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Summerabbacat

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  1. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 7

    It was wonderful to read “our Kylie” made another appearance in this chapter @James Carnarvon, albeit very briefly, so briefly I think even you were likely unaware of it. “Like… I want you to keep going,” Giacomo replied, squirming slightly beneath his touch. He sighed, then wrapped an arm around Daniele’s back and pulled him forward until their foreheads were touching. “I know this is mad. I mean, I’ve really tried to, but… I just can’t get you out of my head.” Similarly, to a number of my fellow readers, I thought Emilia’s treatment of Luca totally unfair. Surprisingly, it was primarily Laura, who “set her straight”. Speaking of Laura, she was a combination of friendly and haughty spoilt princess in her interaction with Dani in particular. Any concerns Dani had of her and Giacomo rekindling their “summer romance” should have been quashed with Laura’s rudeness towards Giacomo and then his dismissal of her. Shade much. Wonderful. Giacomo continues to confound and confuse. His intentions appear genuine, and they likely are, however, I still think him fickle, something which I believe would be harmful to Dani, given he is so kind-hearted and sincere. I have to say for the first time I can ever recall Dani disappointed me in this chapter @James Carnarvon. “Patrizia arrived back from work a short while later with the promise of tagliatelle alla Bolognese for dinner. She retreated to the upstairs suite for a bath and a short breather, then got straight to work on the ragú which, cooked the traditional Italian way, required time and patience. Soon, the house was alive with the savoury scent of onions, carrots, celery and garlic frying in butter. When Daniele and Giacomo got tired of hanging out in his bedroom, they played cards on the sun terrace for a while, which turned out to be a reassuringly normal and comfortable activity after the strangeness of the rest of their afternoon. “ I’m sorry Dani but your mother has been out working hard all day and she returns home, and you offer her next to no help to prepare the evening meal for all, including your guest. Not good enough Dani. It is a long time since I was 14 @James Carnarvon so perhaps my opinion is not “current”, but I certainly don’t think Dani and Giacomo are “moving way too fast”. I was thinking quite the opposite. Whatever the speed, I think you are handling their “blossoming” relationship beautifully, even if I don’t want them to be together (now where is that damned little mouse).
  2. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 6

    I agree wholeheartedly with the excellent précis from @weinerdog. Mommie Dearest seems to have forgotten, conveniently I would say, she is the parent and Stacy is her child and therefore her responsibility, not Seth’s. It is bad enough Seth has to drive her wherever she wishes to go whilst enduring her abuse, he should not have to act as her “chaperone” and “protector” too. I seem to recall they are twins, which usually indicates they are the same age. Mommie Dearest needs to stop indulging Stacy’s bad behaviour and that of her fellow bitch, Maggie. Craig’s sense of entitlement seems to have grown concomitantly with his ego, arrogance and apparently his cock. He is going to make trouble for Seth and probably for Blake. Speaking of Blake, the poor boy appears to have as many psychological problems as he has had physical problems. His sperm donor and incubator have really done a number on him. Seth’s concern for him appears genuine, exceeded only by the concern expressed by Amber. She struck me as a little flippant in the prior chapter, but in this chapter with her revelation of the full extent of Blake’s problems, her care for him shone through. A well written and thought-provoking chapter @Ronyx Until this chapter I had not thought Craig capable of any real violence. It seems I was wrong; his threats towards Seth chilling to say the least.
  3. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 3

    Very astute comments @chris191070. Bryan may well have abandonment issues and perhaps be a little more cynical than one would expect from someone so young, but is it really surprising. He has seen amongst the very worse humanity is capable of, with the pathetic excuses he and Caleb had for parents. I suspect he has always looked out for and protected Caleb from the excesses of their incubator and sperm donor. Frankly, I think his attitude is far healthier than that of Caleb who apparently began to fall victim to what little charm their incubator possessed before she died. If as I suspect Calvin will make a reappearance in their life, Bryan will not fall for any attempt for reconciliation or any overture of friendship, whereas I can imagine Caleb being fooled by him just like he was by their incubator. We have already seen what effect stress has on Caleb; imagine the stress he will suffer if their sperm donor does return with dishonourable intentions. Speaking of Caleb, I hope he begins to receive a little more of your attention @John Henry.
  4. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 6

