This story has so much potential to be a great novel, and I hope that you consider adding either more chapters to this story, or continue with a second, and may I even say third one as well?
This is such a departure to the stories you have written so far (at least the ones that I have read) that it's refreshing to see you branch out from the other ones.
BTW, if you need an editor (from what I have seen you need at least a pre-reader) I am willing to do this for you. Quite a few typo's and spell check errors, that I am willing to get back into editing for you. I did it for quite a few authors and I know good editors are hard to find. If you are interested send me a private message. This goes for the other authors that are reading this and want some help polishing up their work. Give me a PM
Joe in MS