Wombat Bill

Castle Hill is more upmarket than Carlingford. I once lived in Carlingford and have never voted liberal.

It will be a real gift.

A few days later Thomas received a message from the pain lover, inviting him to go over for a meeting. Thomas had been half wishing that he would not hear any more about it, but here it was, an invitation to meet. His head said he should not do this but the mischievous devil in him told him to go for it. The devil won out, so he called, had a brief chat with Jared and set a date for a meeting. Jared’s house was in Leichhardt, about a twenty minute drive from the city, but much longer from Ca

EDWARD’S CHRISTMAS ROAST Edward sat at the head of the table and looked around at the assembled guests. To his right was his partner Romel. “What can I say about my beloved partner of fifteen beautiful years? He’s a dedicated nurse and I know how good he is because he regularly gives me a through internal examination with is instrument.” “Now Craig is also a nurse, but of course I can’t testify to his professional abilities in the ward. He can, however, give a very close shave... while on his knees. I would also recommend his cooking. For example,... his balls with leave you gagging... for more of his meatballs, of course. Then for dessert, you don’t want to miss his strawberry surprise with two types of cream. Justin is a man of many talents, all of them to do with sex. Oh, he claims to be a waiter, we all know that, but when he serves drinks he gives a whole new meaning to cocktails. His grapes you can pick yourself and... what’s those things served on a stick? Oh I know... kebabs. You haven’t tasted anything so tender, until you’ve had Justin’s stick of meat. Tristan, the dancer, so good he could dance his way into any man’s heart. But alas he has yet to bring anyone to this table. What is it Tristan, too many to choose from, too fussy; we’re certainly not here, we accept anyone here. Just look around the table at this motley bunch. However, when I ask him the question he just dances around the subject. Maybe he’s just, not in the mood. Raj, now here’s a spicy number amongst us. A little like Tristan, in that he has yet to swell our numbers here. But I know he was a swelling for another amongst us although unsuccessful in currying favour with him. Edward then stood and explained “My mum taught me to always stand for your elders, but god knows, there’s not many older than me, except our newest guests.” “Max, I have only known for a short time but in that time his work has literally been music to my ears. For those that may not know, Max is the host of the program Max’s Music Room. I can only describe Max as a classic himself. “Now Charles I also met recently at the radio station, but he hasn’t always been a radio producer. No, not at all, Charles has had a few jobs in his time. He started his career as a banker, then a computer analyst, a linen salesman, a fried chicken cook, a pizza maker, a cinema manager, a paymaster, a field support officer, a paint shop owner, a statistics collector, youth support officer, electoral polling officer, a video shop owner, a museum accounting officer, a social club manager, a travel company accountant, a cafe cook, a corner store owner, newsagent, farmstay host, writer...” Then Edward let the paper he was reading from, partly drop and unfold until it reached the floor. “Oh fuck it, that’s enough about Charles.” Edward sat down, then Charles stood up, raised his class and said “I would like to propose a toast to our gracious and entertaining host. Or should that be roast? I have only known Edward for a short time, but in that time I have grown to love him and sometimes not, often in the same day. But I’ve done my research and found out some of his past. He was once known on the gay mile as Ed-Weiner, the drag queen with a tongue sharp enough to cut lesbians into very tiny pieces. His day job is with Telstra, you know them, the company that’s fucked more people than anyone else in this nation. Edward then raised his glass and proposed “Happy times to everyone here. I love you all.” A SPECIAL BLESSING The four were sitting on the grass at Fair Day, when Justin said “Hey look over there guys, there’s a group of nuns. I don’t think this is the right place for them to be. They must have wandered into the park by mistake.” said Justin. Edward looked towards the nuns, then said to Justin “Oh they’re the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. They come every year to bless the fair. Why don’t you go up and ask for a personal blessing.” “I couldn’t do that, they might be offended by me just wearing shorts.” “No, not at all, I’m sure they’ll love you all the more for it.” “What?” “What I really mean is they will be flattered by you asking them for a blessing. That’s why they come.” “Ok, if you’re sure it’s all right.” As Justin went off to see the nuns, Craig said to Edward “You shouldn’t tease him so. He has no idea who they are.” “I know, isn’t it delicious.” Then Romel added “Craig’s right, this could be embarrassing.” “I certainly hope so.” replied Edward. “Anyway, what’s the worst that can happen? The nuns will get a bit of a thrill, Justin will feel good from their blessing and we’ll get a hell of a laugh when we explain it to him.” “Oh my God!” exclaimed Romel “He’s down on his knees.” “They must really like him. That’s their special blessing position.” One of the nuns was giving Justin her blessing by anointing him with lube and giving him her special sign of the cross. “Bless you my Son, In the name of the father.” as she touched his forehead. “In the name of The Son.” as she leaned over and touched his bulge. “And in the name of the Holy Ghost.” as she touched each nipple. “Now go in peace my son, and make your man happy.” “Thank you Sister.” Justin said goodbye to the nuns and returned to his friends, with a big smile. “Well, you got the sacred treatment my boy.” said Edward “Yes, they were very kind. Not like the nuns I remember from school.” “This order is known for their kindness, especially to good looking young men.” “But...Edward....I’m not sure they are real nuns.” “Really sweetie, what gave you that idea? Was it the deep voices, the five o’clock shadow or the glitter on their crucifixes?” “No, it was when Sister Fornicatia asked me if I wanted the blessing of the Blessed Vaginal Mary, or the special Australian blessing of the Teflon coated Pell. Do you think she meant bell?” “No Sweetie, she definitely meant Pell... of the Cardinal variety.”

