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Graeme

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Everything posted by Graeme

  1. While I appreciate Olo's comment about twin names, unfortunately I know from experience that too many parents really do give twins similar names. Longer chapters would be good, but write them to the length that you're happy with. There's no "right" length. What's more important is that the chapters contain what you want them to contain As for this chapter, I really thought Conrad and Parker were going to reveal the twin's secret. Josh really does have something to be concerned about, after Conrad's comment. The question is if Parker remembers what was said when he's sober, or if one of his mates remembers and reminds him later..
  2. Graeme

    Chapter 13

    Thank you! I haven't had a chance to bring the Sydney Swans into the story since they're not involved with the VFL, but I'm not ignoring them. As for my so-called intimate knowledge of the game, I have to confess that I'm not a football fanatic. I've been doing a huge amount of research for this story, and I've paid more attention to what is going on during the season than I ever had before. I've also been buying and reading various books on the AFL, including a number of biographies. I've learnt a lot in the process! I only know of two gay footballers, both at the district level. One, Jason Ball, I've met briefly, though we've exchanged a few emails. He invited me along to the inaugural Pride Cup that he was involved in (you can find photos in my gallery). While I'm sure there are gay footballers at both the VFL and AFL level, I don't know of any. Jason, however, has been great. He sent me a link to a radio interview with the ex-boyfriend of an AFL player. No names (and no team) were mentioned, but I think we can take it as given that there are gay players in the AFL. And, yes, I hope the AFL does more than lip service towards the eliminate of homophobia. The AFL Players Association is strongly behind the push, so hopefully the AFL will, too.
  3. Graeme

    Meeting Snow

    An intriguing start. Lots of possibilities have been opened up as to what is going on and where the story goes from here. Well done!
  4. Here's a link to a list of Australian slang. Just be warned, some of this is dated or very regional. For example, while I recognise the term "Sheila", I've not heard it realistically used for probably two decades. It's a very old-fashioned word. Others on the list are in common use, while many are only occasionally used. It's a real mixture
  5. Graeme

    Chapter 13

    Jim remembers. He didn't want to mention Liam's name to Neil without permission, after all. He wouldn't do the reverse without Neil saying it was okay.
  6. Graeme

    Chapter 13

    Due to lack of practise, Neil's rather deficient in social skills. Hiding his crush was beyond him. As for Ty as vice captain, let's hope it doesn't end up on a TV show called "What were they thinking?!?":D
  7. Graeme

    Chapter 13

    “Dad, be careful.” Jim frowned at a serious-looking Ty, who was standing in the doorway to Jim’s bedroom. Jim had been getting ready for work when Ty had knocked on the door. “About what?” “About Neil. There’s something odd about that guy. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that he’s starting work at the same place you do?” Jim chuckled as he pulled on his shoes. “Do you think he’s stalking me? Don’t be ridiculous. Mr. O’Grady told me that Neil saw the ad for more staff in the window because
  8. Graeme

    The Bike

    Thank you! That's exactly how these started -- deciding to record some of the fun times I had with my family.
  9. Graeme

    Chapter 12

    Thank you! I sometimes wonder if I have too many characters, but I have to admit that I love the interactions between them. As you've said, the story is being carried by those interactions, so having fewer characters would mean less story.
  10. Graeme

    Story

    Thank you! There have been real-life cases of someone in a marriage going through a sex change. I don't think there's been a definitive ruling in the courts as to what it means, though.
  11. Graeme

    Story

    I generally try for a twist in my short stories. I don't always succeed, but I managed it with this one
  12. Thank you!
  13. Thank you! I doubt it'll become a classic, though. It's a little contrived.
  14. Graeme

    Chapter 12

    Thank you! It's unfortunate that Dave's psychologist has started with the anger and not the dreams. But unless Dave says something to him, the psychologist won't have a chance to make an appropriate evaluation. Interesting question regarding Neil. There's not much in the way of clues in the story so far, but given his fixation on Jim, it may be related to that. Ty was noticed the previous year, but was passed over because of his attitude problem. As Patrick said, the real question is whether the other AFL teams will detect the change.
  15. Graeme

    Chapter 12

    But...but...Alex hasn't done anything wrong! He's just made a new best friend. It's not his fault that Jim and Tony don't approve. After all, who gave them the right to decide whether Ty and Alex can be friends?
  16. Graeme

    Chapter 12

    Thank you! I'll admit that sometimes I wonder if I've bitten off too much with this story -- there's so much going on that trying to keep it all together can be a challenge. Comments like yours helps keep the writing flowing. Thanks again!
  17. Graeme

    Chapter 12

    “Dave Islington? I’m Dr. Karl Weisenburg. Come in and take a seat.” Dave dropped the magazine he had been perusing while waiting for his appointment and stood up. He followed the psychologist into his office and glanced around. Dave had expected to see the traditional movie’s psychiatrist couch, but all he saw were a couple of comfortable chairs, a small sofa, and, in the corner, a desk holding a few folders and a laptop. Dave took one of the chairs, sitting on its edge and leaning forward whi
  18. There's lots of reasons why he mightn't be there that have nothing to do with you As an example, I've just had five weeks away from my gym because of work and family commitments. Nothing to do with anyone who was there....
  19. Graeme

    Story

    LOL. You may look forward to it, but I'm not sure if the other people around them will agree
  20. I've been away for a couple of weeks and I missed this. Very sad news indeed My heart goes out to his family and friends.
  21. Graeme

    Chapter 11

    Jim heard the voices, but he couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. The sounds were intermingled with pleasant, and rather erotic, memories involving his boyfriend, but the tones didn’t match the memories. It was only when the voices stopped that Jim finally woke up. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up just yet.” Tony rolled out of the bed and stretched. “That was your alarm?” Jim asked as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He smiled while admiring the view of his naked boyfriend’s
  22. Graeme

    Chapter 10

    Thank you! Maybe all Neil needed was a friend...
  23. Graeme

    Chapter 10

    The next question is whether Neil takes Todd's advice....
  24. Graeme

    Chapter 10

    Tony was seated in the lounge room talking with Ty when Jim entered the Tenterfield Street house. Though still slightly self-conscious about showing signs of affection in front of others, Jim strolled across the room and leant over to give his boyfriend a light kiss on the lips. “Your room is that away, Dad.” Ty grinned as he pointed in the direction of the bedrooms. “Just make sure you close the door behind you. I don’t want to be scarred for life. Oh, and you’d better make it a quickie, becau
  25. Graeme

    Chapter 9

    Sorry, but Todd already has a fulltime job and career. He's an electrician who plays football and trains three times a week. The AFL is fully professional, though all players are encouraged to plan for after their football careers are over. I've seen conflicting statistics, but the average football career in the AFL is 4-7 years. The VFL, on the other hand, is only semi-professional. The players do not earn enough to survive if they only play football. This means that the players need to either have a job (fulltime or parttime) or they need someone to sponsor them. To give an example of the difference (and please remember that the VFL is the tier immediately below the AFL(, I checked some real club financial figures recently: VFL Club: Revenue around $800,000 AFL Club: Revenue around $57,000,000 There's a bit of a difference....
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