Wayne Gray

July 21, 1993 Wednesday, 10 AM So this is why you're acting so off. No, man. Just no. We're talking about this right now. July 21, 1993 Wednesday, 120 PM Well, that was a fun way to be told I'm wrong. I'll back up to this morning, though. Mark and I got up and got to work pretty much immediately - taking advantage of the early light and great weather. I got another three panels on the roof, bringing us up to fourteen, while he toiled away on the fence. About an hour after we starte

It was fun to talk about the story. Thanks, astone!

Here's one I saw that made me crack the hell up.

I'm glad you both have Dan in your lives, Mike. Without him, it'd be easy to believe that voice ... the one telling you that it was your fault. Without him, maybe you're right, and tim wouldn't be there. Everything tim tells me about this man makes me happy he has found you both. Because it wasn't your fault. It wasn't tim's either. It happened through stress and chemistry, and it's a trial - one you're all getting through together. Don't worry about why you're here writing this. It doesn't matter. You have, it's here, and that's all. That's your right. That said, I believe there's strength in reflection. In looking at things you'd rather forget and making them known in the hope that maybe someone else can take solace from knowing your struggle. tim is my friend, and he belongs with You, and now Dan too. Though it means nothing, there's no place I'd rather he be than with you two. Congratulations on your program. I won't speak for tim, but when he tells me about it, I can see the pride between the words. Good luck to your Dad and your family, Mike. And anytime any of you guys need anything, you know how to find me.

I do not envy dental pain. I've only had one problem with my teeth, and it was awful. I do not recommend a cracked molar to anyone. Hang in there, tim!

I'm sorry for the need of a distraction, but happy I could provide one. I hope you're doing all right, kbois. You're right about our pair of guys. They're finding a nice distraction in one another. Now ... if they could just figure out how to deal with their relative guilt about needing a distraction. That'll take a moment of reckoning, and someone will need to initiate it. Right now, we have to wonder if either is capable of that, but we'll see. Thanks for the well wishes and for reading. See you next chapter. 🙂

Only for The Gays. oh … wait …

Man … what I’d give to be able to eat whatever I wanted. 😕 That’s a super power!

They are. You're absolutely right. And I am with you - they have found something nice in one another, magnified by the horribleness of their surroundings. The smallest light is visible from a great distance when it's darkest. Though they might be adapting to their new world, that process is painful. So yes, if they can get over their guilt, they're going to wring every bit of comfort from each other they can. Thanks for reading and commenting, Dave! I appreciate it.

Thanks for saying so. I like this spin on the genre, and I'm going to continue in a similar fashion. I agree - it is sad when even something as nice as sex and love engenders feelings of guilt. Particularly when it's the only spot of happiness either of these guys might have for a while. You're right in that these guys need each other. Yeah, those needs vary, and the intensity ebbs and flows depending on the day and what has happened. But that need won't go away. They're linked by their circumstances, and both are leaning harder on that connection. There's more to come. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Thank you, tim. I feel for them too. There's guilt, desire, a need for comfort, plain ole hormones, terror at the state of the world, and more. I can't begin to imagine how I'd deal with this situation myself - I think they're doing pretty well, considering. But it's still going to be hard going. The Last of Us (series) is phenomenal. I didn't want to like it, but it's great. And at the hidden part ... LOL I'm trying to do something a little different with this zombie tale. I'm approaching it like I did Silverwolf - I want things to look familiar to those with experience in the genre, but tweak just a few things here and there to make it my own. We'll see how I do. 🙂

Where's the fun in that? 😛 I'm kidding. Yes, these two need to actually talk to each other. Maybe Mark doesn't even know why he allowed things to go where they did. Maybe he's horny and wanted to try. Maybe he's terrified of being alone and wanted to add one more thing Wayne would miss if he left. But Wayne will never know which until they talk to each other. Wayne could tell Mark wasn't himself. That's his big issue with what happened. He knew Mark was vulnerable, and though he kept checking in with him, he feels like he took advantage of his friend. That's a kick in the gut. When you've got alarms going off, but you ignore them because you're getting something you've dreamed of for years. Thanks for reading and for the comment. More to come!