Thomas Steadman sat at his desk browsing through the Star on line, the web version of Sydney’s gay newspaper, The Sydney Star Observer. He found himself reading the classifieds, for no particular reason, but when he got to the ‘others’ section he noticed an unusual advert “Do you like pain? Do you want to share with like-minded men? No Master and Slave roles, just the enjoyment of pain. Email painlover@gmail.com.au”. He had heard of BDSM but this was different and Thomas had sometimes fantasised

Not necessarily wealthy. That's the average price of a house in Sydney.

NINE YEARS AGO The naked body lay flat on the table, face up. Above the table was a high definition camera of such quality that even a single pore in the skin could be seen when the photographs were enlarged. The body was photographed front, back, both sides, top of head and soles of the feet. Every angle possible was used to ensure no external part of the body was missed. The young photographer stepped back from the equipment. Now that he was not concentrating on the technical side of h

After a second performance at Sydney Dance Company Justin and Craig were invited backstage by Tristan, met some of the other dancers and had a tour of the theatre and rehearsal studios. Justin noticed a sign about dance classes and asked Tristan what was the deal. Tristan reminded him that his subscription came with six free dance lessons and if he liked it he could then continue. Tristan told him that with his athletic body and general level of fitness he should find the dance lessons would sui

While Justin had become the star attraction of the catering events that did not mean that Craig’s food was not appreciated, although sometimes Craig felt otherwise. But he was relieved when he got a request to cater for a sit down dinner. Previously all engagements had been cocktail or pool parties with only finger food. Craig had the expertise to cater for formal dinners but rarely got the opportunity to do so. The booking was from an art gallery owner who was proposing to have a dinner as part