    These were my exact thoughts @drpaladin. I recall, hopefully correctly, Luca speaking very highly of his adoptive parents, therefore I think your speculation is well founded. He also appears to be a chivalrous teenager in the manner in which he treats Emilia. It certainly felt that way to me @James Carnarvon. Dani's reminiscences of Giacomo kissing Laura and Giacomo's almost cavalier attitude towards Dani's crush on him on the past, are reason enough for Dani to be very guarded. I think Dani takes life a little more seriously than Giacomo too who I sense to some degree is playing with Dani's feelings. I don't think there is any malicious intent, but I somehow doubt he fully realises for Dani the attraction is not a game. Weapon smuggling is something far more serious than what Dani previously encountered. Emilia has the right idea, report it to the Carabinieri. I missed my "little mouse" in this chapter @James Carnarvon. And to think at first I did not like him at all. I also thought of a more flattering and inclusive name for the throuple, Giamardani.
  5. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 4

    I have to agree wholeheartedly with the comments made by @Clancy59. I doubt he meant it to be so, but I found Eric's comments a little insensitive and patronising., but then again I can be a snarky bitch at times, especially if someone tells me something I already am aware of but am trying to avoid. Another great piece of writing @Libby Drew.
  6. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 3

    Another chapter filled with Libbyesque or is it Drewesque humour @Libby Drew, but for me the highlight of the chapter was "For a moment, the memory of a very different man filled his thoughts. One who had held a weeping Michael over the grave of his parents, and who had taken him in and shaped him into the sort of man his father would have been proud of." Now it all makes sense. Michael's sense of loyalty to his grandfather is understandable.
  7. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 2

    You certainly know how to "turn up the heat" for those sex scenes @Libby Drew. Although the sexual act depicted was quite tame, the steam was rising off the laptop as I read your descriptive narrative. I like the fact the two protagonists are from very different worlds. Eric the worldly well-travelled student, Michael the somewhat downtrodden, stuck-in-a-rut factory worker, although their intellectual capacities seem well matched thus far. It struck me as odd though that Eric, the more worldly of the two, is the more relationship-oriented of the two. After all wouldn't one expect a "sprout eating hippie" student to be all about random sexual encounters and bacchanalian orgies. A paradox perhaps, but one which greatly appeals to me. It will be interesting to see if a relationship develops between the tow and if so how much their life experiences impact upon their expectations from such a relationship. As for Michael's non-promotion, @weinerdog and @drsawzall said it best, complete bullshit. Asswipe aka Ed the boss, clearly knows Michael is not likely to complain and has taken advantage of this to ensure his own agenda is met.
  8. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 2

    An interesting observation @drsawzall. Is there a gene for bigotry or a predisposition to bigotry or is it something which is entirely acquired due to exposure to it, the old nature vs nurture riddle? Whatever the reason, you are quite correct in that the apple did not fall far from the tree. It would seem that neither Dan nor his mother are particularly bright either. Mr Deacon was certainly a breath of fresh air, just the sort of principal needed to wade through the bullshit flowing from the mouths of the parents of babes. I can understand Bryan not being upset by the death of his incubator. It seems she made no effort to improve her own life or her relationship with her children. I know it is judgmental and certainly not "fashionable" to have these beliefs, but I am tired of junkie's using their "addiction" as an excuse to fuck up the lives of their children. I don't care if they fuck up their own lives, but do not fuck up the life of a child you have birthed or sired and think you still deserve sympathy for your addiction. No no no. It is concerning though Bryan has had issues with his emotions and has made no progression in resolving these issues. Well written and enjoyable chapter @John Henry. The characters you have created thus far are believable and a mix of likeable and not so likeable, much like life itself. I was glad to read Diego detested Donna but refrained from bad-mouthing her to her children. He is a far better man than I.
  9. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 1

