Bondwriter
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Everything posted by Bondwriter
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I know it's not funny, but this story about the parade got me laughing out loud a lot. It's just a great comedy scene! Scary it is, but less than (young) people rallying to say Matthew Sheppard had it coming, the sick f...s Among the most traumatic experiences in my life were religious services in various born-again/ fundamentalist churches and being harassed by people who wanted to save me with vivid description of fire and brimstone. And at the time I was a church-going Catholic...
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I like the way Lugh phrases his suggestions. Song titles could work: "The Long Winding Road", "Stairway to Heaven", "Money"... I'm sure you'll have tons of ideas too!
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Oh boy! It's getting better! Now the crazy fundamentalists, and some mysterious organization pulling the strings from behind, the nice small town atmosphere where everybody knows what others do... You're making it more and more difficult to bet on an outcome. Plus the cliff-hanger with the threat to such a great relationship... You know how to keep us salivating and willing to be next week already. Reminds me of the comic books magazine I got when I was 12, that had always these great cliff-hangers at the end. The fundamentalist thing is weird for us Europeans. There are homophobes, but it never takes such extreme organized forms. But as I visited relatives in the US over the holidays, I got to see 2 minutes of Jerry Falwell on TV, and it was enough to remind me that these people do exist, sadly enough. My only comfort is to imagine that if indeed there is an afterlife, St Peter will show Reverend Falwell his way straight to hell, for all the evil he'll have brought upon this earth.
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I thought magicians did not give away their tricks? I only start having people proof-reading and editing my stories, but it's really good to get someone to have a fresh look at what you write. I'm currently writing a serial taking place during the Prohibition era, and I couldn't do without a more expert opinion on slang and idioms of this period, so I'm glad to have someone give me some input and reviewing the dialogues so they sound more genuine. Not speaking of Sterling's great work on the story I posted. I think it also helps you to improve your writing to have flaws pointed out. And yes, it makes it a bit of a team work also. Good thing, very good thing!
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That's a surprising reaction, especially if he writes back a couple weeks later. There's all this begging for feedback on story sites, so if he leaves an email address, he might expect to get some messages. Sometimes feedback might be a bit worrying, if people start asking for advice or telling about personal problems that do not seem directly connected with the fiction one writes. But most often the mere fact that people take time to write to me they enjoyed what I did is enough to make my day, and I make a point of writing a thank you note, and if their comment goes beyond "Nice work, thanks", to develop a bit on their reaction. Obviously if you start getting lots of feedback, you might have to refrain from engaging into lengthy dialogues. As for giving info on other sites where fiction is available, it's a simple copy and paste, and if you get too many of these questions, you should somehow provide it in your story if the site you post on is OK with it, and why shouldn't they be? The puzzling thing is that he even got back to you. I've been a bit pissed as a reader when I wrote twenty lines of comment (praise) about a story and that they were not even acknowledged, but then silence is fine with me; it will just save ten minutes the next time this guy posts a story. As Dio points out, there might be some misunderstanding with your message. I think the guy must have had "one of these days" and you should not bother too much.
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I think you set a trap to the author here. This comment was akin to line up open bottles of booze outside the door of an AA meeting with neon signs above saying: "Just once, it won't hurt!" :nuke: But beside this, you have a point in imagining what kind of conspiracy Eric could be involved in. The organization that recruited him certainly has an interest in him being a cop's child. Then they had him show his creds with the blackmail stuff. The thing is: what is this organization ultimate target? Do they need uniforms and badges to enter Fort Huachuca? Wouldn't they be better off getting a kid whose father is in the military? Is it a corrupt organization only interested in profitable crime like smuggling drugs or selling industry secrets? We'll have to wait to find out unless relentless posting causes replies that end up being spoilers. Have a go at it Graeme, it seems to work pretty well!
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A simple plan: 1. Bribe some cop to get their way into jail 2. Torture Eric until he gives the password away 3. See what's on the data stick Obviously neither very legal nor righteous, but this could work (and Mel Gibson will be happy to play Eric in the movie version). Good luck for writing your characters' way out of such a scenario and having them look good.
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I actually did and I would have found it very funny that they had to go on another mission that took them all night. Then you could have suffered some retaliation from disgruntled fans. And the love scene was really nicely done.
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Another good chapter, with lots of foreshadowing for future events. What's the legal age for drinking in Arizona? Aren't they going to get caught by the homophobic cops on this basis? I guess Chris and Steven's outfits are getting better every chapter! Can't wait for the moment they go to school in thongs!