Forget Me Not Kevin and Steve tumbled into bed after a heavy night drinking. They made a clumsy attempt at sex, but when that failed they rolled together and slept soundly until just after sunrise. Kevin started tossing and turning so much it awoke Steve who looked towards Kevin, listened to his unintelligible mutterings and became concerned by his increasingly frantic movements. “Hey buddy, what’s happening?” Steve asked as he shook Kevin awake. “Mmm...what...oh this is terrible.” “What is?” “This disease that’s spreading around the world, killing millions of people, including my Gran. I miss her so much.” “Sorry about your Gran, but I think you’re just dreaming.” “Dreaming? No, we all have to be careful not to get infected.” “Your dream must have been a rough one with all that thrashing around.” Kevin looked at Steve and asked “Hey, who are you?” “I told you my name last night, I’m Steve.” “Steve...wait...I don’t think you are; at least you’re not my Steve.” “That’s true. I don’t think a one night stand makes me yours, but my Mum calls me Steve, so must be.” “Where am I, whose bed is this?” “My flat and my bed. Don’t you remember last night?” “Last night, what about last night? Hey where’s my phone?” “Probably on the floor somewhere, you were so keen last night you peeled off your clothes as soon as we were through the door.” Kevin crawled around amongst a jumble of discarded jeans, jocks and shirts till he found his phone. With trembling hands he just managed to select phone book then swiped down to G, selected the number and pressed call. “Hello, can I help you?” “Who’s this” he demanded “I want to speak to my Gran.” “Well what a rude young man you seem to be. As you made the call I think it is incumbent upon you to identify yourself first.” “I’m Kevin and I want to speak to Gran.” “You’re Kevin, Daniel’s boy?” “Daniel...oh yes, now why are you answering Gran’s phone what’s happened to her?” “Nothing Kevin, she’s in the bathroom, she shouldn’t be long. In the meantime I think it’s appropriate for me to introduce myself. I’m Candida, your aunt, well a cousin actually.” “Do I know you?” “I’m your grandmother’s niece, cousin of your father so that makes us second cousins.” “I don’t care who you are I just want to talk to Gran.” “Won’t be long, I can hear the bowl flushing now. Wait up sweetie.” After a short delay he heard “It’s for you Beryl, Kevin your grandson, is he always so rude and wound up.” “That’s not like Kevin.” Beryl took the phone and said “Hello Kevin, Gran here, what’s wrong?” “Oh Gran you are alive.” “Yes Kevin, I’m alive, what did you expect? Sorry there won’t be any will reading today.” “What... oh no I didn’t mean that, it’s just that I thought you died from this deadly virus spreading around the world.” “No I didn’t die, I’m safe and sound here and Candida is staying with me for a while. She’s just come back to Australia after twenty years away, I barely recognised.” A confused Kevin said “That’s nice Gran... I’ll go now that I’m assured you’re well. We’ll talk later. Bye Gran.” As he hung up he looked at the stranger he slept with, who said “I couldn’t help overhearing, but that was a strange conversation, from this side anyway.” “Yeah, I don’t know what’s happening. I feel like I’m in the middle of a pandemic thing and I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.” “I did warn you against taking those pills last night. You don’t know what they were.” “I don’t take pills.” “You did last night, just about everyone in your party did. Damn fools playing Russian roulette with unknown substances. You’re all mad. Now while you get your gear on, I’ll make some coffee, unless ya wanna pick up where we left off last night. I don’t think we got very far, you just went all limp, not just your dick.” “Yeah whatever, I think I’ll take the coffee option, thanks all the same.” Kevin dressed, followed the smell of the coffee to the small kitchen and perched on a bar stool. “There you go, get that inta ya, will make you feel more human.” “Thanks, now tell me how did we meet?” “You really did get wiped out, didn’t ya? I was the stripper for your party at the Bottoms Up Bar.” “What party?” “It was a graduation party for your arty farty friends.” “I’ve graduated, I suppose that’s good, but can’t remember it...Stripper?... My brother is supposed to the stripper at that bar.” “Who’s your brother?” “Ah...Jason.” “He’s not a stripper, he’s the bar manager. In fact he owns the bar. Although, now that you mention it, I think he told me he used to strip before he bought the bar.” “He owns the bar?” “I thought you said he was your brother.” “He is, but I don’t remember him buying the bar.” “So tell me more about this dream of yours, sounds scary.” “But it doesn’t seem like a dream to me, it still feels real. There is this virus, came from China and spread around the world to every country. Millions infected and so many people died. They just can’t stop it spreading.” “Sounds like a sci-fi movie plot. So how does it end?” “I don’t know, it’s still going on as far as I know.” “No...you’re awake now, so it’s ended.” “Hey there was one funny thing happened. Donald Trump was the president of the US.” “That rich guy from the apprentice show? What a hoot.” “Yeah so I suppose it must have been a dream.” “That must have been some seriously hallucinatory shit you swallowed last night.” But Kevin wasn’t listening, he was deep in thought. “Wait...did you say what a hoot?” “Yeah, means fun, lots of laughs and such.” “I know what it means. Steve says that.” “Yeah, I’m Steve