Krista

My goodness that's a horrid picture. It is very unsettling as a Reds fan that's, to be fair only been a Reds fan because of Joey Votto, but still. Horrendous, my goodness.

Yeah, Trace has said Joel is a miracle, but I don't think Joel felt that he was one to them. Now I think, after seeing that much conviction and what that night and having Joel there meant to Trace, it can sink it. Surely it will. The boy is hurting, but he's not completely blind to the world around him. Davin and Joel felt one another out a bit more when they had that argument. They didn't leave it to fester, even after Davin left and came back, they still allowed for the conversation to happen instead of separating and letting all of that fall back into their minds to bottle up. Lacey did show maturity. She wants so much to be involved, and maybe she doesn't understand the purpose of the ride being more than just a tour, but she took it with more grace than I've seen a lot of kids these days her age would have taken it. And she got over it and didn't hold it against her father or Joel. But Joel has to feel guilty, I do wonder if he is feeling guilty enough to get back on a horse though? Choices, allowing choices that you know you shouldn't put weight on, still have their weight can be very cumbersome. He's still looking back, but most of him is telling him that he shouldn't be.

Gavin is about as subtle as a neon sign. But yeah, he tried that method, didn't he? To be 100% honest, that comment about stepping in shit when he overheard their attitudes about being interrupted mid-conversation, I was like... Oh crap, he said that. So yeah, even with me Gavin's mouth runs away for a bit. Davin has hinted as the possibility of Gavin knowing a few times. One time he says, "he probably does know about me, or has a clue..." or something along those lines. It may just be Davin working through his own thought processes about his own sexuality and how he wants people to know. But yeah, that response from Gavin should have opened their eyes a bit. That's something you don't say to friends who are caught bickering. You'd say something like, "Fucking hell dudes, come on and get over your bullshit." Not awkwardly saying, "Damn, did I step in shit?" That's what guys would say if they walked in and saw their poor friend getting scolded by his woman. And yeah... New phone. Ick. New truck. Ick. Sigh. He must really feel like he's been a burden on these people...

He needs to take more than baby steps, he's walking through this like a toddler or if Trace was talking, like a foal learning where its legs are. He takes tentative steps forward, then stumbles off balance backwards. So bold steps need to happen only after he finds his feet. But with anything, if you make a bold decision, it will be loud. He ran from a team that were welcoming to him, seemingly. He has to know what that's going to look like.

Yeah, Joel venting did open the door to better understanding him and what he needs from them. Although, they were on the right track already it seems, it was Joel not being open to accepting what they are offering. It might be because he's still too scared to reach for it as well. He's had it ripped out from under him once already, there has to be a part of him waiting for that shoe to drop again. Maybe after this talk, he will understand just how committed they all are to him. Yes... even Colt... maybe? It is a heavy thought. It's one that's not easily overcome either. He thinks he wants safe, different, and easy. The same, "I'm just quiet, but straight, don't look at me..." sort of lie that's been the foundation of his whole life since he figured himself out... is upsetting him a little now. He's 'tired' of the lies, but he's the one that placed them there. We just don't know if he's willing to start leaving them behind. An only Joel and Davin is invited camping trip... hmm.

hmm... I don't know if that would fly with the league requirements, but it would be interesting. And embodying his personality.. 😮

Yes, but we're talking about a kid that's having to step into the clothes of his rivals, and in high school where that decision is probably only made 'after' it is forced on them. Which in Joel's case we know that it is. Still, it is something that will happen many times over, just hopefully not so abruptly and with a lot of trauma and baggage attached.

Them not giving up on him is a good thing. Yes. But, I do have an answer on how much of the writing is still left to be posted as I finally did the math. It is less than 60k. Which is a Yikes and a half. A bigger yikes knowing that the last chapter is 25k of that. Didn't think we were in the home stretch, did we?

Yes, a good lesson. But it is still one learned just a little bit too early. I don't know how good I've made him really. I might have underestimated the batting averages some of these high school guys have going for them in the writing. I did a little bit of a research after it was brought to my attention that they were a bit low. Then I sneakily went back in and changed that rating to a lot higher... but now I'm thinking I've put him far too high up with that average that 'any' college in the country would drool over him. Sneaky as I am clueless, would I be a mouse that never makes it down the tunnel to where the cheese is, I'm thinking it is rather possible.

Yeah, they're talking. There were a lot of things brought to the table and fleshed out a bit. A lot was still left in the air too. But, at least they came to the table. Are they good for one another? They both seem to not know what they're doing, but they do enjoy the kissing...

Yes, Trace let him get it out the way Joel wanted. He didn't stop the tide of things by telling him to check his language. Sometimes the release is better than the words they used in doing so. When all you want to do is wash their mouths out with soap afterwards. They both seem a bit loose with small swear words here and there. Celia corrects them more, and yeah, if Celia was on her horse beside them, Trace would maybe cough and nod in her direction, or Joel would know better and not use some of his words of choice. And Trace didn't allow him to settle into old thoughts either, that would make the conversation more circular. He told him to calm down and move forward, it was so gentle that it might have actually worked this time? And, we don't know how stubborn Davin is... maybe he is a bit stubborn. Joel is too, though.

