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Doctor Oger
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A Masochist Riding crop to calves and thighs illicits subtly glinting sighs; through humbled nudity like ice the short, sharp whips are small a price. They buy your wanton relish cheap whereas for you it's been a leap of risky faith to let them keep your shield in a discarded heap. The lashes tingle in your flesh and up your limbs into your brain where the viciousness so fresh and just the hint of searing pain carve your mind a tasty gash and have you step beyond the sane.
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Stirred but not shaken. The narrator is getting dizzier and slightly more desperate and pitiful until at last they arrive at something like bribery and "I will do as you say." Of course it wouldn't make you feel good. It's a descent. Thank you very much.
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Thank you for the feedback! And for being open enough, despite the title's connotation in English, to read it in earnest. I'm also very glad of your praise for the two things I value most in writing. That is flattering, but please be brutally honest with me whenever you notice something that should be corrected or pointed out (like what this title means f.e. if I hadn't mentioned it myself). If you really want to try it, here's the German original: http://thecolonialhive.blogspot.de/2016/01/yid.html
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I agree with the other reviewers (Valkyrie, Randomness, Carrington and AC), so I won't repeat it all and only add what hasn't been said yet: - Entertaining - Funny in a sweet way - Some grammar and spelling issues to work through - Very unidiomatic English, but I don't think that's bad actually. I think in this story it's kind of charming. Carry on. You're a good storyteller.
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The Dark Red The sweet wine tastes sour in my mouth. Just an hour ago I never knew the taste of ash. But then, I also didn't know she was that rash. A furious girl, I am thinking. Into wine and fireplace flames I am sinking. Were you thinking then? During the moment when I once, just once, let down my guard and you sank a dagger into my heart? Girl, you are my grave, you are my gallows. Watching dark fire, I'm taking more swallows. This wine is not sour anymore, it is pain. It'
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As it's supposed to. Thank you for the feedback! You sound very careful. I'm glad for anything dysfunctional pointed out to me as well, so please never tiptoe around courteously, and please be brutally honest.
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(A cook's) Thoughts to end all thoughts
Doctor Oger commented on Doctor Oger's story chapter in (A cook's) Thoughts to end all thoughts
The case of Vatel actually does exemplify what the thanklessness and stress of a service job that is kind of respected, but not really, can lead to. Cooking is one of the most romanticised professions, while also being quite stressful/hard and taken for granted by anyone without their own experience in service. You're expected to see cooking as your calling, and people you tell that you're a cook/chef start smiling and express respect, but at the same time in working day reality, you are used like a 19th century line worker. Eh, I didn't want to launch an essay now, though I could go on. Thanks for the Vatel pointer and link. That's an interesting story with interesting sources. Thank you very much for the review. -
Merder in a schoib (Yiddish = Murder(er) in a window/slice/frame/pane) By now I made no great effort to avoid touching too much of the faded drape fabric as I was standing by the window and throwing a slanted glance down into the glinting alley. After all, there was little use in remaining squeamish when I had already spent a night in this decades-old, stained bed. Now the smell of my own body and cologne dominated this room rather than the mould, the rain and the cabbage vapours from the tapro
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And this is a groovy review for a poem I'm still serious about. ;] Glad to have feedback, thank you.
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From the speakers the sensual sound
Doctor Oger commented on Doctor Oger's story chapter in From the speakers the sensual sound
I'm glad it works. Thank you very much for the review. - Oger -
From the speakers the sensual sound
Doctor Oger commented on Doctor Oger's story chapter in From the speakers the sensual sound
Oh! Thank you. -
The Swamp A fragrant swamp That's what it is. A fragrant swamp of warmth and bliss. You sink in deep, tempted to sleep Your vision grows dim, and if you don't learn to swim You will drown as it pulls you down But it's so beautiful It's so safe and warm and healthy. There's pressure from all sides, but it's tender. Soft, hot, living tissue surrounds you like a body. Its pulse replaces your own. There's a hitch in your heart when those eyes bear down on you from that sky. And you s
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From the speakers the sensual sound
Doctor Oger commented on Doctor Oger's story chapter in From the speakers the sensual sound
Oh, I'm not putting it down. If I found it really horrible I wouldn't have put it up here. I'm happy you liked it, and thank you for the feedback! -
From the speakers the sensual sound
Doctor Oger commented on Doctor Oger's story chapter in From the speakers the sensual sound
It's a kind of "rhyme or die!" text is what I meant. I'm glad you found it all those other brilliant things anyway. -
From the speakers the sensual sound We play the Nine Inch Nails and we're kissing I relish this and all it entails nothing is missing He's pulling open my ponytail with his deft hands so slender and so pale they remain in the strands While his tongue, always teasing almost drives me furious his touch, always pleasing renders me delirious From the speakers the sensual sound is ridding us of our brains My poor senses are reeling around sensitive touch is all that remain
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I Jimmy looked up from her pocket calendar and scanned the rooftops on the other side of the window. The tram was standing, so the movement outside had been unmistakably there, and despite the darkness outside and the light inside the car the view of the tiled roofs was fairly clear. There had been something black and too large for a bird, just for a moment. She kept squinting at the roofs and the chimneys and antennae up there until the tram started moving again. Like all other information th
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"Can I talk to you?" Kjeld asked. He looked serious in a downcast way, standing in the laboratory's doorway like that. "In private." He peered around the room. A lot was moving and making noise in here, but none of it was caused by a living being. In fact, the quietest thing in here was probably Teague himself, who had only been watching three burners and taking notes on a rack of vials whose contents looked very much like blood. He only looked up once to acknowledge Kjeld's presence before refo
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Bliss in 2007 Strange blue wide screen Wide range orange light beam A tree that looks like Norma Jeane Horizon sews a golden gleam. All the garden’s smells are green But its look’s a gentler tone Brownish in the thick air’s sheen At this time of day alone It is not so very clean And it soothes you to the bone. Believers’ distant metal chime Hot the coals’ red adders’ shine Easy thing to spend the time To keep this glorious evening mine. Could I just on any other day S
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Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you.
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He stood facing the shop window with slightly hunched shoulders over which hung a chafed and tattered frock coat, smoking a sorry excuse for a cigarette. It did not quite have the semblance of one of those neat, tightly rolled little accessories that true gentlemen kept in engraved silver cases in their breast pockets for friendly and intimate chatter with cognac by a marble fireplace. He had rolled it with anxiously shaking, tobacco- and inkstained dry fingers, on his way here, to this window,
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A despairing novelist encounters a mystery.
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We Made The Milky Way Ever seen a drop so dark that stained the lip of yours, that spread out deep onto your tongue to taste of burning force? This life I give to you along with starry strings that stick - the Milky Way, it sprayed so strong – destroyed, just with a lick. And you take in the flaming flesh seasoned with white and red and drink the violence so fresh in all the love I’ve bled. We’re hungry now and strain the wreath, a rhythm we’re adopting. You move like
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Irritating Clara may make another appearance alongside Me/Arya Stark ... He he he. I really hope that happens.
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Chapter 1: Booing at myself
Doctor Oger commented on Stannie's story chapter in Chapter 1: Booing at myself
Well written, well characterised, well set. Well done. Please keep going. This is good. -
"Somehow, I just never expected this." Teague's brow was carefully furrowed and his slightly wary, doubtful glance around the room betrayed precious little of the discomfort he felt at this very moment. He had left the door behind him wide open, just in case, and had not moved far into the room yet. He had made his own experiences with Mala, after all. Kjeld's predecessor as occupant of this dorm room had had a knack for lures, traps and unpleasant surprises. Something she called 'a party' would