and I just said it.” “No, the other Steve, I think he’s my boyfriend.” Kevin watched the images in his head for a few moments then picked up his phone, went to S in his phone book, swiped down a bit then asked. “Did you give me your number last night?” “I don’t think so, why, do you want it now.” “No, I’ve already got it, unless....” “Unless what?” “Where’s your phone.” “Here in my pocket.” “Just wait while I call this number...The number’s ringing but your phone’s not ringing.” “Hello my man. I was about to call you again, been leaving messages all day.” “Is this Steve?” “Of course, my voice probably sounds a bit different over the satellite connection.” “Where are you Steve?” “London, I’m on a three day layover, but I told you that.” “Oh...yes...I must have forgotten.” he lied. “Anyway, how are the preparations going?” “Preparations?” “For our big day. Sorry to leave you with all this. I told them I didn’t want any long haul this month, but when Jeremy’s wife went into premature labour he stood down and I was on standby.” “Yes, of course.” he answered, but the image of Steve’s explanation was still not focussed in Kevin’s mind. “London’s just so beautiful this time of year. Wish you were here to see it. The roses are in bloom everywhere, the old buildings are a honey colour in the spring sunshine and even the Thames glistens in the midday sun. I can see the eye from my hotel room; I know you’d just love it. Hey, I know, we’ll come here for our honeymoon. It might be a delayed honeymoon by the time we make arrangements, but we’ll do it, hey!” “Honeymoon?...yes of course.” “Kevin, you sound a bit vague, are to all right?” “Just tired and a bit hung over. Apparently I had a big night last night at our graduation party.” “Apparently?” “I don’t remember much of it.” “Why don’t you take some Panadols and sleep it off.” “Yeah, might do that.” “I have to go now, the shuttle will be here soon and I haven’t even packed. I’ll be home Tuesday morning, Sydney time. Can’t wait to give you a big hug. Love you.” “Yes... love you too... bye.” “So?” asked Steve. “Yes, that was my boyfriend Steve... he’s in London...I think he’s a flight steward...he’ll be home soon...we have a big day coming up... I think I’m getting married.” “You think you’re getting married?” “I’m not sure of anything at present. Just can’t get my head around who I am, where I am. One minute I’m in school, the next I’ve graduated from college. My Gran’s dead and then she’s not. My boyfriend is just doing his HSC and then he’s in London. What’s happening to me?” “I think the first thing you need is to get some food and water into your system and try to neutralise whatever that shit was you took last night. Why don’t you make some eggs and toast for us. Everything you need is in the fridge. While you do that, I’ll call a friend of mine. He’s a nurse at a drug rehab centre and usually knows what’s going around town.” “You think it’s the drugs?” “Unless you have some other condition you’re not telling me about, then that’s my best guess.” Kevin busied himself with preparing the breakfast and had it ready just as Steve returned to the kitchen. “Well, I think we may have the answer to your problem. I just spoke with Will from Odyssey House. He always has his ear to the ground getting all the latest info on the drug scene. It seems there’s a new one circulating in Sydney. It’s a synthetic drug they call, forget me not, on the streets. They don’t know too much about it, but from reports they have it gives you an extreme high and a sense of euphoria while awake. Then when sleeping you have extremely vivid and convincing dreams. When users wake up they are usually convinced that their dream is reality, as you seem to be experiencing. They also suffer from memory loss of recent events, like a temporary amnesia.” “How long does this amnesia last?” “About three days before the memory returns to normal, but comes back in flashes when something familiar triggers a memory.” “Like when you said ‘what a hoot’ it reminded me of my boyfriend.” “Yes, and when I said I was a stripper, it reminded you of your brother. By the way, he’s a great guy. He runs the bar really well, takes no nonsense from drunks or bullies, but if you do your job he’s a top boss.” “Thanks, I’ll tell him that.” “Now the other problem with this substance is they don’t know if there will be any long term effects. Because this drug is so new they haven’t been able to do much research on it. But if what you took is the drug Will is talking about then you should be clear in a few days.” “Thanks for doing that Steve. I would have been more of a mess without your help.” “I’m glad you were here for me to help and to get Will’s expert advice. Speaking of which, do you want me to arrange an appointment for you to speak to a users’ support counsellor?” “Thanks anyway, but I’m not a user and I don’t want this on record... Now that you mentioned counsellor... I’m getting a memory that my father is a counsellor of some sort.” “Well that’s good, will you talk to your father about it?” “Probably not, if I were to seek help it should be from a stranger, but it sounds like I’ll be ok.” “By the way, great scrambled eggs, what’s your secret, they taste much better than mine.” “I don’t know if it’s a secret recipe or wether I just made it up from what was available. For what it’s worth as a recipe, I put in cheese and a little of that prepared mild mustard.” “Ah that’s the taste I couldn’t identify. I’ll remember that tip, cheese and mustard. Now tell me more about your dream.”