    I too remember playing the licence plate game @Libby Drew in addition to I-spy and what type of car will be the next one going in the opposite direction (I don't recall it having a specific briefer name) in my youth. One chapter in and you have already established interesting, believable and engaging characters with sufficient differences to provide fertile ground for future clashes of opinion and drama. Once again your whimsical sense of humour shone through @Libby Drew. Rob's description of Eric as "he dresses in hippie clothes, like those sprout-eating wackjobs out west. You know, in Oregon." had me chuckling loudly and wondering if he, Eric, smells like patchouli or sandalwood.
  10. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 1

    Given the synopsis of the story @John Henry I assume Calvin does not return from Pennsylvania. As much as he is despicable for abandoning his children, Calvin appears to have cared for them to some degree by leaving them with someone he believes will care for them. Additionally, he took the time to see a lawyer to arrange for temporary custody of his children with Diego and left him with their birth certificates and other important paperwork needed for medical care etc. Ultimately, Calvin’s disappearance from the lives of his children, although motivated by his selfishness, may be the best thing which could happen to them, ensuring they will have a life of stability, with food, shelter and care, all things necessary to give them a start in life. I also assume, hopefully incorrectly, Calvin may be the person from the childrens' past, who resurfaces upon the death of their mother. If this proves to be so and he has not changed for the better and/or tries to disrupts the childrens' lives, that is when I shall truly hate him @John Henry.
  11. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 1

    On face value Calvin is a selfish prick who does not deserve to have the children he has and the children he has do not deserve to have him as a parent. I have to wonder if he was a junkie too or only his ex-wife. Either way, he at least got the children away from her and a life of hell, albeit to a life which appears to have only been marginally better. Calvin meets a woman online and takes off to Pennsylvania where he thinks he will be able to convince her within three months to return with him. Not buying this bullshit at all. Although it may be inconvenient for Diego to be saddled with the two young children I cannot see him shirking the task. He provided a home to Calvin yet again for the sake of the children, therefore if nothing else Diego has a conscience and a strong sense of justice. Although it will be difficult for the children to adjust to life without their sperm donor, they will at least have shelter, food, clothing and will be cared for. A great start to a story which I envisage will not always be an easy read @John Henry, but if the quality of your narrative remains equal to that of this first chapter, will be well worth the read. I am also a sucker for the underdog, and stories with an "adoption plot line" invariably appeal to me, even though I am not fond of children at all. I detest adults like Calvin and Donna, both should be permanently neutered so they can NEVER reproduce again.
  12. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 5

    I think it is a little more than her two X chromosomes @James Carnarvon. Emilia is somewhat like the pre-teen Claudia in that she is reserved and although a little more forthright than the pre-teen Claudia she had three and now has four boys her age to compete with for "air time". Claudia of course changed as she matured and perhaps Emilia will too, particularly when she goes to her new school. It appears Emilia's parents have a much "tighter hold" on her too than did Claudia's and have much higher expectations for her future. If she does not live up to those expectations I can see trouble ahead for her, whereas Mamma Rossi is far more realistic and has allowed Claudia to become the person she wanted to be.
  13. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 5