You're right - sex can certainly screw things up, and Wayne is terrified that he has allowed that to happen. Heh. Yeah. You never know who is going to take charge in the bedroom, and you never know who's going to top vs receive. Those are different things, by the way - Wayne just happened to take on both aspects in this particular coupling. As for the way Wayne feels about the whole substitute thing - I think it'd be hard NOT to feel that way, considering what he has been through so far in life. But we'll have to see how that goes. There's a two-acre clearing around the house. It had already been partially fenced, and now they're working to fully enclose it. So, yes ... it's a big area to fence in. But they're motivated to get it done since so much of their safety depends on it. And they are close to finishing it (relative to the whole fence project). Maybe you're right about the note. But Mark can't do anything else. He had to try, and Wayne knew it. Though Wayne hasn't said so in the journal, he had the same thoughts as you. I'm happy you enjoyed it. I'm excited again for the tale. Thanks for reading/commenting!

July 20, 1993 Tuesday, 945 AM Okay. We're home now. He doesn't want to admit how much the stress of the last few days has affected him, but I can see it. We've also not said a word about what happened last night or how we woke up with him spooning me. I guess I'll wait for him to talk since I don't know what the hell to say. But … at least now I know why going to town was such a big deal for him. We got up early and loaded the van with our gas can and the two others we found in Bob's shed

I know. I took a break because of The Last of Us. That show mirrored my plot so close, I had to stop and reconsider my story entirely. But I'm about half way through my next chapter now that I've redirected. It's really wild though - I knew nothing about the plot of The Last of Us before I planned and started my story. And it was seriously close to my own story. Too close.

Yes - I can attest that tim has a deep, commanding cake-shaped hole in his heart.

Thank you! I’m making sure to reply here thanks to the comment about dialogue. When I write, I speak every word of dialogue aloud. It helps hearing it. It forces me to write something the character would actually say. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.

That tie-in will happen down the line. Admittedly, it's pretty far down the line (around chapter 21, I think?). This is a romance, for sure. There's a bit of suspense here and there, but it's mainly a romance. Thanks for giving it a spin!

Hehe. Well, they need comfort, particularly Mark. And he is finding it in Wayne. I’m glad you’re enjoying that aspect of their connection. Thanks for reading!

It’s hard to imagine a way she isn’t. Mark held on to hope, but after hearing the announcement, he’s trying to accept she’s gone. Right now, these guys need each other. That seems to have gained a sexual aspect now, adding to the tactile way they’ve interacted since this began. I’m glad you’re enjoying them. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

It is pretty sad. Reality is settling in, and it’s ugly. Concerning human on human violence, see my comments above. Thanks for reading, Dave!

Haha. If you’re looking for “science” behind them, look up the cordiceps fungus and the effects it causes in arthropods. These critters stop eating. They obey the fungus, using up their stored energy in doing so. They can do this because they don’t spend a lot of energy. They move slowly, and they’ve stopped doing the energy intensive things others of their species do. Now, the zombies are different. They DO eat. They feed on the dead, animals, fallen of their own kind, etc. But even if they didn’t, they can lay down and exist that way in a barely perceptive state for months, maybe even years. We’ve yet to see kids or pets. Or maybe they’ve just not been able to write about them. We’re dealing with a narrator with feelings, so he might have omitted the worst he’s seen, in an attempt to forget. Or maybe they just haven’t seen them yet. A full on farm would be a noisy enterprise - one way too difficult to defend by themselves. But we’ll have to see what they get up to. Thanks for reading. 🙂

Ah, interesting comments. Mark hung on to hope for Elizabeth. He needed to. But on hearing how widespread the event is, Mark began to accept she’s gone. And that did something to his resolve to avoid more with Wayne. He didn’t really think about it, but his resistance was just gone. Remember - they’re certain the other will eventually see their comments in the book. Do they always tell the whole truth? Did Wayne when it came to his thoughts around Elizabeth’s chances? They're steadily working on the infrastructure. Wayne didn’t write it, but Mark was the one insisting they go to town. He’s not sure why it’s so important, but it sure seems to be. I’ll confess something that may inform an important aspect moving forward - I DESPISED when TWD moved from being about zombies to being about how horrible people become when presented with an overwhelming crisis. It’s the same reason I hated Lord of the Flies, and I won’t add to that sort of literature. Take that how you will. you’re right about things getting hard. And I mean more than the innuendo version of that … Thanks for reading!

Thanks, kbois. It’s gotta be hard to figure out what is due to the situation and what has always been there. Even though Mark said he’d never thought of Wayne that way, it could be he just hadn’t recognized it until now. Or it could be totally initiated by the apocalypse happening around them. We may find out. That line is a funny one, but one considered possible by Wayne. He never thought Mark would be interested in him beyond being a friend. So … he does wonder.