistently. And keep in mind that writing them out is more literary as a general rule. You're not writing a scientific paper, after all.) - he always seem to behave ("seems to behave") - with someone without kiss her ("kissing" – better yet: "kissing her first") - Only the thought is able to make me sick. ("The thought alone is enough to make me (feel) sick.") - accepting a girls wished ("acknowledging a girl's wishes") - relieve ("relief") - it’s the sentence it’s not fair. (You already said "sentence" in the previous sentence. No need to repeat it. Scrap "the sentence" in this particular sentence. ;P ) Great characterisation of Adam, Samantha and Seth. Well done. Also Tyde. Very good. And the poor mother. She must be superwoman to not be burned out and broken down yet. In general: Watch your tense. You do most in present tense, but you dribble in a few simple pasts here and there. In some cases it fits but mostly it doesn't. So watch your tense and keep it consistent. (Example: I sigh. My mother watches me with sympathy, almost wanting to apologize, but I know she was right. Of course she has to do this, I only wished I didn’t have to hear the fights all the time.) Also, LOVE this passage: << When my mom is done teaching my brother how to be human, she asks him to clean up the table. Without protesting Tyde does what she asks. When he cleaned up almost half of all the dishes, he walks away. “Tyde, you’re not done yet,” she calls out to him. “The rest is for Adam, mom. I did my half.” I sigh. I expected this to happen. I already get up to clean up the table, but my mother gestures me to sit down. “Adam helped me with the cooking, so you have to clean up.” “But he likes cooking, so it doesn’t count,” my brother calls out from the hallway. He still keeps walking, on his way to his room.>>

An Adventure Hands are shaking, earth is quaking, lavastreams are chasing us! Luckily, just for the taking, over there are dinosaurs. Hurry! Run! we shout and cry, Hurry! Run! Or we must die! With panting spurts - the lava hurts! - we hop onto Triceratops. Now under us the lava lurks - The Tricies clear it with two hops. Hurry! Run! we shout and cry, Hurry! Run! Or we must die! Our friends can jump on any bump that death has not yet reached. We get to safety in o

You're welcome. I'm very glad it was enjoyable. And thank you very much for the feedback.

O: Hey, something did come to me in a dream. It had nothing to do with knives, but it's fascinating. It had to do with world-shells. E: Go on... O: Or rather... bubbles. In each other. E: I see... O: There was this chaotic, hostile world with warlords. With powers that shouldn't exist, and 'normal' people didn't have them. Somehow there was fear hovering around in sort of immaterial large clouds, or planes, and you just happened to 'enter' it sometimes. And you were always hunted. E: What..

Finally characters. This is getting really interesting.

And Adam just stays interesting, ha!

I'm really glad you finally continued with the story, thank you. What happened to the language, though? Did someone proofread and edit the first chapter? Because that seemed pretty spotless.