    I was well into reading this chapter @James Carnarvon with no tears shed and then WHAM! SLAM! KAPOW! you walloped your readers with"Emilia nodded. “I guess so. Although, what do you give to the boy who’s spent his life with nothing?” “Love, I guess,” Daniele murmured." followed shortly thereafter by"What made you go for the photo album?” Emilia shrugged. “I thought he’d like to start building some good memories, now, you know?” I have not paid much attention to Emilia before, but the kindness and empathy she displayed with these few brief comments made me realise why she was previously attracted to Dani. They are seemingly much alike. Further tears, but this time tears of joy with "Marco laughed slightly, his cool grey eyes flicking from one foster father to the other. Daniele looked on, heartened to see the ease between the three of them. He wondered if the other boy had ever felt so safe with his birth parents." and "Marco backed shakily away from the table and hurried round to the other side, where he pulled his two foster fathers into a hug, mumbling something indistinct into Gianni’s chest" and "Marco nodded. “There’s more, though. Gianni and Angelo are taking me away for a few days. We’re going to Rome!” The smaller boy’s grey eyes shone with excitement as he said this, and it occurred to Daniele that it might be the first chance he had ever had to leave the coast. “You’ve never…?” Daniele asked. Marco shook his head. “We’re going to ride the Metro and see the Colosseum, the Forum, the Vatican City… it’s going to be epic.” I challenge anyone to dare making disparaging comments about Gianni's parenting skills in relation to Marco. He and Angelo are doing a wonderful job, bringing joy into the little mouse's life which his birth parents never brought. And it is not just the gifts, it is the sense of safety and self-worth and the joy for life and in living, these are the greatest gifts Gianni and Angelo are giving Marco. The good doctor, @drsawzall, has expressed beautifully what is perhaps the most striking development to emerge in this story to date @James Carnarvon The differences between he and Marco could not be more striking, as Marco discovers more about the good inside him, we see Giaco a bit more clearly as the curtains are peeled back. He's becoming a bit more unsure of himself, finding growing up isn't easy or easy to cover the feelings radiating out of him. He's a bit less confident as Marco becomes so. Another wonderfully entertaining, well written and thought provoking chapter @James Carnarvon. No thoughts of Kate Bush in this chapter, although your favourites, the Pet Shop Boys, with a guest appearance by that most wonderful of Springfield's, Dusty, did make an appearance when Emilia commented “Wow, you must really… although I’m not sure what he’s done to deserve it.” Not the exact title, but very close to one of their most enduring, and in my humble opinion, one of their very best songs.
  14. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 4

    I'm getting the sense that it doesn't take much to make you think of Kate Bush. 😉 You are partially correct @James Carnarvon. I cannot pinpoint any particular evidence, but just like Kate I find your writing very British, something which appeals to me greatly. Kate has also often been inspired by literature and film when writing her songs. Oddly enough she had not read Emily Bronte's masterpiece before she wrote her masterpiece, she had seen a 1970 British film based on the book. I have not seen it myself, although I have seen a little of the 1939 film with Laurence Olivier and Merle Oberon. What I saw I did not like at all. He was all wrong for Heathcliff; he was far more suited to play Edgar Linton. Many of Kate's songs are visual too, much like your work. I hesitate to sound like some kind of pretentious film critic, but I cannot think of a better way to describe much of your work and her's as "cinematic". I have read other works where occasionally one of her songs might "pop" into my head, but not with the same regularity as yours. Perhaps it is knowing you are both British which subconsciously influences this, but whatever the reason it is a happy combination for me. For obvious reasons I have had the occasional Dean Martin track "pop" into my head too when reading your work. You may not be familiar with him given your age, but he was multi-talented and always seemed very likeable.
  15. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 4

    That would explain why I in Australia "got in early" for once with my comments.
  16. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 4

    The aftermath of the disco and the rejected invitation to dance "The sunlight was streaming through the cracks in his shutters; normally, he would have rushed to throw them open, welcoming the summer into his room, but today it felt like too much effort." It must be a legacy from the musicality of the previous chapter @James Carnarvon because the listless Dani cooped up in his bedroom pining for Giacomo found the haunting beauty of Kate Bush's voice on 'Wuthering Heights' meandering in my mid-morning mind. Although they believe, or have convinced themselves to believe, they have restored their friendship to its former glory, there is a sense of malaise in the friendship between Dani and Giacomo, a malaise which the other three friends picked up on, especially the little mouse. "Marco, alone, looked unconvinced. He was wearing the faintest of troubled frowns, taking in the way they were standing together, the way they were dressed. Daniele supposed he was remembering the state he had been in on the night of the disco and was wondering how they had managed to sort everything out so quickly." As much as the "deep" Giacomo is surprising me @James Carnarvon, the empathic and very perceptive Marco is an even greater surprise. I suspect it has always been there though, but it is only now when he is beginning to enjoy life more and have a little more confidence that he is willing to speak up. Speaking of Marco's transition to happiness, Gianni and Angelo should be knighted (or its Italian equivalent). The pleasure they are bringing to Marco's life with simple yet much treasured day trips and other everyday things which others take for granted is a joy to witness. “I don’t understand what happened,” Giacomo said, “but I know one thing.” He looked back towards Daniele, a faintly pleading look in his dark eyes. “I really don’t want to lose my best friend over this. Do you?” And if "deep" Giacomo isn't enough of a surprise @James Carnarvon, we now have vulnerable Giacomo too. I suppose he previously displayed some degree of vulnerability when he was "dating" Laura, but not to the extent he is now. And in honour of the much featured Ravello hemiptera, I propose a little bit of frivolity @James Carnarvon. Absolutely Fabulous (The Scraping Cicada Remix) by the Pet Shop Boys featuring DJ Carnarvon and the Ravello Rapture.
  17. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 5