Justin’s birthday was in late March and this was his first since they had met. Craig decided to treat Justin to dinner at a special restaurant that was normally beyond his budget, but as this was a special occasion Craig decided to splurge just this once. To make it especially romantic, Craig had requested a booth in the back of the restaurant and it was just the two of them. While they were waiting for dessert to arrive, Craig gave Justin his birthday gift. He slipped across the table a sma

Also at Mardi Gras Fair Day were Romel and Edward. They had arranged to meet Craig and Justin for lunch but before, did some exploring of their own. Edward was on the lookout for possible interview subjects and stopped at many of the stalls for a brief chat with the operators and gave his card to those he thought were possibilities. As they approached the 2GAYfm stall Edward heard his own voice doing a promo for his drag program ‘Hello Sweetie’ As well as running a stall, the station was br

In mid-February in Sydney, the Mardi Gras festival starts. Justin had not previously attended Mardi Gras, although Craig had attended many events since he was 16. They went through the Mardi Gras program together and marked the items they wished to attend. As it was Justin’s first then it was a must that they should attend the party and the parade at the end of the festival. They purchased tickets for pre-booked events, and attended some others such as Fair Day. This was a long running event tha

This surprised even me. People from India have long been in Australia and are generally well accepted as part of the Commonwealth family, but we do love the opportunity to whip their arses at cricket. It seems there are more examples of racism in Melbourne than in Sydney. Maybe we;re just a bit more cosmo in Sydney. However there is another side to reporting of racism. That is - if a non white, or non Anglo is attacked, it's reported as racism. If a white/Anglo is attacked it's reported as just what it is, a violent crime.

I'm sure it was only the drugs talking

I always felt I was born ten years too late. I have always loved Big Band music but grew up in the era of Rock n Roll, and never got to experience a Big Band live.

Oh, there will be more

A few days later Romel spoke to Raj and was surprised to hear that he had a cousin from India here on a study visa. He did not have a phone number for him but gave his name to Romel so he could contact him through the student union at the University of Technology. Romel passed this information onto Edward and let him take it from there. Edward emailed the student union and asked them to pass on a message to Anish Gupta. He gave them his name, reason for contact and phone number. But, instead

Charles and Edward continued to work on the proposal for the program and thought they had come up with some great ideas. They prepared a written submission for the committee, but Charles was keen on a verbal presentation to the committee, followed by questions and then handing over the written proposal at the end. When they felt confident with their proposal they set a date for the official presentation. Edward was introduced to each member of the committee during pre-meeting drinks and then

Over dinner the four laughed a lot about the day’s events on the beach. Alex and James were feeling grown up, now that they had attracted some girls with their beach antics. “We want to thank you cuz for getting us started on the weights and all your advice about the exercises. We probably won’t get to look like you but at least we can already draw some babes on the beach.” “I’m glad I could help. Straight or gay, doesn’t matter, everybody likes muscles.” “And tits,” added James. “Ye

There was a connection between drag queens and classical music in Chapter 12. Watch out for a different definition of Philistine in chapter 65

That's the second comment I've had today about my chapters being pieces of a puzzle. Interesting thought. I do try to leave my readers wanting more, so without being conscious of it maybe that's what I'm doing. Thanks for the comment.

After brunch on Boxing Day the boys set off for the drive north to Forster. They arrived late in the afternoon and were welcomed by Justin’s aunts Julia and Hannah. Then Justin introduced his cousins Alex the elder one and James. The next morning Justin suggested that he and Craig could take his cousins out for the day and give the girls a bit of time alone. Everyone liked this idea. They planned to spend the morning in town, have lunch there and then go to the beach. Over lunch Craig realised h

Summerabbacat, why don't you do some writing, you are so good with words. You make this old wanna be drag queen feel good about his writing. We seem to have similar taste in pop music.

There are no plans for Oliver to be seen again. But you make a good point about maybe getting a serve from Edward. Who knows?