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I like the frustration thing actually (in fiction!). It seems to work on the readers to build suspense too. If you manage to keep it up until the very last chapter with your audience panting and with frothing mouth, this will be a feat.
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Hooves, cryptic evil number... I hope I didn't step into the Devil's lair!
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I love the serial side of the story. Foreshadowing, hints, and there's more crap coming our heroes' way. I'll be back next week!
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I didn't have the feeling that anyone in the thread hated religion. This minister's position is just a bit weird. I think you may (you should?) get along with people regardless of their gender, nationality, political views, religious beliefs or sexual orientation. I might have problems getting along with someone who will be self righteously Christian/ Catholic and run his business in blatant denial of everything written in the Gospels (like not paying overtime or firing people unfairly), not only because of his morals towards sex, though sex in general, not only gay sex, is usually a big problem in monotheist religions. Hypocrisy is the biggest problem. Some people are religious and happy, and above all, they don't want to force their faith upon others. Sadly enough, there are also many examples of organized religions (not only Christian) who restrain people's individual liberties and do not seem very eager to have individuals develop fully as free and happy beings. If this subject is too touchy, is there a blog that discusses these issues, actually bordering on politics?
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I spent one year of my life living with Born-Again Christians, who were not really consistent over time with the things they preached. As long as you fear hell more than you love life, it'll be difficult to spread joy and happiness around you. I'm as puzzled as Rick by the fact that this guy acknowledges his homosexuality and still want to live with guilt and repentance. As if he had done something nasty when he was 4 and Satan came to curse him with being gay...
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Yes, it is a nice chapter indeed. I don't feel too much like commenting much further, since I don't know if there are more chapters to come. But I agree with Michael that two guys running around in shorts and having adventures (and impressing all the population in Piedmont ) are great characters to read about! Eric is just a mean dumb b... and then, the question is: are you born a nuisance to others or do you make a conscious choice to be one? (Just kidding, btw...) Steve is rather easy-going not to confront him more on his weird, mean behavior. (Going back to first line: what will happen next?)
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OK, now I'm behind on schedule... But I don't regret it one sec! I read your whole story at once. I must say the crying character at the very beginning almost got me lost, but I'm glad I went on for a few more paragraphs. Then I had to know what would come next. I cringed (a bit) and smiled (a lot) at times, and boy, I loved the revenge on the blackmailer! I hope nothing REALLY bad happens to Eric, so we don't need to feel sorry for the twerp. Thanks for making Steve's parents such great characters. I agree with Graeme (at least I think he's the one who made this comment) that Eric's way to blackmail both characters could have been a bit more devious. With all their nice friends, it's a bit hard to believe that Eric can manage to deceive both Steve and Chris. But, heck, devious bastards have ways, and this is fiction! Great job!
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Ten days of coming over this site and I'm more amazed everyday at the amount of good writing, and the overall nice tone of the dialogues. I am absolutely unaware of the problems and drama. I've had fast replies from the staff when I asked for help, Myr included, since it is a big site and it is sometimes tough to find one's way around. I don't have any less ego than anybody else, but I also realize that to get attention and people reading your stories, you have to work hard, be patient and just be grateful that you have a quality space to post your stuff. Then let readers decide. Twenty years ago you'd never have had even the slightest opportunity to get in touch with editors, and even getting published in underground magazines would have been EXTREMELY difficult if not impossible. I hope the vocal minority doesn't burn you out eventually, admin team. Cheers to the people who make this possible! Hail to Myr, Joe and Kitty and all others who spend time and energy giving such a nice space for writers.
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Besides intimate moments, I should say rock concerts are still the thing that makes me feel deeply alive. When you feel grabbed into another completely different world and you think it's really good to be a live. But there are so many wonderful moments in life... Late evening discussions, moments when you make a difference in somebody else's life for whatever reason... It's really tough to point out very specific moments.
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I've joined only a week ago. And I'm not sure I'll find what I was first expecting. But I hope I'll find something else: being able to exchange with others on writing. That's already a lot. Obviously I won't be able to ever read everybody's work , and some genres do not necessarily appeal to me. Yet this seems to be quite a unique place. I wish I could have joined such a forum/ site 20 years ago.
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Dang! It took me all this time to find the introduction thread. I'm from France, as you'll see on the left. I've been writing for years, but for the last ten years I've been mainly interested in writing bondage fiction (I also write for money for advertising and such, and song lyrics for my band...) I've had stuff posted here and there, in various sub-genres (stories for teens or adults, in English and French) I must have come across this site a couple times and shied away from it since it looked very complete. This time I'm giving it a go. So hello, everybody! I should have a good grasp of what's going on here around Cristmas 2008!