    I had the same thought @Shadow086, but seeing you express the same sentiment made me laugh until I cried. She is truly vile. I think she is Craig's beard and she is desperate and gullible enough to believe he is attracted to her and perhaps may even be in love with her. I shall enjoy watching her fall apart when it is revealed, as I am certain it will, he cares nought for her and has just used her. Being Stacy I am sure she will play the victim to the hilt and with the full support of Mommie Dearest will no doubt increase her vicious and spiteful behaviour towards Seth. Perhaps we will see the emergence of the hitherto only spoken of father. I am still speculating that he may be gay and Mommie Dearest has banished him from the life of her children. I do not trust Mommie Dearest at all and think Stacy well may be "a chip off the old block".
  18. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 3

    Please no, not wholesome. That makes her sound like a 1950's wife from on an American movie/sitcom where any bedroom scene shows she and her husband sleeping in separate beds. She aims to be the perfect wife, mother and neighbour. Always immaculately groomed and with a "sunny" disposition. A complete fucking fraud. The groundwork you laid meant that when the time came it seemed a natural progression of the less constrained affection Giacomo was displaying towards Dani, and the fact that this less constrained affection felt genuine.
  19. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 3

    “All right,” Giacomo smirked. Composing his face into a more solemn expression, he extended a fist towards Daniele and Marco. “I just want to mark this moment. Make a triangle with me.” Was this moment portentous @James Carnarvon? Perhaps we won't have to choose between Diaco and Darco. Perhaps it will be Diarco. Ravello's first throuple, Dani, Giacomo and Marco.
  20. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 3

    Wow! That was one incredible chapter @James Carnarvon. So much laughter, especially "Daniele smiled. “So, I’m… what, your silver lining?” “More like golden boy,” Marco murmured, casting his grey eyes casually to the heavens for a moment. Giacomo snickered. “Make that platinum baby,” he said, reaching for a lock of Daniele’s hair" and "What would Giacomo be wearing, he wondered? A tux, like Marco? Jeans and a shirt? One of his trendy athletic jackets? Daniele’s old red tie-dye t-shirt? …nothing at all?" The poignancy of the teacher's observations of Marco, Giacomo and Dani as they departed the school for the last time. Her observations of Marco I found particularly moving. "No, there would be no confessions of undying love at the disco; just a couple of hours of enforced awkwardness, and then they would all be free to go." The text in bold I thought could be the title, albeit a long one or at least a lyric from a Pet Shop Boys song. It has a theatricality or imperious ring to it don't you think @James Carnarvon. It was a rather convenient segue for me into the songs to come too. "Oh, you look gorgeous,” she said. Daniele fidgeted slightly in embarrassment. “Ah, c’mon…” Patrizia shook her head. “I mean it… you look so grown up.” She sighed sadly. “You’ll make some lucky boy very happy one day.” Is it possible Patrizia could have said anything more wonderful to Dani than this? It may have embarrassed him, but what a positive reinforcement of her love for him and the fact that his sexual orientation is no more or no less important to her than the colour of his hair or the colour of his eyes. "The low, golden evening sun had dipped behind the hills, casting Daniele’s side of town into shadow, but there was still a heady warmth to the air. He took the climb gently, keeping his heart rate low; it wouldn’t do to overheat in his shirt and tie before the party had even started. His smart black shoes clopped against the crazy paving of the ancient steps, echoing off the buildings and high stone walls to either side." This is where the music began for me @James Carnarvon. I heard the slow sultry beat of Donna Summer's Love To Love You Baby with Donna's orgasmic cooing starting to ring through the vast expanse of the hillside. "Im .... spinning around ...." Kylie Kylie Kylie. Yes Yes Yes. Spectacular. I assumed Sonique and was greatly impressed. "Paninaro" Pet Shop Boys. One of their better lesser known songs. The finale did not surprise, but the extraordinary depth of Marco's perception and compassion did. "Daniele spread his arms helplessly. “All the things we’ve done together,” he said desperately. “Like helping each other to climb mountains, or the way we looked out for each other during the business with Ettore last year… I trust Giaco with my life. Just not…” He tailed off miserably, drawing another ragged breath. “…with your heart?” Marco suggested quietly." I was sobbing, not only for Dani and that most beloved little Mouse, but for Giacomo too. The good doctor was right, the latter is a confused boy. Had it been before this story I would have thought Giacomo acted without care for the feelings of others, but now I believe he is struggling and there was no hint of malice or ego.
  21. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 5