Yes, maybe in fiction. Anything done on your own terms, you have to be able to live through the consequences. Trace has promised to 'fight like hell' but a lot of what Trace would want to do, would be out of his hands. He can support him and accept him through it all, fight battles alongside him, but he can't protect him from everything. That's what I struggle with as a parent. The... "I can't take all the punches..." I would if I could. It doesn't do people any good to be sheltered either, though. Not knowing how the world works is a whole other set of struggles and hiding that from them doesn't do them any favors. It hurts either way.

Yeah, Gavin already shot that word right at him, didn't he? Although coming from him, it's not going to sting. The start of the conversation was circular, but that might be expected as the same frustrations were still needling away at Joel. They might still. Feeling like a burden doesn't really go away just because nice people say you're not a trouble. I say that just to be polite, when it was a bit of a bother. But at least what Joel has going for him, is that he had no other choice in the matter. He's a 'burden' because Trace couldn't live with himself if he left him standing on the bridge. There's still a disconnect there. But, maybe this talk put a lot of that to bed. Sometimes knowing you have people standing behind you, it might give you all the strength you need. Joel has to believe it though, that's the only way it will work.

The coach would probably get into a lot of trouble spending the budget funds for an unknown of that nature. And what number would he put on the damn thing? Joel gave him nothing, but his sizes. And...

Now the boy said that he thought it was a stupid idea, give him a little credit. Does that mean he's going to stop running? Who knows... one of these days, hopefully. I'm thinking that he is well off the ledge of that cliff, not knowing what he wants. Maybe a bit too far, to where I may need to apologize for that? And yes, very helpful in that discussion as well, but at least that discussion felt more normal for a teenage guy that might be over being fussed over about birthdays at least. They should have called and asked Cody, he would've given them more to work with...

I really liked this talk with Trace when I wrote it. I felt the impact of it when I read it over in the complete chapter and I saw the whole picture. How we learned the impact of Joel landing into their life really impacted them. It wasn't how Joel thought really. Where he saw burden, Trace saw miracle. Although he's said that in the past, maybe this time seeing and knowing the extent of all that, it will settle in to something more than just words being said aloud. I'm not sure Trace was saying that he needed to come out. Maybe thinking that some of his frustrations were due to him being 'tired of not being himself,' that doesn't really mean coming out. It may just mean getting back to himself and in a better place 'before' the bridge. And that he's finally safe to put more into himself than he might have been able to even before that night. That if it comes back and explodes all around him, that instead of being pushed out of the door with just the clothes on his back, that he's safe to come home and they'd fight for him. That the option is there and always will be. I personally wouldn't want Trace pressuring Joel to come out, he knows Joel isn't ready for that and it isn't a path that Trace has to walk, but Joel does.

Traffic buzzed by me more often than I thought it would as I walked along the ditch. Every now and then I had to step up onto the shoulder to avoid a muddy patch or brackish water. It wasn’t deep, nothing but flat ground was out here. No one stopped or slowed to ask who I was and where I was headed. I picked a random direction as I ran at full speed and didn’t stop until I was well off campus and out of sight of it. After stopping to double over and catch my breath, I was now sweaty and wished I

I think you gave Colin the best send-off of his original life. It was sad to see him love Harry who only had a flash of remembrance of him. The question hanging between him and you the author is an interesting one. One would think the easy answer, the one hovering in the back of his mind would always be, 'yes,' that he'd take it. There's this cliche thought of, "If I knew how this would end, I'd do it anyway..." but there is a burden with such a conviction that you touched on, because what we know he endured was short-lived and unrequited and there's no guarantee that a second chance would change any outcome. He seemed resolved to that being all he was ever going to get, but that was still a place where he wished to inhabit. So, the follow-up would, if you do not wish to alter history that is Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, then you will have to give Colin a story that grows past Harry Potter. Which, it very well could have naturally if he was given the chance stolen from him to mature into himself a bit more. First crushes die messy. So, maybe Colin can survive both of those battles if you wish to continue. Otherwise, this was a nice end of his story, there is enough weight in his memories for him to say, 'no.'

Aww thank you, for saying the shoes fit a bit. It does put my mind at ease. And yeah, I shouldn't have said life long, since sexuality can be rather fluid for a lot of people. And we all have those odd crushes.. I mean bless him, but Ed Sheeran had millions of people that would fling themselves at him, but I never saw the appeal. And I'm not going to list my embarrassing crushes because they're god awful. I will always admit to Joey Votto though, my goodness.

And Auntie Marnie, who isn't related to anyone in the county overheard talk of a stray young boy walking along the roadside looking up to no good. Then she ran into her bridge club members Janey Lee and Rachel Plum and they discussed the possibility of hoodlums running amok all over the country. Only because they had never seen him around 'these parts' before based on the thorough description from Old Sherriff Ron, who has already been called and told about it, even though he's been retired for over twenty years. Yes... small towns.

I didn't know they outright paid, but it makes sense. I would.

That she does...

😮 Rude!

No one should be outed, not in any stage of their life to people they're not ready, or will never be ready to come out to. People tend to know who they can trust and who they can't with that type of information. I cannot stand people saying, "It is 2025 who the fuck still needs to be in the closet?" Lots of people. It may not be as bad as it was decades ago, but that doesn't give anyone a right to judge people who still feel safer and more relaxed not coming out to people they don't feel safe with. And yes, my friends have told me they would have stayed in the closet to keep friends that they cherished and lost in doing so. Because they loved them. They were outed, both of them and against their will. It was something that took them a lot of time to come back from, and neither of them fully came back from everything they lost. I'll never be on the side of that.