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Myr

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Blog Entries posted by Myr

  1. Myr

    A Time of Reflection

    By Myr,


    Life
    They say that the new year is a time of reflection. It has been a very long time since I just sat down to write and I did that last night. It felt good to do it.
    I decided to stop by my blog because I was cleaning up old stuff. With the big software upgrade, some of the old junk needs to go. I decided to keep this blog though because of it's long history. But since I was here, why not write something?
    One of my goals for this year was to be more visible on the site. You've seen some of that by my weekly Tech Tuesday posts. My hope going forward is to be more involved again this year. Remind myself again why I spend so much time here, even when you don't see me.
    We have so much to do this year. It's going to be busy.
    See you soon!
    Myr
  2. Myr

    Saying the Last Good Bye to Dad

    By Myr,


    Life
    Last Saturday morning, about ten minutes after arriving at my destination on campus my mother called my cell phone. I could barely make out what she was saying. The gist of it was that dad had a massive heart attack and collapsed in the driveway. She told me she was getting on the ambulance and hung up.
    It took me almost 15 minutes to trudge across campus through the snow to my car. I was going as quick as I could without falling on the ice. I drove to my house and grabbed my meds and some clothes. Before jumping back in my car, I called my uncle to get the hospital they took him to. I jumped back in the car and drove to the next city over. The normally 70 minute drive was nearly 2 hours. The Thruway was covered in snow and it was snowing the whole drive.
    I arrived at the hospital and when I checked in at the security desk, the guard basically said "Oh. Come with me."
    We went through a maze of hallways. As soon as I came around the corner my wailed "he's gone". I think that sound she made will hunt my nightmares for years. Dad went just like his father did. Grandpa died at work at age 51. He just dropped and was gone. Dad was 67 and a couple weeks and he he just dropped and was gone too. They tried in the ambulance to bring him back. But he was gone when he hit the driveway. The last time I talked to him was his birthday. My last words to him were "I love you dad." His last words to me were "I love you." So, though I wasn't there when he went, he knew how much I loved him and I knew how much he loved me.
    I'm an only child and this week has been hell on earth. For those of you that have siblings, you probably never give much thought to it, but at the end of the day when everyone goes home, there is only you and your mom. Mom had dad for 38 years. They still acted like teenagers when they went out. Nothing can fill that hole and trying to hold it together for mom has been the hardest thing I've ever done.
    I've got a lot of stuff to do ahead of me, but I wanted to write this to talk about dad. And because dad was a funny guy I want to leave this on something upbeat, because that's what he'd want.
    When I was 24, the first father's day after coming out, I played golf with my father/son golf tournament. While sitting in the golf cart waiting for all the people to play, my father kept pointing at the various sons and going "What about that one? His ass sticks out. do you like that one?" as we passed various guys, he kept doing this. finally he points to a kid,maybe 15, and says, "what about him?"
    "DAD!! Sure, when he's a few years older and not jailbait!"
    "Bah, if there's grass on the field, it's ready to mow."
    I smacked his arm.
    Did any of your dads point out guys to you after coming out?
    Bye Dad. I'll love you forever.
  3. Myr

    Reflecting On The Past

    By Myr,


    Life
    Today would have been Dad's 69th birthday. Today mark's two years since I last talked to him. In a few weeks, it will mark two years since he died.

    I have been in a contemplative mood all day. Withdrawn would be a good word.

    A lot has been going on in the last two years. I've spent a LOT of weekends at Mom's, which means a lot of traveling. I've had a lot of ups and downs and being there for mom. I've not had much in the way of downtime trying to take care of things Mom can't, working a full time demanding job, and running Gay Authors. Certainly somethings have taken longer than I'd have liked. This software upgrade has dragged on for too long, but I've not had the time to chase it.

    I'll be doing even more shaking up in my personal life over the next year. Things on the site will continue as they have. We'll have that upgrade soon. I'll have more time to write. Try to spend less time stressing on stuff and more time living.

    Dad had a great philosophy on life. Grasp a hold of it and live it. Never go to bed angry.

    I'm trying Dad. Love you. Miss you.
  4. Myr

    Things to do - Isn't there always?

    By Myr,


    Life
    So, I use Wunderlist to keep track of my To Do lists.  I have a lot of them.  Stuff for the site, stuff for the business, stuff for home, stuff for mom's home, stuff for the mancave, stuff for writing, and even entertainment.  There are more too.  As of this moment, I have 69 things on my To Do list flagged for Today.  After 50 hours sucked up by the work week, I'm a bit grouchy that I've got more stuff to do.
    My nerdy nature doesn't help.  I like doing research on stuff.  (like reading books on string theory and Einstein-Rosenburg bridges for my sci-fi stuff.)  But I'm also reading psychology and marketing books. They go in fits in starts as I get a few moments.  I am constantly reading about all the changes to Google that affect our lives.  It seems kind of endless.  Some of this stuff I can't just let slide either.  We have to march to Google's constantly changing beat so we can be found in the search engine so that we can get traffic so that we can get ad revenue so that we can stay open.  I don't do this nearly as often as I should be.  There are tools out there that help with all this, but the good ones cost a fair bit of money.  It's worthwhile to invest in them from time to time to make the improvements, but I need to have more free time when I do that so that I can take maximum advantage of the tool while we have it.  I wish I had more time to devote to the site.  Short of a sudden 10x increase in subscribers, I won't have that time.  Though, if we do get a 10x increase in subscribers, I'd be able to dedicate full time to the site and really do some interesting things. lol.
    I should probably do some chores, eat breakfast and then triage my to-do list.
  5. Myr
    Well.  Here I am.  I've finished off my two weeks at my last job.  Saying goodbye to the great people I worked with was hard.  I did that on Friday.  I finished packing and moving Saturday.  (and did 13,600 steps before taking off the Fitbit...).  Sunday was Easter with the family and now I'm looking at the giant pile of boxes and furniture and trying to figure out how all that stuff fit in my old place and will fit here at home.
    I've known this was coming for awhile, of course.  I built my mancave last year.  It will serve as my entertainment and fun room.  One of my computers is in here so that I can enjoy writing and what not.  I'll do some site work in here as well.  My main computer is set up in the Family room, which was the other renovation we did in the last 3 years.  We converted a covered porch into the family room.  It's all windows.  Perfect place to work most of the day until the sun swings around and then you have to close some of the blinds or get blinded by the sun (on those rare occasions the snow stops and the gray clears).
    I'm in the mancave at the moment taking a break from moving things.  I'm hoping by the end of the week, that things settle down and I can start work on my new normal.  The new job starts next Monday.  I figure by May, I'll get my routine all settled again and instead of so many trips on weekends, they'll be more open to doing site stuff and getting into a regular writing routine.
    I'll be on at weird times this week as I pop on and off between sorting and organizing my disaster.
  8. Myr

    Nintendo Switch

    By Myr,


    Gaming
    Sorry this is late.  It's been a heck of week trying to catch up from that annoying downtime with the internet.
    Anyway, I picked up a Nintendo Switch on a whim.  This is probably my midlife crisis.  I'll be picking up a Playstation 4 Pro in a few weeks. lol.
     
    Anyway, for my 41st birthday, I picked up a Nintendo Switch so I can relive my youth playing Mario and Zelda.  And Donkey Kong.  And probably Kirby too.
     
    It's definitely a cute little toy and I seriously doubt I'll ever mess with it much undocked.  Do you guys have one?  What games do you like?
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