    "Come on, Craig,” insisted Stacy as she pulled him away. “Don’t spend your time with these losers.” Stacy is way too stupid @weinerdog to realise how ridiculous this statement is. It has struck me before but never so vividly as in this chapter, particularly with this statement, that Stacy and Craig are the Christie and Billy respectively of Romy & Michele's High School Reunion. If you have not seen the film do yourself a favour and watch it. If you have not and do not, Christie and Billy are the "beautiful couple" in their final year in high school who marry after school and their life turns to shit, basically because both are narcissistic, obnoxious. spoilt and vicious, particularly Christie. They have nothing to offer society but expect to be given everything because they consider themselves superior. It was a joy to watch their fall from grace and the grotesque stereotypes they became. I suspect Blake's problems may run far deeper than his parent's hating him. He is I believe a very troubled boy. If he and Seth do become closer I expect Craig will cause either one or both a great deal of trouble. His behaviour in the restaurant was very disturbing. Some very humorous moments in this chapter @Ronyx, particularly in the pizza place. Ty and Amber both displayed a good sense of humour, although Amber did perhaps go a little too far. Ty is definitely aware his friend Seth is not what he is pretending to be.
  22. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 4

    Maybe or maybe not @gdaniel. If Seth were Stacy instead and she behaved with Craig in the same manner would you have been equally appalled at the behaviour? I suspect you may have. I have known numerous gay men in my life whom others would regard as promiscuous, just as I have known numerous straight men and straight women whom others would regard as promiscuous. You have your own moral values @gdaniel, and whilst others may not agree with you, it is your right to have such values. As @weinerdog and @Ronyx have both pointed out, Seth is a 16 year old gay boy who is eager to experience gay sex. I imagine many boys his age, including straight boys, have experienced some kind of sexual interaction with other boys, as would many girls. Craig is "offering it to him on a plate" so to speak, so why not go for it. Whilst it appears Seth is a "victim" and Craig a "predator", it is apparent Seth is a willing participant. I personally don't have a problem with Seth blowing his sister's boyfriend as I agree with the universal opinion, Stacy is a bitch. Perhaps one could say Seth is using Craig to a certain degree, perfecting his sexual skills "until the real thing comes along". I am increasingly beginning to think Stacy is merely a convenient "beard" for Craig's true nature, she is after all not demanding anything of him sexually. All I can say is he must have a strong stomach though to be able to tolerate making out with her. She is one of @Ronyx's more repugnant teenage girl creations. I also suspect @Ronyx is developing a "predator" and "willing victim" relationship between Craig and Seth until such time as the shit hits the fan and both are exposed. This would certainly explain the story title Seth On The Road To Chaos.
  23. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 2

    Akin to your fellow countryman and dare I say "idol". Very Tennantesque. Yes, yes, yes. Team Darco has such a wonderful ring to it. Dark chocolate.
  24. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 2

    I hope I am not completely predictable and my comments on this chapter take you by surprise @James Carnarvon. In response to my comments on the prior chapter you stated "Chapter two may not be quite so great... still quite a bit of setting up to do... but from chapter three onwards the story will really kick into gear." I have to disagree with you vociferously; this chapter was superb, perhaps one of the best, if not the best, you have ever written in my humble opinion. Your climatic descriptions which I ALWAYS enjoys (even if winter) were amongst the best ever "three whole months of total freedom amidst the endless days, blue skies and soporific heat of the summer" and "It was the last day of May, meaning that it was literally the eve of the summer as the town baked its way through the hottest part of the day, the pace of life in the square was gentle." Admittedly you were describing my favourite season, but it is testament to your literary skills that for a brief moment I smelt the coconut oil of my younger days (SPF4 only please) which I used to slather myself with to maximise my tan. The winter blues retreated even if for only a moment as precious memories of summer came to the fore. Even the mundane had a sense of style or beauty in this chapter with such simple yet vividly written descriptions as "Down among the older buildings, tourists would be coming and going from the restaurants and boutiques that lined the narrow old alleyway, oblivious to the mundane reality of education taking place only a few metres away." The "mundane reality of education" just blew me away. It may or may not have been deliberate on your part, but I loved the alliteration of "Daniele wrestled with trigonometry, with its tirade of troublesome triangles". I had a great chuckle reading this. Much of this chapter moved me to tears too, some from melancholy and some from joy, none more so than "Over the four years since their move from Milan, he had taken root in Ravello, and he was in no hurry to leave." Dani is exceptional, as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. He along with Gianni and the little mouse that roared, are my favourite characters you have created. I love how Dani still has a certain naïveté which only adds to his appeal. “You like me checking you out?” Daniele asked incredulously. “It doesn’t suck,” Giacomo admitted. Daniele frowned as he reflected on the other boy’s words. But why, Giaco? What do you get out of it? You are stroking his ego constantly Dani, although I have to say it again @James Carnarvon, Giacomo's new found, or is it perhaps only just emerging with maturity, depth of feeling is such that I don't think him the shallow boy I once thought. Like the good doctor (@drsawzall) said, Giacomo seems to be somewhat confused at times as to what his true feelings for Dani are. The physical description of Enzo and Assunta Neri were both very humorous. I particularly liked "Stocky and strong, with unlovely facial features". What a kind way to say someone has an unattractive face. "We dropped our school things off at my place first" Marco replied". Before even reading the next sentence in which Dani noted this comment, it struck me that this was a most un-Marco like thing to say. With the change in family circumstances such positive and proud comments will hopefully become more commonplace for this most adorable of boys. I could write so much more @James Carnarvon about this most wonderful of chapters, but my comments may end up "dwarfing" the chapter itself. I do however, have to state that: "Hanging out with Marco was easier than hanging out with Giacomo, somehow. The nervous energy that the dark-eyed boy brought out in him could be exhausting. With Marco, Daniele felt more in control of himself and his body. Every so often, as he had that morning, he would suddenly find the smaller boy hanging off his every word, but usually their relationship felt a little less fraught. He wondered which of his two best friends he would turn to if he ever had a really serious problem that he wanted to talk about. It’d be Marco, wouldn’t it…?" is the most emotionally rewarding and joyous thing you have written. I hope my positivity is not premature, but I can almost hear a slight rumble in the little mouse's chest as he is readying himself to one day roar, a roar that will be heard throughout the Amalfi coast when Dani realises Marco is his true love (fuck I am even weeping as I write this).
  25. Summerabbacat

    Chapter 1

    Perhaps frenetic was not the correct word to use to describe the chapter @James Carnarvon. What I was trying to say was that compared to the usual languid pace of your writing which mirrors the idyllic charm of Ravello itself (which I relish), this chapter was bursting with energy. This may be due to the appearance of virtually all the main characters from the prior stories being together in the one place at the one time, and the joy and happiness which the gathering seemed to bring to all. There was a frenzy of activity on the beach with Dani and Giacomo in particular moving from one group of party dwellers to another. Feral cats are a huge problem in Australia, one which is solely attributable to the stupidity and selfishness of the human species. It is one which ignites my fury in the first instance and my abject horror with the method many feel is justified in resolving this issue. This problem is an indictment of the human species worldwide seemingly.
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